by Tamara Black
“Why you come down here?”
“I found something else that might be useful to you, and I didn't feel right calling you out of the blue.”
“Well, next time you need to call first, okay?”
We made it to my porch.
“Come on inside,” I said, then opened the door and walked in.
A moment later, the odd white man was in my living room. I saw him look around briefly. Then his eyes moved to me. I bounced Terry up and down a little.
“What did you find out?”
“Oh, yeah. Good news. I think there's a program that could help you get a full ride to go back to school.”
“I ain't got time for all that.”
I nodded my head toward Terry.
“I know. That's the thing. This is one especially for single mothers. They take care of child care and everything. A lot of people are going to be applying, but I thought a slim chance is better than no chance.” He reached into the messenger bag slung over his shoulder and pulled out a packet of papers. “Here. I brought the application for you. The deadline is this Friday, which is why I had to bring it to you.”
“Thanks.”
I took the packet in my free hand. Then I heard Trey yelling as he approached.
“You're not going to understand this, but I need you to leave out the back door. It's not safe.”
“What?”
He looked around, as if the danger was in the same room with us.
“My baby's daddy is coming, and he's a really jealous man. A mean man.”
We made eye contact for a brief moment, and I felt drawn to him.
“Okay, I guess. Are you in danger?”
“No, but you are. I appreciate you coming, but he's a drug dealer and he don't fuck around.”
“I'll do it this time, for you, but we need to talk soon.”
“We will.”
I headed to the kitchen and the back door.
“Make sure you go down the alley then head back. Did you drive here?”
“No, I walked. You sure you're going to be okay?”
“I live here. You don't.”
“Well, call me, okay?”
“I will. I promise.”
I watched as he scurried down the back stairs and up the alley. Luckily, Trey and his gang of thugs weren't the smartest or smoothest criminals. I wasn't a genius, but so far I'd been able to out-think him whenever needed. Just as I closed the back door and locked it, I heard my front door open.
“Leah? Where you at?” Trey asked.
His voice was loud enough to make Terry start crying. Thinking quickly, I took the packet of papers and tossed them on top of one of the cabinets over the sink. It would be a bitch getting it down later, but I didn't need Trey to know I was thinking about escaping from Englewood no matter what it took.
SIX
Matt
I felt a little bad as I sneaked down the alley to return to the office. She was good at concealing her emotions, but I could sense that she was afraid. Should I have stayed to help? I wondered. If the police had to be called, I would have probably lost my job for showing up at her house. Then again, if I wanted to actually help people I had to bend the rules a little bit.
Back at the Chitown Shares building, I headed straight to my office. I'd used my lunch break to walk to deliver the paperwork to Leah, but I felt it was worth it. I snacked on a granola bar as I got back into the groove of helping people try to find assistance from other groups located throughout the city. I was able to see half a dozen before five o'clock rolled around.
After Rachel and the others left, I leaned back in my swivel chair in my office and thought about the events of the day. It had been a tough one, but I was sure that going the extra mile for Leah would help her out. As I stood to lock up the office and quit for the day, my office phone rang. I thought about not answering it for a brief moment, but by the second ring I'd picked up the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Matt, is that you?” Professor Jensen asked.
“Yeah, I was just on my way out.”
“Great. I wanted to catch you before you headed home. You have time for dinner tonight?”
“Sure, what's up?”
“Oh, nothing special, but I wanted to catch up. I miss you showing up late for all my classes.”
He laughed, which caused me to smile. “Okay. The usual spot?”
“That's perfect. About half an hour from now?”
“Works for me. Call my cell if I don't show up for some reason.”
“You're heading out now, right?”
“Yeah...” I forgot I'd told him I was leaving.
“Okay, I'll see you soon.”
I disconnected the call. Professor Jensen was still a big part of my life, but I really wasn't in the mood to have dinner with him. He would likely try to keep me out half the night drinking and remembering old times. What he didn't realize was that I was trying to move on with my life. I didn't want to remember my college years.
My appreciation for all he'd done to help me won the argument, and I headed to the Golden Song Chinese restaurant where we usually met. As I rode the bus back toward downtown, I told myself that I'd have to cut it short with him. Helping Leah find some assistance had taken a lot longer than I'd thought, and I was behind with a lot of my other cases.
When I got off the bus a block away from the restaurant, I thought about Alyssa and how much I missed her. She had dumped me for a rich man at a really bad time in my life, but I had forgiven her. Whenever I was in public and around a lot of people, I remembered being with her more. It was one of the reasons I'd become so much of a hermit when I wasn't concentrating on work.
“Matt, over here.”
I saw Professor Jensen wave at me. He was already seated at a table, which was good. The restaurant was already busy with a handful of people in the lobby waiting for a table. With good food and ridiculously low prices, the Golden Song was one of the more popular places to eat in the area. I waved and made my way over to him.
“You made it,” he said with a smile.
“Yeah, long day at work.”
I sat down and pushed the menu back as I already knew what I wanted.
“You doing okay?”
“Alright, I guess. Just overworked and underpaid. You know the deal.”
“I told you social work wasn't the way to go if you wanted to make money.”
“I know. And I told you I didn't care about making a lot of money.”
“Having second thoughts, are you?”
He smiled again.
“No, it's not that. Just a new person that needs help...”
“A him or her?”
“A her.”
“Ahhh, well, you need to be careful you don't cross any lines. Just follow your heart.”
Did he just wink at me? I thought just as the waiter walked up. I forgot about the incident. I'd long thought that Professor Jensen was gay, but we'd never talked about it openly. He was such a good teacher and mentor that I didn't care one way or the other about his sexual preferences.
We both ordered food. After the waiter walked away, we fell into conversation to catch up. He wasn't teaching any longer, but he didn't really mention what he was doing with his time. The first time I'd met him on campus, I knew there was something odd about him. I'd passed it off as him being a bit effeminate in his appearance and mannerisms, but there was more that I didn't know.
“Well, I have to get going,” I said after we'd finished eating.
“So soon?”
“Yeah, I have another big day tomorrow. This woman really needs help, and I think I'm the one to help her.”
“You're a good man, Matt. Don't be such a stranger. I got the bill.”
“You sure?”
“Please. Don't insult me. We'll talk again soon.”
“Okay.”
I stood up and left. Instead of hopping on the bus, I decided to walk the half dozen blocks to my apartment. The loft I'd fou
nd thanks to help from Professor Jensen was huge but affordable because it wasn't in the nicest neighborhood and hadn't been fully converted from whatever type of building it had been in the past. I liked the raw, unfinished feel.
About a block away, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but I answered.
SEVEN
Leah
“Who was that white guy?” Trey asked.
“Can you ask your thugs to leave my house, please? I don't want them around Terry.”
He nodded his head and the two lookouts left, lingering outside on the porch.
“Now you gonna tell me about that white guy coming to see you? He some sort of cop asking about the other night?”
“No.” I rolled my eyes. “Who told you that?”
“I just been hearing things on the street and now my guys say you got someone visiting you, someone who ain't from around here.”
“He works at Chitown Shares.”
He laughed. “What the fuck is that?”
“They're going to help me go back to school.”
“Back to school? What the fuck for?”
“Will you please not use that language around Terry?”
I knew I could tell him that as long as none of his boys were around.
“Around who?”
“Terry.”
“And who is Terry?”
“Your son,” I hissed.
“Damn straight he's my son. He gonna take my place someday.”
“He's not going to be your heir.”
“My what?”
“Your heir, the son who takes your place.”
“Damn, Leah. Don't sound like you need no more schooling.”
He smiled and moved forward. I took two steps back then ran into a wall.
“It's none of your damn business what I do anymore,” I said, taking a step forward so I couldn't be cornered.
“If it concern Terry, my son, it is my damn business. If that white guy come back, he gonna get got.”
With that said, he left. After he was gone, I thought long and hard about what I should do. While I needed help to get an education to work my way out of Englewood, I didn't want to get Matt hurt. I had to call him and warn him not to come over to my apartment anymore. If he even stepped within a two block radius, Trey would find out.
On the other hand, Matt might get mad if I told him not to come over after all he'd done for me. My stomach was twisted up in knots as I sat on my couch and watched Terry play on the living room floor. I wished for a moment that I could see the world through his eyes, if even just for a moment or two. He was so innocent. I was sure he saw life differently.
I got up to make dinner a little later, still without an answer. Every time I thought I'd made up my mind, I changed it back. No matter what I did, I was fucked. But if I called Matt and told him not to come around, he'd be safe at least. I played with the mac and cheese on my plate instead of eating it. Terry played with his food as well.
Eventually, I made up my mind. I carried Terry next door to Mrs. Jackson's house. She was the nicest lady I'd ever met in my entire life. I didn't like to ask her for favors very often, but this was an emergency. I had to let Matt know not to come over to my apartment so nothing happened to him. The last thing I needed was Trey getting thrown in jail and some other young fool trying to run the block.
“Thank you so much. I won't be long,” I said.
“It's okay, dear. I feel for you with the child all by yourself.”
I smiled and picked up the receiver to her old rotary phone. One by one, I turned the numbers. A moment later, it rang. As I waited for an answer, I put the piece of paper with Matt's number back into the back pocket of my jeans. He'd told me to call his cell if I ever needed anything. I was sure at the time that he hadn't been sincere, but I didn't care. Warning him was more important.
“Hello?”
“Matt, is that you?”
“Yeah, it's me. Who is this?”
“Leah. From earlier today.”
“Oh, yeah. Hello. I didn't recognize your voice.”
“It's okay. Where are you at?”
“I'm walking home, actually. What about you?”
“I'm at a neighbor's house. Look, I can't talk long. I just need you to promise not to come over anymore, okay?”
“What? Why? Did something happen?”
“No, not yet, but I'm trying to avoid something happening.”
I wanted to give him more specifics, but Mrs. Jackson was watching me and listening a few feet away.
“Well, why don't we do this. You come see me tomorrow at the office, and we'll get everything filled out for you.”
“I don't know...”
“Come on, what do you have to lose?”
Was he fucking kidding? I had a hell of a lot to lose if I wasn't careful.
“I'll think about it, okay? I just wanted to tell you it's not safe for you to come back here.”
“I don't know about all that, but alright, I guess.”
“I have to go, Matt. Thanks again. I appreciate it.”
With that, I hung up and hoped he got the message and didn't show back up at my apartment. Mrs. Jackson smiled and reached out one of her wrinkled hands to touch the top of Terry's head. He started screaming. I couldn't blame him. She was a bit scary looking. Anyone would be if they'd lived in the hood as long as her.
“Everything okay, dear?” she asked as I tried to get Terry to settle down.
“Oh, you know, just another day in Englewood.”
“I do know. That was horrible the other night. I'm actually thinking about moving to Ohio to live with my daughter.”
“No, say it ain't so. I'd hate it if you left the neighborhood.”
“You're sweet, dear, but I'm getting too old for all the drama.”
“That Chiraq Lullaby gets old after a while.”
“What, dear?”
“Oh, nothing,” I said, knowing it would take too long to explain the phrase to her. “Thanks again. I have to get him down for bed. I'll talk to you soon. You call me if you need anything, okay?”
I stopped at the door, half in and half out.
“Okay, dear. I will. You be safe.”
She waved, and I was gone. After I unlocked the door and was back in my apartment, I shut and locked all three locks. Terry was still being fussy. I knew he was ready for sleep, even if he couldn't verbalize his feelings. He was a lot like his father in that way. I smiled at myself as I got him into his pajamas and tucked him into the only bed in the only bedroom.
While he fell asleep, I crashed on the couch, which doubled as my bed. I wished I had more room in the apartment, but I could barely afford what I had let alone anything more. I'd live in a cardboard box or tent if it was in a better neighborhood. Without cable or even a television, I stared up at the ceiling and went over everything that had happened during the day in my mind before I fell asleep.
* * *
Terry woke me up, as usual. The events of the day before were still running through my mind, but I knew there was no changing the future. I had to move forward. And Matt was willing to help, so I had to take him up on his offer. After breakfast, I got Terry ready and left out the back door. I felt a little childish for taking the alley, but I didn't want any unnecessary trouble.
The walk was a nice one. When I arrived at the Chitown Shares building, I once again struggled to get Terry up the stairs in his stroller. Inside, I signed in with the receptionist then sat down in the lobby to wait my turn. Unlike the other day, Matt quickly appeared himself. He smiled as he crossed the room toward me, reminding me of an actor I couldn't put my finger on.
“How's it going, Leah?” he asked.
I stood up. “Not bad.”
“I'm glad you made it. Is this your boy?”
“Yeah, Terry.”
“How old are you?” he asked, crouching down so he was more on Terry's level.
Shy as ever, he hid behind me.
“He's four,”
I said. “A handful.”
“Want to come back?”
“Sure.”
I followed him through the waiting room and down the hallway to his office. He walked around his desk as I sat down in one of the two chairs in front of it. Terry sat in my lap, trying to crawl everywhere while I tried to concentrate.
“I hope the baby isn't too much trouble.”
“No, not at all.”
He waved his hand away from him.
“Is there a lot of paperwork? Do you think I really have a chance?”
“A lot of people are going to be applying, but with the right cover letters, I think you do have a shot.”
“Cover letters? I don't know anyone...”
“Don't worry about it. I have that part covered.”
His smile put me at ease as we went over all the paperwork I had to fill out. If I won the scholarship, I would have tuition, books, housing and everything else paid for me. It even included someone to watch Terry while I went to classes and studied. The whole thing was a dream.
“How did you find this?” I asked him.
“Oh, I did a lot of digging. It's brand new. This is the first one being given out.”
“Well, I really appreciate you taking the time...”
“Not a problem. It's sort of my job.”
“Anyone ever tell you that you look like Matt Damon?”
“What? No.”
He smiled and our eyes locked onto each other for a moment.
“You do. A little bit. Matt Damon mixed with Justin Timberlake maybe.”
“Okay, well, has anyone told you that you look like...”
“Go on,” I said, daring him to say the wrong word with just a look.
“You know, that one woman who was in that one movie where she did that one thing.”
“Very funny.”
“I'm just playing. You caught me off guard.”
“You gotta always be ready.”
“Yeah, that's why I'm helping you, actually.”
“What do you mean?”
“I grew up in a rough neighborhood. A lot of my friends were in gangs and got shot. My first girlfriend was shot and killed two weeks before prom.”