“Say that again.”
“Say what?”
Wow! Sure enough. A tiny cloud of steam hovered in the air for a moment.
“Wow,” I said. “I can see your breath. I didn’t notice before because I wasn’t looking in the right place, but—”
“Big fat deal,” said Alyssa, shooting more hot air into icy puffs. “What are you running away for, Billie? I told you, I’m going to follow you until you give me the cure. I’m coming to your place whether you like it or not.”
12 • Jane and Harry
It took my dog, Harry, about three seconds to figure out that something was wrong. From the moment Harry heard my key in the lock, he started to jump as if he had springs on the bottom of his paws. I teased him with my mitten as we came in the door. Boing, lick, boing, lick lick, boing. Same greeting as every day.
But then he tilted his nose and his feet stopped dead. His little body was quivering slightly and he started to bark; quick, yappy barks, as if he’d spotted a cat and wanted to pounce.
“Uh-oh,” I said. “Harry’s too smart. And he’s not too good at keeping secrets.”
“What’s bugging Harry?” called my mother from the kitchen area. “Make him shush, will you?”
I picked him up and folded his face into the crook of my arm.
“Stay right behind me,” I whispered to Alyssa. “And if you touch anything, I will tell Harry to chew off your hand!”
“Hi, Mom!” I said as I passed the kitchen and headed for the space I share with my sister, Jane. I held my breath. Alyssa was completely unreliable. I could feel her brewing behind me like a sandstorm.
“Hey! Where’s my kiss?”
Aw, Mom! My mother kissed me and patted my hair.
“How was the trip, honeybun?”
I could hear Alyssa choke back a snicker. She was seeing a different side of Stone-Face Stoner, that’s for sure.
“The bus was late coming back.” I just wanted to get to my room.
“But how was the trip?” She was putting away plates from the dish rack, not listening too closely.
“Really interesting.” If I said “really boring,” I’d get a lecture about how an intelligent person is never bored. And what if I told her the truth—that my Evil Worst Enemy had stolen my Secret Invisibility Powder and was now stalking me on home territory? “Gosh, honey-bun, I’ve always loved your imagination. Why don’t you write a story about it?” Oh, sure.
We live in a kind of house called a loft, which is like an apartment except it’s mostly one big room with only a couple of half walls and doors. This is especially inconvenient when a person wants privacy or if a person has something to hide, which usually means the same thing.
Jane was on the bottom bunk, dressing her doll, Nonnie. The top bunk is mine.
“You share a room?” said Alyssa, at a normal volume.
Jane’s eyebrows pulled together. This is what I mean by no privacy. If I was going to keep Alyssa hidden, I needed a miracle. Because Alyssa was too full of herself to be quiet. And Jane’s wily brain sticks to secrets like Velcro. Harry squirmed out of my arms and started barking again.
“Oh, shut up!” said Alyssa.
Jane looked at me with an alert shine on her face. “You did another trick, didn’t you, Billie? You vanished someone like you did with Harry.”
Her eyes flitted right and left of me and settled where Harry was sniffing, at what must have been Alyssa’s feet.
“Who’s there?” Jane commanded in a stern voice. She groped forward like she was playing blindman’s bluff. I heard Alyssa step back, her heel grinding a Playmobil doctor. Harry scampered away in alarm, whining a little.
I grabbed Jane’s wrists and looked her straight in the eye. I was torn between admiring her cleverness and wincing from the horrible pliers of panic that pinched my skull whenever the Blabbermouth bumped into news.
“Jane,” I said. “Janey-Jane-Jane. How about this: We’re going to play a game. Let’s pretend we have a visitor from, ah, the Forest of … Twinkenteenies, and she’s a powerful sorcerer and—”
“And she’s invisible!” cried Jane. Harry barked, almost like applause.
“Yeah. She’s invisible. Her name is Toady-Breath and—”
That got me a kick behind the knee.
“And she’s invisible because she’s here on a Secret Adventure, and her very life will be threatened by Dark Powers if we reveal her whereabouts.”
“And then what?”
“Oh, um, well, we better be nice to her, don’t you think? We better serve her some fairy food. Will you go get her a snack?”
“Yes, yes! I’ll get the food! I’ll get Oreos! Fairy Frog Sorcerers love Oreos!”
She zoomed to the kitchen to find a snack. Harry bounded after her, nipping at her sneakers and barking joyful yaps.
“I’m not here to play some dumb fairy game with your kid sister, Billie. I’m really tired of all this. You’ve had your bad, little joke. Would you just do your stupid magic tricks or whatever? So I can reappear and go home?”
Go home? I suddenly saw a movie fast-forwarding in my imagination. Invisible Alyssa telling her mother why she wasn’t there. Mother thinking she was hearing voices. Alyssa grabbing mother and shaking her to prove her story. Mother disappearing. Father tearing at his tufts of hair and calling the cops. Flock of cops arriving, dragging me off to jail wearing handcuffs.
“Go home?” I murmured.
Clearly, Alyssa could not go home in this condition. The full reality of our predicament washed over me. I was stuck with my invisible enemy.
13 • Cornered
What were you supposed to be doing after school today?” I asked Alyssa. “Won’t your mother be wondering where you are?”
“I usually go home on the school bus. My mother gets home from the office around six.”
“You just hang out alone?”
“Yeah, you know, I have a snack, watch TV, tell her I’m doing homework. Oh!” She sounded dismayed for a second. “I’m supposed to check in or they dock my allowance. I should phone now. Where’s your phone?”
“Jane!” I called. “Bring the phone, would you? I need to call somebody about homework.”
“You should get a phone in your room,” said Alyssa.
“No kidding,” I said.
Jane came in with a plate of cookies and graham crackers in her hands and the remote telephone receiver tucked under her chin.
“Mom’s pouring lemonade,” she said as she unloaded. “I’ll go get it. I told her three glasses, for a game.” She winked and ran back to the kitchen.
I held the phone in the air. “You better do this fast. Jane’ll be back in two minutes.”
Alyssa snatched the phone away into thin air. A moment later it reappeared on the floor.
“You’ll have to dial,” she said. “I can’t see the numbers while I’m holding the phone.”
“Oh, cripes. What’s the number?”
I dialed for her and handed it back.
“Hello? Extension number four-five-seven, please. Hello, Tina? This is Alyssa. Uh, fine, thanks. Is my mom there?”
“Who’s Tina?” I whispered.
“My mother’s secretary.”
The seconds ticked by. I heard Jane giggle in the kitchen and ice rattling out of its tray.
“Oh, hi, Mom? I’m calling because I didn’t go home on the bus today. I was invited to have a sleep-over.”
“What!” I spluttered. “You were not!”
“By Billie Stoner,” Alyssa continued, her voice as cool as cool.
I waved my hands where I thought her face must be, shaking my head back and forth. Alyssa sleep over at my house? No way!
“Uh-huh. Billie Stoner. Ms. Stoner’s daughter. Well, I know I don’t usually like … but … well, yeah, I know I told you she was …” Alyssa’s voice dropped to a mumble.
Embarrassment hovered over us. I wondered what terrible things she’d said about me to her mother. Probably the same kind
of things I’d said about her to mine.
“I’ll borrow pajamas.” Her voice was normal again. “So, it’s okay?
“Oh, let me ask.” Alyssa poked me, and my sweatshirt flickered for an instant. “When should I be picked up?”
“Now,” I said, knowing it was hopeless.
“Get real. When? When is it going to wear off?”
“Tell her you’ll call her,’” I whispered.
My heart sagged like a water balloon ready to pop. I was going to have to help her. I’d have to call Jody. I’d have to find all the ingredients for the potion. The talcum powder, the different fungi … The dog biscuits we have. I would need Hubert for the gum juice. Why did it have to be so complicated? I was going to have to—
“Mom? Can I call you again in the morning? We might do our homework.”
Of course she didn’t have to know I was going to help her. She deserved to suffer for as long as possible….
“Yes, I promise. Yes, yes, I will. Okay, g’bye. Mom.” The phone flew through the air and landed on Jane’s bed.
“I did not invite you to stay here tonight,” I said.
“Do you have any better ideas, you lamebrain?” Somehow Alyssa managed to sneer even without a face.
“You’re the last person I want as a guest, Alyssa.”
“Billie!” Jane was standing there, holding a teetering tray with three glasses. “It’s Alyssa? The Frog Fairy is Alyssa? I thought you hated Alyssa!”
“Jane!”
“I’m not deaf, you brat, only invisible,” said Alyssa.
“But how come she gets to be invisible, and I never do? I want to! When’s my turn?”
“Oh, shut up!” yelled Alyssa.
“You shut up, Alyssa!” I said.
“I’m telling Mommy!” cried Jane.
I snatched the tray of drinks from her hands before we had a disaster. I put the tray on my desk and pulled Jane onto her bed, landing with the phone under my spine. Harry was on top of us in a second, yelping with delight.
“Janey,” I whispered. “I know it doesn’t seem fair, but being invisible isn’t always a good thing. No one hugs you if they can’t see you. People say rude things about you even if you’re standing right there.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“I know, I know, I’m not mad at you. Actually, I’m mad at Alyssa for getting this way. But here’s the thing. If Mom finds out, I’ll be in so much trouble I’ll be crying for a week.”
“You will?”
She sounded intrigued instead of sympathetic. I tried to think fast. I knew it would be much safer to have Jane as a partner on this.
“If you can keep this secret,” I promised, “I will give you such a big reward you won’t believe it.”
“What will you give me?”
“It’ll be a surprise.”
“Do I get the present tomorrow?”
“When tomorrow comes and we still have a secret, we’ll talk about delivery.”
I took a deep breath before I allowed myself to say the next part out loud. “Plus, think of this: We get to have a sleep-over party, and Mom doesn’t even know!”
“Mom doesn’t even know what?” said my mother, suddenly arriving at the side of the bed.
14 • Help Wanted
We have a secret,” said Jane.
“Oh?” said my mother.
“And I’m going to keep it a secret.”
I began to exhale.
“For now, anyways,” said Jane, squinting at me.
“Forever,” I said, pinching her.
“I’ve ordered the pizza,” said Mom. Our traditional Friday-night supper is pizza, delivered from Lombardi’s, the oldest pizzeria in New York. “Why don’t you get started on your weekend homework, Billie? Jane, you come along with me and wash those hands.”
Let Jane alone with a hot secret and my mother at the same time?
“No!” I said. “Janey, stay here. I’ll help you wash your hands in a minute.”
She looked at me with total scorn. “I think I can wash my own hands,” she said, prancing out of the room after my mother.
“Oh, shoofly,” I swore.
“Billie,” said Alyssa. “Why can’t I just have a shower and scrub this stuff off?”
“It doesn’t work that way….” I let my voice trail off. She was getting closer, but I didn’t want to tell her the truth just yet. I kind of liked keeping her in the dark. I’d call Hubert, right now while my mother was busy, and tell him to start chewing the gum.
I found the phone on Jane’s bed.
“Who are you calling?” asked Alyssa.
“The Department of Missing Persons.”
“Hello?” said Hubert.
“Hubert,” I said.
“Oh, hi, Billie,”
“What are you calling Hubert for?” asked Alyssa. “To talk to J. P?”
“Be quiet,” I ordered, covering the mouthpiece. I pulled Jane’s blanket over my head so maybe she couldn’t hear everything.
“Hubert, I only have a second,” I whispered. “It’s an emergency.”
“Is this about Alyssa?”
“Of course. Only I forget the names of those Chinese fungus things we had to get for Harry the last time this happened. Do you remember? Locust barf? Goat’s hoof?”
“Goat’s horn, I think. Why don’t you call Jody?”
“I will—it’s just weird to call her after all these months and say it’s an emergency. Or she might have moved, or— I was just hoping maybe you’d remember. Plus, Hubert?”
“Uh-huh?”
I’d been asking him for a lot of favors recently, it suddenly seemed. No wonder he got sick of me sometimes and had other friends over.
“Hubert? I know you’re probably a little tired of me right now, but I’m kind of in a panic….” I heard my own voice wobble. “And I also need you to chew the gum. Lots of it.”
“But, Billie, how am I—”
“I could never chew as much as you, especially with my mother around. I’ll pay you back, however many packs you buy. Gum juice is an essential part of the Reappearing Potion, remember? Masticated chicle. And you are the master masticator.”
“Don’t bother with the flattery, Billie. Anyway, J. P. is here, and what am I supposed to tell—”
Someone poked me.
I pulled the blanket off my head, but no one was there. Meaning Alyssa.
“I gotta go. Just pretty please do it, Hubert? Okay? I’ll call you tomorrow. Say hi to Jean-Pierre for me.”
Click.
“You did call Jean-Pierre!” Alyssa’s voice was right in my ear.
“Out of the way, Alyssa, I want to go check on Jane. I don’t trust her to keep her mouth shut.”
I hurried to the kitchen before Alyssa could protest. Jane was actually washing her hands and singing a song about a crow on the fence. It seemed like nothing to worry about, so far.
“Billie, set the table, will you please?” My mother had trapped me.
Jane dried her hands on her shirt and skipped back to the bedroom. I put out plates and glasses. I flung down the napkins and cutlery. Not my best job ever.
Back at the doorway of our room, I stopped short. The contents of my backpack were strewn across the floor.
“Hey!” I said.
“I know you’re lying.” Alyssa’s voice was coming from near my dresser, in front of the mirror. “You’re just trying to torture me.”
“What?”
“She took your makeup bag,” reported Jane. “I saw it disappear.” She was trying on the latex gloves I’d brought home from the library detention. Harry gnawed on the corner of my binder.
“You probably have some kind of magic medicine right in this bag,” muttered Alyssa. “So I’m just trying everything.”
“Don’t you think if I had the right stuff I’d be throwing it at you?” I asked. “And good riddance? I swear, Alyssa, there is no instant cure. It’s a highly scientific procedure.” And let’s just pray i
t’s strong enough to counteract such a big dose of powder.
“Look!” said Jane. Her wiggling fingers did not quite fill the gloves. “Monster hands!”
She was so pleased with herself I had to laugh.
“Watch this,” I said. “Jean-Pierre did this cool trick today.”
I inflated a glove for her, making the fingers pop up and wave. Harry leaped for it. A second glove from the pile disappeared as Alyssa took it. We could hear her puffing away and the scratchy sound when she tied the knot and then poof! A balloon bounced out of nowhere and boinked Jane on the forehead.
Jane teased Harry with it, wiggling the fingers in his face and pulling them away quickly before his teeth could get a grip.
The door buzzer rang.
“That’s the pizza guy,” called my mother. “Settle the squabble, please, girls!”
“Jeez, it was your own fault,” muttered Alyssa. She grabbed another glove, but this time we heard the rubbery snap as she pulled it on.
“Doesn’t this bring back fond memories of detention?” she asked. “The fashionable accessory for all occasions … and strong enough to withstand toxic chemicals!”
“Kids! Wash your hands! The pizza’s here, ready and waiting.”
“I’m starving!” complained Alyssa. She now seemed to be sitting on Jane’s bed.
“Tough,” I said. “You’re having Oreo crumbs and lemonade. Prisoner’s rations.”
15 • UFO (Unseen
Flight Operator)
I managed to sneak a slice of pizza for Alyssa while my mother poured glasses of cranberry juice. I rolled it up in my napkin, but it was leaking orange oil and was kind of disgusting. I balanced it on my thigh while I ate, until Harry discovered it and started to beg. Our table is in the living room, partway between the kitchen area and our bedroom. I was just inventing an excuse to go to my room when the refrigerator door opened.
It opened with a definite click and stayed open about two feet. Thank goodness I’m the one whose chair faces the kitchen! Mom faces me, so she couldn’t see behind her, and Jane’s view was blocked by the plant on the counter.
“Molly wiggled her tooth all morning,” Jane was saying. “And then, when she leaned over the turtle tank—”
The Invisible Enemy Page 5