The Amish

by Donald B. Kraybill

  Likewise, the growth of nonfarm employment in Amish society will, in time, reorder gender and social relationships. Some scholars assert that the traditional Amish farm family is “the prototype of the pre-industrial capitalist family” in which women’s work in the home, essential to the economic well-being of the family, is seen as a calling and gives her prestige. With the spread of nonfarm work, however, even women’s decision-making power within the community may decline as the financial base changes.43 On the other hand, Amish women who have more disposable income from their own small businesses may exert new forms of influence in their community.

  Amish men and women work side by side preparing food for a benefit sale. Women do the bulk of cooking in their homes, but men sometimes assist with large community dinners. Dennis Hughes

  Outside employment and entrepreneurship weaken the kind of marital partnership fostered by farming. Whereas husbands and wives almost always hold joint legal ownership of farmland, when a husband starts a business, his wife is rarely a co-owner.44 And when either spouse receives a regular wage, it disrupts the balance of power found in farm partnerships in which the monthly milk check, the seasonal produce sales, or the annual tobacco check symbolize the productive effort of the entire family.

  A major development since 1980 is the growing number of women who own and operate small businesses—roadside produce stands, quilt shops, market stands, bookstores, fabric shops, greenhouses, and the like. These ventures have given greater voice and agency as well as financial muscle to women. We explore this shift in our discussion of the rise of business in chapter 16.

  Some of the marks of individuation in modern societies include the choice of marriage partners, the option of divorce, the choice to remain single or to be childless, and a blurring of male and female occupational roles. The Amish have fervently resisted all of these trends. Couples must marry within the church and marry for life, and they are expected to have children. Very few married women, even those owning businesses, work away from home full time while their children are young.

  Yet economic and occupational change is slowly creating ever more diversity in the Amish world. While more traditional groups endorse the complementary roles of men and women working together on the family farm, affiliations that are more open to change permit men greater occupational options, offer women more opportunity to work outside the home, and allow couples to exercise more control over the number of children they conceive.

  The construction of gender and family in Amish society is clearly more complicated than the term patriarchy suggests. As members of the Gmay, men and women promise to yield their lives to God and accept their gendered roles when they choose to be baptized. To embrace Gelassenheit—to trust in God completely—levels men and women yet recognizes specific gender obligations in ways that promote family stability and the well-being of others over self-will and individual achievement.

  Traditional gender expectations, the power of extended families, the importance of lifelong marriage, the rejection of divorce, the taboo on extramarital, premarital, and homosexual sexual activity, the high value bestowed on childbearing, and the overwhelming priority of family commitments over personal careers—all demonstrate the staunch Amish resistance to the transformation of gender roles and marital patterns that occurred in twentieth-century America. Nevertheless, modest adaptations of traditional gender and family roles show that Amish society is not completely cordoned off from the advances of modernity. The behavior of some youth during Rumspringa, the topic of chapter 12, offers even more evidence of that fact.

  CHAPTER 12

  FROM RUMSPRINGA TO MARRIAGE

  * * *

  On June 24, 1998, federal agents arrested two Amish-raised young men in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, and charged them with intent to distribute cocaine for a drug ring tied to the Pagans motorcycle gang in Philadelphia. Within hours, the event was a major news story far from the local police blotter. From the New York Times to Australian Broadcasting and hundreds of points in between, the story received extensive coverage. Eventually the indicted young men were each sentenced to a year in prison. But before they began their jail time, both requested baptism and joined the Amish church, taking a step their parents had long wished for.

  * * *

  Myths and Reality

  Linked to black-jacketed bikers and illicit drugs, the drug bust story piqued public curiosity and revealed to outsiders a surprising aspect of Amish life: teenagers are allowed some autonomy before joining the church as young adults. The Amish call this period Rumspringa, literally translated as “running around” but best understood as the time when youth socialize with their peers. Few Americans had ever heard the word before the drug story broke, but in the weeks and years that followed, Rumspringa became one of the most recognized aspects of Amish life, both real and mythologized.

  The notion that a traditional group trying to avoid a modern world teeming with temptation would allow its youth to explore that very world captured the American imagination. How could a separatist church be so tolerant of the exploits of its youth? One political philosopher even pondered why an illiberal group like the Amish had developed such a liberal policy of membership.1 Stern indoctrination, if not brainwashing, was what many outsiders expected to find in Amish life—not choice, not freedom, and certainly not drugs.

  This baffling paradox prompted numerous journalistic and artistic ventures. For example, filmmaker Lucy Walker found four Amish teens willing to describe their wild, drug-laced parties on camera. Devil’s Playground, Walker’s 2002 documentary, featured the wildest of the wild in Rumspringa. In 2004, UPN’s reality series Amish in the City turned its lens on Rumspringa with six episodes showing Amish youth interacting with urban teens in a California beach house.2 Several television series, including ER and Judging Amy, focused on Rumspringa, as did an Oprah Winfrey show. For several months in 2009, a dark comedy-drama entitled Rumspringa played off Broadway, and within a year, interest in Rumspringa had spread to England, as British TV broadcast The World’s Squarest Teenagers. In 2012, TLC’s nine-episode reality series Breaking Amish followed four young Amish adults and one Mennonite “in their pursuit to chase big dreams in the Big Apple.”3

  Rumspringa is much more nuanced and varied than these media productions suggest, however.4 Teens do enjoy a measure of freedom before settling down, being baptized, getting married, and becoming adult members of the community. During this time they face the two most crucial decisions of their lives: whether to join the church, and if and whom to marry.

  Rumspringa, an exciting adventure and at times a period of inner turmoil, commences at age sixteen—or seventeen in more traditional groups—and continues until marriage. It is a time when die Youngie, or “young folks,” socialize with their Amish peers. With few exceptions, young adolescents eagerly count the days until they are old enough to join the young folks. In some communities, a boy receives his first carriage so he can drive to youth activities alone. Most important, courtship begins during Rumspringa, as youth embark on a social life in which their peer group plays a new and dominant role. Because popular media and programs like Devil’s Playground and Amish in the City have created and perpetrated a number of untruths and half-truths, we examine both the myths and the realities they often obscure.

  Myth One: Amish youth are breaking church regulations. In fact, although they have been immersed in Amish culture and have worn the distinctive garb of their community since birth, they are not church members—and thus are not required to submit to church regulations—until they choose baptism. Rumspringa is an ambiguous time, a liminal period when youth are betwixt and between the supervision of their parents and the authority of the church.5

  Myth Two: Parents encourage their children to explore the outside world.6 Some pundits say that the church has established a cultural “time out” for that purpose, but that is simply false. As an Amish woman in southwestern Michigan explains, “Rumspringa, the way people talk about it,
is a lie. What group of parents that love their children would say, ‘Go out and do whatever you want and then decide whether you want to be like we raised you’?” It is true that Rumspringa is a rite of passage that starts at about sixteen years of age when youth begin to socialize with their friends on weekends. It is also true that parents in certain communities tolerate more rowdiness on the road to adulthood than do some other parents. But no Amish church ever designed a tradition to encourage its youth to explore the larger world, nor does any church urge them to imbibe popular culture. Some parents dread the time and pray diligently that their offspring will not make foolish choices that could hound them forever.

  Myth Three: Rumspringa-age youth leave home and live in cities for a few years. In fact, virtually all unbaptized Amish teens continue living at home and spend their Rumspringa years under their parents’ roof. The only thing that changes after they join the Youngie is that their social life becomes more independent from that of their family. Although living and often working at home, they are now able to keep their peer-based activities somewhat private.

  Myth Four: Youth who break church rules during Rumspringa are shunned for life. On the contrary, parents may punish deviant youth, but the church only has authority to excommunicate and shun baptized members who violate regulations. Un-baptized youth who run away or are rebellious may be labeled “yankovers” or “jerk-overs” and severely scorned and ostracized by their family and community, especially in the more traditional groups, but the church does not and cannot shun them.

  Myth Five: Rumspringa is all about deciding whether or not to be Amish. For a few youth this is true, but as one Amish father said, “The main purpose of Rumspringa is courtship; it’s a time to find a mate.” The decision to join the church becomes an existential crisis for a few, but the overwhelming majority of youth expect to join the church and do not struggle with the decision. Youth in higher groups grapple more with the choice—especially if it involves giving up cars, televisions, or other possessions—than youth in lower affiliations.

  Myth Six: Rumspringa ends with baptism. In fact, Rumspringa ends with marriage, which signals adulthood. This is when boys become men and girls women in Amish culture. For some, marriage comes shortly after baptism; others begin dating after baptism, and still others date both before and after baptism. The unmarried may run around with the Rumspringa “boys and girls” until their early thirties. Two twenty-six-year-old “girls” in one community “still go with die Youngie,” according to one man. “As they get older they go to [Sunday evening] singings more sporadically and then stop going. It’s an individual choice.” Unmarried baptized youth who violate church regulations while still running around will face church discipline like any other church member.

  A young Amish man who plays on a baseball team in a local civic league changes into his uniform shirt under the back lid of his buggy. During Rumspringa, some youth engage in activities that are unacceptable for adult church members. Dennis Hughes

  Myth Seven: Rumspringa is similar in all Amish communities. In fact, the type of Rumspringa activities varies among settlements and even within an individual settlement. The degree of parental oversight and involvement with youth activities as well as the amount of contact young people have with mainstream culture is quite uneven. In some communities Rumspringa activities take place in homes under watchful adult eyes. In large settlements, where the number of Rumspringa-age youth may surpass a thousand, and in communities adjacent to urban areas, “running around” may involve peers whom parents do not know and activities that are worldlier.

  To make sweeping generalizations about Rumspringa is simply hazardous. An Amish leader in Canada, referring to wild Rumspringa parties, wrote, “We know nothing of such a practice in the thirty-five church districts in Ontario. Nor is it known in many Amish settlements elsewhere.”7 Sensational media accounts imply that all Amish youth experiment with drugs, engage in premarital sex, and flock to drinking parties. Some youth do these things, but most do not. In many communities, there are no wild parties; instead, youth gather to sing German hymns on Sunday nights, and rarely is there mischief worthy of a headline. In other communities, some youth own cars, hit the party scene, and give their parents anxious nights. In still others, teens ride in buggies, play volleyball, and hit hockey pucks on local ponds. Rumspringa comes in many forms and is shaped by local tradition, community size, family reputation, and the church-community’s values.

  Singings

  Sunday evening singings are the most common and oldest youth activities, dating back to the nineteenth century or even earlier.8 Traditionally, singings were held in the home that hosted the church service earlier that day. More recently in many places, singings are hosted by another family in the church district.9 In some areas, the gathering—held in a home, barn, shop, or outdoors in pleasant weather—is preceded by volleyball, card or table games, and a meal or picnic, depending on the season and local custom. Singings are a prime youth activity across all communities, but the format and practices vary.

  Regardless of the details, the Sunday evening singing is the big event of the week for most youth. For some it is more about fraternizing, courtship, and fun than singing. The Youngie learn to know each other and develop their social skills as well as their identities during the pre- and post-singing banter.

  Teens often share a carriage ride to the singings with their siblings, friends, or a neighbor. In some communities, dating couples may arrive together, while some unattached boys—hoping to escort a girl home—come alone. The size of the group varies from twenty to two hundred, depending on the settlement. The singing, which may last for one and a half to three hours, begins with religious songs in German. In less traditional communities, the group usually switches to faster tunes, including English gospel songs. Typically, the host family serves water midway through the evening, and a light snack and beverages at the end.

  There is no moderator or song leader. Youth call out the page number of a hymn or just begin leading it, since the words and tunes of hymns are well known. In some groups, the girls may do most of the singing while the boys listen, joke, or tease one another. In certain settlements, boys stay outside to smoke and drink beer some of the time. The singing may conclude with birthday songs or a thank-you song for the host family.

  Informal visiting, inside or outside, often stretches for an hour or longer after the singing ends. This is also the time when rowdy groups might engage in mischief of one type or another. Considerable speculation focuses on who will ride home with whom—signaling the beginning or end of a romance. One Amish person who attended a singing after a wedding season joked that the local young people were “bravely going on after losing nine couples to Cupid’s arrows” in recent months.10

  While singings are the central ritual of Rumspringa for the most conservative groups, in more progressive communities they are only one of many social activities. In some settlements youth socialize at sporting events such as hockey, volleyball, and softball games as much, if not more, than at singings.

  “Gangs”

  Although the Amish sometimes use the English words crowds or gangs to refer to the Youngie, these youth groups should not to be confused with violent street gangs. There were few Amish gangs before the mid-twentieth century. Distinct groups emerged as settlements grew larger and the abundant number of youth could not all gather in one place. The structure of the groups varies greatly, resulting in many different versions of Rumspringa.

  Small affiliations with only a few church districts may have just one crowd that includes all their youth. In sharp contrast, large settlements may have two or three dozen groups with a hundred or so members in each. Such gangs typically attract youth from many different Gmays. In settlements with many groups, teens select one by simply showing up for an activity. Some switch groups, but more typically they stay with the same gang until they marry. In the Lancaster settlement, young men and women who join a crowd in the same year form a “bud
dy bunch,” segregated by gender. These clusters may simply hang out, or they may hold their own events apart from those organized by the full group.

  Psychologist Richard Stevick distinguishes between peer-centered and adult-centered gangs.11 Those in smaller communities tend to be adult-centered because, with only a few groups, parents usually know what their offspring are doing, which makes it difficult to hide deviant behavior. In some communities, parents chaperone youth events fairly closely. Groups in large settlements that cover a big area typically are peer-centered, and their anonymity helps the Youngie evade parental oversight. The most notorious parties, as well as drug and alcohol abuse, almost always occur in the larger settlements.12 Members of some peer-based gangs buy cameras, radios, DVD players, televisions, or even cars, and then store them at the homes of non-Amish neighbors or in a clubhouse rented by their group.13 Small clusters of friends may take long-distance trips to go snow or water skiing, fishing, big game hunting, or snowmobiling. The number, size, and type of parties range from small nonalcoholic ones featuring volleyball games to large gatherings with hired bands and alcohol that draw several hundred people from several states. Some of the parties get quite rowdy. A twenty-five-year-old woman who abandoned Amish life lamented, “Once I turned sixteen, you partied, you drank, you got drunk, and you woke up the next morning and you thought, ‘Gosh, what did I do last night?’”14

  Volleyball is the sport of choice for many Amish young people. At some youth gatherings, a dozen teams play at the same time. The various styles of dress and headgear reflect the different church affiliations of the players in this particular game. Doyle Yoder