by Cher Carson
“I’m talking about leaving Brant, moving away.” She sighed. “I could start over some where no one knows me or has any preconceived ideas about who I am.”
He was dying inside. The thought of never seeing Jess again… “You can’t do that. I won’t let you.” Even as he said it, he knew he was powerless. She was a grown woman, and in spite of what he or her family thought, she could pack up her car and be gone by sunset.
She pushed against his chest and stepped out of his arms. “You continue to push me, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” She pointed a finger at him. “Consider this fair warning, McCoy. You do one more thing to interfere in my life, and I’ll be gone so fast you’ll be choking on my dust.”
Chapter Nine
“Can you believe she’s actually gonna go through with this?” Tucker muttered before bringing the beer bottle to his lips. “I could wring her neck.”
Jake shared his friend’s opinion about Jessica’s stage debut, but after the warning she issued, he knew he couldn’t stop her.
Jake pointed to a gorgeous redhead on the other side of the bar, talking to Dixie. “That’s her dance instructor, Rachel. She must have come to give her a little moral support. Maybe that means she’s havin’ second thoughts?” He would make a deal with the devil if only Jessica would reconsider this hare-brained cry for attention. She already had his attention; little did she know she’d had it for a long, long time now.
“That’s her?” Tucker asked, narrowing his eyes at the little lady in question.
“Uh yeah, but…”
Before Jake could stop him, Tucker stalked across the bar and grabbed the woman’s arm to get her attention.
Jake saw the haunted look in her bright green eyes before she looked up at Tucker. She was terrified, and he knew from experience a painful story had to be behind her fear.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing corrupting my baby sister?” Tucker shouted.
Dixie shoved Tucker’s shoulder. “Back the hell off, Chief. Jessie took those dance lessons because she wanted to. Rachel didn’t have to twist her arm. Besides, lots of the girls have been taking lessons, trying to get ready for the big event.”
Rachel squared her shoulders and cleared her throat, obviously trying to appear braver than she felt. “You’re Jessica’s brother, the chief of police?”
“That’s right, and I’m still waiting for an answer. What gives you the right to come into our town and prey on young, innocent girls just to turn a fast buck?”
Tucker was a hothead, but this was going overboard, even for him, Jake thought. He didn’t know Rachel well, but he got the impression she was a good person who was just trying to make an honest living.
Jake interceded, grabbing Tucker’s shoulder. “Hey, leave her alone, man. Like Dixie said, this isn’t Rachel’s fault. This was Jessica’s decision.”
Tucker turned on him. “I thought you were on my side? I thought you hated this as much as I do?”
No one else in Brant County had the nerve to stand up to their chief when he was this riled up, but Jake wasn’t one to back down. “I do, but I don’t think we have the right to blame Rachel for any of this.”
Tucker thrust a finger in Rachel’s direction and Jake noticed the color drain from her face as she took a step back. “If she hadn’t come here, offering those damned lessons, my sister wouldn’t even think about getting up there, half-naked, to put on a show for these drunks and dirtbags.”
“For Christ’s sake, would you get a hold of yourself?” Jake muttered as he grabbed Tucker by the arm and led him back to their side of the bar. He sighed. “Look, I’m not any happier about this than you are, but we have to give your sister a little space. If we don’t…” Jake didn’t even want to think about her threat. He couldn’t lose her, not now.
“What the hell’s goin’ on with you, man? There’s something you’re not telling me. What is it?”
Jake respected Jess too much to tell her brother they’d slept together. Jake was sparing his friend the details as much for his benefit as for Jessica’s. There were certain things a man didn’t ever want to hear about his little sister. As an over-protective big brother himself, Jake had learned that lesson the hard way.
“Jess mentioned she was thinking about leaving Brant. I don’t want that to happen, and I don’t think you do either. Am I right?”
Tucker reclaimed the barstool he’d vacated in a fit of anger. “What’re you talking about? Where’s she planning on going?”
“I don’t know.” Jake set his elbows on the bar and hung his head. “She said we’re all smothering her. She can’t take it anymore.”
Tucker scowled. “There’s a big difference between trying to protect someone you love and smothering her. What the hell is wrong with that girl, Jake?” He sighed. “Why can’t she just settle down with a nice guy like Phil and quit giving me grief?”
Jake slapped his friend on the back a little harder than he intended. “You’re missing my point. She doesn’t want you or any of us interfering in her life from now on. That means, you quit trying to set her up with guys you think would be right for her.” If his buddy didn’t stop playing matchmaker, they were going to have big problems.
Both men watched Dixie take the stage to announce the main event.
Sitting back, watching Jessica flaunt her stuff, with both hands tied behind his back, was going to be torture for Jake, and he had no doubt Jessica knew it.
“Hey, boys,” Ava said, slapping Tucker on the back. “I didn’t expect to see you guys here.” She winked at Jake. “Are you here to support her or try and stop her?”
Tucker rolled his eyes. “I sure as hell can’t condone this bullshit. Tell me something, Ava. What the hell has gotten into my baby sister lately? Why is she so goddamn rebellious all of a sudden?”
Ava looked at Jake before responding. “I think she’s just tired of everyone treating her like a kid who needs to be protected from the big, bad world. She’s a big girl. She knows what she wants, and she’s finally ready to take ownership of her life. I, for one, am proud of her. I think you should be too.”
“Tell me something. Has she ever mentioned Phil to you? Do you think she’s into him, or what?”
“For Christ’s sake, would you give it a rest, Tucker?” Jake said before taking a pull of his beer.
Ava smirked. “She might be… who knows? I think she’s willing to give him a chance, see where it might lead.”
Jake had a feeling Ava was baiting him, but with Tucker sitting between them, he could say or do little in response.
“You really think she likes Phil?” Jake asked. He didn’t believe that for a second. Jess had been into him forever, and he and Phil were as different as two men could be.
Ava smiled. “I know she likes him. She told me so.”
Jake glared at her behind Tucker’s back. She was definitely playing with him, trying to get a rise out of him, maybe trying to get him to come clean with Jessica’s brother about where their relationship stood. “Nice try, Ava. It’s not going to work.”
Tucker turned around, frowning at him. “What’s not going to work?”
“Sssh.” Ava pointed at the stage. “Jess is up first. I don’t want to miss this.”
Jake would give anything to miss this, but he couldn’t tear himself away. It was almost like driving by a car crash with the same morbid curiosity as other motorists. His draw dropped when Jess sauntered on to the stage. The get-up, make-up, sky high heels… that wasn’t his Jessica; he didn’t even recognize that woman.
“Son of a bitch,” he muttered, transfixed. He couldn’t look away, no matter how much he wanted to. She was mesmerizing.
“Wow,” Ava whispered. “She looks amazing.”
Judging by the reaction of the men crowding the dance floor, hooting, hollering, and throwing money on the stage, most seemed to share Ava’s opinion.
Tucker turned around, bracing his elbows on the bar as he covered his face with both
hands. “I can’t watch this.”
Jessica was incredible, sexy and graceful, as she teased and taunted her captivated audience.
Jake wanted to run up there, throw her over his shoulder, and drag her kicking and screaming to his truck, but after the warning she issued, he knew he couldn’t risk it. He glanced across the bar to see Rachel beaming, giving her two thumbs up, but Jessica didn’t look like she needed any encouragement.
She was a different person up on that stage, not the sweet little innocent he’d known most of her life. She was transformed into the sexy little siren that lit his bed on fire. He clenched the beer bottle as he realized he didn’t want anyone else to see that side of her, ever. He didn’t mind if she revealed that side of herself to him, behind closed doors, but not to a roomful of horny men.
“Fuck this,” Jake muttered, stalking across the bar. He pushed his way through the crowd, and by the time he finally reached the side of the stage, her song was ending and he was beyond livid. He grabbed her hand as she walked down the steps. “Let’s go, and don’t even think about arguing with me.”
“But I want to know if I won the first round,” Jessica said.
“Your first round is gonna be your last goddamn round, so it doesn’t matter.”
She pulled against his hand, trying to force him to release his grip. “Didn’t you hear anything I said to you at my office? I’ll leave, I swear to God, I will.”
He cursed and glowered at the raucous applause she received as she made her way through the bar, but when some stranger wearing a cowboy hat and ripped jeans grabbed a handful of her ass, Jake saw red. He grabbed the front of the guy’s t-shirt while maintaining his grip on Jessica’s other hand. “You keep your fuckin’ hands to yourself, you dirtbag.”
The guy raised his hands. “Relax, man, I don’t want no trouble.”
“You’re gonna be in for a world of trouble if you ever put your hands on her again, got it?”
He eyed the gun strapped to Jake’s waist as he swallowed convulsively. “Yeah, I got it. I’ll keep my distance. No worries, man, no worries.”
Jake released his shirt, shoving him back into a crowd of men who threw him into someone else. A fight might break out as a result, but he knew Tucker could handle it. He had bigger problems right now.
He dragged Jessica across the parking lot by the hand as he cursed a blue streak.
“Would you stop?” Jessica shouted. “You can’t just abduct me like this!”
“Oh yeah? Just watch me, sweetness.” He opened the truck door and ushered her inside without giving her time to argue.
She crossed her arms and glared out the passenger’s window. “I can’t believe you did that.”
She might think she was angry, but it was nothing compared to the fury consuming him. “I’d suggest you keep your mouth shut right now.”
She gaped at him as though she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Who the hell are you to—”
“Stop!” he roared, slamming his palm into the steering wheel. He tore out of the parking lot, barely stopping at the stop sign. “I don’t like feeling helpless, Jessica; you should know that by now. You had me sitting in there, bound and gagged, and now you’re gonna find out what that little stunt is gonna cost you.”
He’d lay down his own life before he ever hurt her, they both knew that. But it was time to set some ground rules because he was never going to go through that again.
“You’re overstepping, Jake. You don’t have the right to dictate to me. You’re not my husband; hell, you’re not even my boyfriend.”
He clenched his jaw in frustration. It would take some time before he felt comfortable going public with their relationship. First he had to talk to his son about it, find out how he would feel about his daddy having a new woman in his life, especially when that woman was Jessica. Jared had been through so much the past year, he couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him more.
He gripped the steering wheel as he forced himself to draw a few deep breaths. “I’m your lover, and I think that gives me some rights.”
“You’re not my lover. We only slept together once.”
“Yeah, well, we’re about to remedy that right now.” He needed to get her alone, in his bed. He had to make her come apart in his arms, with his name on her lips, to prove to her that she still belonged to him, that she would always belong to him. The thought of losing her was killing him. He felt so out-of-control. He needed to do something to recapture the girl who’d spent her life loving him.
She chuckled. “You actually think I’m going to fuck you tonight?”
Jake reached across the seat to grab her silky smooth leg. “No, I think you’re going to let me make love to you,” he whispered. He knew taking her in a fit of anger wasn’t the best way to re-connect with her. He had to be sweet and gentle. He had to remind her of the guy she fell in love with all those years ago.
“Please, baby, I need you tonight.” It scared him just how much he needed her. He’d fallen into fantasies about their night together every time sleep claimed him and he woke up reaching for her and cursing softly when he realized he was alone. “Don’t deny me…” He brought her hand to his lips. “Don’t deny us.”
She looked into his eyes and sighed. “Why can’t I resist you?”
“I think you know why,” he said, kissing her palm. He needed to hear her say it. “You said it yourself; you’re in love with me.”
She shook her head, looking sad. “No, I was in love with a fantasy, not a man, Jake.”
His gut clenched as he eased the big truck into his driveway. “Are you saying you didn’t mean it?” he asked as he cut the engine. He felt the pungent taste of fear rise up in his throat as he held his breath, waiting for her answer.
“I meant it when I said it, but…”
He closed his eyes and tipped his back against the headrest. “But what?” He felt her slipping away from him. She was with him in body, but her heart was somewhere else, and he didn’t know how to get it back.
“I realized something that night we were together.”
“What’s that?” He didn’t think he wanted to hear this, but he’d never been a coward. No matter how hard it was for him to face the truth, he didn’t have a choice. He’d waited too long to tell her how he felt about her, and now she was telling him it was too late.
“I realized I don’t need a man to fulfill my childhood fantasies. I just need a life partner, someone who’s kind and gentle. Who loves me and supports me, who wants to be my husband and the father of my children.”
He opened his eyes to find her looking at him.
“I want to find that man, Jake, but I don’t think he’s here in Brant. No one can even get close to me here, with you hovering in the background, trying to protect me, trying to prevent me from moving on with my life.”
He’d been shot in the line of duty during a botched robbery once, but he had no idea mere words could hurt more than a bullet until this moment. Her words ricocheted through him before finally piercing his heart. “I want you to be happy. I do.”
“Then let me go, please,” she whispered.
“I don’t know if I can, Jessie.” Jessie was his son’s name for her, and it reminded him of all the people who would miss her if she felt she had to leave her home because of him. “Please, don’t go. If you want me to keep my distance, I will.”
She sighed. “How can I believe that? You were supposed to give me some space tonight, but you came riding to my rescue, yet again. You’re trying to save me from myself, but when are you going to understand that you’re the one I need protection from? You’re the one who continues to hurt me, over and over again.”
“Honey, please—”
She touched her fingertips against his lips to silence him. “Do you know what it did to me, seeing you fall in love with Diane, watching you marry her?” She closed her eyes as though the memory was too painful. “I sat in the back of the church and watched you take those vows, and
I remember thinking, why can’t that be me standing up there with him? Why can’t he love me the way he loves her?”
“Sweetness, you were so young. I couldn’t allow myself to think of you that way. Your daddy and your brother would have come after me with a shotgun.”
“I was old enough to know how I felt, what I wanted.” She sighed. “It was you. It was always you, Jake. There was never anyone else for me. I never let anyone in. I didn’t want to fall in love with anyone else because I wanted to hold on to the belief that you were gonna come around someday.”
Jake didn’t want to hear this. He wasn’t ready to acknowledge the pain he’d caused her. How could he blame her for wanting to put some distance between them when he didn’t feel fit to breathe the same air as her anymore?
“And then Jared came along, and I didn’t want to fall in love with that little boy, but I did because he was a part of you, the best part of you.”
He felt terrible knowing that she’d given her heart to his little boy, knowing that it would only hurt her more. “I’m sorry. Jesus, I’m sorry I was so blind, baby.” Why didn’t he try and protect her from herself? He knew why. He was too busy trying to keep her from falling in love with someone else. He’d been unbelievably selfish, married with a child, but he still wanted to know that she was saving all of her love for him. “I hate what I did to you.”
“Please don’t misunderstand, Jake. Some of the best memories I have are times I spent with you. Going to the movies, out for dinner, all those impromptu nights out that meant nothing to you meant everything to me. You taught me how a man is supposed to treat a lady, and now I’m ready to go and find a man who’ll treat me that way, with the same love and respect you did.” She smiled at him. “You may not have been in love with me, but you made me feel loved and cherished every time we were together.”
He knew she would find that man in no time. She was sweet and smart, sassy and sexy, every man’s fantasy. They would line up for the chance to be with her. “Jess…” He cleared his throat. “I don’t know how to let you go.”