Interracial Desires: BWWM Multicultural Romance Box Set

by Tamara Black

  My books sold well, but I had to take some time to help her with anything she needed. When I first saw her holding Edmund, tears welled up in my eyes. The scene was something I had failed to capture in any of my books. If I captured that love on the page, I would sell a lot more stories and our lives would be secure financially.

  The nurse came and told me that Serena was asleep and that they’d taken the baby to the nursery. I could see him there through the window.

  I walked to the nursery. No other parents were around as I stared through the glass and found Edmund. He looked so peaceful in his small crib, preparing to face a harsh and unforgiving world. Was I ready to be a parent? I couldn't answer no because I admired his beauty, his simplicity, his need for me to step up to the plate and be a father to him. My thoughts gradually switched to his mother, the woman I thought I loved.

  Why was she accusing me of cheating? I was close to telling her about my book sales, how well they were going, but she needed to concentrate on recovering. I made me way back to Serena's room. Her face was also at peace as she slept. The chair a few feet away from her bed was very uncomfortable, but I didn't want to leave her side again.

  Somehow, I fell asleep. When I opened my eyes, she was sitting up in bed with our son in her hands again, his little lips suckling at her nipple. Her face was glowing. In that moment, I decided I would spend the rest of my life with her. No matter the cost, I would protect our family. I regretted not marrying her sooner.

  “Hey, I'm sorry about all the time...”

  “Don't worry about it,” she interrupted. “It's just been hard on me, and I'm not good at letting other people help me.”

  I nodded my head. We were in sync again. My life was about to get better and more difficult at the same time. Was I ready for my future?

  FIFTEEN

  Serena

  When I first arrived back at our apartment, joy filled me. After a few hours, reality kicked in. I realized the place we had been living in was just too small for the two of us. And I had to take care of the baby which was a full time job. Luke tried to be helpful, but I found it easier to just do things myself instead of waiting for him to learn how to do it the correct way.

  He soon went back to his old routine, locking himself in the extra room. Well, until I put my foot down and said we had to convert it into a nursery unless we got a bigger house. His reaction surprised me as he looked up from his desk. I stood in the doorway, holding the baby and rocking gently so Edmund would sleep.

  “Okay, we'll get a bigger place.” He said it like it had already happened.

  I rolled my eyes then turned and went back to the living room to sit with the baby. My paychecks still came in thanks to the maternity leave. Once I got back to work, however, I would need to get busy to make sure I kept the same income. The doctors had told me it would take about eight weeks before I was ready to go back, but I wanted to get it down to six.

  “Isn't that right, Edmund,” I said, talking to the only man in the house who paid me any attention. I knew he could read my mind.

  His smile instantly put me in a better place. Edmund was a lot of work, but I could see the world through his eyes, something amazing to behold. I had a lot of work to do to get back on top. With luck, Luke would step up and help more. We made a good team when we worked together.

  * * *

  “The laundry is done,” he said. “Anything else you need before I go get some work done?”

  “Will you watch your son, please?”

  I held our son toward him. After he took Edmund, I went straight to the bathroom and locked the door. A warm bubble bath was one of my few luxuries, and I intended to treat myself to some time alone to think and not worry about anything. Luke understood and tried to help as much as he could.

  I could hear him asking questions from the other room. I couldn’t make out exactly what he was asking, but I ignored him anyway. He had to develop some self-reliance.

  The more time that passed, the more I questioned if we were a good match. When it was just a sexual relationship, everything went wonderfully. Then the living together stage went okay, but it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. He didn’t take to everyday chores; I had to remind him to put trash I the trashcan. Now, with our baby, our lives still weren't getting better. Dirty diapers had to be dealt with immediately, and every time he touched one he crinkled up his nose.

  In fact, the argument could be made that we were drifting further apart. And that fact concerned me. He spent hours wrapped up in his writing. I wasn't sure he even noticed that I was unhappy with our relationship. Either that or he knew and just didn't care, which scared me even more..

  My breasts floated in the water. As I watched them, I wondered if it was my body that didn't turn him on anymore. Did he not like the way I looked? Christina popped back into my mind. We had only talked once or twice, but she looked nice. And she was white.

  Did Luke want a white woman and not someone like me? I wasn't even sure if I had a job to go back to in a few weeks, which made it even worse. Everything in my life was different, but not all of it was bad. Edmund was a joy. He was a special little boy. His eyes were brighter than a new penny.

  I struggled to sit up in the water then very slowly and carefully got to my feet. After I stepped out of the tub, I dried off and studied my reflection in the mirror. I tried to tighten up the little sag in my belly. My breasts were fuller than they’d ever been. The rest of my body was still fine in my mind, so I decided Luke must be having second thoughts. Whatever it took, I had to find out.

  SIXTEEN

  Luke

  When she got out of the bathroom, she walked into the living room in her robe and sat down on the couch. I held out the baby, hoping she would take him for a little while so I could work, but she just looked at me, shaking her head. I took a deep breath, so I didn't lose my cool. After taking care of the baby all day, I needed to get some work done.

  “I really need to work, baby,” I said.

  “On what?” She didn't make eye contact with me.

  “On my books, my stories.”

  “Why won't you show me?”

  “I want to surprise you.”

  “I'm not in the mood for surprises. I have a lot of work to do so I can make us some money. You understand how likely I am to take a pay cut when I go back, right? Do you understand that at all?”

  Stay calm, I thought to myself as I stared at her face. “Yes, I understand, but I wish you would just trust me.”

  “You and your literature degree? Really?”

  She turned to stare at me with a look of disgust and distrust. I frowned as I shook my head from side to side and held out the baby again. This time she took him, snuggling him against her breasts, which I hadn't seen in far too long. She’d reminded me more than once that that was Edmund’s territory for the time being. I really thought that my son and I could share. As Serena and I drifted apart, I just wanted to pour more of myself into my writing, the stories thousands of people around the world read.

  I stood up and walked out of the apartment before she could try to stop me. She had a point about us needing a bigger place. Once my royalties for my books came in, we could afford a nice house somewhere. If she trusted me more, everything would be fine between us. I walked to Christina's place to talk to her about my latest book.

  After I knocked on the door, it opened a moment later. I went on a rant about the latest changes she had made to my text, but Christina wasn't the one standing in the doorway. Another woman, with long, bright red hair stood in a pair of blue coveralls with nothing underneath them. The sides of her breasts peeked out each side of the denim. She smiled at me as if her life was nothing but rainbows and happiness.

  “Is Christina here?” I asked.

  “Yeah, yeah, come in. You must be Luke, am I right?”

  I nodded as I walked in the living room, shutting the door behind me.

  “Hey, Luke. I thought you were going to come over earlier,” Ch
ristina said as she walked into the room.

  “I got sidetracked with the baby and couldn't leave. I didn't think you’d be busy.”

  I looked over at the redhead. She still had a smile plastered across her entire face.

  “Well, we were about to go out. Gina, this is Luke.”

  “I thought so,” she said then laughed. Her breast jiggled, I couldn’t help but notice.

  “Luke, this is Gina, my girlfriend.”

  “Ahh...” I said, the picture becoming clear. “I'm sorry, I should have called...”

  “Yeah, probably.”

  Christina smiled as she walked over and put her arm around Gina's thin waist.

  “You okay,” Gina asked. “Your vibe seems off.”

  “Oh, it's nothing. I'm just tired.”

  “Bullshit,” she said then walked over and grabbed my hand. “Show me your palm.”

  I held my hand out to her, palm up, and she studied it.

  “You are definitely a writer.”

  “That was an easy one,” I said, always the skeptic.

  “Shush. I'm almost done.”

  Her finger traced a line on my skin. I pulled my hand back and laughed. “Well?”

  “She is your soul mate.”

  “Who? Did Christina tell you all about me?”

  “The woman you are with is the one you write about, right?”

  “Yeah. How did you know?”

  “It's not too hard, dear. You're a good match with her. You just need to chill the fuck out and try to help her more. Take a break on the writing for a bit and let Christina do her magic for you.”

  “Okay...” I muttered, overwhelmed.

  Gina walked back over to Christina and kissed her, just an affectionate peck on the cheek. I turned and left before I embarrassed myself any further. Instead of going home to help Serena, I went to the library with my laptop to get more work done with no interruptions. My books were selling well, but to keep it that way I needed a steady stream of stories to feed my readers.

  When I got to the library, my favorite building on campus, I went up to the fourth floor and went into one of the small, private rooms. My laptop open, I wrote an outline for a story idea that had been on my mind for a week or two. The piece was about a man who worked too hard and lost his wife and family. The story was a sad one, but it had to be written.

  After an hour, I packed up and briskly walked back to our small apartment. I stopped outside the door and took a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for the world on the other side. Serena would be furious at me leaving. When I walked in, she ignored me. We didn't fight, but we didn't make love either. This is what it felt like to be me now.

  SEVENTEEN

  Serena

  Four long weeks later, I went back to work a little early. My plan was to come in and surprise everyone. With that working for me, I could try to regain control of my previous position in the pecking order. Luke tried to be supportive of me, but he got upset when I told him I was going back to the office. We were spending so much money on diapers, I needed to bring in more money for us.

  I loved Edmund and Luke and we didn't fight as much anymore, which was good. Gradually, I changed my focus back to work once again. Not that I was ignoring Edmund, but for the hours that I was away from him, I focused on work. The climb back to the top would be a slow and painful one. In my mind, I knew what needed to be done, but after the pregnancy and everything else, getting back into the swing of things proved difficult.

  When I first stepped back into the office, many people stared at me, like I’d come back from the grave, not just from maternity leave. I went to my supervisor's office first to tell him his top performer had returned and intended to pick up where she left off. Terry Cliffton looked shocked when I walked in his office and sat down across from him. I smiled, pleased with myself for the first time in a while.

  “You're back early,” he said, sitting up in his expensive leather chair.

  “Why do you sound so upset at the news?”

  I continued to smile. He took a deep breath.

  “I'm just surprised, that's all. Good to have you back. Have you stopped in with HR yet?”

  “Nope. I wanted to come see you first and make sure you remember all those reports I did for you.”

  “Tina took over quite nicely after you left. She's been a big help.”

  “Uh huh.” I nodded. “I'm going to talk to HR now.”

  I kept my gaze on him as I stood. After I left his office, I headed to the HR department, which I hated with all my heart. As soon as I made it to the series of offices, I saw Ms. Jones' door closed. I knocked once then opened it up before she said anything. To my surprise, Tina was sitting across from her. They both looked up as I stood in the doorway.

  “I'm back,” I said. “My office still the same?”

  “Serena, how are you? How is the baby?” Ms. Jones asked.

  Tina stood up and left the office. When she walked by me, I thought about sticking my foot out to trip her, but I controlled myself. Just the thought, though, made me smile.

  “Baby is great. I'm ready to get back to work.”

  “About that...Why don't you have a seat?”

  “Tina, huh? You know I trained her, right?”

  I sat down and put my hands in my lap.

  “You did a great job. She's really stepped up while you were away.”

  “You gave her my job, didn't you?”

  “Calm down, Serena. It's nothing personal...”

  “Bullshit,” I said, standing up.

  On my way out of her office, I realized that I might make a mistake. While I wanted to appear tough and in charge on my first day back, pushing HR too hard could backfire on me. I went to the cafeteria to get a coffee and a danish before I went back to finish my talk with Ms. Jones. She would understand I needed some coffee.

  As I stood at the counter pouring sugar in my cup and stirring it, I heard laughter behind me. When I turned, I saw two female employees both looking my way as they talked together. They laughed a little more then walked out. Had I become the laughingstock of the office since going away on maternity leave?

  I ate the blueberry danish quietly on my own. After I finished eating it, I took my coffee back to Ms. Jones' office and walked through the open door. She looked up at me, and I swore I saw a look of compassion on her face. She and I didn't have a history of fighting, but to fight my way back up the corporate ladder, I couldn't be loyal to anyone.

  “You okay?” she asked.

  “I'm sorry. I just needed some caffeine. It's been a rough morning.”

  “I bet. I'm surprised to see you back so early.”

  “I'm glad I didn't wait any longer. Are you going to help me get my old position back?”

  She sighed. My rise back to the top of the food chain would be more difficult than I thought at first.

  “Here's the thing...”

  “It's okay. I understand. I'll not be filing any complaints.”

  “Really?”

  “Not until I talk to my lawyer anyway.”

  A frown appeared on her face. “I wish you wouldn't have said that.”

  “Well, I did. I like to be honest.”

  “You still have a position here, but the pay is a little less.”

  “How much less?” I asked as I braced myself to hear the answer.

  “Ten thousand a year.”

  My eyes opened wide. “You're kidding, right?”

  “No, Serena. And I had to fight to create a new position for you. I hope you understand.”

  “Yes. I understand perfectly.”

  “Life, work, baby, man. It’s all very complicated, I know. And it’s all new to you. You’re not expected to understand. Don’t expect so much from yourself. You’re not alone. And there are support groups and counselors,” she advised me. She opened my eyes to another set of possibilities.

  “Maybe I should focus.”

  “Focus. Let’s talk work first. But know that you c
an talk to me anytime about anything.”

  We talked about my new position in the company. I swallowed my pride as she talked because I knew I had to make money for my baby and my man. Or at least Edmund. Doubts about Luke still filled my mind. No matter how hard he tried, I couldn't find it in myself to see him the same as I had before our unexpected pregnancy. That first day back was tough on a lot of levels.

  EIGHTEEN

  Luke

  After she went back to work, Serena talked to me even less. Stress from work followed her home on a daily basis. Sometimes she stayed in her work clothes until bedtime. She couldn’t let go of it. I tried to keep track of all the names and situations she complained about as soon as she walked through the door. I really did. But it was hard for me to do with so many plots and characters going through my mind.

  I made the decision to tell her about my book publishing, that she didn't have to work any longer if she didn't want to slave away for a company that mistreated her. I couldn't wait to see her expression when I told her. With four months of solid and climbing book sales, I felt comfortable telling her what I'd been working on for so long.

  “She's going to love it, isn't she, Edmund.”

  The baby wiggled in my arms, drinking in every detail of the physical environment around him but oblivious to the economy and culture his parents had to deal with. I knew having his parents raise him together in harmony was his best option in such a complex and unforgiving world.

  “Can you turn down the television, please?” Serena screamed from the other side of the room.

  “I can hear you without the yelling,” I snapped.

  Edmund picked that particular time to cry. He must have felt the tension between us. As he bawled, I stood up and paced back and forth across the floor to try to soothe him, giving him an extra bounce with each step. I planned on having a little talk with Serena about all her yelling when I took the baby into his nursery, He was asleep by the time we got there.