“I don’t deserve this,” he said. “Your kindness. Your family’s hospitality. I basically threw a tantrum and stopped talking to you because you left.”
“I should have stayed in touch,” Owen said. “Should have reached out. It’s as much on me as it is on you. But I’m trying to fix it now. Let me?”
Owen was still in emergency mode right now. He knew that he and Jude had a lot of catching up to do, a lot of things to work out between them, but they could only do that if Jude was alive and well.
“I could never say no to you.”
Owen grinned. That was true, and he was glad it still held. “And you’re not gonna start now. Grab your stuff. Mom’s holding lunch for you.”
“You planned this the whole time, didn’t you?”
“I planned lunch. Mom planned for you to come and stay with us. I wasn’t gonna ask, but… I think it’s better for everyone.”
“Yeah.” Jude headed for the coffee table and closed his laptop, grabbing a bag from beside the couch to shove it into. “I think you’re right. I’ll just… feel guilty about it.”
“No guilt,” Owen insisted. “You’re family.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Because it’s true. You are family. We love you.”
Jude nodded slowly. “I’m starting to get the picture. I don’t… know how to deal with that, exactly, but I’m getting it.”
“Good,” Owen said.
All he wanted now was to have as much family around him as possible, and Jude was part of that. Owen hadn’t realized how much he’d missed him until he saw him again, and the brief scare he’d had yesterday that Jude really was going to die on him had made it seem all the more urgent that he got to see as much of him as he could manage.
This was a start.
Chapter Four
The sound of someone coming through the front door startled Jude out of a dream—or a daydream, maybe—that he’d been having about Owen.
Specifically, about Owen coming into the house, climbing onto the couch on top of him and kissing him deeply, whispering into his ear that he’d been waiting to see Jude all this time, that he wanted him now. Rocking his hips into Jude’s, his cock thick and heavy between his legs, brushing against Jude’s own. Warm arousal building in Jude’s gut, soft moans breaking free of his throat even as they shushed each other, not wanting to get caught doing this on the living room couch.
The image was fading fast, but Jude could still almost feel the warmth and weight of Owen’s body on top of him, the brush of Owen’s breath against his ear. He shivered under his blanket, a spark of need traveling down to the base of his spine from the back of his neck.
His cock twitched with arousal.
Now was not the time to start having sex dreams about Owen. Especially since he was the one walking into the living room.
He pulled the blanket up and turned to the side, hoping that would hide the fact that he was half-hard for as long as it took him to snap out of it. He could already feel his cock softening at the shock of being woken, which seemed like a good thing.
The last thing he needed right now was for Owen to realize how Jude really felt about him.
Jude had been living in the Jules’ house for a week, and as promised, Owen had collected his things and even put the few pieces of furniture he owned in storage in the garage.
He’d been made to feel welcome and wanted every minute of the day, cooked for, kept company, and been subject to Mrs. Jules looking after him as though he was an injured kitten, all of which had actually been nice.
The change his life had gone through felt seismic, and it wasn’t anything like he’d expected, but right now, he was…
Happy.
For the first time since his mom had died, he didn’t feel as though there was an elephant sitting on his chest, or as though the world was about to end, or anything like that. He didn’t feel alone.
He was glad Owen was back in town. He was glad he’d accepted his help, after all. It was definitely a better option than the slow, painful descent into illness and death he’d been facing.
Even if it was a little painful to see his best friend all grown up and still not interested in him.
Owen smiled and waved at Jude on the way through the living room, heading into the kitchen.
“Don’t get up on my account,” he called out.
It was too late for that. It had only taken Jude a week to fall head-over-heels for Owen again, and that meant that whenever he was around, Jude wanted to be near him. He wanted to bask in Owen’s warm brown eyes and be on the receiving end of his rare, tired smiles, and enjoy the company of a man he’d missed more than anything for so long.
He heaved himself off the couch, groaning like a man twice his age, and padded into the kitchen after Owen.
“I was getting up anyway,” he lied, settling on one of the stools tucked under the kitchen counter to watch Owen put the groceries away.
He still felt incredibly guilty about taking anything from the other man and his family, but the childlike joy of getting to be around Owen again was easing that feeling.
Besides, he had every intention of repaying the debt. Somehow, he’d find something to do for Owen.
“How was your day?” Owen asked. He’d been across town visiting Kayla since early in the morning, and he was practically glowing from it.
Jude wanted to see him like that more often. He so obviously loved his daughter.
“Uh, good, actually. I haven’t thrown up once and I managed to answer two work emails,” he said.
Getting back to living normally after cutting his insulin dose down so far and starving himself to control his blood sugar had involved a few teething problems. He’d tried to hide them from Owen and the rest of his family, but the house wasn’t that big.
They’d all rallied around him, though. Charlie had been quick to offer platonic cuddles and herbal tea. Mrs. Jules had made a fuss over him and gotten him what felt like every blanket in the house.
Owen had sat up late with him when he felt like crap, silently watching TV or catching up on work long after everyone else was in bed just so Jude wouldn’t have to sit alone, nauseous and sleepless.
He was still overwhelmed by how much love this family had shown him. He remembered it being the same way when he was a kid, but he’d thought he’d lost all of it when he lost Owen.
As it turned out, he hadn’t lost Owen. He’d just let his own self-pity get in the way of having the company of his best friend more often.
“That seems like an improvement,” Owen said. “I hate seeing you this sick, though. I don’t want this happening again. I think you’re recovered enough now for me to tell you how stupid you were being.”
“I know.” Jude sighed. “I didn’t want anyone to see me hurting. I couldn’t face everyone knowing that I’d failed in keeping myself alive.”
“Firstly, you didn’t fail. You relied on insurance you can’t get anymore, and it’s not your fault you lost it. Secondly, even if you had… that’s kinda the point of friends. They help each other out when the going gets tough.”
“I think this is a little above and beyond, even for a best friend.”
Especially considering what Owen had gone through recently, Jude was shocked that he had the mental and emotional energy to give for this.
“Hey, you got me through a lot when we were kids. You were always there for me. This is nothing more than you deserve.”
“I’m gonna let myself believe that,” Jude said. “If only because I can’t handle the alternative.”
Owen finished up putting the groceries away and got two glasses out of the cupboard, filling them both with water from the fridge and then sliding one over to Jude. It was a tiny gesture, but like all the tiny gestures Owen made, it felt good.
Jude sipped his glass quietly, watching Owen.
“So, uh. I’ve been looking into stuff, and it turns out your insulin would actually be covered under the insurance I get through work.”<
br />
Jude raised an eyebrow. “So you’re gonna get me a job?”
Jude still wasn’t entirely clear on exactly what Owen’s job was. He understood that the cocktail-party introduction was that he was in lead generation, but other than that kind of being a sales position, Jude knew nothing about it.
He made pictures. That was his entire job. It seemed like a much simpler life than Owen’s.
Somewhat less lucrative, though.
Owen chuckled. “No, uh… I mean, I guess, if that’s the route you wanna go down, but I was thinking of something faster and neater.”
“You’re gonna need to spell this out for me, I’m still sleepy,” Jude said.
“I was thinking we should get married.”
Jude blinked at him, sure he hadn’t heard right. Owen wanted to marry him?
Was he having a stroke? That was all he needed, after all the trouble everyone had gone to keeping him alive.
“What?” he asked, still positive he’d heard wrong.
Owen’s face fell. “Maybe it’s a dumb idea,” he mumbled. “But I just… the thing is, it’d be way easier for me to prove that I can look after my kid if I had a stable home to offer, and a husband would help with that. It’s a win-win situation, you know? You get insurance, I get my kid back.”
Jude opened and closed his mouth, unsure what to say.
“I know I’m a recent widower and I totally understand if you don’t wanna get caught up in that, but… being away from Kayla makes me feel like I’m missing part of my soul. I need my daughter with me. And you could help with that.”
“I’m an underemployed freelancer who’s never taken care of a baby in my life and nearly let myself die out of stubbornness. Are you sure I’m the right person for this?” Jude asked.
“You’re a good guy with a big heart, you’re home all day, and you’re my best friend. People won’t even think it’s weird that we’re getting married. If I’m gonna do this with anyone, it really has to be you.”
Jude considered that. Owen apparently did need to prove that he was fit to be a father, and having someone to co-parent with would look better for him.
His childhood fantasies of growing up and getting married to Owen seemed all too real right now. Did he still want that?
Even if he did want it, did he want it like this?
On the one hand, it felt a little like walking all over Lisa’s grave. She’d been his friend, too, and he didn’t like the idea of benefitting from her death, even in this indirect way. But on the other hand, Owen was still alive, and he needed Jude’s help to get his life back together.
After everything Owen had done for him, recently and in the past, it was difficult to justify refusing.
“I’ll marry you,” Jude said before he was even sure what he was about to say.
Once the words were out, though, he knew it was the right choice.
This was the only way he was ever getting to marry Owen, and besides that, it would help both of them out. It was the only sensible way of doing things.
Owen’s face broke into a broad grin. “Awesome. Sorry I didn’t get down on one knee or anything.”
“You still have time,” Jude pointed out.
To his surprise, Owen walked around the counter and knelt beside him, reaching out to take his hand.
“Will you marry me?”
Jude’s heart fluttered in his chest. If he hadn’t already been convinced, this would have been enough to make up his mind.
It was everything he’d wanted as a kid, and maybe it wasn’t exactly what he’d expected, but Owen was doing this out of love. Platonic love, and love for his daughter, but love all the same.
“That’s better,” Jude said, trying to hide how pleased he was.
“Well?” Owen asked. “You’re keeping me in suspense, here.”
“I already said yes. I wasn’t going to change my mind. I think you’re right about it being… convenient.”
“It’s more than just convenient,” Owen said softly. “It’s also a great excuse for a party.”
Jude chuckled. That sounded a lot like the old Owen, the one who wasn’t carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
It would have been nice to see him smile more often. If marrying him would help with that, Jude was happy to do it. It was the least he could do.
“It is. Do you need help to get up?” Jude asked.
Owen reached up to grip the side of the counter. “I’m twenty-six, not sixty-two.”
He groaned as he lifted himself up, but Jude suspected it was just for effect. He still seemed as effortlessly fit as ever.
Not that Jude was looking. He knew Owen was still off-limits, even if they were getting married.
“So this is definitely happening, then? We’re getting married?”
“Did you want me to say no?” Jude asked.
Owen’s eyes widened. “No, not for a second. I wanted you to say yes. I just thought you might need a little more convincing.”
“I’m convinced.” Jude stood, stretching his arms above his head. “You’re the best offer I’m ever getting, so I figure I should snatch you up while you’re available.”
He wasn’t really convinced, but he knew Owen wouldn’t let him get away with that. It felt like more help than he deserved, like Owen had to have a thousand better options, but he was just weak enough to accept anyway.
Hopefully, he wouldn’t make Owen regret it.
“Hey, anyone would be lucky to have you.” Owen wet his lips. “It might not be much of a wedding night, but it means a lot to me that you’re agreeing to this.”
“Not so much that you’re willing to set aside your total lack of sexual attraction to me for one night, though,” Jude joked.
Owen laughed. Then, he leaned in and just barely brushed his lips over Jude’s cheek.
It was less than a half-second of contact, but it was enough to make Jude’s stomach swoop, his heart clenching in his chest.
Owen had never kissed him before. Not even like that, not even playfully.
Jude stared, his cheeks burning, as Owen leaned back again.
“Practice for when we’ve gotta do that in front of my entire family.”
“Uh huh,” Jude managed, his stomach still tied up in knots. Owen was as clueless as ever, but it seemed even more important to keep him that way right now. “I think you just can’t resist me,” he added, desperately wanting this to turn into a joke.
Not that he wasn’t going to save the memory forever, but he didn’t need Owen knowing that. He’d hidden his feelings so well for so long.
“Maybe that’s it.” Owen smiled a small, fond smile that Jude also intended to store away in his mind. It was exactly the way he wanted Owen to look at him post-kiss. “I was surprised you didn’t have a boyfriend, actually.”
Jude snorted. “I’m not actually the great catch you think I am.”
He’d briefly considered seeing if Charlie was interested, but that felt a little too much like settling. Charlie was a sweetheart, and he’d grown up into a very attractive man, but he wasn’t Owen.
Owen was the brother he wanted.
“Yeah you are,” Owen said, heading back to the fridge. He obviously wasn’t about to let Jude argue.
This wasn’t exactly the way he’d wanted to get him, but Jude was past the point where he got to be picky about that kind of thing. Knowing Owen was willing to tie their lives up together for his sake meant a lot more to him than sex ever could have.
Chapter Five
Owen’s stomach was in knots as he stood on Lisa’s parents’ doorstep. He was still stuck with relying on their good will to see Kayla, since he hadn’t been able to make his court date when they’d applied for custody at the risk of losing his job, but that was all about to change.
With Jude in his corner, he had high hopes.
He wished now that he’d asked for help earlier, dropped everything and come home, forgotten about his job and his worries about how he was goi
ng to support Kayla, but it was too late for that.
He’d uprooted his entire life so he could see her, and he wasn’t backing down now.
He hadn’t wanted to force the issue—he’d hoped they could work it out between themselves—but if they made him go through the legal system, he’d do it. His daughter was the most important thing he had left.
Lisa’s father opened the door, gave Owen a look that said loud and clear that he wasn’t welcome, and then turned to call up the stairs.
“Brenda? It’s for you.”
“Thank you,” Owen said, not about to acknowledge that they didn’t want him there. It was his daughter they were keeping. He had every right to be with her.
Lisa’s father walked away without another word, leaving Owen alone at the door.
A moment later, Lisa’s mom came downstairs. She gave Owen a withering look, putting her hands on her hips as she stood back from the door.
“You know the way upstairs,” she said.
Owen swallowed. “I was hoping it’d be okay if I took her for a walk.”
Lisa’s mom sighed, but she seemed more tired than annoyed. “Knock yourself out. The stroller’s folded up in the living room.”
“Thank you,” Owen said, surprised by how easy that had been. Maybe they were starting to realize that they couldn’t hold out forever, that he wasn’t just going to drop it.
He didn’t get a response.
“Hey, umm…” Owen began. “I thought you should know, I’m getting married again.”
That got a response. Brenda’s whole face changed, her lips curling into a snarl. “Already?”
Owen wet his lips. “It’s been over a year,” he defended. “I’m allowed to be happy.”
He was allowed to be happy. Was he still sad that Lisa was gone? Absolutely. Did that mean he had to spend the entire rest of his life living under the shadow of it? No.
Besides, marriage was his best shot at getting Kayla back. His lawyer had mentioned it as though it wasn’t something he’d be able to swing, but then Jude had fallen into his lap. Almost literally.
It had been too good an opportunity to pass up, especially when it was going to help both of them.
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