We Will Bleed

by Nicole Thorn

  We waited in silence for Juniper to open her eyes again, telling us something useful. If we had a direction to go in, then we could at least try and put an end to this new threat. Though Argus came up, so maybe it didn’t count as new. Fine then, an old threat, a new one, and a whole lot of stress for us. All I knew was that if Erebus came near my boyfriend again, I would have to murder him. Somehow.

  “Um,” Juniper said, opening her eyes. “I couldn’t . . . Everything was spotty. I couldn’t see any faces, and it all kept blinking out.”

  “What?” Verin asked. “You can’t see?”

  “And I can’t see,” Jasmine said quietly.

  “No,” Verin added tensely, standing up. “It’s fine. There’s a reasonable explanation for all of this, and I’m going to make sure it all gets cleared up. So you girls don’t have to worry about a thing.”

  Zander and I exchanged a look with each other, but I couldn’t speak. I only wondered what possible reasons the seers couldn’t see anymore, and I didn’t like the options. I wanted the problem to go away, and I wanted life to feel normal. Was it so much to ask for? A quiet life with the people I loved? Our time together was so limited already, and we didn’t deserve these constant threats. It needed to stop.

  “We can’t see,” Jasmine repeated. “How are you planning on fixing that, because I don’t know if you can.”

  “Of course, I can,” Verin said. “Give me a problem and I’ll fix it.”

  “Or stop it before it starts,” Zander decided. “We’ll find out what did this, and I’ll kill it. Easy as that.”

  Verin pointed at him. “You’re nearly right. I can do the killing.”

  “Is this a real fight?” I asked flatly. “You don’t have to bicker about who gets to kill what. How about we work on figuring out why they’re having problems. Jasper, how about you? Can you see?”

  He stayed silent for a few seconds, checking for us. “I hear the whispers still, so I’m fine.”

  “That means one of two things,” I said. “You see the past, and the past is over. But the girls are totally different. Someone could be targeting them and not you, or it’s something up with how they see.”

  “Meaning?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Verin pulled Juniper on her feet, keeping her hand when she got there. “I think I need to have a conversation with my girlfriend, so I’ll see you lot in the morning. Don’t wait up for us.”

  Juniper squeaked as she got yanked up the stairs, and then tossed over Verin’s shoulder. She laid there, having already given up on fighting. He would have only tried to logic her out of the disagreement.

  “An early night might be a good idea,” I decided. “I kind of want to lock myself in a dark room for a while.”

  Jasmine nodded. “I like that idea. I have a present I have to give Zander anyway, and it requires privacy so that he’s not embarrassed by his reaction to my perfect wooing.”

  My brother shook his head. “You’re insane for still trying to win this. I knit you a heart shaped rug. Obviously, I win.”

  “You’ll never win, because I’m the queen of wooing. I’ll be an old lady, wooing your ass off. You don’t even understand how hard I’ll woo you.”

  I smiled to myself as Zander tried to convince Jasmine she had been wrong about this. They’d been going at it for the entirety of their relationship, and a little before. No one was willing to give up and call the other one the winner. Honestly, I hoped they didn’t stop. It added some light to this house.

  “Prepare to be wooed,” Jasmine said as she walked backward to the stairs.

  Zander followed, grinning. “Prepared to be something else right after.”

  “Come on!” Jasper groaned. “I’m right here. Why are you like this?”

  Zander shrugged. “Born this way. Sorry.”

  “You’re not sorry.”

  “Nah.”

  Then I got left all alone with my boyfriend, and I put my head against his shoulder. His arm went around me, and I felt better for the time being. Verin made a fair point, saying that Erebus could have hurt Jasper if he wanted to. He didn’t, so that had to count for something. We could relax, for at least one night.

  “Um,” I said quietly. “Can we go upstairs?”

  “Sure.”

  I held Jasper’s hand on our way up, and my heart started racing fast. My brain kept trying to get me to do something, but every time I opened my mouth, I ended up closing it again. I couldn’t say the words, and it had been tripping me up for weeks.

  When we got into our room, I started changing for bed. I picked out a comfortable nightie that went a little past my knees. It was light green, and I loved it a lot. I also loved that Jasper stared at me while I wore it. The only time I could get stared at and not want to hide.

  I sat in bed with Jasper, working up the guts to do something. That didn’t happen. Instead, he pulled me closer to him. “I know you’re worried. I think it’ll be fine. It’s always fine.”

  I nodded. “I know. That’s not what I was thinking about.” Maybe it should have been. Was it messed up to have my mind in such a different place when bad things were lurking? I couldn’t help it.

  “Then what are you thinking about?”

  I thought my heart would explode in my chest. I wondered if it were possible for a demigod to have a heart attack. I might have been about to find out. I felt like I was about to jump off of a plane, and I didn’t know for sure if my shoot would deploy.

  “Um,” I said, and the sound shook. I didn’t know how to say it and not sound stupid, so I put my hand behind Jasper’s neck, and I pulled him to me.

  Our lips touched, and it only gave me a little bit of relief. His hand slipped under my nightie, and his fingers brushed my thigh. He did nothing more than that, probably waiting for me to say okay.

  My stupid heart kept racing when I pulled Jasper onto me, laying on the bed. I hoped he would have done it on his own, but I had to do the pushing. It could have had something to do with the fact I gave him less than a minute.

  Jasper looked down at me with a smile. Then his mouth found mine again, and I parted my lips to deepen the kiss. When he still didn’t get on top of me, I adjusted myself and took care of the problem. Then I put my hands on his ass and pulled him against me.

  Jasper pulled back to look at me again. “Are you trying to tell me something?” he laughed.

  I kind of laid there frozen, my eyes wide. I cursed in my head, upset that he didn’t just let it keep happening. Then I wouldn’t have had to say anything. I could have been a coward, and still gotten what I wanted.

  “Oh,” Jasper said. “You were, weren’t you?”

  I swallowed, unsure of what to say. “Maybe.”

  He got off of me, sitting up. It wasn’t rejection, but it felt that way, and I wanted to hide under the blankets as I sat up too. I knew he loved me, but my mind filled with bad thoughts, like he didn’t want me, or he thought I was too broken to love me like this. It wasn’t true, and I kept telling myself that.

  “I know you’re scared,” Jasper said to me, taking my hand. “I don’t want you making choices like this because you think something bad is going to happen.”

  My eyes stayed a little too wide. “That’s not why I wanted to . . . do that.”

  “The timing is a little suspect.”

  “I know. But I’ve kind of been trying to do this for a while now. Remember that night where we went out to dinner, and then we got ice cream and ate it on the porch? I was sitting on your lap, and you kept kissing me under my ear.”

  “That was almost a month ago.”

  I blushed, embarrassed that I couldn’t have been normal, and slept with my boyfriend when I wanted to. “Well, I’ve been wanting to do this since then, and I didn’t really know how to talk about it. I’m . . . ready, I guess. If that’s the right word.”

  Jasper held my hand tighter and put his other on my knee. “You’re sure? Because you know I don’t mind waiting. I’m happy
with how things are.”

  My heart tried to kill me again, beating too fast. “I love you, and I want to be with you in every way I can. It’s not because I’m scared something bad is happening, or because I’m worried you’re getting impatient. I want to do this because I want to, and that’s it.”

  I had put a lot more thought into it than a normal person would have, but I had made a decision that I felt sure of. What happened when I was a kid wouldn’t mess up my life anymore, and I wouldn’t let fear keep me from making the kind of connections I wanted. That woman was long dead, and Jasper made me feel nothing but safe and loved. What more did I need than that?

  “Okay,” Jasper said, smiling a little. “You know you can tell me to stop any time you need to.”

  I nodded. “I know.”

  We met in the middle, and my arms went around his neck when we kissed again. I couldn’t make my heart stop racing, but I didn’t really mind anymore. I felt excitement that made my skin all tingly.

  I put my hands under Jasper’s shirt, running my hands across his skin before I decided the shirt would be much better on the floor. We had to separate when I pulled it over his head, but then Jasper moved me back, putting his body over mine.

  I threw my leg around him, pulling him tighter against me. It wasn’t nearly enough, but it would have to do for now. Jasper put his lips against my neck, kissing a line down to my shoulder as he pulled my nightie aside, giving him more skin to work with. I had to be careful that I didn’t break him with how tightly I had my leg around his body. I wanted to direct him, telling him he could have been a little less careful with me. I tried, moving my hips against his until he caught on. I gasped when he pushed against me and I felt that he was already hard. Not bad for my self-esteem.

  Jasper pulled my skirt up to my hips and thrust against me again. I gripped his shoulders, hoping I didn’t hurt him. He didn’t say anything, so I took that as a good sign.

  His hand slipped under my clothes, traveling up my side with slowness that might have been driving me to insanity. I panted already, out of breath at the simplest of things. I only had underwear on under the nightie, so Jasper met a whole lot of bare flesh that heated the moment he touched it. His palm dragged along the tip of my breast, making me gasp a little harder before he went to get the nightie off of me. I sat halfway up, helping Jasper. Once he pulled the fabric off, he pressed his lips to mine again, and then yanked my legs forward so I would fall onto my back. I giggled, and he grinned as he laid halfway on me.

  His hand had a firm grip on my waist as he made sure his mouth found every spot on my upper body that made me weak. I started getting impatient, and he laughed at me when I put my hand over his, moving it for him. I pushed it down my stomach, and toward the one article of clothing that I still had on. Jasper looked up at me from the spot on my chest that he had been giving attention. I saw the monster smirk as he went on with slow torture.

  I waited for his damn hand to get where it belonged and jerked a little when it did. I opened my legs more and pushed against his hand when he started caressing me. I pulled his mouth to mine, wanting to feel a little closer to the person I loved.

  Some part of me worried that I would have a panic attack, deciding that I couldn’t do this anymore. It loomed over me, keeping me from talking to Jasper about this part of our relationship. I felt haunted for so much of my life, and the hurting lingered. While I had been sure it would come back tonight to ruin this, it didn’t. I didn’t even have to remind myself that Jasper was the one touching me. I felt . . . normal.

  A climax snuck up on me, and I moaned softly against Jasper’s mouth as his fingers started moving again. I felt him slip one into me, and I responded by grabbing his arm and tensing on the bed. It was a good kind of tense, and I tried to keep kissing Jasper, even with the distracting sensations.

  I couldn’t take it anymore, and my being shattered apart only about a minute after that. I started pulling at the button of Jasper’s pants, attempting to get it undone with some form of grace. I probably looked more like an animal in my attempts, and Jasper had to help me out. I pushed the pants down his legs, along with the boxers. Then they got thrown aside, and I stole a greedy look at his body.

  We both sat up on our knees, our mouths working together while my hands went up and down his chest. He feels wonderful. Jasper feels wonderful, I thought. My fingertips danced along his skin as my body turned into a constant fire. It only got worse when Jasper felt my curves. It shouldn’t have been like that, surely. I shouldn’t have lost my mind when he did something as innocent as touching my hips. But I did, and I didn’t mind.

  When Jasper removed the last bit of clothing I had on, I laid back down. I worried that he would hear my heart racing if he got too close, and he would take it as me being afraid. I didn’t want Jasper to think I had other reasons for doing this. Though if he did, I figured he would have put an end to it.

  Jasper laid between my legs, kissing me as he put a hand on my knee, moving it a little farther from my other one. I adjusted, making sure he had all the room he needed. I felt like I kept smiling, and I waited for him to think I was a dork or something. A little pang of insecurity hit me when I remembered that he had done this before, and with a girl I hated more than anything. I worried that I would do something wrong, or he wouldn’t like it as much. While I thought it was stupid, my mind kept whispering that as I attempted to fight the thought away.

  My boyfriend watched me for a moment, and he smiled softly. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  He kissed me one more time, and I gripped the bedsheets when I felt him push into me. It wasn’t as painful as I had been prepared for, and I found that to be a pleasant surprise. Jasper pressed his body to mine, carefully moving against me.

  I really didn’t want to claw his shoulders open, so I kept my hold on him a gentle one. It didn’t occur to me before that I would have to watch out for that, but at least Jasper didn’t look worried.

  I tried to breathe evenly when Jasper tested the waters by pumping a little faster. It didn’t hurt anymore, and I felt my body start to relax. Then I felt a little silly for waiting so long to do this. Maybe it wouldn’t have gone as well if I hadn’t, but it seemed easy now. Fun even. Yeah, I was having fun. When I started to match Jasper’s pace with my hips, he smiled at me, and I felt all fluttery on the inside. We should have done this months ago.

  I encouraged Jasper to go a little harder, promising him I wouldn’t get hurt. Thankfully, he listened, and all of the hesitation stopped. He pulled my leg tighter around him for a much rougher thrust forward. That almost got my nails breaking his skin, so I took a handful of the sheets again. I could wreck them and not feel nearly as bad. Jasper kept up his pace while I attempted to stay as quiet as I could. We had four other people in the house, two of which had excellent hearing.

  Jasper’s nose brushed mine just a tiny bit as he smiled, and then kissed my lips. It was harder than I thought it would have been, trying to kiss in the middle of it. Since I was a little greedy, I still tried, getting a taste of his mouth periodically. I might not have been able to keep it up anyway, because felt myself getting closer to the end.

  I shut my eyes tightly, tearing the bedsheet as my nails caught on the fabric. I felt myself tighten around Jasper as I gasped, then stopped breathing for a few seconds. He didn’t stop pushing into me, and he pulled halfway out before pressing himself as deep as he could have gotten. He was damn lucky I didn’t have my hands on him, because bones would have been broken. Instead, I destroyed our bedding, and might have moaned a little too loudly.

  Before I came back down to earth, Jasper groaned over me, and stopped moving. Then we both panted, and I found his mouth for a few uncoordinated kisses that made me feel happy. I kept him there for a couple of minutes, not wanting to give up the feel of him over me.

  Then he moved to his side of the bed, and we laid flat on our backs while we caught our breath. I felt all light and giddy on the
inside, and my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Everyone did this, so why did I have to be such a weirdo about it? Maybe it had something to do with that fact that I used to think I wasn’t capable of such a thing. Not only would I have put myself through a lifetime of being alone to protect myself, but I had been convinced sex would send me into a tailspin. Instead, I was kind of hungry, and felt absurdly happy.

  I rolled over, halfway onto Jasper. My fingers trailed back and forth on his chest. “We can do that like every day, right?”

  He grinned. “If you want to.”

  “Good, because I feel like it should be every day. More than once sometimes, if you think you can do that.”

  I got laughed at. “You doubt my abilities?”

  “I don’t know what normal people do, so . . . nothing against you. I just think that we should do this as much as we can. I kind of liked it a whole bunch. Like . . . so much.”

  Jasper’s smile got bigger. “I’m really happy to hear that.”

  He pulled me down to him and kissed me one more time. It was slow, and nothing like the ones we managed in our previous activities. I felt more patient now, and able to do nothing but lie there and kiss my boyfriend. I kept my hand on him at all times, wanting to feel his heated skin. Everything about it was wonderful, and I thought about jumping him again. He might have needed a few minutes, but I didn’t. Yay for magical healing abilities and the stamina of a person on speed. But I could settle for this for the time being. I would take anything if it meant staying at Jasper’s side.

  CHAPTER SEVEN:

  Too Many Secrets

  Jasper

  I WOKE UP and felt Kezia’s bare skin against my own. She had wiggled around until her back could rest against my front. When I opened my eyes, I found Kezia stretched out next to me, her eyes still closed. They moved back and forth, as if she read something in her sleep. She looked comfortable. Peaceful.

  I pulled the blanket up, so that it covered her to the shoulders. Kezia had worked through so many of her issues, but I didn’t want to push it. I thought she’d be fine if Zander or one of my sisters walked into our room, and she wasn’t completely covered. Verin, on the other hand . . . we hadn’t known him long, and the only person in the house that felt completely comfortable around him was Juniper. Something I still tried not to worry too much about.