I wildly shook my head no, hoping that Alyssa was looking my way.
“Be still.” Mom tsked, trying to listen to Jane.
“Maybe she bumped her hp or something on the edge—”
A container of yogurt floated out of the refrigerator and over to the counter.
“—and Molly’s tooth popped right out and hit Plunker smack on the head—”
The cutlery drawer opened and a spoon flew into the air. It looked like we were haunted! Alyssa was completely nuts, and this proved it. How long could my mother not notice a ghost in her kitchen? But it took me another second to realize what was really wrong with this picture.
“Oh, no!” I gasped.
Jane and my mother looked at me.
“Tell what happened next, Jane. I’m just going to get some more juice.” I dropped the greasy pizza napkin on my chair seat and scurried into the kitchen.
“Ssst!” I snatched the spoon in midair.
“I’m hungry,” whispered Alyssa, fighting me for the spoon. “I told you that.”
“That’s not supposed to happen!” I whispered back. “If you’re holding something, it’s supposed to be invisible, too!”
“So?”
“So, you didn’t notice that you’re performing magical acts of levitation while my mother is sitting right there? Something’s wrong!”
Maybe the powder was wearing off! Could that happen? What if Alyssa suddenly reappeared? Or worse, what if part of Alyssa suddenly reappeared?
The cutlery drawer opened again, hitting my hip. Another spoon flew up and tapped me on the nose.
“Stop it, Alyssa!”
“Billie?” said my mother. “Is something wrong?”
“I had a spill,” I called. “I’m cleaning it up. I’m scolding myself so you won’t have to. In fact—” I suddenly realized the best way to get rid of my mother. “In fact, why don’t you take the night off, Mom?” I poked my head through the doorway. “Jane and I will do the dishes before we watch our video.”
“But I don’t want to do—” Jane started.
“Why, thank you, Billie. That’s a lovely offer.” She gave me her warmest mommy smile. “You really are a wonderful kid, when you put your mind to it.”
“Aren’t I a wonderful kid, too?” whined Jane.
“Of course you are, honey. Now go help your sister.” She got up from the table just as Harry slid the pizza bundle off my chair. I held my breath. “I’ve only got two more chapters in my book, so I’ll be enjoying a cozy read in my room.”
Harry could have his prize in peace.
I took a breath when Mom’s door closed. “I have to call Jody right away,” I announced. “Jane, you sponge off the table. And put the pizza box into the recycling bin,” I added while I dialed Jody’s number.
“But there’s a piece left.”
Jody’s line was busy, so I hung up.
“Are you still hungry?” I asked Alyssa, opening the box on the counter.
“You bet,” said Alyssa. The slice wobbled out of the box and hovered in space. I watched in astonishment as it shrank, bite by bite.
“It’s magic!” said Jane. She clasped her hands together in front of her. “You’re doing magic!”
“What if you start coming back in pieces?” I spoke my worry aloud. “What if your zazzy hairstyle starts floating around by itself? Talk about scary!”
“Very funny,” said Alyssa. “Is there any more food?”
I put popcorn in the microwave and pushed start.
“You’re not doing any work,” complained Jane.
“I’m making dessert. Maybe Alyssa will do the dishes.”
“Very funny,” said Alyssa. “I already scrubbed your mother’s tables this morning. Just because I’m wearing rubber gloves doesn’t make me the maid.”
“You’re wearing the gloves? The gloves from detention?” It was like a beam of sunshine breaking through the ceiling of the loft! “It’s the gloves! Oh, thank goodness! It’s the gloves! Wait’ll Jody hears about this!”
I dialed Jody’s number again, and this time it rang.
“Hello?”
I remembered her mother’s musical voice with relief. At least Jody hadn’t moved.
“Oh, hello, Mrs. Greengard. This is Billie Stoner calling. May I please speak to Jody?”
“Why, certainly, dear.” It sounded like somebody practicing scales on a flute. “One moment, please.”
I could hear her calling for Jody, and then she came back on.
“Can she call you in a few minutes, dear? She seems to be in the middle of one of her little experiments.”
“Could you please tell her it’s very important? In fact, could you tell her it’s an urgent emergency?”
“Ooh, that does sound exciting,” said Mrs. Greengard, as if we were sharing an adventure.
I hung up as the drumming inside the microwave dwindled to hiccups. I dumped the popcorn into the yellow bowl.
“Watch this!” said Alyssa.
A piece of popcorn floated up from the bowl, double-somersaulted in the air, and then— poof!—disappeared. Alyssa chewed noisily to show us where it had gone.
Jane shrieked and clapped, jumping up and down.
Alyssa grabbed fistfuls of popcorn and punched the air a few times before making them burst apart like fireworks and scatter onto the floor.
“That is pretty cool!” I had to admit. Suddenly I wished I were invisible, too. I wanted to do tricks and run the show. “Alyssa! How about I pretend to be making it happen! Like a wizard.”
I put on a trance face and deepened my voice. “Lowly Popcorn!” I growled. “I Command you to come Hither unto the Teeth of Doom!” I snapped my jaws. A single kernel trembled forward and ended its life in my mouth. Another piece followed slowly.
“Make it go the other way,” suggested Jane. She was rocking back and forth with excitement.
“Think you can catch, Alyssa?”
“I’ll try.”
I threw the kernel into the air, and it hit the ground.
“I missed. Do it again.”
This time I tossed higher but softer. On its downward plunge, the popcorn vanished— poof!—into thin air. We all applauded, and I tried throwing another. And then another. We kept throwing and laughing, and the thought flitted through my head that I was having fun. With Alyssa.
The phone rang.
I grabbed it. “Jody?”
“No, dear. This is Patsy Morgan, Alyssa’s mother.”
16 • Phone Frenzy
Oh,” I choked. “Hello, Ms. Morgan.”
“Who’s on the phone?” called my mother.
“It’s for me, Mom!” I shouted, my palm over the receiver.
“Alyssa!” I hissed. “Where are you? It’s your mother!”
A flurry of popcorn fell to the ground.
“What do I do?” she whispered.
“Talk to her, I guess.”
Alyssa took the receiver, and it hung in midair, dancing a little. I began praying that my mother’s book was a really good one, with really long chapters.
“Hello? Oh, hi, Mom. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay, that’s fine. See you.” The receiver clattered back into place.
“What did she want?” I asked.
“If she wanted you to know, I guess she would have told you.”
The phone rang again. The receiver jumped into the air and dangled there by itself. Alyssa had answered our phone!
“Hello?” we heard her say.
“Who’s on the phone?” called my mother.
“It’s for me, Mom!” I shouted. “Who is it?” I asked Alyssa.
“Oh, hello, J. P.” Alyssa practically whinnied. “No, this isn’t Billie. Can you guess who it is?”
Jean-Pierre? Phoning me? Hubert’s the only boy who’d ever called me before.
“Alyssa! Give me that!”
But she was too busy gurgling.
“You got it in one! I’m flattered! What do you want to talk to Billie about?”
“Alyssa! Give me the phone!”
“She’s busy right now. She wants me to take a message.”
“I do not! Let me speak to him!” I lunged in her direction, but she must have ducked sideways. The receiver dipped to the floor, and I grabbed air before crashing into the refrigerator.
“Teasing is not nice, Alyssa,” said Jane, crossing her arms across her chest. “You should let Billie talk.”
“Okay, I’ll tell her.” Alyssa giggled. The telephone was making an orbit around Jane.
The telephone’s cradle sits on the counter. I reached over and clicked the button a couple of times.
“Oops!” said Alyssa. “Gotta go!” She slammed down the phone.
“What did he say?” I asked, hoping I was threatening the right corner of the room. “You better tell me every word he—”
“Kids!”
We froze. My mother was suddenly in the kitchen with us, making things very crowded. She took in the litter of popcorn kernels and Harry’s trail of pizza slime on the floor.
“I thought the plan was to clean up the mess, not mess up the clean.”
“We’re sorry, Mommy,” said Jane in her sweetest little voice.
“It was my fault,” I said. “We got goofy. I’ll finish the job, I promise.”
“Well, okay,” she said. “But you better get moving or it’ll be too late to start a video. I’ve got one more chapter. Come in to say good night. And don’t forget to brush your teeth.”
My mother’s bedroom door closed.
“Alyssa?” I whispered.
She must have slipped into the bathroom behind Jane. I was itching to shake Jean-Pierre’s message out of her. Why did she have to be the one to answer? And what had he said? Well, at least I was the one he was actually calling, not her.
I was also the one who finished the dishes and swept the floor. Just as I put the broom away, Jane came bouncing out with her face still drippy.
“You should see!” she whispered. “Alyssa has the glove on while she’s brushing! The toothbrush is dancing around by itself all over the room.”
“Whose toothbrush is she using?” I asked.
“Yours.”
Yuck! I went to the bathroom door. My turquoise toothbrush was rinsing itself under the faucet.
“This makes three things you’ve stolen from me today,” I said. “Backpack, J. P.’s phone call, and toothbrush. Just so you know I’m keeping track.”
“‘Just so you know I’m keeping track,’” she echoed, in a nasty, piping whine.
“Don’t you get tired of being a brat?” I asked her.
“Don’t you get tired of being a brat?” she asked me back. “A bossy, no-fun brat?”
“Hey,” I said, feeling slapped, almost. “We just were having fun, in case you hadn’t noticed!”
The phone rang again. This time I got it myself.
“Hey, Billie!”
“Jody! Thank God! Oh, thank you for calling back!”
She was slightly out of breath. “Your line was busy. What’s up?”
“Who’s on the phone?” called my mother.
“It’s for me, Mom!” I shouted back. “I’ve got trouble,” I said to Jody, turning to check that Alyssa was still in the bathroom, out of earshot. “The worst trouble.”
I explained the situation as quickly as I could, politely not using the word thief, and not even getting to the part about the gloves before Jody interrupted me.
“Oh, this is good,” she said. “This is very good.”
“Maybe you didn’t understand,” I said. “From over here, it’s not good at all!”
“What I mean is, from a scientific point of view, this is excellent timing. I’ve been testing a new recipe, and I was just thinking how I was ready for a human subject. I’ve replaced the fungi with dog food and mushroom soup for quicker action. This is a perfect test opportunity. Can you come up to my place now?”
I thought for half a second about telling my mother I had to go uptown alone in the wintry dark of night to assemble the Miraculous Antidote to my Invisibility Powder.
“How about tomorrow morning?” I suggested.
“Well, the only thing is, my mother is having her gruesome gang of friends here for morning coffee. It’s her turn to be hostess. They get together every month to play Spite and Malice, which is a card game, believe it or not, and no way on the planet am I going to hang around here to watch my mother cheating at cards while the ladies swoon over her macaroons, which she gets from Goldberg’s Bakery anyway.”
Sounds like Alyssa, I thought.
“So what you’re saying is …?”
“So what I’m saying is, I’ll be happy to help. I’m going to take notes, if you don’t mind, and I’ll supply the ingredients. I’ve got everything— oh, except for the gum! I still have braces, like forever, so I can’t do the gum. Is that cute little Hubert available?”
“Yes,” I said, hoping it was true.
“Okay, I’ll bring the rest and meet you somewhere far from the crone-fest in my living room. Where and when?”
It was way too cold to meet on a corner. We finally agreed on the Barnes & Noble at Eighty-second and Broadway, in the kids’ section, at noon.
I hung up feeling queasy. It was a good thing I couldn’t see Alyssa, because I wouldn’t have been able to look her straight in the eye. Jody’s mention of dog food really had me worried.
17 • In the Dark
Jane fell asleep on the floor, snuggled in her sleeping bag. Above me, the bunk creaked and then creaked again as Alyssa turned over. So, she was still awake, too. Here we are, I thought—fire-breathing enemies sharing a bunk bed. In a movie it would be funny. Only it was real life, and never in a million years would I have invited Alyssa to sleep over. In fact, I was supposed to be ignoring her, according to my New Year’s resolution. But here she was, practically moving in with me! This is not what I meant when I vowed to make new friends! Jean-Pierre, on the other hand …
“Alyssa? Are you asleep?”
“No.”
“Why did Jean-Pierre call?”
There was a thump from above. I wondered if the blankets were invisible. Are things still invisible in the dark? The streetlight outside cast a glowing moon on my ceiling, but otherwise, the room was dim.
“What did he say?” I asked again.
“He wouldn’t tell me,” she said at last. “He said it was private.”
“Private? He said private?”
“Are you—you know—are you a couple with him?”
“Give me a break, Alyssa. He’s been in the school for five days!”
“Yeah. But he asked you out, right? Today, before Hubert showed up.”
“Not really.” I wasn’t sure how much she’d overheard. “He’s just got a French way of making friends, maybe.”
“Well, I’d go out with him in five seconds,” she said.
“Go where?” I asked, pretending to be dense.
“Oh, don’t be dopey. If you’re going out, it just means you talk more on the phone and stuff. Doesn’t he have the cutest accent?”
“Uh-huh.”
Maybe she wanted me to talk some more, but I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t feel so mad by now, just tired. Tired of having her around. Tired of the whole stupid situation. You’d think if someone was invisible, you’d see less of them, but Alyssa was with me more than ever.
An ambulance siren started in the distance, coming closer and closer down Broadway, turning into a wail. Hearing a siren at night always sort of scares me. It sounds so full of panic, and there’s no way to know if it gets wherever it’s going on time. I held my breath as it roared past our building and out of hearing.
“Did you like it when you were invisible?” Alyssa suddenly asked. It sounded like she was leaning over the side of the bunk. “Was it fun?”
“Yeah, it really was, at the beginning. First thing I did was scare the underpants off Hubert. I sneaked up on him in the cafeteria, and
he nearly choked on a tortellini.”
Alyssa giggled.
“Then I skipped out of school and went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was totally fun; I even went on a movie set. I went to Dean & Deluca and saw a pickpocket. Then, when I got back to school, I—” I stopped short.
I’d almost accidentally told her the highlight of being invisible, which had been getting revenge on Alyssa. She’d stolen Hubert’s topic of China for the fifth-grade class project, so I ruined her final presentation by sprinkling just enough powder over her notes to make them vanish. She got up to talk, and she had nothing to read. She couldn’t rely on her memory because she’d copied the work in the first place without paying attention. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she flubbed in front of everybody.
Now that I was thinking about it, it sounded pretty cruel. I mean, she was my enemy and everything, but maybe humiliation in public was going too far.
“Yeah? Then what?”
“Well, nothing, actually. I came back to school. Being invisible didn’t really fit in with my life, you know? It’s fun for a while, but it’s kind of inconvenient. There’s lots of stuff you can’t do.”
“So then what? How did you reappear? Really? Can I get normal tomorrow?”
Now that she was asking in a nice, ordinary way, I felt like I should tell her the truth. I mean, of course she’d want to know. I’d want to know if I were her.
“You said before, it was a scientific procedure,” said Alyssa. Her voice went low. “Does it hurt?”
She was scared.
“It doesn’t hurt,” I said. “It’s sort of a—a potion. It’s a bit disgusting, maybe, but it doesn’t hurt.”
“Oh, great. I have to drink some nasty concoction?”
I think I was afraid to tell her.
“Er, no, you don’t have to drink it.”
“Well? What then?”
I decided maybe I’d better not say after all. She’d go bananas.
“It doesn’t hurt, Alyssa, I promise you that. Jody will tell you everything tomorrow, okay? It’ll all be over tomorrow.”
“How am I supposed to sleep, not knowing?” she said. “Besides, it’s weird being in your house. We’re not exactly friends or anything, but I’m lying in your bed, depending on you for help.”
The Invisible Enemy Page 6