Twin Flames: Soul Memory

by Alix Richards

  He gently kissed her jaw. He drew her scent deep into his lungs, imprinting it on his consciousness. Jairo wished he could bathe in her aroma, a flowery bouquet of lavender and chamomile, a very calming and soothing blend.

  “What’s your name, baby?” He opened his eyes and sent the words whispering along their mental link. She wouldn’t respond. She never did. Why?

  Part of him wanted her forever wrapped safely in his arms, but that wasn’t possible. One of them would awaken and what appeared real would be shown for actuality.

  A dream…not reality.

  Jairo decided he’d watch her sleep. She needed rest. He wished she’d take better care of herself. She made sure everyone else was well cared for, but not herself. He wanted to demand she do a better job, he couldn’t though. His hands were tied until he found her.

  When they met in the dream realm just the two of them existed, alone. The questions he needed answers to were forgotten. He’d been too damn happy to see her. Nothing else mattered.

  Would he ever have disclosure?

  She was thinner than he remembered as her ribs brushed his arm when she inhaled. Had his absence and wanting to escape their connection caused her decline in health?

  He had his moment of desiring to escape whatever plagued him and brought her to him. In that time Jairo learned early on drugs kept him numb. They also locked him in a fantasy world she couldn’t penetrate. He hadn’t seen her in the dreamscape realm any of the times he shot up.

  Clean now, he wondered why he had fallen for the seduction of the needle.

  Those questions he wanted disclosure on, but certain things were better off left alone. Maybe these were one of them.

  From now on, he’d be within calling distance of her. He made a choice when he got clean. He would live for and eventually find her.

  “I will correct the wrongs done to you, mi amor.”

  * * * *

  Another memory…or was it his thoughts? Jairo didn’t know, but had a feeling this was the “Joy” his sister kept mentioning.

  Was it a different moment or the same occurrence?

  A deep seeded voice stated firmly it was a variance, not the exact one as prior. This had been that young woman’s life. They were her recollections, past events in her life that, by some unexplainable chance, they shared. Was it even possible they could share dreams as well as memories from each other’s life?

  Jairo wanted to ask Jezzaray. She had not left him like earlier; he heard her breathing and the turning of pages. His lips couldn’t move, still they stayed closed.

  A silent scream echoed through his mind, it was his own.

  Chapter Five

  Joy sat curled in the corner of the room with blankets and pillows around her. Her body ached, but she couldn’t stop the shakes that attacked her frame since waking from the nightmare.

  Were they her memories? Did both events actually happen?

  Her mother’s logic was the reason behind her abusive relationship. The repeated rapes and beatings were all her own attempt to prove her mother right.

  Her mind remained silent on its secrets.

  She knew the person who gave birth to her wasn’t at direct fault, it was the words used that caused the confusion within her during those times.

  You cannot know a person without physically knowing them.

  Then she’d state clearly…Listen to your gut, it’ll never steer you wrong.

  None of the pieces fell into their rightful places. Words rolled over, but nothing sparked recognition beyond that. The dreams and nightmares that haunted her every time she closed her eyes were all she had. It roiled her stomach to know she refused to fight that abusive man.

  If I would’ve fought, the damage to my body would have been worse.

  Even that knowledge did not settle her. From somewhere she knew submitting to the abuser limited the extent of physical trauma. But, did that make her a weak female?

  Joy pulled her knees tighter to her chest, her gaze locked on the door. Would it open like the one in her night terror?

  No, from a place deep inside she knew she’d left the abusive man and rebuilt herself. What she saw were memories, repressed memories. Although she could not personally recall them, a part of her recognized them. An instant in history where her self-worth was so low she believed she deserved the forced sex, each strike and every brutal verbal assault.

  “You are worth so much more than that, baby.” His voice caressed the walls of her mind and wrapped itself around her heart.

  Who was he?

  Joy wanted to respond to the soft warmth and unconditional acceptance his presence exuded, it was the uncertainty of who she really was that kept her silent. It was her same reaction to calling the people in her contacts. She didn’t know herself so how could she trust there wasn’t a reason she was apart from her family?

  There had to be a motive, something deep within her remained hesitant.

  Gut instinct…she would trust it. As of right this second, it was the only thing she could be certain of one hundred percent. Herself and what she sensed, the opposite of what her mother claimed.

  Joy tugged the blanket up and scooted down. Resting her head to the side, she inhaled and exhaled until the terrified sensation eased from her body.

  It wasn’t completely gone, just dropped a notch or two so she could relax.

  His essence was there, as if he sat beside her on the linens. His hand touched her shoulder and his breath caressed her throat as his fingers brushed at the tears on her cheek.

  She swallowed the lump.

  “Shhh, baby, I am here. I’m not going anywhere…ever.”

  More tears gathered as his tenderness reached in, past her fear. Joy wanted to trust him with everything, let him take care of what she couldn’t remember. Let him fill the emptiness that seemed to be her life now.

  Nothing could bring herself to voice the words aloud, not yet.

  She was not weak…no matter what those visions showed. They only proved she made a wrong decision somewhere. As long as it wasn’t repeated it was not useless.

  Whoever Joy Lyons-Morgan was, she seemed determined and stubborn. She would continue learning about herself, on her own terms, because there was a reason for her memory loss. A lesson she needed to learn at a deeper level than the physical perception.

  Everything happens for a reason…

  Joy recognized those words, only the person who said them she couldn’t bring to the forefront of her mind. The phrase was a favorite, their answer for everything that transpired in life. Part of her wanted to pack her things and return to living life. Was that what she had been doing when she lost herself…living life?

  No matter how hard she tried, the door that kept her memories locked away would not budge. Only when she slept and was unaware did those past lives peek out and tease her with what had been at one time.

  Was it possible to sleep forever? At least until she knew who she was again?

  Sighing, she closed her eyes as tears flooded her vision. Burying her face in her bent knees, she let the soft blanket soak up her sadness and heartache.

  * * * *

  “Stop worrying. His transfer went smoothly, Jezzaray. The nurse’s comments while in flight indicate nothing out of the ordinary occurred in his brain activity.”

  The shuffle of papers caught Jairo’s attention, drawing him away from the sadness he sensed.

  “As I said before, there is no reason for your brother to remain comatose. Every test we have run since his arrival came back normal. His brain wave patterns show when he’s dreaming and when he is actually asleep.”

  “So where does that leave us, Dr. Newland?” The bed jostled as Jezzaray spoke.

  The silence was deafening. If he’d been awake he could have done something to end it, but he remained helpless, unable to move or speak. Something he detested.

  “Have you considered this may have nothing to do with him physically and everything to do with his other half?”

&
nbsp; “The cats?” his sister’s voice dropped in octaves as she spoke the single word that was the difference between them and the rest of the human race.

  “No, the feline side isn’t affected by his concussion.” Soles squeaked on the floor and the door clicked. “I am talking about his Twin Flame.”

  “He’s met her.”

  “Have you spoken with her?”

  “Not since Jay’s accident, no. She hasn’t returned my calls. Why?”

  “Now, this is just a possibility, but it could be she is the reason behind him not waking.”

  “I’m not sure I understand?” Confusion laced Jezzaray’s words, an abnormal state when it came to his sister.

  “Let’s say, she’s suffered a concussion. If so, whatever she deals with, your brother will also. On a slightly different level, of course, it would explain why he hasn’t woke up.”

  “So, it’s similar to one of them losing their temper and the other being taken along?” The lightness of her tone said she was refraining from laughing. Jairo didn’t blame her.

  Could it be as easy as that? No wonder the foreign doctor had found nothing.

  “Pretty much. There is not a whole lot known about Twin Flames. Many people have their own views concerning them, but with a hybrid, we fall under the most ancient of laws. Like those who are blood bound and one dies, the other will also.”

  Was that what happened with him? Had the other half of his soul suffered a similar injury and that is why he can’t seem to climb out of his mind?

  Did she lose her memory? He hadn’t, he recognized most of the voices, knew himself and his family. Jairo just couldn’t recall this Joy person. Could she remember him?

  It was slowly starting to make sense, in an odd way.

  What is illogical to everyone else is logical to us…

  She’d said those words to him once. The exact time lost on him, but they were familiar in a way everything else was that revolved around her.

  Again, he drifted along on a wave of oblivion.

  * * * *

  He couldn’t get enough by just touching her. Jairo had to claim her to soothe the agony that threatened to drown him. This tiny slip of a female filled him completely and he overflowed with emotion he hadn’t known he was capable of feeling. He slowly eased his body into hers and took her mouth in desperation to appease the animal.

  Only this woman gave him peace from his assumed misdeeds.

  Each time they met in dreamscape, it was the same. They would talk or argue about matters unimportant to either of them, to him it seemed like a struggle. Not just any kind, but a power struggle. Who was in control?

  Then they would almost attack each other trying to get closer to the heat and skin that tormented them. Tearing at their clothes until they gave way and in a sexual frenzy, they would collapse entwined. Finally satisfied after having reached what they hungered for, bare intimacy.

  Her nails raked his back, drawing him in, and he growled. She was going to kill him with the intensity of pleasure that tore through his body. He was not close enough. He had to get closer.

  He desperately needed her to be a real person and not a fantasy.

  The golden flame that emanated from within her called to Jairo, teasing him into the more intimate connection. It coaxed him to release the loneliness, heartache and horror that swamped his waking life. To let her embrace him and take the sadness that tried to consume him. He trailed his lips along her jaw to her throat and scraped his canines against her collarbone. Joy’s gasp surged through him as if it were his own. She arched her back, thrusting his dick deeper, a claiming bordering on painful.

  Her eyes rolled closed and her jaw slackened as the orgasm took hold. He loved watching her come undone, a beautiful event akin to a death and rebirth happening all at once.

  Jairo set his jaw to concentrate on the slow pace and not succumb to the tantalizing siren’s call of release. Awe flooded him at the realization she belonged to him.

  “Please, see me—Feel me…” he forced the words out as unspeakable pleasure ripped through him and his body tightened.

  The intense sensation of her inner muscles caressing his cock made him want to pull out. At the same time, he never wanted the feeling to end. He could die inside her, right then, and not be bothered with the future. The passion-filled expression on her face and her breathy moans teased him with the possibility of a longer ride to the edge of euphoria, but he couldn’t catch his breath.

  “Please—be real…find me.”

  His heart constricted at her cry and his throat tightened.

  “I promise.” Jairo took her lips with his and tasted the saltiness of tears.

  Were they hers or his?

  Chapter Six

  Joy stood in the middle of the room taking stock. Every item put back in their rightful places among her luggage, but something was still amiss.

  Her memory…

  Swallowing, she glanced at the flight schedule in her hand. It was time.

  Unable to connect the dots in her mind while remaining locked away in an unfamiliar city with nothing of her own surrounding her had slowed her healing progress. She shouldered the computer case and purse. The suitcase gripped with her bandaged hand, Joy grabbed for the other bag with the hand full of the flight papers. I can do this. The plane will land in Denver International and from there I’ll rent a car and drive to Casper. Cheaper and maybe, the scenery along the way will trigger my memory.

  She hadn’t known, didn’t remember, not every state had a major airport.

  Part of her wanted to stay right where she stood, while another wished to move on. Which side did she heed? Taking a deep breath, she left her safety zone and took the elevator to the entry floor to sign out.

  “Thank you, Miss Lyons-Morgan, come again.”

  “Yes, thank you.” A lump formed in her throat as she stepped away from the desk. She tried again to pull forth the images of when she arrived, but it was a black hollow shroud.

  Once outside, the doorman hailed a cab for her. She inhaled the salty air as the wind kicked up, summer in Miami. Why had she come here?

  Blank.

  Joy held her breath and refused to choke up. What was there to fear in leaving? Nothing, that’s what, she had to take that first step. Determined to learn what happened and the only way she knew to succeed was to get out and search.

  The cabbie took her bags and placed them in the trunk while she seated herself in the backseat. He maneuvered the vehicle through the mid-morning traffic with ease.

  Scenery flew by the window as she stared out. The nearer to the shoreline they got, Joy noted the closed clubs, still too early for them to open. Something about them tickled her mind.

  Fighting the retrieval brought on the migraines she’d dealt with, so she relaxed.

  In her mind’s eye an image came into focus, a building, four floors high, near a beach. She couldn’t tell where, but it gave her hope she’d remember more soon.

  Parts of her memory returned, not a lot, just enough. The corner of her lips tilted up and she sighed.

  When the cab stopped in the departure parking, she slid out, paid the man, and grabbed her cases. Joy lifted her chin and stepped through the automated doors.

  She stamped down her recent emotional best friends, doubt and fear, and let her mind wander at will. One of these times, she would recognize what she had forgotten.

  The articles she found concerning memory loss said force would cause more damage, she didn’t want that. Therefore, she let it go.

  Joy crossed her fingers in hopes the occurrence was the way the experts proclaimed.

  Her memories would continue to come to the surface and fall into place.

  She could do this.

  * * * *

  Jairo looked around the room. It wasn’t the hospital or any other place he knew. But it was…familiar at the same time.

  He turned to the furniture and his heart stopped and then raced.

  The small petite blonde
he’d seen often sat crossed legged on the sofa. She appeared completely relaxed, dressed in cut jeans and a tank top.

  Did she only ever wear those items?

  No, she wore other pieces of clothing for him. Images of the dance she preformed for him filtered through his mind and his body hardened. Jairo swallowed and walked toward where she sat.

  “Who are you?”

  Her eyes opened, their paleness struck him in the gut. Her sun-streaked tresses and golden tanned skin gave her a beautiful exotic look.

  “I am Joy.” Her mouth tilted up and her expression brightened. “You must be Jay. Your sister told me about you. She always referred to you as ‘Jay.’ But, I know that’s not your birth name. You are Jairo.”

  His body froze at her words, shocked. No one ever called him by his birth name. Hell, he did not know a person who actually knew his name. Everyone used “Jay.” He didn’t know what to say. She used his rightful name and the anger that always accompanied the occurrence was absent. Instead, a sensation of belonging, acceptance…and love washed over him. Not the kind he received from his family, but the deep unabated kind, all consuming, yet at the same time freeing.

  “My sister told you about me?” Jairo stepped closer and sat across from her in the chair.

  “Yeah, she seems to think we’re alike. Personally, I think she’s a little odd, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to see for myself.” Her tone friendly, without the leery bite most use in reference to his sister’s strange tendencies.

  “You knew my name.”

  The look that crossed Joy’s features startled him. She gnawed on her bottom lip as her gaze darted around the room.

  A small jolt of anger eased its way along his veins. Why was he upset?

  “I know many—things,” her words hesitant, unsure.

  Her answer didn’t appease the rush of temper. The moment her eyes connected with his again, all anger evaporated as if it hadn’t ever happened.

  What about her had him reacting in ways he never had before?

  Jairo controlled his anger, which if he were honest was nonexistent. Yet, Joy’s refusal to look him in the eye pissed him off.