Interracial Desires: BWWM Multicultural Romance Box Set

by Tamara Black

TWENTY-ONE

  Serena

  Our honeymoon passed too quickly for my taste. On our last day, we hung out on the beach together and drank. As usual, I had problems reading Luke. He looked happy on the outside, but he had a way of keeping his feelings to himself so his writing would be stronger. At least that was the excuse he always told me when I asked him about it.

  I turned to my left and watched him sleep in the reclining wicker chair. His hair, still wet from the ocean, looked good out of place. Will our son have similar hair when he grows up? The question, like many lately, flew away as fast as it had arrived in my mind. Luke opened his eyes and caught me staring at him. He flipped on his side.

  “You okay? What's up?”

  “I don't want to go back.”

  “I know. I don't either, but we have a baby.”

  “Our son Edmund.”

  He smiled, and I hoped Edmund's teeth came in as nice as his. I picked up my fruity concoction and sipped from the straw, sugar masked any sign of the alcohol I knew was in the drink. Luke picked up his laptop. I sighed then shielded my eyes from the sun and looked out into the water. Could we make love out in the ocean?

  “Oh, wow,” he said, breaking me out of my daydream fantasy.

  I turned to him. “What?”

  “I just got an email from UIC. They want me to work in the Upward Bound program.”

  “That's amazing.”

  “It doesn't pay a lot,” he continued, still staring at his phone, “But it would help bring a little extra money in for us and give me something to do other than the writing.”

  I nodded as he stared out at the ocean, lost in pools of thought just as vast.

  “You could help out a lot of children,” I said.

  He turned to me. “Yeah, I'd really like that. I can't wait to get back.”

  “A moment ago, we both wanted to stay.”

  “I know, but this is a good opportunity to help people.”

  In my mind, I thought about the fact we hadn’t gotten a lawyer to contest my being fired from my job because of my pregnancy. He didn’t like to hear about it. As he focused his attention on the laptop again, I sat back and took another drink. While I genuinely loved the fact his career was going so well, I thought about my own, how much I missed it.

  He made enough money to support both of us comfortable, and the paycheck from Upward Bound would help even more. Even though I didn't need to work, I found myself missing the fast paced lifestyle. Taking care of Edmund was a full time job itself, but most people looked at stay-at-home mothers differently than those who worked full time or even part time.

  Luke could have been helping out more in my opinion, but I didn’t give him grief about it. His writing had saved the day. Still, I often wondered what might have been if he hadn’t been for our accidental pregnancy. After that happened, the power dynamics in our relationship had changed, with him taking control in many ways. I sighed and finished my drink, determined to enjoy the last of our freedom.

  * * *

  The next morning, we woke up late and had to scramble to get to the airport in time. Thankfully, or maybe fatefully, we didn’t miss our plane.

  “I've been thinking,” I said as we sat next to each other in the business class section of the plane. I was unsure of how to continue. Why do I feel so powerless?

  “What, babe?” he asked as he turned to me.

  “I don't know what I should do with my life.”

  “I thought you were going to raise our baby.”

  “Excuse me? Do you think that’s all I’m good for? Raising Edmund is a job for both of us.”

  “Well, if you'd not lost your job...”

  A rotund lady squeezed into the third seat in our small row, bringing the argument to a quick end. I flashed him my angry look, one he’d gotten to know well. He turned back to the window. On the long plane ride back to Chicago, I planned to read a Harlequin Kimani romance novel on my tablet.

  “I hate these seats. Don't you find them too small?” the lady who had sat down asked as her head twisted toward me.

  “Um, yeah. They could make them bigger, but less of us would fit in here so prices would be even higher.”

  She huffed then shoved her pudgy arm on the armrest between us. I sighed, took a deep breath, and tried to recline my seat. Someone kicked it from behind. A young boy screamed at the top of his lungs that I was cutting off his freaking legs. I brought the seat back up and closed my eyes. After an amazing wedding and honeymoon in Jamaica, reality was hitting me in the gut.

  TWENTY-TWO

  Luke

  After our honeymoon, I followed through and got the gig with Upward Bound. It was exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. As usual, Serena was supportive, helping take care of our baby which gave me so much more time. My first class, I realized I was dealing with hormone-driven teenagers. For as little as the job paid, it turned out to be a lot of work.

  I wanted to continue to be a best-selling fiction writer, but it was difficult to be a full-time writer because at any moment, the readers could stop buying my books. That thought terrified me because of my family. It was another reason I was excited about the part-time teaching position with Upward Bound. The experience would look great on my resume and might lead to a full time teaching gig.

  While I loved the idea of being a full time writer, with a wife and child to support, something a bit more predictable and stable would be better. By my seventh class, I had started to get the hang of dealing with my students while actually imparting some knowledge to them. My best tactic was to stoop to their level and act as much like a teenager as possible.

  The idea was probably not the smartest, but being the youngest of the teachers in the building, I got away with a lot. I quickly became known as the cool teacher, which tickled me pink. After that seventh class, my life was turned upside down. When Marissa said her mother wanted to meet me, I should have known it was a bad idea.

  Ms. Carmen Sousa walked into my classroom dressed as if she was going out on the town. Marissa, who had left early, hadn’t told me her mother was so attractive. With Serena and a child at home – both of whom I loved – I didn’t feel I’d have any problems dealing with Carmen in a professional manner. As she walked down an aisle in between two rows of desks, I began to have doubts.

  “Hello, Ms. Sousa. Did I pronounce that right?”

  “No, but it’s okay. You can call me Carmen.”

  “Okay, Carmen. What can I do for you?”

  “I’m not sure yet.” She smiled, her eyes roaming over my body. “You’re a writer, right?”

  “Yeah, but I’ve been working with Upward Bound to give back a little.”

  “Marissa can’t stop talking about you at home, and I thought I should come in and see what all the fuss was about.”

  I suddenly became very aware of my wedding ring. While I didn’t rush to hide it, the fact that I had it on hit me consciously.

  “Okay. Wow. Well, I’m not sure how I can help…”

  “I’m a writer too,” she interrupted.

  “Oh, really.”

  “Yeah. I write erotic romance. I was wondering if you might read something of mine?”

  I took a deep breath. Just as I was about to answer, my phone rang, signaling a text message.

  “I’m sorry. Do you mind?”

  She shook her head. I turned around and took a few steps away, staring at the screen. It was Serena – my wife. The message simply said “911 call me.” I dialed her cell number. The call connected almost immediately.

  “Are you okay? What’s up? I’m with a parent,” I said, trying not to sound guilty.

  “The baby!” she screamed into the phone.

  “Settle down. Take a deep breath. What about the baby?”

  I turned to Carmen and held up a finger. She nodded and walked toward the door of the classroom.

  “Edmund is sick. I need you home right now.”

  “Okay. I’ll be right there.”

  Aft
er I disconnected the call, I walked over to Carmen.

  “I’m so sorry. It’s an emergency and I have to go.”

  “I hope everything is okay. Here’s my number.”

  She handed me a pink business card that pronounced her an official author. I slipped it in the back pocket of my pants.

  “I’ll contact you. Soon. I’m sorry, I have to go.”

  As I rushed out of the classroom and jogged down the hall, I wondered why I hadn’t mentioned my wife to her. That thought was quickly pushed aside as I wondered what the hell was wrong with Edmund. It would have been nice for Serena to tell me what was wrong with him, but lately she’d been really emotional and not able to deal with situations that arose.

  When I got home, I heard the baby crying. Serena standing next to the couch with Edmund in her arms. She looked over at me with desperation as she rocked him gently. I walked over and took him from her. He continued crying, but his forehead didn’t feel warm. After a moment or two, he settled down a little bit only to start up again.

  “How long has he been crying?” I asked.

  “Hours. What’s wrong? We need to take him to the hospital now. Why did it take you so long to get home to us?”

  “I think it’s just colic. He should be okay in a little bit.”

  “Colic? What the hell is that?”

  “It’s when babies cry when there’s nothing wrong with them. Scientists think it might be a sign of an underlying disease the baby will have to deal with later in their life.”

  Serena stared at me with a WTF look on her face.

  “Let’s go to the hospital. I think something is wrong.”

  “I really don’t think…” I stopped when she glared at me. “Okay, let’s go. I’ll drive.”

  “No, I’m driving.”

  With the baby safely nestled in a car seat in the back, I looked up the baby’s symptoms on the internet.

  “It says right here that it’s probably colic. I’m not a doctor, but it’s right here on the internet.”

  “You can find whatever you want on the internet, you idiot,” she snapped. “You can find people who believe in zombies on the internet! Why don’t you believe me when I say our baby could be dying and we need to do something?”

  “Are you done? I just wanted to share what I found on the internet.”

  “Fuck the internet, Luke. Really.”

  We were both silent on the rest of the short drive to the hospital. Some of the people in the waiting room gave us and the baby dirty looks as he cried his little eyes out, but I ignored them as Serena filled out the paperwork. I looked at Edmund’s small face, unable to help him, which pained me. By the time we got back to see a doctor, he had stopped crying.

  Two minutes later, Dr. Franklin confirmed it was colic. I tried my best not to even suggest an I-told-you-so look. Serena still stared at me with hate in her eyes, but stayed silent. Well, until I opened my mouth again. I figured that since we were already at the hospital, we should talk to the doctor about her inflamed nipple. Little Edmund had sucked her raw.

  “It’s fine,” Serena said then glared at me.

  “I can get a female doctor to look if that’s your concern.”

  She sighed. “Okay, you can look, but I think it’s fine.”

  Two hours later, she was checked into a room for overnight observation. She was released the next day with instructions on how to care for her nipple and keep it from happening again.

  TWENTY-THREE

  Serena

  A week after the hospital incident, I was at home alone with the baby when grief overcame me. Gina wasn’t really the person I wanted to talk to about my relationship, but she was available and from what I understood, she was good at helping couples. Luke was gone when she arrived at the apartment, bubbly as ever. I put on my best fake smile and let her in.

  Edmund was asleep in his crib in the corner, so I put my finger to my lips and motioned toward the kitchen where I could watch him from the table. He was such a good baby, so unlike his father at this early stage of his life.

  “Thanks for coming over,” I said. “Edmund is finally asleep, so we need to be quiet.”

  “No problem. You’re so blessed.”

  I laughed nervously. “I don’t know about all that.”

  “It can’t be all that bad,” she said as she sat down at the table.

  “I don’t know. It’s getting pretty bad.”

  “It wasn’t too long ago you thought him and I had something going on.” She smiled.

  “I know. This is different. It’s like we’re not connecting on any levels anymore.”

  A smile spread over Gina’s face – even bigger than the one she usually displayed.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I have an idea. Just hear me out before you decide.”

  “Okay. What?”

  “Threeway. You and Luke should invite me into your bedroom. That’s the only way I can really help.”

  I laughed out loud, waking up Edmund in the next room. “I’m sorry,” I said, trying to catch my breath. “That’s so rude. It’s just… Hold on…”

  Edmund stopped crying when I picked him up in my arms and brought him into the kitchen. I sat back down, gently rocking him while trying to protect my sensitive nipple.

  “I didn’t mean to laugh…”

  “Yeah you did,” she interrupted. “I totally understand. You don’t think my sexual healing license is legitimate. You’re not the only one.”

  “Did Luke put you up to this? It sounds like something he would do.”

  “No, it’s my idea. And I think it would help.”

  “Well, let’s not tell Luke this happened, okay?”

  She slowly shook her head from side to side. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Deception…”

  “It’s not deception,” I said, breaking in while still gently bouncing the baby in my lap. “It’s just not telling him everything.”

  “Omission is a lesser lie, but…”

  “Look, Gina,” I interrupted again. “I’m not sure why I invited you over. I guess it’s because you seem like a real laid back lady and I thought you might be a good listener. I’m really not interested in a…” I stopped talking and mouthed the word, “Threeway.”

  “I understand. The other idea is for you to join Christina and me in our bedroom.”

  Is she flirting with me? Really? “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think that would help right now either.” I stood up. “I really don’t mean to be rude, but I need to get some things done.”

  She stood up. “You’re fine. I totally understand. I’ll get out of your hair.”

  Ugh. I hate how she says she understands, I thought as I smiled at her.

  “Thanks so much for coming over. I just needed to see another face for a little bit.”

  After she left, I sat down on the couch in the living room with Edmund nestled in my arms. His tiny face looked so peaceful. “Why can’t I get along with your daddy?” I asked. He didn’t answer, but he stared at me with his tiny eyes and smiled. My life had changed dramatically since he was born. I just had to learn to adjust to my new life. Help from Luke would be nice, but I wasn’t going to hold my breath waiting for him.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Luke

  As I sat on the couch next to Carmen, I thought about Serena, my wife. I loved her – a lot – but things were so different after Edmund was born. Part of me believed the only reason she agreed to marry me was because of the baby. I doubted her love for me on a daily basis. And the more doubts I had, the worse my relationship with her seemed.

  “Did you get a chance to read the first chapter?” Carmen asked excitedly, running her hands up and down her bare thighs.

  Why did she have to wear such a short skirt? I asked myself as I smiled at her.

  “It was…” I paused as if I was searching for the perfect word. “Interesting.”

  “Really?” she squealed.

  “Well, it needs some work, but…�
��

  She leaned over and hugged me. “Thanks so much.”

  I pulled back and smiled politely.

  “You still need to do a lot to get it in shape, but I think it would sell a few copies.”

  “Can you help me?”

  Her eyes stared into mine as I tried to find a way to get out of what was coming next. If I decided to help her with the erotic romance novel, she would undoubtedly attempt to get into my pants. A few months ago that wouldn’t have been a problem – at all – but Serena’s image flashed in my mind as I looked at the attractive Latina woman.

  “Carmen,” I started, putting my hand on her arm. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m married.”

  “That doesn’t matter to the characters in my book,” she said with a sly smile.

  “My life isn’t your book…” I said, adding the word thankfully silently in my mind.

  “It could be.”

  She reached out and placed her hand on my knee, which filled me with nervousness. I stood up.

  “I have to leave. I’ll read the rest of the chapters and let you know what I think.”

  “Aww. You have to go so soon? I was hoping we could have a glass of wine or two and discuss the beginning of the story. I’m not sure it’s hot enough.”

  “Oh, it’s plenty hot,” I said, blushing.

  A wicked smile spread over her face as she stood up. Her huge breasts were pressed close together by the tight shirt she had on. My eyes were drawn to her cleavage, but I tried to resist.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to stay a while?” She put her hand on my arm. “It could be fun.”

  “No…”

  “Are you gay or something?” she snapped.

  “No, I have a wife and family.”

  “Like that’s ever stopped any other guy before,” she said, taking a step closer to me.

  In that moment, my writer’s mind made up a whole scenario with Carmen, the way she might press her breasts against my chest and lift up on her toes to kiss me and all the rest.