The Quiet Game

by Cassandra Hallman

  “I want to live here again. If possible, I would like to go back to my old foster home, but there are only a few weeks left in the school year so maybe I could finish it at the group home.” That way I can spend some more time with Jen, who I will greatly miss if I really get to move back here.

  “That's sound good, I will talk to Sarah when she gets back.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jaxon

  Alittle while later Hunter shows up. Elisa is laying in the bed again and I am sitting next to her. When he first walks in and I introduce them, I can feel her whole body stiffen up.

  “Hunter has been my friend since we were kids, he was with me three years ago.”

  Elisa just nods in response, apparently not comfortable talking with him around.

  Hunter sits some bags down next to the bathroom door and turns to us.

  “I’m sorry about Colt making you come to the club and everything that happened to you,” he tells Elisa. “I had no idea what he was up to.”

  Then he turns to me. “I swear I didn’t know. If I would have seen her at the club I would have told you right away. I think he avoided me on purpose, he knew exactly what he was doing. It’s the drugs Jax, he is out of control. I told all the staff at the club that he is not welcome anymore.”

  As he talks, I can feel Elisa relaxing next to me. She might not know him as good as I do but she can read people well enough to know he is telling the truth.

  After Hunter leaves I change into the new clothes and brush my teeth. When I get back into the room Sarah is sitting on the chair next to the bed talking to Elisa. “I just talked to the doctor, they going to release you first thing in the morning. I’ll be here bright and early so we can leave as soon as the doctor signs the paper.”

  Elisa doesn't say anything she just looks at me, telling me with her eyes she wants me to talk to Sarah.

  “Sarah…” I start, then her phone rings and she held up one finger.

  “Sorry, I got to take this”

  She answers the phone with a cheery “Hello,” but as she listens to the other person on the phone her expression saddens.

  “Oh no,” she says in a sob and covers her mouth with her hand. “I'll be there as soon as I can.” She hangs up the phone, stands up and looks at Elisa with tears in her eyes.

  “Elisa, Jen’s mom just passed away. She had a relapse and accidentally overdosed.”

  Elisa sat up in the bed and looked at Sarah in shock.

  Sarah turns to me, “How would you feel about bringing Elisa home in the morning? I would like to head back now if possible. I assume you were planning on staying with her tonight anyways.”

  “Yes, I won't leave her side and I'll bring her to you in the morning.”

  She turned back to Elisa. “Are you okay with that?” Elisa nods, her eyes still large and sad. Sarah gives Elisa a careful hug and gives my shoulder a squeeze on the way out.

  We spend the day laying in bed, walking to the cafeteria and taking strolls through the hospital garden. I notice that Elisa doesn't talk when we are walking, even though she is holding on to my arm. Only when It's just us, or we sit down somewhere, does she feel safe enough to let go of her compulsion. I hate to admit it but I like having this with her. The way she only feels comfortable enough to speak when she is with me. I know it's wrong but part of me likes having her depend on me in a way. I want to take care of her and I want her to need me. I wanted her to have the choice to live where she wants too, but on the inside, it was killing me to offer. I just want her to stay with me. Just like I always wanted her with me, even when we were kids.

  We sleep the same way we slept last night. I carefully get into the bed next to her. I know the nurses don’t like us doing this and I am sure they have figured out by now that I am not her brother, but I really don’t care what they think. This time I wake up before her and use the time to watch her sleep. Her face already looks much better. The swelling is almost gone and the bruised skin is already turning back to its normal ivory complexion. I kiss the tender skin on the nape of her neck and she lets out a sleepy moan. Her warm body nestled up to mine, the sweet smell of her hair and skin combined with that soft moan she just let out, stirs some dark desires inside me. I push it down and try think about something else while I get up and put my shoes on. A loud knock on the door followed by the doctor walking in is the final distraction I needed.

  “Alright then, everything looks good. I just signed the paperwork, you are ready to go home now. I still need you to take it easy for a few days, ok?”

  Elisa sits up a little and gives the doctor a smile with a soft nod of her head.

  With a final “Take it easy now,” the doctor leaves the room. The new nurse comes in shortly after and unhooks Elisa from the IV. Elisa gets dressed in the bathroom, we gather all of our stuff and head out.

  This time I don’t mind the 3-hour drive. We stop at a little diner in the middle of nowhere to get something to eat. As soon as we sit down an older sweet looking woman comes to take our order. Her voice is even, neither friendly nor hostile but her eyes are glaring at me like she is about to pull out a kitchen knife and stab me. At the hospital people at least knew Elisa was in a car accident but all this lady sees right now is a young girl with a busted face, not saying a word and looking nervous. Me twice her size, with my knuckles still bruised from the fight and all I'm ordering for her is a soup and a water while I order a three-course meal for myself. Elisa still can’t chew without pain because of the cut in her cheek, so there isn’t a lot more she wants to eat right now. At least the waitress doesn't look at Elisa with judgment, only with some kind of pity and sad understanding. Even though she is completely misreading this situation. Elisa isn’t talking, just nervously looking around the restaurant. After the waitress leaves, I get up and I do what I did last time, I take the seat next to her. She cradles into my side and her whole body relaxes.

  “Better?”

  “Much.” When the waitress come back with our order the way she looks at me changes from cautious to curious. Elisa is visibly more relaxed since I switched seats, she is talking to me now, making jokes and laughing. The waitress out right stares at us while sitting down our plates. Elisa must notice as well because as soon as the waitress is gone she says,

  “People are confused by us.”

  “Well that’s their own problem, people just like to make assumptions.”

  “I don’t blame them. I know they say you should not judge a book by its cover, but in my experience most of the time you can.” There is a sad note in the way she says this and I want to ask her more about it but decide not to. She is going to have to deal with enough heartache when she gets back to her current home and her grieving friend.

  Ten minutes after we got back on the road Elisa falls asleep. She is acting so normal that I keep forgetting she is still healing. I wake her up when we are ten minutes away from our destination.

  “Are you going to be ok with everything that's going on?" She is looking out the window like she is deep in thought. “Yeah, I think so.”

  Then she turns to me. “Are you just dropping me off?”

  “I don’t particularly want to, but I do have to get back to the club and even though Sarah seems to like me now, I highly doubt she would be ok with me staying with you.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Elisa

  Idon’t know what I was expecting. Of course, Jaxon would not be able to stay with me here. Still the thought of him leaving me soon hits me like a ton of bricks. I try to make my voice sound steady instead of the shakiness I feel inside. “Can you really get me moved back?”

  “Elisa, I promise I will make it happen and if for some reason you can’t move back, I will move out here, closer to you.”

  He says this like it's the most normal thing in the world. Does he not realize what this means to me? What he means to me. I’m almost crying because I'm so happy.

  We park in front of the group home and Jaxon gets out to grab m
y bag.

  “I’ll walk you in.”

  The house is unusually quiet. The other kids that stay here are younger than me and Jen. Normally the house is filled with the sound of children at play and laughter. I heard a quiet sob coming from the common room and we follow it. Sarah is sitting on one of the couches holding Jen in her arms. They both look up when they notice us walk in. Jen's eyes are red and puffy, she is still in her pajamas and her hair is in an even messier bun than usual. I sit on the other side of her and she turns to me and falls into my arms.

  “I’m sorry,” is all I can say. I wish I could make her feel better but I have no idea how. I know how to live without a mother but I don’t know what it feels like to lose one. Jen doesn't say anything back. She is just holding on to me like I’m her lifeline. Maybe that is all she needs right now. Someone who is here for her. I already feel unbelievably guilty for thinking about leaving her in a few weeks. When I look back up I realize Jaxon and Sarah have stepped out. After one loud sob Jen lifts her head from my shoulder and looks at me.

  “Did you bring me a hottie too or are you keeping them all for yourself?”

  That makes me smile. Even now she is being sweet and funny.

  “Can we go to our room? I just wanna curl up in a ball in my bed and stay there.”

  I nod and we walk up the stairs. I sit next to her on the bed and as she laid down I put my hand on her back and rub gently.

  “That feels nice.” She says approvingly.

  A few minutes later the door opens and Jaxon walks in. Jens eyes are closed but I can tell she is not asleep.

  “I’m going to head back.” He tells me.

  I get up and give him a hug holding on to him as long as I can. When I let go we stand there for a moment just looking at each other.

  “Kiss already.” Jen demands in a mumble from the bed.

  Jaxon leans down and gives me a quick kiss on the lips, then lingers in front of my face, our foreheads touching.

  “I’ll text you tonight.” He says before turning and walking out our room. I miss him as soon as he is gone.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  The next week Jen and I are even more inseparable than we were before. I have been dreading to tell her that I am planning on leaving after the school year. When Jaxon finally texts me that everything is set for me to move back, the nagging feeling turns into full on guilt in the form of a giant knot in my stomach. Not telling her is eating me up inside. When we are back in our room after dinner I hand her my phone so she can read the text Jaxson had send me.

  “You are leaving me?” She looks at me in anger more than in hurt, throws the phone on my bed and stomps to the bathroom. She takes a shower so long there is no way any hot water is left by the time she gets out. I wait patiently on my bed with my hands in my lap wishing Jaxon was here right now to talk to her for me.

  When she gets back she looks calm and composed. She takes a seat next to me. “I have decided that you and Jaxon will get married and adopt me, this is the only way I can go on living.” She says in a dramatic voice. I know she is joking but the thought of us three living together has now entered my mind. I can’t help but think of it as the perfect version of our lives. An alternative reality of sorts where everybody is happy and all problems are nonexistent.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  The following Sunday night I lay in my bed listening to music. Jen is laying in her own bed reading a book. I look at my phone every five minutes but Jaxon still hasn’t sent me a text. I am starting to get worried. He messages me multiple times a day and he especially never misses a good night text. Now he hasn’t texted since this morning, even though I messaged him five times already.

  “Maybe he is busy with work.” Jen tries to console me from her bed.

  She is probably right. I am overreacting. I am trying my hardest to concentrate on the music and not on the scenarios running through my head of Jaxon being in trouble.

  My phone buzzes and I grab for it so quickly that I accidentally knock it off my bed. I scramble to the floor to retrieve my phone and read the text.

  JAXON: SORRY I HAVE BEEN SUPER BUSY TODAY.

  ME: IT’S OK. I WAS JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

  JAXON: I’M SORRY. I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU BUT I CANNOT TEXT ANYMORE THE REST OF THE NIGHT.

  ME: WHY?

  JAXON: I’M STAYING WITH THIS GIRL AND I DON’T WANT HER TO THINK I’M NOT PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO HER.

  What! He is staying with a girl? Why would he tell me this? Before I can respond my phone buzzes once more.

  JAXON: THAT IS, IF THE GIRL OPENS HER WINDOW AND LETS ME IN.

  I want to smack him for scaring me like that but once he comes through the window of my room, all I want to do is hug and kiss him.

  Jen gets up from the bed, placing her hands on her hips and looking over Jaxon’s shoulder expectantly.

  “You couldn’t have brought a friend?” She asks him disapprovingly.

  “Sorry. Maybe next time.” He says apologetically.

  Jen rolls her eyes and lets herself fall back onto her bed. “Well at least be quiet while I am trying to read.”

  Quiet? What does she think we are going to do here? Jaxon takes of this boots off and nudges me towards the bed. I lay down on one side and Jaxon lays his way too large for my bed body, next to mine. He lays down on top of the blanket and fully clothed. At least there won't be a question on what we were doing in here if someone happens to come into our room. I am not so worried about it though. No one ever really checks on us at night and even if they do, I think Sarah knows Jaxon well enough to let it slide.

  We cuddle up in my tiny bed like we did in the hospital. My ribs, my hand and my face are all back to normal but we still chose our previous spooning position. Our backs are toward the room and we are facing the wall, like he is sheltering me from the world. His face is right next to my ear and his breath tickles me when he whispers. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too,” I whisper back and smile to myself.

  I’m almost asleep when I let out the question I have been burning to ask. “Why do you never sleep under the blanket with me?”

  “I think you are perceptive enough to know why.” He answers with a chuckle.

  “You don’t want to have sex?”

  “The opposite, I do, and If I get under that blanket with you I won't be able to stop myself.”

  I am so glad he doesn’t see my face right now. I am sure the mixture of embarrassment and anticipation I am feeling is written all over it. I am thinking about the first time he was laying in my bed and our passionate kiss. I want that again and more. Almost too quiet for him to hear I say, “I want you under my blanket.”

  “Not today.”

  “Why not?”

  That makes him chuckle so hard, it makes the bed move. “Mostly because we promised your friend, who is sleeping a few feet away from us, to be quiet.”

  I can’t believe I forgot about Jen. As always when I am close to Jaxon I seem to forget my surroundings and only see him.

  “So, when I move back in two weeks I can stay with you that weekend and…”

  Now he is full on laughing. “Are you trying to schedule sex with me?”

  My face feels like it about to set my pillow on fire. What am I thinking? Why did I say that?

  Even though I am still embarrassed about my shameless proposition by the time I fall asleep, I sleep better that night than I have in a long time, maybe ever. I wake up when he sneaks out in the morning, leaving an empty cold space next to me.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Elisa

  The last day of school is finally over and I am packed and ready to go. Sarah is driving me back to my old foster home and she is letting Jen tag along. I am more than happy that Jen seems to be okay with me moving now. She made me promise to text every day, to come and visit her once a month and that she can come and visit me whenever she feels like it. I am perfectly fine with those terms. We are all cheery on our little road trip, listenin
g to music and even singing along a bit. I am excited to see Brad and Christine this afternoon but I am ecstatic to see Jaxon tonight. He promised he will come over as soon as he gets done with some super important appointment.

  When we get to my old house I walk in without knocking like I never left. Sarah and Jen are right behind me. “Hello?” I say loudly, but no one answers.

  That's odd. I keep walking through the house with Sarah and Jen following me step by step. I walk through the kitchen and a muffled sound leads me into the living room. I freeze in the doorway. Christine and Brad are both laying on the floor, their hands are tied behind their backs, feet are tied together by their ankles and rags are covering their mouths so they can’t talk or scream. I'm so in shock I literally can’t move, or speak, or breathe. Sarah pushes past me and kneels next to Christine tugging on the gag in her mouth. Christine is shaking her head and looking towards the wall. We all follow her gaze and spot the person standing in the far corner holding a gun, pointed at us. More so, he is pointing it straight at me.

  “Hello little girl,” Colt greets me.

  His eyes are bloodshot and his pupils are so dilated that his eye color is not visible. He moves closer to me with jerky movements. His arms and shoulders twitching unnaturally.

  “You caused me a lot of problems, you know that? Everything was great before you came along.”

  I'm staring down the barrel of his gun as he walks closer to me still pointing it at my head. My lungs start burning and I am forced to suck in a shaky breath. In my peripheral vision I can see Jen standing a foot away from me. Not moving, probably in shock. I wish she wasn’t here right now. She has been through so much and now it's my fault she is here.