The East End Girl in Blue

by Fenella J Miller

  ‘You’re a very sensible and level-headed young lady. That’s exactly what he said. Continue to be the tragic but respectable Mrs Smith and you and your little one will become part of our community. Then Doctor Denny can become a top surgeon and fulfil his potential.’

  ‘He’s going to become the children’s legal guardian and will provide for their education and everything else. He’s asked me to look after them for him as he doesn’t intend to come here again. As far as I’m concerned Billy and Betty will be an older brother and sister to my baby and the three of them will grow up together.

  ‘I’ve got a wonderful home, good friends, and will never have to worry about making ends meet ever again. Some things are just not meant to be.’

  ‘Nobody will ever know what almost happened, Nancy. It will remain a secret between us. My only regret is that we’ll not have Doctor Denny in the parish. I know there will be many others who will regret the fact that he’s no longer going to be part of village life.’

  The conversation gave Nancy much to think about. Thank goodness both of them had realised in time that they were about to make a dreadful mistake. If this Mr Billings hadn’t dragged him away then she would now be Mrs Denny and instead of starting a happy life it would probably have been the beginning of something quite different for both of them.

  She wasn’t going to make any decisions about Mary and Fred at the moment. Living in such a large house on her own with only the children for company would be a bit daunting after spending her life in a two-up two-down terrace in Poplar.

  From now on she would concentrate on being the best mother she could be to the children, a good homemaker, and she’d look forward to the birth of her own baby in three months’ time.

  22

  David immersed himself in his work and if he did get a few hours free he spent it with his nose in a textbook preparing for the two exams Billings had arranged for him to take. He half-hoped that Nancy would continue to write to him but she didn’t.

  The weeks ground past and the days merged one into the other. He didn’t listen to the news, read the newspapers or discuss the progress of the war with anybody. He became taciturn and unapproachable, which meant the invitations to go for a drink or the cinema were no longer given.

  He remained professional and fair at all times at work and none of his team had anything to complain about. The fact that he’d returned a week earlier than expected had been sufficient to tell Billings that things hadn’t gone well.

  He no longer blamed his superior for his part in the debacle and was always civil when in his company. Two days before his exam, the middle of March, he received a letter from his solicitors. Billy and Betty were now legally his wards and he decided that he had no option but to take the documents down to Nancy, but there was no rush. Just the thought of seeing her again made him ill.

  Then something changed his mind. The junior doctor who owned the motorbike went for a burton in an air raid. To David’s surprise the bike appeared outside his digs two days afterwards. It was delivered by a scruffy-looking individual in a flat cap and rubber boots.

  ‘This is yours, mate. Young Percy asked me to bring it to you if he bought it. Ain’t got no family what would want it.’

  ‘Thank you.’ He could think of nothing else to say as, as far as he was concerned, he’d been given a pile of junk on wheels. No civilian, apart from Billings and people like him who no doubt got it on the black market somehow, had any petrol so he couldn’t use it even if he wanted to.

  He handed the man a pound note and he seemed satisfied with the exchange. ‘The tank’s full and so’s the can. You’ll get a few hundred miles from that. Young Percy had a mate what drove an ambulance and helped him out like with the fuel. I reckon you could do the same being in the same line of work.’

  Referring to the deceased doctor as “young Percy” made him sound like something out of a Shakespearean play. He’d get his exams out of the way and then he’d take the legal documents about the children, and also the title deed for the house and the necessary bank details for Nancy to access the trust fund. This was not only for her use but also to pay any necessary expenses for Billy and Betty.

  The exams were a doddle but he rather thought that even if he’d written total nonsense Billings would still have made sure he passed with distinction. He finished the last paper at two o’clock and didn’t have to be on duty until midnight. Ample time to get to Chalfont Major and back.

  The gift of the bike had come with the necessary clothing to make riding it more comfortable and safer. He scrambled into the overalls, pushed his feet into the boots, put on the helmet, goggles and gloves and was ready to kick the bike into life.

  He roared into the village an hour later. This meant he had a couple of hours before it started to get dark. He didn’t want to drive at night in the blackout if he could avoid it. He parked the bike on its stand close to the hedge – no point in taking it in as he wasn’t going to be there long.

  There was a slight noise and Polly sailed over the hedge almost flattening him when she landed. He staggered about trying to keep his balance and failed miserably. He ended up half in the hedge. The dog was so excited to see him she was yelping and jumping up at him. Each time her front paws landed on his chest he was more firmly embedded in the greenery.

  Then Fred peered over the hedge. ‘I wondered why the blooming animal had vanished so fast. Hang on, sir, I’ll be around to pull you out in no time.’

  It took the combined efforts of the passing postman and Fred to extricate him. The noise and fuss had alerted the occupants of the house. This wasn’t the way he’d intended to arrive but at least it broke the ice.

  ‘Doctor Denny, what a surprise,’ Nancy said, trying hard not to laugh. She was even more beautiful than he’d remembered and to his surprise and concern she didn’t really seem a lot bigger than she had when he’d left. She was in her third trimester – around thirty-three weeks and looked much less than that.

  ‘I’ve got some documents for you and thought I’d bring them down myself. Rather than standing around laughing at me, Mrs Smith, why don’t you go inside and put the kettle on. After being stuck in a hedge I’ll need tea to revive me.’

  ‘The children will be delighted that you’re here. They talk constantly of you and wonder why you don’t come and see them or even write to them.’

  She grabbed the dog by her collar and led her away. Her gentle reprimand was well deserved. What had happened between Nancy and himself was nothing to do with the little ones. However difficult it was in future he would keep in touch with them.

  ‘Good thing you’re wearing them overalls, sir. You’d have some nasty scratches otherwise,’ Fred said as they walked around to the kitchen door together.

  ‘Very true. The garden’s looking splendid.’ He listened and couldn’t hear the happy snorting of the pigs. ‘Plenty of pork to eat now I suppose?’

  ‘There is. You won’t believe a little thing like Mrs Smith, and her in the family way too, could butcher a carcass so neatly. The neighbours were that impressed. We’ll have another couple of piglets coming in the spring.’

  The gardener stomped off, leaving David to enter the house without support. He needn’t have worried about his reception. The children threw themselves at him as soon as he stepped into the kitchen.

  ‘Uncle David, why were you stuck in the hedge? Auntie Nancy says Polly did it,’ Billy said as he grinned up at him. The boy was almost unrecognisable. He’d grown and filled out and even his East End accent had almost gone.

  ‘Uncle David, me’s a big girl now. Do you like my new frock? Auntie Nancy made it.’

  Betty was no longer a toddler but a little girl – and a very pretty one at that. Her hair was neatly plaited and tied with pink ribbons that exactly matched the colour of her dress.

  ‘Your frock’s beautiful, sweetheart. Now, please may I stand up and take off my overalls?’

  *

  Whilst Nancy was apparently watchin
g the interaction between David and the children she was actually studying him. He’d lost weight, but it suited him. He certainly looked leaner and fitter but he also looked harder – less approachable.

  It had been two months since she’d seen him and she was confident even the Stantons weren’t aware how unhappy she’d been. There were posters everywhere telling people to keep calm and carry on – that’s exactly what she was doing.

  Dr Jones was out on visits and Jill, as always, had gone home until she was needed for evening surgery. Mary was laid up in bed with a feverish cold and Nancy was enjoying having the house and the children to herself.

  ‘Run along to the sitting room, children. I need to talk to Uncle David in peace. I’ll call you in a little while for your milk and biscuits.’

  They ran off laughing and chatting – they were no trouble at all. She already loved them as if they were actually her own and from the way David’s face had lit up, as it used to do when he’d looked at her, he felt the same way about them.

  He’d gone back into the boot room in order to remove his overalls, which gave her a few minutes to compose herself and be ready to talk to him as if she’d really moved on with her life and no longer cried most nights at losing him.

  ‘Nancy, are you seeing the midwife?’ His abrupt question wasn’t what she was expecting.

  ‘I saw her a few weeks ago.’

  ‘I need to examine you. Don’t argue – this is a professional matter. It needs to be in the surgery.’

  He looked so grave she didn’t argue. She’d been concerned herself that she’d not really got much bigger than she’d been when she was six months gone.

  ‘The baby’s kicking so I know it’s all right.’ He was probably concerned the baby had died and that’s why she wasn’t any bigger.

  She hopped up onto the examination bed and he politely turned his back as she pulled up her maternity dress and pushed down her knickers.

  ‘I just want to check on the size of the baby. I expected you to be much bigger by now as you’ve only got seven weeks to go to your delivery date.’

  ‘What with one thing and another I’ve lost a bit of weight all over. I do try and eat enough to keep us both healthy but sometimes it’s hard.’

  Having him lean over her naked belly, having him run his hands across the distended skin, even though he was being totally professional, was agony for her. She wanted to reach up and smooth back his hair. There were flecks of grey in it that hadn’t been there two months ago.

  He listened to the heartbeat after he’d finished prodding and poking and measuring and then stepped back and turned away. ‘Come next door and we can talk as soon as you’re ready.’

  She walked in and he was smiling. The weight in her chest lifted. ‘Is everything all right?’

  ‘Everything is exactly as it should be. The baby’s a good size and the heartbeat’s strong and regular. I’ve seen this happen occasionally with expectant mothers. Nothing to worry about.’

  ‘Then why isn’t my front any bigger if the baby’s the right size?’

  ‘Because you’ve accommodated the pregnancy by expanding width wise. There’s no more room for the baby to develop that way so I’m certain your front will become much larger over the next few weeks.’

  ‘I mustn’t stay in here any longer because I can’t hear the children if they need me. Mary’s not well.’

  ‘Then we’ll continue our conversation in the kitchen with that cup of tea you promised me. I don’t suppose you’ve got anything to eat – I’ve been taking exams since early this morning and haven’t eaten since last night.’

  ‘I’m not surprised you’ve lost weight if you don’t eat for twenty-four hours. You work too hard. Don’t tell me there’s a war on – I blooming well know that.’

  Soon he was munching his way through the remainder of last night’s rabbit stew and draining his third mug of tea. She took the children’s mid-afternoon snack in to them.

  ‘You can eat this in here if you promise not to make a mess. I know Auntie Mary doesn’t like you having food or drink in the sitting room but just this once I’m sure she won’t mind.’

  Once she was seated again he pushed over some official-looking brown envelopes. ‘These are the legal papers you need in order to look after Billy and Betty properly. If there was an accident of some sort you might not be able to contact me quickly so I’ve arranged it that you can make decisions for them in my stead.’

  She didn’t open the documents, as she could do that when he’d gone. She didn’t want to waste a minute of this visit on something as boring as paperwork.

  ‘Thank you for taking the trouble to bring them in person. Doctor Jones and Jill are now engaged and intend to get married in June. She’s got a lovely big house so there’s plenty of room for the both of them.’

  ‘Have you made any decision about Mary and Fred?’

  ‘I have. I’ve spoken to them about it and they’re keen to have their own home again. An old gentleman just up the road died last week and the cottage belongs to the church. The vicar’s agreed to let them rent it from him.’

  ‘That sounds like a good idea. You need Fred in the garden but I can see that you don’t really need Mary.’

  ‘She’s found herself another job looking after an old lady in the big house at the end of the village. It’s not a live-in appointment and she won’t be needed every day either as the daughter-in-law lives on the premises as well.’

  ‘I don’t want you to do everything here. It’s a large house. You’re going to need some help with the housework at least.’

  ‘I can manage just fine without anyone else. I don’t like being waited on. You promised to spend a bit more time with the children before you leave so why don’t you join them whilst I tidy up in here?’

  ‘Keep Mary on until after you’re delivered. You’ll need the extra help until then.’

  ‘All right I’ll ask her when she’s better. They’ll be moving as soon as the cottage has been sorted out but her new job needn’t start before I have the baby.’ She pointed at the sitting room from which the sound of the children playing could be heard.

  ‘I’m going; I don’t need telling again.’

  *

  David did as she asked, knowing she was finding the conversation as difficult as he was. He stayed for another hour and then left, not sure if he could bear to come again when just being close to her and not being able to touch her almost destroyed him.

  He made vague promises to the children that he would visit again. The dog, having greeted him so enthusiastically, was now curled up on her bed refusing to look at him. He bent down and stroked her silky head. ‘Good girl. I know you miss me but you’ve got Nancy and the children now.’

  His eyes were damp. Bloody stupid crying over a dog but he supposed it was better than doing so over the woman he loved but could never be with. One could only hope that the pain of being separated from Nancy would eventually lessen as the months passed.

  His workload increased after he officially qualified. About once or twice a week he scrubbed in with Billings in order to learn the correct techniques and procedures for something more complex. He didn’t like the man but he was an excellent mentor.

  The Blitz continued and he had nothing but admiration for the women of the East End who somehow kept their families together. Last week, on the 16th April, hundreds of planes dropped around a hundred thousand bombs in an all-night attack and it was declared the heaviest of the war so far.

  It took three days to clear casualty and so much death and injury – often the women and children – was the worst part of it. In order to lighten his mood he decided to write to the children and include a bag of sweets he’d managed to buy with his rations. Before he posted the parcel he rang the vicarage.

  Mrs Stanton answered. ‘Doctor Denny, I’m so glad that you called. I know that you’re not keeping in touch with Nancy but I thought you’d like to know there are complications. Doctor Jones is most concerned
.’

  ‘I’ll ring him now.’ He hung up without saying goodbye. He was connected quickly and asked Jill to put Simon on the phone.

  ‘I just heard Nancy has problems with the pregnancy. What’s wrong?’

  ‘The baby’s breech. I doubt she’ll be able to deliver vaginally. It will have to be a C-section.’

  ‘Have you tried to turn it?’

  ‘Good God, of course not. I shouldn’t be discussing this with you, old man, confidentiality and all that.’

  ‘Has Nancy agreed to have a caesarean?’

  ‘Like a sensible girl she’ll do whatever I advise. I’ve a string of patients waiting so forgive me if I get on with it.’ The line went dead – Simon wasn’t happy that his medical judgement had been called into question.

  Nancy only had just over three weeks to her due date and could go into labour at any time. He couldn’t stand by and do nothing even though, as Simon had reminded him, she was nothing to do with him now.

  He went in search of Billings. He explained the situation. It was immediately assumed that he was actually the father of this child and he didn’t disabuse his boss.

  ‘Why the devil didn’t you marry her when you had the opportunity?’

  ‘I would have done if you hadn’t dragged me to Northampton. This gave her time to reconsider and she decided she wouldn’t fit into my world. She’s beautiful, intelligent and compassionate and makes me laugh; however, she has little formal education and I taught her to read and write properly myself.’

  Billings was looking at him with disgust. ‘You fathered a child with her. A gentleman would have done the right thing. I don’t know you – you’re not the man I thought you were.’ He stared down his aristocratic nose and then strode away, disapproval apparent in every step.

  God this was an absolute disaster on all fronts. If he told the true story then, instead of being thought an absolute bastard for abandoning the mother of his unborn child, he would be considered unhinged.