Interracial Desires: BWWM Multicultural Romance Box Set

by Tamara Black

  * * *

  The next day, the shooting was the talk of the hood. I took Terry out in a stroller as much as possible just to get us both out of our small, one bedroom apartment. I wished I had better all the time, but I didn't complain. I knew a lot of others had it much worse, especially those in the towers. Chiraq was a rough city, and keeping my ear to the ground made a lot of sense so I could protect my family.

  As I was headed to Lacrecia's apartment a few blocks over to get the latest scoop, Trey walked up and stopped right in front of the stroller. I put my right hand on my hip and stared at him. He laughed and reached out to touch my arm as he continued to talk on his cell phone. If I could have gotten around him and down the street without him getting upset, I would have tried.

  “What you want?” I asked.

  “Hold on,” he said into the phone then looked straight into my eyes. “Shut the fuck up and wait.”

  Inside my mind exploded, but I kept my mouth shut. His words and attitude toward me were noticed by Terry. I couldn't imagine what was going through his mind as I bit my lip and waited for him to get off the phone. As he spit his game and laughed on the phone, I bent down to check on the little boy he had helped bring into the world. My biggest fear was that he would try to take Terry from me.

  “Aight then. Later, girl,” he said then lowered his phone and looked at me. “You looking fine, Leah.”

  “Don't get any ideas, Trey. I'm in a hurry. What you want?”

  “I just wanted to see little man.”

  He bent down and offered his fist, which Terry bumped with his. As per our agreement, Trey had never said he was the father. In exchange, I let him see him every once and again. I had stopped sleeping with him because I knew he was messing around with a lot of bitches around the neighborhood. So far, he was okay with the fact he couldn't have me.

  Don't get me wrong. He had a smoking hot body and he knew how to use what he had between his legs. Some of the best sex I ever had was with him, but he was a bad boy to the bone. And shit like that wasn't going to work in front of Terry. My son was my world, and I wanted him to gain enough experience to level up when he graduated high school, something I never completed myself.

  I looked over at Trey as he talked to his son then finally broke out of my thoughts and stood back up. Trey did the same, adjusting his baggy and saggy jeans. He was shirtless, and his muscles rippled in the sunlight. Why couldn't he have been smarter or kinder? I wondered as we stared each other down. Then he moved forward to try to hug me.

  “No, not here,” I said, stepping back and nodding my head down at the stroller.

  “Aight. We gonna talk soon. I been thinking up some next level shit for me. Imma build an empire for that boy right there.”

  He pounded his chest with his fist. I nodded my head, trying my hardest not to provoke him.

  “Can I go now?”

  “Yeah...”

  I grabbed hold of the stroller and headed down the street. A short while later, I saw Lacrecia sitting on her stoop with three other women. They looked me over cautiously as I walked up then stopped in front of them.

  “How you doing, girl?” I asked Lecrecia while ignoring the other two.

  “I'm fine. I was just saying Trey looking good these days.”

  “He's a little young for you, no?” I smiled.

  “Not at all. He just how I like 'em.”

  She smiled. In my mind, I knew Trey would never go for her because she was thirty-five years old, the oldest in my circle of friends. In Englewood, you had to have the right friends if you wanted to survive. Lacrecia was rough around the edges, but I knew she had my back.

  “You hear anything about last night?” I asked.

  “You some kind of reporter or cop now?” one of the other women snapped.

  “Please. That shit happened two houses down. I'm just worried about Terry.”

  “How he doin'?” Lacrecia asked.

  “Good. Another year and he'll be in school. I can't wait.”

  “You gonna miss him,” she said with a smile.

  “You right.”

  “You girls leave, okay? I'm going in with Leah.”

  The others each scowled at me as they got up off the porch and headed down the street. I backed the stroller up onto the porch and into her apartment. Lacrecia and I talked for a while. I left an hour later feeling a little better even though I hadn't found out any specific information about what had happened the night before. She wasn't worried, so I wasn't concerned.

  Two

  Matt

  Right after graduating college, I realized it was easy to get lost in social work. Alyssa broke up with me two days before finals. I passed all my classes, but I was devastated emotionally. I'd given the woman all of my love for four years of my life, but she met someone who had more money than me and left. I got a job in Downtown Chicago and threw myself into my work helping others.

  I ran a hand over my shaved head as I studied the application in front of me. The woman who had filled it out had tried to write clearly, but I couldn't make heads or tails of the scribbles on the page. I looked up from the paper and smiled, knowing I'd have to walk her through the process. It would take time, but it was the only way she was going to get assistance.

  “Why don't we start over from the beginning, okay?”

  “Something wrong?”

  Instead of telling her bluntly that I had no idea what she'd written on the application, I offered another smile and took a deep breath.

  “No, not at all. My boss is going to yell if I don't have this filled out myself. It's a rule. My fault, not yours.”

  She stared at me carefully with her head slightly tilted for a moment. “Okay, let's do it.”

  Line by line and box by box, I led her through the application to get assistance with furthering her education. She had to start with a basic G.E.D., but even that would help. Large corporations were begging Congress to allow more people with technical skills into the country instead of helping the Americans who lacked access to acceptable education.

  By the time we were done, it was well over an hour after I should have left for home. Latoya thanked me profusely then left. I finished up the work I'd missed by helping her then went to the break room to retrieve my empty lunch bag made out of hemp. A familiar aluminum foil brick was on the table. I walked over, picked it up, and took a big sniff. The smell of bananas and nuts was wonderful.

  A small note on the table said it was from Mrs. Green, whose daughter had gotten a full ride scholarship. I kept telling her that it was her daughter and not me that had gotten the scholarship, but she made sure I always had some sort of baked good. With the actual hourly salary I received well below the minimum wage, my supervisors looked the other way when people gave us small gifts.

  The system wasn't perfect, but it worked. People were helped even if I was just a part of the bureaucracy, a single cog in the machine. And it was really up to the people I tried to help. I unwrapped one end of the banana bread, unable to resist any longer. She had walnuts as well as chocolate chips, a wonderful mix. I ate two bites slowly then wrapped the foil over it again.

  On my bike ride home, I fought off memories of college and Alyssa. She had done a number on me. When I got to my loft and hung my bike on a rack on one of the walls, I took a deep breath and tried to relax. I'd brought a lot of paperwork from the center, which would help me forget my problems for a while. Helping others was my drug of choice.

  THREE

  Leah

  Just two days after the shooting on my street, everything was back to normal. Well, except for the fact that I knew I had to get some help to find a job. I was so inspired by what had happened, I actually got Terry dressed up in the stroller to take him to the library to look for a job. West Englewood Library was only about eighteen blocks away, but I decided to take the bus.

  On the ride, Terry started to throw a fit. By the time I got his settled down, we'd arrived at our destination. Getting him and the str
oller off the bus got him crying all over again. I slipped him a small piece of chocolate then rolled him inside. The computers were all in use, which didn't really surprise me. I thought about waiting for one to open up, but I had other errands to run as well.

  Luckily, the other stop I had to make was just a couple blocks away. Some charity or another had opened up an old building and were helping families in Englewood. I'd heard about them months ago, but I'd never made it down to see them. After the shooting just outside, I was motivated to get whatever help I could to get the hell out of the neighborhood. It was the only way to keep Terry safe.

  “You okay, little man?”

  I stopped to bend down and check on him. He had a huge smile on his face. When he looked at me, I finally knew what real love felt like. After a quick kiss on his forehead, I stood back up and continued to the brick building that had been converted to Chitown Shares, a non-profit group that had appeared in the neighborhood along with so many others.

  When I got to the address, I almost just kept walking and didn't go in. Did I have what it took to succeed and escape from Englewood? I wasn't sure until I looked down at Terry in his stroller. In that moment, I knew I had to do whatever it took to get him a better life. If I failed, he would most likely grow up to be like his father. And that wasn't good for anyone.

  The entrance to the building didn't have a ramp, so I turned the stroller around and slowly pulled it up step by step. When I was finally inside, I saw a crowded waiting room. I noticed a few of the faces, but I didn't say anything as I made my way to the receptionist desk. A woman younger and whiter than me looked up as I approached.

  “Can I help you?”

  “I wanted to get some assistance with school.”

  “We can help. Just fill out this form and bring it back to me.”

  I took the clipboard then rolled Terry to one of two available seats. I rocked him backward and forward with my foot, hoping he would be able to sleep while I filled out the forms. The cheap pen chained to the portable writing surface wasn't cooperating with me very well, and it took about twenty minutes to fill out the form. By then, three or four people had been called to one of the offices in the building.

  “Here you go. Do you know how long the wait will be?”

  “We'll get to you as soon as possible,” the woman replied.

  Did she just try to scold me for being impatient? I asked myself as I took a deep breath and tried to relax. My temper got away from me easily, but I tried to keep it under control when Terry was around. I didn't want him to see his mother as a wild woman of the streets always throwing down and causing a scene. I was his only role model, and I had to take that seriously.

  I returned to one of the uncomfortable chairs and sat down with Terry, still in the stroller, facing me this time. He smiled and laughed as I made funny faces at him. A few minutes later, they called my name. I made my way down a long hallway to a very tiny office. The stroller almost didn't fit through the door. After backing it in, I turned and saw a man in a white dress shirt and jacket.

  He didn't have a tie on, and his hair was shaved close to his skull. I smiled as I pulled the stroller a little closer to his desk. His hand reached over as he looked me in the eyes. He used a light grip when I shook his hand then sat down in the chair across from him. When he sat down, I got the impression that he was very new at his job and more than a little bit nervous.

  “How can I help you today?” he asked.

  Didn't he know already? I wondered. “I need some help with school. I want to get a better job.”

  “That's good, that's good, I think I can help.”

  He adjusted some papers on his desk then picked up one sheet. “It says you have a high school degree.”

  “Yeah? And?”

  “That's a good thing.”

  He looked over the top of the paper at me briefly then returned to the form I'd filled out.

  “This going to take a long time?”

  “Today or in general?”

  “Today. I need to get Terry home soon.”

  “Terry?”

  I nodded my head at the stroller.

  “Oh, I see. Such a cute baby.” He smiled at Terry then looked back at me. “Well, we can keep today short, but I'm not going to have help for you right away. There's a process.”

  I had figured as much. So many people said they wanted to help, but there was always a process, hoops to jump through to get any assistance at all. I knew how the game worked, so I kept my mouth shut. He glanced at the paper a few more moments then set it down.

  “I don't see any major problems. I'll get started trying to find you something. Anything you're interested in studying?”

  “I just need to be able to get a good job that pays well so I can get my kid out of here.”

  He nodded solemnly, as if he really cared. “Well, like I said, I can help, but it's going to take time.”

  “I'm not afraid of working,” I said, a little too defensively.

  “I know, I know. I didn't say you were, but I want to get an idea of what you would enjoy doing.”

  I chuckled. “I really don't care as long as I can make enough to get Terry a better life.”

  “I have your information now, so give me a day or so, and I'll see what I can put together.”

  “That's all?”

  “Yeah.”

  He stood up. I did the same.

  “Okay, I don't have a phone, but I'll come back next week or sooner if you want.”

  “Well, it depends on what I can find for you, deadlines to apply and all that, but I should be able to help you find something quickly.”

  “I hope so. Someone was shot two houses down from me the other night.”

  A frown formed on his face. “That's horrible. I'm sorry to hear it.”

  “Yeah, me too. It's Englewood.”

  I headed toward the door, pulling Terry behind me.

  “Thanks again,” I said with a wave then left.

  I decided to walk back to the apartment instead of dealing with the hassle of taking a bus. Terry didn't seem to mind. He babbled the whole way home. I was tired when I got back, but I felt a small glimmer of hope. Something about Matt, my caseworker, was a little different. I couldn't put my finger on it, but he made me feel like he really cared and that it was all going to be okay.

  FOUR

  Matt

  As soon as Leah left my office, I sat back down and sighed. Women like her were why I'd gotten into social work in the first place. I admired her for trying to do something to make life better for her child. For the rest of the afternoon, I spent all my time searching for some program to help her. When the workday was over, I still hadn't found anything.

  Undeterred, I started searching online and reaching out at my loft. I ordered a pizza and dug into the work. Not only did I have to find a suitable program to help her, I had to make sure it was one that she had a good chance of getting if she applied. I'd seen too many people give up when I couldn't find them something right away.

  Just before midnight, I came across the Single Mother Scholarship, which was perfect for her. While she would have a lot of competition, it would be her best shot at going back to school and making a better life for her and her baby. The only problem was that the deadline for applying was the end of the week. She had to act fast.

  The next day, back at the office, I remembered that she didn't have a phone. I decided to break protocol and bring the packet of information to her so that she could fill it out and at least apply for the grant. With a little luck and a phone call or two to call in a favor, I might be able to actually give her enough assistance so that she could stand on her own two feet.

  “Rachel, I'm going to deliver some papers down the street. I'll be back in a little bit.”

  “You be careful. It's a jungle out there.”

  I wanted to roll my eyes at her, but I just smiled and nodded on my way out. I'd grown up in South Chicago. I knew all too well that it was difficult to e
scape. Luckily, I'd had someone who believed in me enough to convince me to apply for a scholarship to get into college. My whole life had changed once I enrolled.

  As I walked down the street toward Leah's apartment, which was just a dozen or so blocks away, I started to think about Professor Jensen and how much of a difference he'd made in my life. Jacob was the reason I'd decided to study social services. I wanted to help other people the way he'd helped me. That's why I was walking through a drug infested neighborhood to go the extra mile.

  When I reached her block, two young black men with an orange bandana around their left arm walked over and stopped me.

  “Where you going?” one asked.

  “I'm here to help. I don't want any trouble.”

  “Well, you gonna get some fucking trouble if you don't tell us why you're here. You a cop?”

  “No, I'm not a cop.”

  “You a snitch?” the other asked.

  “Look, I'm just here to drop off some paperwork.”

  Just then, Leah walked up and saved my ass.

  FIVE

  Leah

  While sitting on the porch the next day, I heard a commotion down the street. I got up to look and saw two lookouts yelling at Matt. I couldn't believe my eyes at first. What the hell was he doing down by my house? Didn't he know Englewood wasn't safe for people like him? I picked up Terry. With him in one arm, I made my way down to the corner.

  “Hey Matt, you made it.”

  “He with you?” one of the gang-bangers asked.

  I nodded. “Yeah, why you gotta be hassling him?”

  “Bitch, you better...”

  “Man, that's Trey's woman,” the other interrupted as he punched the first guy in the arm.

  His eyes got wide as he looked at me. “I'm sorry. It's just that...”

  “Whatever,” I said then shook my head and frowned at them. “Come on, Matt. I got that paperwork filled out.”

  As we walked away, I turned and saw the one of the two take off running. I knew he was going to tell Trey, so I had to be quick. I turned to Matt as we walked.