Montana Hearts

by Charlotte Carter

  A flush heated her face. “Next time I plan to hold on much tighter.”

  “Just don’t pull on the reins so hard. Peaches thought you wanted her to back up.”

  “Not likely. I was having enough trouble going forward.” She eyed his rifle again. “Are you planning to shoot something?”

  “You hear the wolves howling last night?”

  She nodded. The memory of the eerie, compelling call of the pack still had the power to send gooseflesh down her back.

  “I thought they were after my cattle, but there was no sign of them.”

  Relieved the wolves had not hurt his cattle, she picked up the plate and glass she’d used for lunch, and scooped up the shopping bag.

  “I’d better get on with my chores. Thank you again for the hat and gloves.”

  “You needed them.” He waved off her thanks.

  She headed inside and stopped at the door. “Beth would like to go to church with me in the morning. Would that be all right with you?”

  His eyes narrowed. “Was that your idea?”

  “No. I didn’t prompt her, if that’s what you’re thinking. She asked on her own.”

  Silent, he lowered his rifle, barrel down. “I guess she’s old enough to decide for herself about going to church. If that’s what she wants…”

  He turned and walked down the steps, setting out for the barn.

  Sarah shuddered as a cold wave of regret swept through her. She wondered if he’d ever make his way back to the Lord again.

  Attendance seemed light at Good Shepherd the next morning when Sarah and Beth arrived. Beth looked particularly sweet dressed in a sundress and wearing a hint of lip gloss.

  Beth spotted her friend, Caroline Buttons, and her parents, sitting in a pew in the middle of the church. She slid into the pew next to Caroline, a dark-haired girl her own age, and Sarah followed Beth into the pew. The girls giggled and Beth made hushed introductions.

  As the organist played a soft prelude, Sarah sat back and focused on the wooden cross mounted on the wall behind the pulpit. A sense of peace settled over her. Meeting Beth’s friend and her parents gave Sarah a feeling of acceptance. She reached out to the Lord in thanksgiving and gratitude. If she could lead Beth back to the church perhaps, in time, Kurt would follow.

  Pastor Hoffman walked out onto the stage and the congregation rose for his opening prayer and the service began.

  Later, when the service ended, Sarah led the way to the aisle, joining the departing parishioners.

  Alexis Hoffman caught up Sarah outside. “I must tell you, young lady, you and your Dr. Zoom are the absolute talk of the hospital. The pediatric nurses are trying to bribe me so you’ll come visit the children every day.”

  Sarah laughed, pleased her efforts had been well received. “I’m afraid Dr. Zoom would run out of silly jokes if I dragged him to the hospital that often. But I do plan to return again next Friday.”

  “I certainly hope so. And this time you’re likely to draw an audience of doctors and nurses as well as the children in the unit.”

  “In that case, I’ll plan to bring extra face paint,” Sarah said with a smile.

  An elderly woman approached Alexis, wanting to talk with her. Sarah excused herself and looked around for Beth.

  Somewhat to her surprise, Beth and Caroline were standing near the edge of the parking lot talking with two boys. The girls were giggling, fluffing their hair self-consciously and doing those things girls do to attract the attention of the opposite sex. Behaviors that Sarah had never mastered as a teenager and still hadn’t acquired.

  Her eyebrows rose. Perhaps Beth’s motive for attending church had more to do with those boys than learning the gospel message.

  She strolled toward the young people. “Beth, are you ready to go?”

  The girl turned, her face flushed. “Yeah. I guess.”

  “See you later, Loopy-Lizzy,” one of the boys teased.

  Beth grimace, but Sarah suspected it was in mock protest of the nickname he’d called her.

  Once they were in the car, Sarah pulled out of the parking lot onto Main Street.

  “Are those boys in your class at school?” she asked casually.

  “No, they’re a year ahead of Caroline and me. They’re real dorks.”

  “Really? It looked to me like that taller boy, the one who called you Loopy-Lizzy, might like you.” She glanced toward Beth, whose face had turned bright red.

  “I dunno,” she mumbled, making it a point to look out the passenger-side window.

  Sarah smiled to herself. If Kurt hadn’t talked to Beth about boys and dating, she thought he’d better soon. His little girl was growing up fast.

  As she pulled into the driveway at home, Kurt was loading an ice chest in the back of his pickup.

  “Hurry up and change clothes, ladies,” he said as they got out of the car. “We’re going on a picnic.”

  “Really?” Beth squealed. “We haven’t gone on a picnic in forever!” She raced into the house.

  Sarah moved more slowly. “You’re a man of many surprises.”

  “I am, huh?” His spirits seemed high and he looked quite pleased with himself. “I figured it’s time that we did more family stuff together. So I made some sandwiches and there’re cold sodas in the ice chest. Cookies, chips, even some healthy fruit just for you.”

  “I’m impressed.” And pleased he’d included her in a family outing.

  “There’s a place not too far from here where we always used to go. It’s right on a creek, big ol’ shade trees, and it has a nice, private swimming hole. So bring your swimsuit if you brought one along.”

  “No, I’m afraid that’s something I didn’t think to pack.” She choked and shook her head. She hadn’t owned a swimsuit in years. Which was just as well since she’d never learned to swim. She had no intention of baring her nine-inch surgery scar for all too see.

  “You can always roll up your pants and go wading, I guess.”

  Toby stepped out of the house carrying a beach towel and his iPod. “Hey, I thought we were gonna ride horses to our picnic place.”

  “Not this time, son. I don’t think Sarah’s ready for that long a horseback ride just yet. We’ll take the truck.”

  For that, Sarah was ever so grateful.

  Bouncing along in a pickup truck across the open prairie wasn’t exactly Sarah’s idea of comfortable transportation, but Kurt had been right about the picnic spot he’d chosen. Cottonwood trees stretched out to meet their neighbors across a creek that rushed by, the water so clear Sarah could see the rocky bottom. In the shade, a slight breeze cooled the air and fluttered the leaves on the trees.

  Kurt had spread an old quilt on the ground, though Toby and Beth had no interest in sitting down. They were already splashing in a nearby pool of crystalline water despite the fact that they claimed it was freezing cold.

  Stretched out on the quilt, Kurt braced himself on his elbows. “During the spring thaw, the creek rises up its banks and sometimes overflows. By September, if we don’t get some decent rain, this will only be a trickle.”

  “It’s a beautiful spot, though.” Sitting with her legs beneath her on the quilt, Sarah admired both the countryside and Kurt’s strong profile. He looked more relaxed at this moment than he had since she’d met him.

  “My dad used to bring us out here, me and my brother and mom.”

  “You mentioned your brother the day I came to the ranch.”

  “Hmm, Ralph. Two years older than me. He lives in Denver with his wife and a couple of kids a little older than Beth and Toby. They visit once in a while.”

  “I’m surprised as the older brother he didn’t stay on the ranch.”

  “Nope. He’s a stockbroker. His wife, Terri, doesn’t want anything to do with ranching.”

  That struck Sarah as sad. Living here in the middle of such wide-open spaces made her feel especially connected to the wonders of nature and the Lord’s creations.

  “Guess you’ve al
ready figured out living on a ranch is a lot different than living in the city,” he said.

  “Different, yes. But that doesn’t make it better or worse. Though it does take some getting used to the thought of sitting on the back of an eight-hundred pound animal instead of riding in a nice, comfortable car is a stretch for me.”

  He chuckled, a deep sound that vibrated through his chest and found a matching response in her heart.

  Watching the children playing in the water and listening to their laughter, they sat in silence for a time. The buzz of insects accompanied the click of leaves brushing together in the cottonwood trees. Overhead, a hawk circled in an updraft. On the far side of the creek, a gust of wind rippled the grass creating a golden wave across the landscape.

  “Beth and her friend Caroline found a couple of boys to talk to after church this morning,” she told him.

  He lay all the way down, tucking his hands behind his head so he could look up through the tree branches to the blue sky. “Yeah?”

  “She’s growing up fast, Kurt. Have you talked to her yet about boys and dating?”

  He bolted to a sitting position. “Was she doing something with those guys? Who were they?”

  His horrified expression nearly made her laugh. “Shh, calm down. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. But one of the boys did seem interested in her, and I think she may be interested in him.”

  “She can’t date yet. She’s only twelve. Seventh grade.”

  “Almost thirteen, as I recall. The boys were a little older. It would be better to talk to her now instead of waiting until—”

  “I can’t talk to her about boy-and-girl stuff.” He glanced toward his children. “I’d get all tongue-tied. Why don’t you talk to her? She’d listen to you.”

  His suggestion stunned Sarah. “It’s not my place to talk to her, Kurt. For one thing, I’m only here until school starts. She’s going to need to have more than one conversation on the topic. And for the other…” A lump formed in her throat and an ache filled her chest. She had to look away. “I’m not her mother.”

  When she looked back, Kurt was staring at her intently with an unreadable expression on his face. His golden-brown eyes had turned nearly to black.

  The intensity of his demeanor, the look in his eyes, created a hunger in her she’d never before experienced.

  A hunger that had nothing to do with going on a picnic.

  He held her gaze for a moment longer, then glanced away. “I think I’ll go cool off.” He pulled off his boots and socks. Standing, he stripped off his shirt, jogged toward the swimming hole and did a cannonball right between his two children.

  Beth screamed. Toby laughed.

  Surfacing from the bottom of the creek, Kurt came up sputtering. “Man, this is cold!”

  Sarah smiled at his antics. It was good to see Kurt playing with his children. Good for them and for Kurt.

  So why did she feel a strange emptiness somewhere near her heart?

  By midafternoon, the children had had enough swimming and enough sun. They packed up the remnants of the lunch Kurt had prepared and drove back to the ranch house.

  “Hey,” Toby said from the cramped backseat of the truck’s extended cab. “Isn’t that Nana’s car in the driveway?”

  Sarah glanced at Kurt. “I hope there isn’t anything wrong.”

  He shook his head. “With Nana Grace, you never know.”

  As Kurt parked near the barn, Grace stepped out of the house and waved.

  “Hello, you people,” she said. “I wondered where you had gotten to.”

  Sarah got out the of the truck cab and Toby tumbled after her.

  “We went on a picnic,” Toby said. “Out at the ol’ swimming hole. Dad did a cannonball and practically drowned Beth.”

  “He did not drown me,” Beth said.

  Holding her hands together as if in prayer, Grace said, “Wonderful! Your mother loved picnics. How nice Sarah remembered.”

  Sarah started and shook her head. “I had no idea—”

  “Well, come on in, children.” Grace beckoned them inside. “I’ve a special treat for you. You’ll see. It’s in the freezer.”

  Nonplussed that Grace thought she had remembered something of Zoe’s past, Sarah turned to Kurt. “I think your mother-in-law is having some sort of a nervous breakdown. She’s confusing me with her daughter.”

  Kurt hefted the ice chest out of the back of the truck. “I’m sure it’s just wishful thinking. She’ll get past it.”

  Not confident that was the case, Sarah snared the damp towels in the truck bed and carried them into the house, dropping them off in the laundry room.

  “I stopped in town on my way here and bought some peppermint ice cream.” Grace retrieved a gallon container from the freezer. “That was always Zoe’s favorite flavor. I thought you’d all enjoy the special treat.” She busied herself getting out bowls and spoons, then scooped generous servings of the ice cream into bowls.

  Grace’s strange behavior raised the hair on the back of Sarah’s neck. “Just a spoonful for me, Grace.”

  “Don’t be silly, child. You love peppermint ice cream.” She held out two bowls of ice cream to Sarah.

  “Now, everyone sit down at the table. We’ll have a nice chat. I have another surprise for you.”

  For a moment, Sarah froze with the two bowls of ice cream in her hands. “Grace, I’ve never tasted peppermint ice cream.”

  “You’ll love what else I brought for you to see,” Grace said, ignoring Sarah’s comment. “It’s Zoe’s scrapbook, from when she was a tiny baby all through high school.”

  Kurt tried to intervene. “Nana, the ice cream’s great, but I don’t think Sarah wants to look at Zoe’s scrapbook.”

  “I do. I love looking at Mom’s baby pictures.” Beth picked up a couple of servings of ice cream, carried them to the table and plopped herself down at her place. She shoved the second bowl in Toby’s direction.

  Reluctantly, Sarah sat down at the table. Almost immediately Grace sat down between her and Beth and produced the scrapbook.

  “Maybe we should wait until after we eat the ice cream,” Sarah suggested. “I know the scrapbook is precious to you, Grace, and I wouldn’t want anything to spill on it.”

  “Oh, you’re always careful, dear,” Grace blithely said.

  Opening the brown faux leather scrapbook to Zoe’s first baby pictures, Grace began a monologue that covered every high point in her only child’s life. She rarely took a bite of ice cream, far more engrossed in her daughter’s past than the present.

  Beth—and sometimes even Toby—seemed to eat up the stories, some of which they’d probably heard before.

  What troubled Sarah was Grace’s apparent mental confusion. Several times she asked if Sarah remembered a particular incident then shrugged off her denials.

  Even Beth looked at her occasionally as though Grace were talking about Sarah, not her deceased mother.

  Only Kurt, who frowned or shook his head occasionally, seemed to share Sarah’s concern about his mother-in-law’s behavior.

  While it was good for the children to learn about their mother’s life, Grace appeared to be creating a fantasy world where Zoe still lived, or a part of her did, in the heart that now beat in Sarah’s chest.

  For everyone, mentally and emotionally, that was an unhealthy fairy tale.

  Chapter Ten

  The next several days were surreal.

  One afternoon, Nana brought a batch of snicker doodles she’d baked to the house, Zoe’s “favorite” cookie. After a shopping trip to Shelby with a friend, she brought Sarah a turquoise tank top with a scalloped, scooped neckline.

  “Zoe always looked good in turquoise,” Grace said with a large dose of nostalgia. “I thought you might like something cool to wear on these warm days.”

  The brushed cotton fabric felt soft in Sarah’s hands; the style was impossible for her to wear.

  “It’s very thoughtful of you to think of me.” She handed th
e top back to Grace. “I really don’t wear tank tops.”

  Grace’s eyes widened in surprise. “Why on earth not? You have a lovely figure and the color is perfect for you.”

  Sarah took Grace’s hand. “Look at me, Grace. You know I had major surgery, a heart transplant. I have a scar from my breastbone to my belly button. I’d be embarrassed to wear something that showed my scar.”

  Her eyes blinked a half-dozen times in rapid succession. “Yes, of course, what was I thinking?”

  “You were thinking of your daughter. I’m not your daughter. I’m Sarah Barkley from Seattle. You know that, don’t you?”

  Grace withdrew her hand and stood up to her full five feet three inches. “Of course I know that. Whatever you may think of me, I’m not a ninny.” She whirled and marched out of the house, her back as straight as a fence post.

  Sighing, Sarah went back to folding the clothes that she’d taken out of the dryer. She hadn’t handled that very well. But she desperately wanted Grace to face reality. Her daughter, the daughter she had loved and raised, was dead.

  Zoe was never coming back.

  Grace wasn’t the only person who’d been acting strangely this week. Since the picnic, there’d been something different about Kurt.

  Any number of times, Sarah had caught him looking at her with a singular glint in his eye. Masculine interest? Or curiosity? She couldn’t tell.

  In either case, the glances he’d sent in her direction had unnerved her. Once she’d even dropped a glass on the kitchen floor. He’d hurried to help her pick up the broken shards of glass, giving her another her one of those looks.

  She’d been left breathless and with a bad case of palpitations that had nothing to do with heart failure.

  The night before the county hearing on the Western Region Cattle Feeding permit, Kurt sat at his desk, so frustrated with his computer he was ready to throw it out the window.

  He gritted his teeth and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. Ever since the picnic, he hadn’t been able to concentrate. The image of Sarah kept popping into his mind—the way her silky hair skimmed her chin, the soft curve of her lips, the sparkle in her eyes when something amused her.