Trouble in Loveland

by Jennifer Peel

  He replied right back, “You’re welcome. Prepare yourself for a weekend of fun.”

  “I’m more than ready.”

  “Perfect. I’ll see you soon.”

  My hopes about our relationship soared in a way that they hadn’t previously. Maybe there was some hope for us after all.

  Ryan was true to his word, he really had planned out a super fun weekend. Friday night was laser tag, which Josh found to be amazing. I had more fun watching him trying to shoot his daddy than playing myself. I found that I missed Josh during the week. I couldn’t even imagine how Ryan felt. I knew Krissy thought it was weird that a lot of our dates included Josh, but I found I liked it.

  That night Josh asked if I would put him to bed. I was quite pleased and honored, but I looked to Ryan for approval. Ryan nodded and smiled. Josh took me by the hand and pulled me toward his room. I grabbed onto Ryan’s hand. “I think your dad should help.”

  Ryan smiled, got up, and followed us.

  I didn’t want to take away one of his nights. He only had a few every week.

  Ryan took one side of his bed, and I took the other. I pulled Josh’s light blanket over him and read his favorite book about fire trucks to him. When the book was over, Josh requested that I sing for him.

  Ryan looked surprised; it wasn’t the first time I had put Josh to bed, but it was the first time with his dad there. I had watched him a couple of times when my dad and Ryan had late night business meetings with clients or potential clients, and then there was that time I babysat when he’d had a date.

  I brushed Josh’s brow gently with my hand. He had the softest skin, and I loved his curly red hair and those eyes that looked just like his dad’s. “What do you want me to sing?”

  “Close your eyes,” he requested. Not quite the title, but close enough.

  I sang softly, and Josh closed his eyes. I snuck a glance at his dad who was looking at me tenderly. I finished and kissed Josh’s forehead.

  He opened his big eyes. “I love you, Cherry.” He had never said that before.

  My heart melted into a big pile of goo. “I love you, too.” I kissed his forehead once more. “Sleep tight.”

  I looked over to find Ryan looking unsure, but he quickly turned to his son and hugged and kissed him goodnight.

  We walked out quietly together. As soon as we were in the living room, I pulled him to me until we were face to face. “Did it bother you that Josh said he loved me?”

  His gaze was thoughtful. “No, I just worry.”

  “About what?”

  “For starters, what his mom will think. This isn’t easy for her. I think she feels threatened by you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re young, beautiful, and fun, and I think Josh talks about you quite a bit.”

  I couldn’t help but smile a little about that fact. I was touched he talked about me. “I’m not trying to replace his mother. And from what I remember, she’s young and beautiful, too.”

  “She’s older than me.”

  “Really? So you like older women?”

  “It’s usually who I’ve dated in the past.”

  “Oh.”

  He let go of my hand and placed his around me at the small of my back, pulled me toward him, and smiled seductively. “But, I’m thinking of turning over a new leaf,” he said before he kissed me. Our lips matched so perfectly together, but I let him be the guide, and as always, the tour was sweet, but short.

  I didn’t want to be done with him. I embraced him and let my head fall on his shoulder. I had this desire to be close to him, and not just physically. I was happy when he reciprocated and drew me as close as he could. I felt the lightest of kisses on the top of my head. I wanted to stay like that forever, but suddenly I felt this wash of warmth and felt more than I should for him, at least at this point in our relationship. It scared me, for more reasons than one. I was the one to back away this time.

  It was his turn to look confused. “Are you ok?”

  I nodded and gave him a small smile. I tried to shake off the feeling and the temporary insanity of it, but it wasn’t going anywhere as I looked at him. I wasn’t sure where it was all coming from. This was new to me. I was grateful for the early day we planned on having the next day; it gave me a great excuse to leave. I wasn’t ready for such feelings for him, especially since I knew they weren’t shared. I told myself to relax—no one had to know but, me.

  I woke up feeling a little unsettled from the previous night’s revelation. I hoped I would wake up and those feelings wouldn’t be there, but I did a gut check and they were alive and well. I reminded myself no one had to know but me, so it was ok. I showered and threw on my turquoise tankini with halter straps and a white sarong. We were headed to Water World today before it closed for the season. Josh was looking forward to it; he loved the water. I was, too. I hadn’t been to Water World in forever, but as a teenager, it was one of those places I was constantly begging my parents to take me and my friends to.

  I didn’t need to bother with makeup since we would be in the water and sun all day, so I just threw up my hair, moisturized, and called it good. The traditional Saturday music was on; this time it was Heart’s “What About Love.” It was eerily fitting. What about love? I thought. Why did I have to fall in love with a man that was so clearly not in love with me? Sure, he liked me, I would even say he cared for me and he enjoyed being with me, but there was a serious roadblock around his heart, and he did a great job of keeping me going through detour after detour. I wanted someone to talk to about it, but no one could know how much I felt for him. Not even Krissy.

  My dad was singing along to the music as he made omelets. He was in such a good mood lately. He turned when he heard me approach. He grabbed his heart and his eyes widened. “Whoa, baby girl!”

  “What?”

  “I’ll pay you to go put on a turtleneck.”

  I laughed at him. “Daddy.”

  “I’m serious.”

  I walked over and kissed his cheek. “I love you.”

  “If you love me, you won’t leave the house looking like that.”

  I dished up an omelet and reveled in the love and protection of my dad.

  “So, what are you doing today?” I asked as I sat down.

  “Besides going into cardiac arrest, I’m going to hit the lake and get in some fishing.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Sounds like fun. Are you going with anyone?”

  He looked me over again nervously. “I think I’m going to need to have a talk with Ryan.”

  Why did he ignore my question? That wasn’t like him, but I didn’t address it. “Don’t worry, Dad, Ryan’s a complete gentleman.” Does it sound bad that I wished sometimes he wasn’t? I would love to have to tell him to slow down once in a while.

  My dad looked like perhaps he didn’t quite believe me.

  “Really, he is.”

  “That’s good to know, but what about all the other men that will see you today?”

  “I wouldn’t worry about that, either. There will be plenty of bikini clad beach babes there.”

  “You know what I love about you?” my dad asked.

  “My wit?”

  “There’s that.” He laughed for a moment. “I was going to say, you never let how gorgeous you are go to your head.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You are so biased.”

  “I have good reason to be.”

  Have I mentioned how much I loved my dad? It made me feel terrible for all of the time I wasted hating him, especially since my mother and I were now barely speaking. She was so wrapped up in her own world right now, it was like she had replaced me, which really hurt after everything I went through with her. It was one more emotional issue not to dwell on today.

  I helped my dad clean up the kitchen before brushing my teeth and throwing together my beach bag. It wasn’t much later that two of my favorite people came to get me.

  Ryan stood at the door, and Josh was in the car, all buckled in
, with the window down. He waved to me as soon as I answered the door with bag in hand.

  I turned to Ryan, who looked like he was at a loss for words, and said, “Hi.”

  He shook his head. “Wow, Charlee.”

  “Do you like my new swimsuit?”

  He reached behind me, touched my bare back, and drew me to him. I was surprised because he was very cautious about how much affection he showed me in front of Josh. I barely caught a glimpse of his hungry eyes before he kissed me hard, but very briefly.

  “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  “I’m only sorry I didn’t take you to the water park earlier.”

  I looked him over in his swim trunks and tight tee and thought the same thing. I was looking forward to that t-shirt coming off.

  “Daddy, let’s go,” Josh yelled, breaking the fiery connection I had going with his father. This wasn’t helping me keep my feelings for him under control.

  “I guess we better go,” Ryan said in a low voice

  “That’s probably a good idea,” I said coyly.

  Ryan quickly kissed me one more time, took my hand, led me to the passenger side, and opened my door, but not before kissing me again. Oooh, I liked this Ryan; ok, I loved this Ryan.

  “You’re in a good mood today,” I commented as I got in.

  He winked in response before closing my door for me.

  I turned back to Josh. “Hey, big guy. Are you ready to play in the water?”

  He gave me a thumbs up. “But I have to stay by you and daddy all day.” We had gone over and over the rules with him last night. I was glad he remembered.

  “That’s right. We don’t want anything to happen to you because we love you.”

  “I love you, Cherry.”

  Yep, that was never going to get old. I looked at Ryan to see how he felt about it this morning. He just threw on his shades and smiled. I took that as a good sign. And did I mention how amazing he looked? He hadn’t bothered to shave this morning, and I loved it. A little scruff on a man was so sexy to me, and he pulled it off with flying colors.

  Once on the main road, Ryan took my hand and slid his fingers between mine; they fit perfectly. I also noticed the covert glances he snuck in when he could, but Josh occupied most of my time for the hour long drive. We were working on the alphabet song.

  “A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, High J’s,” it sounded like. I also enjoyed the, Lelephant P’s, which I translated into L, M, N, O, P. He was the most adorable kid on the planet.

  “You didn’t tell me you could sing something besides ‘Ring Around the Rosie’,” Ryan cut in.

  “You know, I’m just trying to keep a little mystery.”

  “So what other talents have you been hiding from me?”

  “It would take the fun out of it if I told you.”

  “I look forward to discovering those.”

  I swear if he wasn’t driving and if his son wasn’t a witness in the backseat, I would have reached over and kissed him until we were both gasping for air. Instead, I taught Josh a new song about the “Five Little Speckled Frogs.” It was amusing to both father and son as I pretended to eat bugs and sang loudly. Josh had me singing it over and over again. His favorite word was “again,” and I was a sucker for him.

  Though I did a good job of entertaining Josh, he was more than excited when we arrived. He was trying to undo his car seat before his dad could even get to him. I was pretty excited, too. I finally felt like maybe some of the barriers were going to come down.

  Once we made it through what seemed like a never ending line to enter and we locked up our valuables, it was time to apply serious amounts of sunscreen to Josh, who was very fair-skinned like his mother. Ryan already had a call from her on our drive in warning him that Josh better not have even a patch of sunburn on him. Ryan promised we wouldn’t let that happen. I could hear her say, “I suppose Charlee is with you.” She said my name with such disdain. I was really trying my hardest to not let it get to me. As weird as it sounds, I wanted us all to get along. I wanted to be part of Ryan and Josh’s life, and I knew she was part of the package. I had read enough studies that showed that it’s possible and, more importantly, beneficial for the children involved to see the adults in their lives behave in such a way.

  Once we had Josh lathered up and in his swim vest, it was time for his daddy to remove his shirt. His chest was as glorious as I had imagined. He was defined, not like six pack defined, but well sculpted. I snuck in glances of him applying sunscreen while I applied my own to my legs. He kept looking my way, too. I think it was safe to say we were kind of into each other.

  Ryan came and sat behind me. “Let me get your back.”

  I happily handed over my sunscreen.

  His hands felt so good gliding across my back. I could tell he was taking his time. He leaned in low and whispered in my ear, since Josh was sitting in my lap. “You are beautiful, Charlee Jensen.”

  I turned toward him and kissed him once. I barely caught the taste of his lip balm.

  He gave a small sexy grin. “Now it’s my turn.”

  I was more than happy to oblige.

  He took Josh out of my arms, and we switched spots. I knelt behind him and enjoyed the feel of his skin beneath my hands. I wanted to dig in and really rub his back, but I resisted the urge. “Speaking of beautiful,” I said as I finished up.

  “You’re good for a guy’s ego. Not many women compliment men the way you do.”

  “Well, there’s plenty more where that came from.”

  He chuckled as he stood up with Josh, who was beyond anxious to hit the water. Sunscreen was just a nuisance to a three-year-old. We didn’t tell him this would be an hourly occurrence.

  Since Josh was too little to ride most of the attractions, we were limited to family rides where we could all ride together in a raft or kiddie land. I didn’t mind at all, I was just happy to spend the day with the Carter men. Besides, floating on the water enclosed in a floating device with the three of us was like heaven to me. Josh’s squeals of delight were just icing on the cake. Everything to him was exciting and new. He particularly loved the Pharaohs ride. My favorite was the lazy river. Josh and Ryan rode on one tube and I had my own, but Ryan held my hand as we casually drifted along the slow moving water. I could have stayed like that all day, basking in the sun and holding hands with my guy, but Josh found it to be a little too tame for his liking.

  We traded the lazy river in for the shallow end of the wave pool. Josh loved it when either Ryan or I jumped in the waves with him. I loved watching the two of them together, and I loved them both. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I did.

  The rest of our day was spent in Calypso Cove where there was a myriad of activities, from small water slides to splash pads made just for younger kids. Josh did everything. He didn’t even want to eat lunch, but we made him take a break for food and sunscreen.

  As we sat at a picnic table under the shade of one of their pavilions, we had a little blip. I should have known not to have gotten too comfortable around Ryan. A dear little lady was there with her grandchildren who looked to be about five and seven. They were at the table next to us, and she kept looking over at us and smiling. I think I was the only one that noticed; Ryan and Josh were busy eating.

  I smiled back at her, and she said, “You have such a cute little boy; my son had hair just like that.”

  I started off by saying, “Thank you. He’s definitely cute, but …”

  Ryan’s head flew up. “She’s not his mother,” he said in almost a panic.

  I was getting to that part.

  The lady looked a little taken aback at his panicked state.

  I tried to smile kindly at her and smooth it over. I turned to Ryan, who was sitting on the other side of Josh, and he didn’t get such a reception. “I know I’m not his mother. I was trying to tell her that,” I said very quietly. I put my sandwich down, suddenly not very hungry anymore.

  At first, Ryan looked surprised at my reaction, but his eyes s
oftened and realization settled in. “Charlee.”

  I turned to Josh and kissed his head. “I’ll be right back, big guy.” I wasn’t sure where I was going to go, but I wanted a moment alone. My heart hurt a little. I wasn’t hurt that Ryan would point out I wasn’t his son’s mother, it was the way he said it, like he had to say it. I stood up.

  So did Ryan. “Charlee, I’m sorry.”

  I pressed my lips together and walked off. I decided I would go to their surf shop and browse. I didn’t know where else to head. The whole way over, I scolded myself for falling in love with him and then wondered why I did.

  I perused the store, not even remotely interested in anything they were selling. Unfortunately, I must have looked like I was mildly interested because one of their over-friendly sales guys kept following me around asking me if he could answer any questions or help me find anything, I think I said, “no, thank you” ten times, but that didn’t deter Paul, according to his name tag.

  “So do you live around here?” he asked.

  “Uh, no. Not really.”

  “That’s too bad.”

  I picked up an azure blue towel and looked it over. “Why?” I looked up at him, and he was a tad red. I smiled. He seemed like a nice kid, and I mean kid, like high school kid. I was so glad when I heard my name being called. I needed a graceful way to exit this uncomfortable, yet kind of flattering, situation.

  “Charlee,” Ryan called my name as he was walking over.

  Josh ran to me. I picked him up and cuddled him as soon as he got to me.

  “Oh, you’re a mom?”

  “No,” I said, almost in exasperation.

  Ryan joined us, looked at Paul, and kind of snickered. That sent my little admirer scurrying away. Ryan faced me as soon as he left and shook his head at me. “Poor kid.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “I can’t say I blame him. He has excellent taste.”

  “Can we go back in the water now?” Josh asked.

  “If it’s ok with your dad.” I didn’t want to overstep my non-parental bounds.

  We both looked to Ryan to answer.

  Ryan’s face registered understanding. “I’m not in charge.”

  “You are of Josh.”