Brenda nodded. “We were. And we’re lucky to have this little one, too,” she added, echoing what Jude had said earlier.
Maybe she really was starting to come around.
“And I can definitely take care of her while you’re doing other things,” Jude said. “Owen will be home later anyway, and I can handle a few hours with an angel.”
“Is she an angel for you?” Brenda raised an eyebrow.
Jude laughed. “Owen handed her to me once while she was crying so he could make her lunch, and she stopped right away when I held her. I know it’s just… unfathomable baby stuff, but I’m never letting him forget it.”
Despite the somber tone the conversation had taken on, Brenda smiled. “She does like to let you know when she wants something. Loudly.”
“That’s okay. That’s what babies are supposed to do. I’d rather she felt she could ask, even if she’s a little too young to really understand that.”
“The way you’re talking, you don’t sound like a half bad father. You ever thought about your own kids?” Brenda asked.
Jude nodded to Kayla. “I’m her step-father. I’m hoping the rest of the family will have at least another one or two between them so I can also be a doting uncle. I never thought about it until I met her, but now… I want all that fatherhood has to offer. I didn’t expect to end up in a situation like this, but I’m glad I have.”
“I always thought you were going places,” Brenda said. The way she said it, it sounded as though she didn’t think Jude had gotten anywhere.
“I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, I think,” Jude responded, sipping his rapidly-cooling coffee. He didn’t need to convince her that his life meant something. “I’ve never been happier.”
Brenda huffed, but she seemed less dismissive this time. “Well, thank you for lunch,” she said, finishing her last bite and draining her coffee. “I’ll leave Kayla with you, if that’s okay.”
“It’s perfect,” Jude said. “I needed an excuse to take a half-day off.” He smiled down at Kayla.
Brenda didn’t say anything else, so he led her out to the door and waved goodbye, promising again that Kayla was in good hands as she walked down the driveway.
Maybe it wouldn’t solve all their problems, but he felt as though he’d made a difference this afternoon.
Chapter Twenty-One
The meeting hadn’t taken as long as Owen expected it would, but when he parked his car in the driveway a little after six, he was still glad to be home.
The smell of something amazing hit him as soon as he came through the door, but Jude didn’t appear to greet him at the same time.
That was fine. He didn’t have to bound to the front door like an excited puppy every time Owen came into the house.
Hearing a thud in the living room made Owen’s blood run cold. Was Jude hurt? Had he collapsed?
He rushed into the room, heart pounding, and found…
Jude rolling around on the floor, with Kayla crawling after him at top speed. He was holding the pink bear he’d gotten her a while back, making her chase it down across the area rug in the middle of the room.
The coffee table and couch had both been shoved out of the way to make room for whatever game they were playing, and Kayla was giggling happily as she chased after Jude.
Once the panic faded, Owen let the scene wash over him. It was maybe the cutest thing he’d ever seen in his life, and both Kayla and Jude were glowing.
“Oh no!” Jude laughed as Kayla reached out to claim the bear, flopping onto his back on the rug. “You’ve defeated me,” he added, picking Kayla up and setting her on his chest.
He finally looked over and saw Owen standing in the doorway. “Oh. Hello,” he said, blushing.
“Did you just get out-maneuvered by a baby?” Owen asked, raising an eyebrow. He couldn’t hide his smile. His day had been horrible, but coming home to this made it all feel worth it.
“She’s a very smart baby,” Jude defended. Kayla had already made herself at home on top of Jude, pulling on his t-shirt with her tiny, surprisingly strong hands.
Babies were a lot stronger than Owen had expected. Kayla had accidentally punched him in the jaw once, and she’d left a bruise.
“Of course she is, she takes after me,” Owen said, heading over to join them and getting down on all fours.
“Da!” Kayla enthused as Owen leaned in to kiss her cheek.
Owen’s heart soared. She’d said it once or twice before, but never in front of anyone who could witness it.
“Oh, wow,” Jude said softly. “That was too cute. She knows who her daddy is.”
“You definitely heard that?” Owen asked, needing to be sure.
“Definitely,” Jude agreed. “Loud and clear. Besides, she’s excited to see you. She knows who you are. Apparently babies can tell by scent.”
That was news to Owen, but he hadn’t really had a lot of time to research the finer points of child development. He’d spent all his functional hours keeping both of them alive.
He could have gotten to the point where he could do this on his own, but it was nice to have a second pair of hands around when he needed them. He’d always be grateful to Jude for that.
“So, how was your meeting?” Jude asked as Owen lifted Kayla off him, sitting on the floor to cuddle her.
“Mercifully short,” Owen responded. That was the best thing he could say about it.
His job had been fine under his old manager—not great, not terribly fulfilling, but bearable. Now, under his new one… it was a nightmare. He had more work to do and less time to do it in. He’d had to double his number of leads to keep up with his new performance requirements.
He’d fallen one short. One.
And they’d dragged him to a different state to talk about it in person. It didn’t matter that his leads had three times the conversion rate and twice the value of the company average. Just that one of his numbers hadn’t matched up in the giant spreadsheet.
None of that was Jude’s problem, though.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Jude asked.
“No,” Owen said immediately. He was home and surrounded by his family. That was all that mattered now. They could drag his ass over the coals every month over bullshit if they had to, as long as he got to come home to this.
“Dinner smells great,” he added.
“It’s butter chicken,” Jude said. “With brown rice, which I think you’ll like. Kayla can even have some, it’s really mild but very tasty. Mostly tomato and peanut butter.”
“You don’t have to sell it, I’m already sold. It’s food. I’m starving.”
“I can hurry it along, if you want? I thought you’d be later.”
“So did I. And no, I’m okay. I have a baby to keep me occupied,” Owen said. “Why do I have a baby?”
“Lisa’s mom came by and dropped her off. Her husband had a hospital appointment. Things were… tense, but civil. She ate the leftover hash browns, sorry.”
Owen shrugged. “I’ll trade a hundred hash browns for a night with Kayla,” he said. “A thousand. Ten thousand. I’ll wipe out the entire species of sweet potato. Besides, I watched you make ‘em. I can do it next time.”
Jude chuckled. “I’m already looking forward to seeing that.”
Owen huffed. Jude doubted his culinary skills now, but he’d see. Owen was going to blow his mind.
“I’m gonna check on dinner anyway.” Jude said, standing. He ruffled Owen’s hair on the way past, a small gesture that felt even more intimate than a kiss right now.
Owen sat playing peek-a-boo with Kayla for a few minutes, then stood, picked her up, and headed into the kitchen after him, drawn in by the increasingly delicious smell.
“How far off is that?” Owen asked, bouncing Kayla in his arms. She seemed to be in a good mood.
She liked Jude. If he’d been asked a month ago, Owen wouldn’t have said he thought Jude would be a natural with children, but it was turning out that he
was.
“I can plate up as soon as the rice is tender,” Jude said. “Just a few minutes.”
“There’s actually drool pooling in my mouth right now,” Owen responded, breathing in the warm, bright smell of Jude’s cooking.
“That’s disgusting.” Jude wrinkled his nose. “Swallow like a normal person.”
Owen chuckled. “It was meant to be a compliment.”
“I know. Work on your compliments,” Jude said, but he was smiling. Owen figured that was good enough. He wasn’t necessarily the smoothest man in the world, but he’d perfected the art of making people he cared about smile.
He needed to practice it more on Jude. He’d taken Jude for granted up until now, and not paused to think about all the great things he’d done for him. It was time to remedy that.
“So, uh…” Owen started, sitting down at the table with Kayla in his arms. He probably needed to get her a high-chair, but he was used to having her on his lap while he ate.
Maybe one day he wouldn’t feel the need to be so clingy.
Jude looked over at him when he trailed off, taking the frying pan he was stirring off the stove. “I’m listening,” he said, reminding Owen that he’d been meaning to say something.
“Forgive me if this doesn’t come out right, but, uh… do you wanna sleep in my room again tonight? Not for sex—I mean, not necessarily for sex, anyway, but just…”
“To be close?” Jude finished for him.
“Yeah, something like that,” Owen agreed. “I don’t… I gotta be honest, I’m still getting all of this together in my head. I’m at the point now where it’s less weird that you’re a guy but more weird that it’s you, y’know?”
“I think I understand,” Jude said, dishing rice out onto plates. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Always.” Owen smiled to himself, pleased that Jude trusted him.
“I’ve had a crush on you since we were kids,” he said. “I hope that’s not weird. It probably is. Sorry.”
“No, uh.” Owen scratched the back of his neck. “It’s not… I mean, I’m really glad you’re not just going along with this and you’re getting something out of it. My bullshit about experimenting was… y’know, bullshit.”
Jude laughed, bringing two plates over. “I was starting to get that impression. You’re less subtle than you think you are.”
“So it’s okay? That I kinda… like you, I mean?” Owen asked. He’d been wondering at what point he’d have to tell Jude that it was about him, not about some kind of imaginary experiment. Now, he wasn’t sure Jude had ever believed him.
“I think liking me is the bare minimum.” Jude smiled wryly. “But yes, it’s fine. I appreciate you taking the time to figure out how you feel. And you have all the time in the world. I won’t rush you.”
“Well… good,” Owen said, feeling a weight lift off him that he hadn’t realized he was carrying.
“You remember when we were little and we carved our initials into that tree?” Jude asked.
Owen nodded. He remembered that summer, the one before middle school, when they’d been afraid that Jude was going to move away. He hadn’t, after all, but Owen remembered being so lost and scared back then. He remembered feeling like he couldn’t have lived without Jude, like he’d never be happy again.
He’d been too young to realize that was what love felt like, but he could see it now. He’d never thought to qualify his love for Jude as friendship or something else. It just was. It always had been.
And now he was remembering all about it.
“And we promised each other that whatever happened, wherever we ended up, we’d always be there for each other? And if my parents moved away that I could come live secretly in your room?”
Owen’s heart sank. “That didn’t work out exactly like we planned, huh?”
He still felt guilty about that. He should have kept in touch.
“That’s on both of us. Besides, you did eventually move me into your house, so I figure it was just delayed. But the point is… when you promised me forever, back then, that was the happiest day of my tiny life. Maybe it still is.” Jude shrugged.
Owen went to respond, but nothing would come out. The idea that he was a part of the happiest day of Jude’s life—not just a part, but the central figure—was overwhelming.
He only remembered being afraid. Jude remembered feeling loved.
The thought that Owen wanted to give that to him again came to the front of his mind, just for a second. He was afraid to voice it, but it was there. It meant something.
Kayla giggled, reaching out for Owen’s plate. Owen was grateful for the distraction. He had so much to figure out when it came to Jude.
“You said she could have this, right?” Owen asked.
“It’s baby-friendly, the chicken is super tender. You wanna wait until it cools, but there’s nothing in there that might hurt her. You should probably taste it yourself first so you’re sure. And tear off small pieces so she doesn’t choke. Or stick to the rice and sauce.” Jude cleared his throat, blushing. “I mean… you know all this.”
“I do, but I appreciate you helping,” Owen said.
Kayla interrupted by pointing at Owen’s plate again, making a determined little sound that told everyone she wanted to be paid attention to. She was getting much better at that, and it all seemed to be happening so fast.
Owen had missed enough of her life that he was always surprised when she knew how to do things. He didn’t want to miss any more.
Jude chuckled. “If you eat it now, it’ll burn your little mouth,” he explained. “And we don’t want that, do we?”
Kayla looked at him, maintaining eye contact for a solid few seconds before turning to look up at Owen instead.
“Oh, you think I’m an easier mark, huh? Jude’s the mean daddy and I’m the one who gives you everything you want ‘cause I’m a sucker.”
“I’ll get you a spoon,” Jude said, getting up. “Have you seen her walk before? She got up for a few minutes earlier today.”
Owen looked up. “Really? Walking already?”
“She turned a year old just before you came home, right?”
“Right, yeah,” Owen said.
“Then she’s right on schedule. She seemed confident about it, but she’s faster at crawling.” Jude returned with one of Kayla’s plastic spoons.
“Huh.” Owen bounced Kayla again, then shifted her weight so she was leaning against his chest. “I should have looked all this up by now, shouldn’t I?”
Jude shrugged. “I can be the research daddy. If it’s okay for me to call myself that. Daddy, I mean.”
Owen looked up. He’d done it automatically, but now that he was looking at Jude’s face, he could see how much the title meant to him. “Of course. You spend as much time with her as I do these days. I think you’ve earned it.”
“Good,” Jude said, glowing as he handed over the plastic spoon. “I like the sound of it.”
“I like the sound of it, too,” Owen agreed.
He never once thought that he’d have Jude with him on this journey, but now that he did, he was glad Jude was here.
“You think those initials are still there?” Owen asked.
“The bark grew over them,” Jude said. “I checked a few years ago.”
“Just like we grew up, I guess.” Owen offered Kayla a spoonful of rice, which she reached out for with both hands, babbling eagerly.
“Yeah, but they’re still under the bark. They’re not gone. Or forgotten.”
“I guess not,” Owen said.
He had forgotten just how much Jude meant to him as a kid, but he was starting to remember.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Waking up to Owen wrapped around him was quickly becoming Jude’s favorite part of the day, even though it had only happened twice. Owen was warm, and his arms were strong, and he clung to Jude as if he were a life raft in a storm.
Everything about it was great.
“Mornin
g,” Owen mumbled as Jude stirred. He sounded no more than half-awake.
Lower down, he felt much more awake. Jude licked his lips, rocking back cautiously against him.
He was fairly sure that Owen’s confidence was the main thing between them and really great sex, so catching him in the morning might be the answer to getting over that hurdle. Coming in your pants wasn’t nearly the same as slow, sleepy morning sex.
Jude wriggled to loosen Owen’s grip on him and turned to face him, humming softly as he leaned in and kiss the tip of Owen’s nose, then pressed their lips together.
“Morning,” Jude murmured softly against Owen’s lips, unable to stop himself from smiling. He could feel Owen’s cock pressing against the soft part of his belly, hot even against Jude’s sleep-warm skin.
Owen moved one hand down to Jude’s ass, digging his fingers in to hold him in place. The sensation went straight to Jude’s cock, making him buck his hips toward Owen for more friction, more of whatever he was ready to give.
“You feel so good,” Jude whispered, burying his face in Owen’s neck to breathe in his scent, suck on his pulse, get as close to him as possible.
Owen gasped, a needy whine coming from the back of his throat as Jude worried the delicate skin of his neck with his teeth. Jude hitched the hem of Owen’s plain white t-shirt up, pressing his cold fingertips into his belly to make him hiss, rocking his hips forward.
Across the hall, Kayla let out a cry that Jude was sure half the street would have heard.
He sighed, rolling away from Owen. Any intentions he had for Owen faded away as Kayla tugged on his heartstrings, her demand for attention too important to ignore.
He couldn’t bring himself to be upset with Kayla. She was only a baby, she had no idea what she was interrupting, and she was probably crying for a reason.
“I’ll go,” Jude said, sitting up on the edge of the bed. “Might as well start taking turns.”
“You really don’t have to,” Owen responded, sitting up and blinking owlishly in the light streaming through the curtains.
“I want to.” Jude thought about looking for Owen’s sweat pants to wear, but it wasn’t that cold in the house, and Kayla wouldn’t care if he was only wearing a t-shirt and underwear. That was the good thing about babies. They didn’t judge you as long as you provided food and warmth.
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