The Broken Hearts Book Club

by Lynsey James

  George nodded and left as quietly as possible. I left my plate of Victoria sponge on the table and hot-footed it towards the toilets as fast as I could. Diane didn’t look pleased to see I wasn’t ready to leave yet.

  ‘Be quick, we’re just about to close!’

  ‘I won’t be a second, I promise!’ I smiled at her but she didn’t return it.

  I scurried to the toilets, hoping Diane would forget I was there and head on through to the meeting. It would be a perfect chance for me to see what this mysterious book club was really all about.

  When I came out of the toilet, Diane was nowhere to be seen, the lights in the main café were out and I was completely alone. Suddenly, someone speaking made me jump and I remembered why I was there: to get a glimpse into the Broken Hearts Book Club.

  ‘Right, welcome to this Luna Bay Broken Hearts Book Club meeting. How are we all tonight?’ Diane’s kind voice was instantly recognisable.

  The other people at the table mumbled indistinct replies that I couldn’t quite make out. I decided to edge myself closer to see if I could learn more about this mysterious club I’d inherited.

  ‘OK, this is our first meeting since Lily died so things will be a bit strange. We don’t have a new chairperson yet, so we’ll just have to muddle through as best we can.’

  Diane’s voice was tinged with sadness; it was obvious Nana Lily had meant a great deal to her. It made me smile to think of other people loving her as much as I did.

  She patted her sandy blonde curls down and addressed the group with an uncertain smile. ‘Let’s start by going round the table and saying how we’re all coping this week. I’ll start. It would’ve been Derek’s sixty-sixth birthday on Tuesday, so I went to the cemetery and spent some time with him. I told him what had been happening with the cricket team, this place and that his stool’s still vacant at The Purple Partridge. My daughter phoned from London to see if I was OK; I lied and said everything was fine. Ended up crying most of the night and listening to Always on My Mind. We danced to that at our wedding…’

  She trailed off as tears overcame her. A rosy-cheeked woman sitting on her left hand side patted her shoulder and handed her a tissue from her bag. I recognised her from the photo I’d found of the book club, but hadn’t seen her before that; she must’ve moved to the village after I left.

  ‘I guess I’m next!’ she said with a nervous chuckle. From my limited viewpoint, I saw her cheeks pink up even more. ‘Well, I had a good week actually. Obviously, I still miss Rebecca every day, but I finally feel like things are getting easier. I-I even managed to pay a visit to the hospice to say thank you to all the nurses who looked after her at the end. I tried before, just after she died, but the memories were just too painful. John was going to come with me, but he isn’t ready yet… He still can’t accept that she’s gone and that he couldn’t save her.’

  There were murmurs of support from the rest of the group, along with suggestions that John should come along to the next meeting. The woman shook her head and dropped her gaze to her lap, saying that he ‘didn’t believe in facing his grief’.

  I was taken aback by the intensely sad stories they told and just how grief-stricken they sounded. Why Nana Lily thought I could help them, I just didn’t know. House or no house, I wasn’t up to the task. It was time to leave. Slowly and carefully, I began to scrape my chair back but one of the legs got stuck on a loose floorboard. I didn’t have enough room to squeeze out without toppling the entire table over, so I was pretty much trapped.

  Bollocks.

  I tried to wiggle myself free, but it was no good. Another woman began to speak about her week.

  ‘I got a dog walking flyer through my door today and it made me think of Hobie and how much I miss him. He was a right handful at times, but I’d let him chew every pair of slippers I own to have him back with me again. You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone, as clichéd as that sounds.’

  Those words made me think of belting out Big Yellow Taxi to a church full of people. I thought back to that day, of how it had felt saying goodbye to Nana Lily. The finality of it all made tears well up in my eyes and caused the chatter from the meeting to drop to a low hum. She had been such a huge part of my life and it still hadn’t hit me that I’d never see her again.

  My thoughts then turned to meeting Jake and finding out I’d been left Rose Cottage. They were two surprises I definitely hadn’t expected when I’d come back. My return to Luna Bay hadn’t been all bad, when I thought about it. Aside from my confrontation with Maggie, it had been quite pleasant.

  Another attempt to shake the chair leg free failed.

  ‘It’s never easy to lose a pet,’ I heard Diane say. ‘They become like part of the family and it’s heartbreaking to have to say goodbye to them. We’re all with you Jean, aren’t we folks?’

  Cue murmurs of support from the rest of the group.

  ‘Thanks everyone. You’ve no idea what this means to –’

  She was cut short by me falling arse over head into the middle of their conversation. I’d finally managed to get the chair leg out from behind the loose floorboard, but the effort I put into freeing myself had toppled the chair backwards and sent me flying. The whole of the Broken Hearts Book Club turned to look at who’d intruded on their private meeting and they didn’t look happy to see me.

  ‘Well, well, well, if it isn’t Lucy Harper.’ Diane got up and extended a hand to help me up. She didn’t look best pleased that I was gatecrashing their meeting.

  ‘Hello everyone!’ I did my sunniest smile and waved. ‘Lovely weather we’re having, eh?’

  Unsurprisingly, nobody waved back.

  ‘So you decided to gatecrash our meeting, did you?’

  My cheeks flushed furiously. ‘Not exactly. I-I heard about this club after my Nana Lily’s funeral and I… Well I wanted to find out more about it. I didn’t mean any harm, really I didn’t. I-I didn’t even know you were having the meeting here today.’

  Diane folded her arms across her broad chest and pursed her lips. I felt like a naughty child who’d been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

  ‘Well if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a meeting to get back to,’ she said, turning back to return to her seat.

  ‘Wait! Look, I know I haven’t been back round here for long and that I left under a bit of a cloud, but all I wanted to do was find out more about the club. Nana Lily, she… She kind of left it to me in her will.’

  This revelation prompted a collective gasp from the club members. I felt like I was in a really badly devised soap opera.

  ‘She what?’ Diane rose from her chair and looked at me with an alarmed expression. ‘Why the hell would she do that?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I admitted with a shrug and nervously began fiddling with a loose thread on my jumper. ‘She said she wanted me to chair the club and spread a bit of cheer to you all, help to brighten you all up a bit.’

  Diane’s face darkened and she put her hands on her hips. I had a feeling I’d just made things a whole lot worse. Open mouth, insert foot.

  ‘This club does not need “brightening up”, thank you very much! We’re fine as we are.’

  I decided to let Nana Lily do the talking, so I pulled the last page of the letter from my bag and passed it to Diane. As she scanned it I watched her face contort into a disgusted scowl. I was glad I’d left out the part where Nana Lily said I needed to run the club for three months in order to get the cottage.

  ‘Obviously that was a moment of madness on Lily’s part. This book club needs someone who knows the members and the way things work to run it, not somebody who hasn’t even lived in the village for eight years.’ Her eyes caught mine and I felt myself shiver, ‘And we all know why that is.’

  Oh no, I thought, please don’t mention the Vicky thing.

  ‘Look,’ I said, preventing her from going any further. ‘I agree with you; I don’t think I’d be much good at chairing a book club for broken-hearted people. Fr
om what I heard, you obviously know what you’re doing and you’d be a much better chairwoman than me. Sorry to disturb you guys, I’ll leave you in peace.’

  I turned to walk away, expecting to feel relieved that I’d satisfied my curiosity and passed responsibility on to Diane. But I didn’t; I felt bereft. In abdicating my responsibility to the book club, I’d also given up Rose Cottage. Someone else would be living in it before too long, making memories and enjoying all it had to offer. It made me sad to think that person wouldn’t be me.

  ‘For what it’s worth,’ I said, turning back for a moment, ‘you all sound like you’re doing amazingly. Obviously you all already know that I lost my nana recently. We were very close – she was a huge part of my life and I miss her terribly. I-I hope you guys all find a way through your grief soon. I really didn’t mean to disturb your meeting.’

  I went to walk out, but felt a hand on my shoulder. When I turned round, the rosy-cheeked woman was looking at me like a baby fawn she’d found in the road.

  ‘You come in and sit with us darling,’ she said gently. ‘There’s a spare seat at our table if you fancy joining us? You can sit in on a meeting and see what we’re all about. I’m Denise, by the way. Nice to meet you.’

  ‘Oh I wouldn’t want to intrude!’

  ‘Nonsense, there’s always room for one more.’ Denise smiled warmly and linked her arm through mine. ‘Isn’t there Diane?’

  My eyes widened in alarm. I hadn’t bargained on being invited to stay; all I’d wanted was to eavesdrop on the meeting to get a feel for the club. Plus it was evident that Diane didn’t want me here; leaving was the best option, like it always was.

  ‘Well actually –’

  ‘See, course there is! There’s always space for anyone who wants to join.’

  She guided me over to the table they were gathered at and showed me to a seat on the end. Then she resumed her place next to Diane and looked at me, along with everyone else.

  ‘Right, well this is the Luna Bay Broken Hearts Book Club! We meet in here every week for tea, cake and book discussions. As you know, we’re without a chairperson since your nana passed away. I suppose that’ll be you if you decide to give it a go! I don’t know if you know anything about the club or what we do?’

  I shook my head. ‘I’ve never heard of it. Nana Lily didn’t mention anything about it to me when she was alive.’

  ‘Well, she started it in 2007 just after your granddad Jack died. She was so lonely without him and started the group as a way of being part of things and socialising again. It used to be called the Luna Bay Book Club. Then, one by one, we all started to be affected by grief and tragedy so the ‘broken hearts’ bit was added. We go round the group, say what kind of week we’ve had, then we discuss the book we’ve been reading. This week’s is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.’

  A lump rose in my throat as I learned more about the organisation so close to Nana Lily’s heart. The club had adapted and changed to fit the members’ needs. It had become a source of comfort and support when they’d needed it most. I loved the thought of Nana Lily and her friends finding strength in books and using them to escape from troubled times.

  ‘That’s such a lovely idea Denise.’ I choked back some tears. ‘The Great Gatsby is one of my favourite books too. Did you enjoy it, Diane?’

  Diane didn’t even acknowledge that I’d spoken. She sat with her arms folded, staring into the middle distance. I shrunk back into my seat and stared down at my hands. I’d known this wouldn’t be easy. She still blamed me for what happened to Vicky, after all. Maybe hot-footing it out of the café when I’d had the chance would’ve been the wiser option…

  Denise seemed to sense how awkward things had become and clapped her hands, like that would somehow magic away the tension.

  ‘Now let’s get things started, shall we?’

  Chapter Four

  The meeting was utterly magical. I was introduced to all the other members – Jean, Cath and Frank – and heard their individual stories. Diane’s frostiness towards me continued throughout the meeting, but she allowed the group to welcome me and tell me about themselves. All of them had experienced heartbreak in their own ways, through loss or betrayal, and had found strength in the Broken Hearts Book Club. They’d all joined at different times for their own reasons and I was enchanted by their strength – as I listened, I felt a shift within me. I was welcoming them into my heart and for one perfect hour, I was part of the group, sharing in the highs and lows of each member. It was a wonderful feeling.

  By the time I met George at The Purple Partridge for a drink I was bursting to tell him all about what I had heard.

  ‘There’s Frank, he lost his wife Harriet to Alzheimer’s last year, and Cath’s husband ran off with his Pilates instructor. Jean’s dog Hobie died recently and then there’s Denise who lost her teenage daughter, and Diane whose husband Derek died of a heart attack.’

  ‘So you didn’t get involved or anything then?’ George grinned and rolled his eyes. ‘Just went in for a little look, as usual?’

  ‘It was amazing George; they come together every week and discuss what book they’ve read as well as how they’re coping with their broken hearts. They’re like a little support network for each other and it’s lovely – if Nana Lily thinks I could lead them and help them be happy again then maybe I shouldn’t dismiss that so quickly.’

  ‘Well if you’re looking to swell your ranks, there’s a prime candidate over there.’ He gestured to the bar, where Jake was looking utterly miserable. ‘Go and sprinkle some fairy dust on him and you’ll be able to see if you can do it with the rest of the members.’

  Shaking my shoulders to psyche myself up, I approached the bar. Every step I took felt like I was treading on eggshells. I wasn’t really sure what to say to him, given that I’d accidentally flashed him earlier that morning.

  He smiled when he saw me, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. ‘What can I get you?’

  ‘Two orange juices please.’ I waited until he handed them over before bringing out my fairy dust. ‘You’re not looking too happy. Is everything OK?’

  ‘Nothing that a one-way ticket to Brazil wouldn’t sort out.’ His tone and smile were wry, but I could tell something was lurking underneath that beautiful façade of his. ‘Talking of which, your mum and dad are over at their cottage. Looks like it’ll be dry sooner than they thought, so they’ve moved all your stuff back across. An electrician’s coming to check the electrics are working, but you should be back in your own house before too long.’

  ‘That’s great,’ I said, throwing him a dazzling smile. ‘I reckon we’ll have to ban Dad from trying DIY in the future though! Thanks for putting us up, by the way. I hope we weren’t too much trouble –’ I trailed off blushing when I thought of my impromptu striptease earlier that morning. ‘Why do you fancy a one-way ticket to Brazil, by the way?’ I said hurriedly to change the subject.

  His eyes flicked upwards to look into mine and for a brief moment I could see raw pain and sadness that I’d seen before in the members of the Broken Hearts Book Club. Before I could even begin to wonder about it, he’d plastered a weak smile to his face and was trying to look like nothing was wrong.

  ‘A million and one reasons that I won’t bore you with now. You’re making it hard for me to do my usual cheery barman routine, you know.’

  ‘Sorry. I’ll bugger off and leave you alone if you like?’ I hoped he’d say no so I could delve more into what was bothering him.

  ‘Don’t be silly, it’s not every day we have Luna Bay’s Joni Mitchell in The Purple Partridge. I’d like to make the most of you while you’re here.’

  ‘I prefer Lucy, you know. Joni Mitchell’s just my stage name.’

  When he looked at me, I stuck my tongue out.

  ‘Lucy it is then. Your wish is my command, o talented songstress.’

  My cheeks burned furiously under his gaze. When he turned on his charm, he really was quite lovely. You’d nev
er guess at how sad he was, that was for certain.

  ‘O talented songstress eh? I could get used to that! Now we just need to find a name for you. Let’s see…’ I drummed my fingers on the bar and pretended to think long and hard. ‘How about the Lord of Luna Bay?’

  He grinned, but shook his head, ‘Jake will do fine, Lord Hartley if you really fancy it. In fact, what about Your Highness? I’m the king of all I survey. Which isn’t much but there you go,’ he said, suddenly dropping the bravado and giving me a sheepish smile.

  ‘And yet you still need a miracle worker. Why’s that?’

  His easy smile fell away and was replaced with an expression etched with sorrow and worry. He heaved a sigh and looked at me, probably realising that my line of casual questioning wasn’t going to let up until he confessed.

  ‘Well it could have something to do with the fact that there are livelier morgues than this place! Take a look around, how many people do you see in here?’

  I cast a discreet glance around the main bar. There were around ten people, including George.

  ‘It’s not exactly buzzing, is it?’ I said with a grimace.

  ‘Exactly, and this is an evening – so it should be packed! If you’ve got any spare miracles lying around in your back pocket, toss ‘em my way. I need one!’

  ‘Oh, but there’s loads of things you could do,’ I replied, feeling the cogs in my brain starting to whirr. ‘Why not have a quiz night or something? Those are always popular, and I could help you organise one if you want.’ I blushed and hurried on, hoping he didn’t notice, ‘Or you could do an event that involves the whole community, show them how amazing this place is.’

  Looking back up at Jake I saw his face twisted into a grimace and watched as he concentrated even harder on wiping the bar down.

  ‘No offence, but it’s going to take a lot more than asking people what the capital of Slovakia is to pull this place out of the shit. You haven’t lived here for eight years; things have changed, love. There’s no such thing as a community banding together to save a local business any more. I think you need a reality check.’