“I suppose,” Patty said, drawing the words out as if it were a question.
“Patty, come on. The man’s married. I need to break it off with him, immediately and completely.”
“Oh! Now, now,” Patty protested.
“Get a grip. He may not be in a happy marriage. He may not be in a traditional marriage. But in the eyes of the state, and in the eyes of God, he’s still married to her, until death do they part.”
Patty let out a huff. “Why has he stayed with her so long?”
“I don’t know, because he’s a good man? She needed him to support her, both physically and financially. His daughter loved her. I could never see Shaw divorcing her. He’s just too good.” Nora stood and walked around the small room. “As much as I like him, and respect him for staying true to his responsibilities, there is absolutely no room for me in his life.”
Patty let out a disappointed wail. “I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right, Patty.”
“Couldn’t you still work together on the animal sanctuary?”
“No. I don’t think I could handle being his co-worker and friend, when I know that he led me on and allowed me to dream about being so much more to him.” Tears popped out of her eyes and she angrily wiped them away. “I was so wrong about him. I had him way up on a pedestal. He was a good man, a solid man of God. How could he do this? How could I be so wrong about him?”
As much as she didn’t want to, she let go, let the tears flow. Sobs escaped her and she knew Patty was there for her, on the end of the line, not knowing what to say, but her presence was a help. In her grief, she silently reached out to God. Why, Lord? I thought I understood your path for me. I thought Shaw was a big part of that. Now I have no idea what I’m doing.
Moments passed and mentally, she closed the door. She refused to let the betrayal of this one man destroy her. She was stronger than that. At least she wanted to believe she was. “It’s not the end of the world,” she said to Patty.
“Nope,” Patty agreed with her.
Nora sniffed. “I’ve only known him a short time. It’s not like I’m in love with him and invested years in the man and then found out he was married.”
Patty wisely decided to stay quiet.
“Patty, I better get going.”
“Do you want me to come there?”
“No, of course not, why would you come here?” She regretted her terse words and tone immediately. Patty was one of the nicest people on earth and she was only trying to be helpful. She took a breath and tried again. “I’m sorry. No. You don’t need to come here. But thanks anyway.”
“Nora, don’t sweep your emotions under the rug. They’re valid. You found a man that you either could fall in love with, or let’s face it, have fallen in love with. That’s big! That doesn’t happen every day. Or year.”
“True. Very true, my wise sister. How’d you get so smart?”
Patty laughed. “I had good guidance from my big sis.”
Nora snorted. “It’s getting deep in here. Seriously, I have to go. I’ll keep you posted.”
“Okay, but one other word of advice: wine and chocolate help in situations of the heart.”
“Thanks.” She hung up, sat in the living room, and stared at the wall.
That evening, Shaw’s truck bumped and rattled up the driveway, parked outside the barn and he jumped out to go visit his patient. She listened through the wall of the apartment. When he pushed open the big barn door, she pushed the curtain aside and watched him through the window. He disappeared into Maggie’s stall. He’d looked tired. A sleepless night would do that to you. She knew only too well. With her exhaustion and sadness, she had just about hit the wall tonight. When Shaw left Maggie’s stall, she left the window.
When he tapped quietly on the apartment door, she ignored it. She was too tired and too emotional to face him now.
When she heard the truck drive away, she said to herself, Good-bye, Shaw. Nice knowing you. Wish we could’ve seen what we could’ve been together. If only you hadn’t lied to me.
After a good night’s sleep, she pulled herself up by her bootstraps. Enough was enough. She’d had the vision of establishing a Dress For Success affiliate here. That was still a project she could throw herself into. She wouldn’t let Shaw change that. She could use her skills and focus on getting that done. It would keep her busy, give her a purpose. Yes.
She also needed a change of scenery. Although the little apartment in the barn had been a nice, comfortable hideaway, it was time to embrace her true inheritance … the mansion. That’s where her new business would be housed. She needed to swallow her discomfort in living there, and start a list of To Do items for renovating the place. Life would move on. She would force it to. Even if her heart wasn’t quite in it.
She jumped in the car and drove to the nearest office supply store, where she stocked up on white boards, markers, notebooks, file folders and pens. When she returned, she pulled up to the house. She got out of the car and looked up at it. It was imposing; it was magnificent; it was ramshackle. She walked up the stairs, and fumbled in her purse for the key. She opened the front door and stood in the foyer.
It was dark, but she could fix that by flinging all the curtains back and letting the sun stream in. It was musty, but she could fix that as well. Open the windows and run some fans in here to get the air moving. She could learn to love it here. She would learn to love it here. This was her inheritance, her legacy. And, it gave the added benefit of distance from the barn, so she wouldn’t be tuned in to when Shaw was here.
She spent all day freshening the main living room of the mansion, letting air in, sweeping, dusting. Then, she went to work, researching the steps needed to open a Dress For Success affiliate. She jotted ideas on a legal pad, then when she had a timeline and action items, she wrote a To Do list on the whiteboard with red marker. Now she was getting somewhere. There were at least a dozen items on her list, and she felt that familiar ache to get started. To achieve. To perform. This was her wheelhouse. This is what she did, and did well. She could make this work, despite a broken heart.
For three glorious hours, she was engaged in her work, and she was so focused that she didn’t think about Shaw. The phone rang. She picked it up from the table and answered it.
“Nora, it’s Tony.”
She lifted her head. “Oh hi, Tony.”
“I was expecting your call. You said you had a decision to make about accepting or declining your inheritance, and your deadline has come and gone.”
“Oh, right, sorry Tony,” she said.
“When can we expect you? I have a new project in mind for you. Another big enterprise merger. Not as big as the Samson merger, but close. You did such a good job on that one that I feel you’re perfect for it.”
“Oh, well,” she began.
“Plus Nora, with Henry gone, I feel that it’s time for you to get more involved in the partner-level work and decisions. When you became tertiary partner you were tied up in project work, so Henry and I pretty much carried the partner-level issues. Now, I need you. I can’t run this place by myself, Nora.”
“Ummm,” she murmured.
“When are you coming back?” he repeated.
Her mind raced. What Tony was offering her should be music to her ears. Another big project to lead, more involvement in the day-to-day operation of the firm, more partner-level decisions that she had pretty much been left out of. Her name was on the masthead. This was what she’d wanted, what she’d worked hard for.
They needed her!
“I’m sorry for missing my deadline, Tony. Give me until tomorrow. I’ll call you with firm plans then.”
He paused. “I’m surprised to hear this, Nora. What’s the delay about? You’re a partner in this firm and we need you to come and fulfill your duties.”
Nora bit her tongue on the words that jumped to mind: you suspected me of wrongdoing. You made me sneak out like I’d broken the law. You investiga
ted me.
“I need to evaluate my options and I will let you know my decision tomorrow. Thank you, Tony. Have a good day.” She disconnected the call and dropped the phone on the table.
She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them she saw all the work she’d done all day. The plans, the vision, the action items. She really could pull this off. She could leave her Philadelphia life behind and start something completely new at the beach. She could help young women who needed a jumpstart into building their own productive futures. She could look into the possibility of starting an animal sanctuary on her property. She could fulfill what her aunt asked of her, to use the property to help others.
She turned in a circle. She could renovate this entire mansion, bringing it back to its former glory. It would be fun to take on project after project until the entire thing was done.
Or.
She could go back. The firm had made a mistake. They had gone through the steps and discovered that she was innocent. They cleared her of all wrongdoing, and now they wanted her back. They’d welcome her with open arms. She’d work on meaningful, important work. She’d continue to make her mark in the firm. Her firm.
And if she went back, she’d never see Shaw again. She’d never inadvertently run into him in the barn, or the town or the beach. His colossal lie had thrown her way off course and she was stumbling. She could heal her heart and move on. She would get absorbed in her old life and forget. He would become a memory, just a quick love interest in her past that hadn’t worked out.
She took a deep breath and picked up her phone. She placed a call to her aunt’s lawyer. “Mr. Becker, please.” She waited till his voice came on.
“Nora, nice to hear from you.”
“Yes, I wanted to let you know that I’ve made a final decision.”
The smile on his face was evident in his voice. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I want to sell Aunt Edie’s property. I’d like you to arrange with a realtor to put it on the market.”
“Oh… I have to say I’m surprised to hear that. I was under the impression that you’ve been here living since we first met.”
“Yes, yes I have. You’re correct.”
“Have you not had a good experience here? Could I help you with …?”
“I’ve had a good experience.” And a bad experience. “It’s just that, my law firm in Philadelphia needs me back. I’ve weighed my options and made my decision. I’m sorry.”
“No, no, it’s perfectly fine. It was a wonderful gift from your aunt, but one that would require a complete life change for you. At least you know that she loved you very much.”
“Yes.”
“Well, if there’s no further discussion, I can go ahead and draw up all the papers. I assume you want to sell everything as is, with all furnishings and equipment?”
Nora looked around and took in the couches, the tables, the rugs, and thought of the fully furnished apartment in the barn, along with the tack room and stalls. “Yes, everything.”
“I can have the paperwork ready for your signature tomorrow.”
“Perfect. It’s been a pleasure working with you.”
She hung up, expecting to feel relief that her decision was made, that her life had direction again. That it all made sense. That it was familiar.
But that heavy ache in her heart was certainly not relief.
Three days later, back in Philadelphia, her driver Benny dropped her off at the firm’s downtown high-rise office building. She gathered her briefcase and her purse and the car door opened. Benny stood on the curb, giving her a hand to grab, and guided her out of the car.
“Have a good day, Ms. Ramsey.”
“Thank you, Benny.” She took a deep breath and looked up at the tall building, her head tilting back to see it all.
“I’m glad you’re back. Wasn’t the same around here without you.”
She turned and looked at him. She’d always liked Benny. So kind. “That’s sweet of you to say.”
Time to go into the building. She inhaled a deep breath and strode to the front door. She made her way into the elevator. She had to remember that things were different now than the last time she was here. Then, she was under suspicion. Now, she’d been cleared. She could lift her chin high and walk with confidence.
She reached her floor and entered the lobby of the firm. Pam, the receptionist, sat as usual behind her desk, ready to greet whoever walked in. Nora couldn’t help but remember the last time she’d walked by Pam, the day the police were here to arrest Henry. Her entire life had changed since then. And yet, here she was again.
“Good morning, Nora,” Pam said. “Glad to have you back.”
“Thank you, Pam.” She didn’t linger, but opened the double doors that led to the offices. She saw the firm with a fresh eye since she’d been gone so long. Very clean, sterile, in fact. Very dark. The mahogany and cherry woodwork that was intended to lend a classic look, seemed to rob the area of light.
As she made her way down the main hallway, she poked her head into offices of the associates and said hello. Everyone was happy to see her, greeted her with polite respect, welcomed her back. She finally made it to her own office, went inside, swung the door shut and leaned back against it, breathing deeply.
Something was wrong.
She should be thrilled to be back. She should feel like she had returned to the bosom of her family. But she wasn’t. A sense of apprehension gave her a tight chest, difficulty breathing. And they didn’t feel like family anymore.
Trying to shake her nerves away, she made her way to her desk. She settled in and fired up her computer. Hundreds of unread emails loaded, continuing until it hit a thousand. Dread came over her. Would she read all those? Or should she just delete anything that had arrived before today, and rely on Tony and the rest of the lawyers to fill her in on anything she really needed to know? And let go of anything that didn’t fall into that category?
The act of “just letting go” went against her grain. But maybe it was time to come up with new practices.
Later in the morning, she left her office in pursuit of Tony. He was happy to see her. She visited with him for twenty minutes and left with her arms full of file folders. No wonder he was glad she was back. He’d just dumped half his workload on her. She smirked and worked on developing a positive attitude.
She dove into the work and read the files, making notes and gathering action items. She was so absorbed she worked straight through lunch. Her stomach growled, causing her to look up. It was seven pm. She hadn’t even moved from her desk chair for close to nine hours.
She put the remaining documents on her desk, stretched and rubbed her eyes. She called Benny and asked for a pick up. She gathered her things and made her way to the door. In the hallway, she passed by several associates who were still working, burning the evening hours. She was well aware of this lifestyle, she’d done it her whole adult life.
She made her way down to the street and Benny was there waiting. “Good first day back?” he asked her as he settled into the driver seat.
Instead of automatically responding in the affirmative as she would’ve before all this happened, she actually thought about his question. “Well, in some ways it was. It was good to see everyone after being gone. But I can’t ignore that life has gone on, and I just don’t feel as connected to any of them as I used to. And, I got my next big merger case and I spent the majority of the day reading up on it. But it doesn’t excite me like it has in the past. I know how to do this stuff, and I will do a good job. But the passion just isn’t there anymore.”
Her honesty rendered Benny speechless. They didn’t speak for the rest of the ride home, until he pulled up in front of her apartment building. When he opened the door for her, he said in a hushed tone, “Ms. Ramsey, I’ve been driving you to and from work for over eight years now. I know you’re a great lawyer, and everyone at the firm has high respect for you. But if I could just give you my opinion, here it is: life’s
too short. Try to fill your days doing stuff you enjoy, that fulfills you, that excites you. Because before you know it, it’s over.”
She blinked. She pulled herself out of the car and stood on the curb. “Benny, that is the best advice I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you for sharing it.” She smiled at him, patted his shoulder. “See you tomorrow morning, same time?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She walked into her building and was in the elevator when her cell rang. It was Patty. “Hey, sis.”
“Hi. How’s it going at the ranch?”
Nora sighed. She knew she’d have to fill in Patty at some point. Soon, since they talked almost every week. She just wasn’t sure she had the energy for it right now, after her first full day back at the office.
“Patty, brace yourself.”
“Okay.”
“I made my decision. I’m declining the inheritance. I’ve come back to work in Philly and I had Mr. Becker put the property up for sale.” She steeled herself for an explosion. She walked off the elevator and busied herself unlocking her apartment door. Once inside, she said, “Hello?” Had their line dropped? Patty hadn’t said a word.
“I heard you.”
“No screaming?”
“No. You’re an adult.”
“Agreed.”
“If you want to turn your back on one of the most exciting opportunities you’ve been extended in your entire adult life, that’s certainly up to you.”
“There it is.” Nora formed her lips grimly.
“No, I’m serious, Nora. This is about Shaw, isn’t it?”
“What? About Shaw? How could this possibly be about Shaw?”
“Don’t play dumb. You were at the ranch for almost a month. You loved it there. You could actually see yourself living there. You had plans for the future. You’d come up with a way to fulfill Aunt Edie’s request that you were excited about. And then the situation with Shaw happened. And you put your tail between your legs and ran away.”
“That’s not what this is about! I’m a lawyer, Patty! A darn good one. And the firm finished their investigation and cleared me. They need me. For my leadership. The firm is in crisis, Patty. And I can help.”
Sanctuary (Murrells Inlet Miracles Book 1) Page 15