by Amy DeMeritt
“Tea?”
“Ok.” While I get the tea kettle heating on the stove, I call in our lunch order.
When I come back, I hand Alex a mug of steaming tea and she smiles. “Thank you. I had fun today. I’m sorry we didn’t find more for your balcony garden you want to create.”
“Today was really great. I saw plenty that I loved, but if I bought everything I liked, I would have a jungle out there instead of a quaint garden. I’m happy with what I got today. Besides, it’s better to build the garden little by little with things that jump out or make me feel happy.” Alex is smiling and I notice her blush just a tinge. “The forget-me-nots make you happy?”
“Yeah, they do.”
“Why?” I smile and feel myself blush a little bit. “Because, when I look at them or smell them, I feel your hand in mine and remember today.” Alex bites her bottom lip briefly before saying, “In my psychology class in college I learned about a phenomenon that is reported to happen sometimes with people with a strong connection, like a mother and child, twins, or lovers. They say that these people have been able to sense or know when the other is upset, in danger, or hurting. I always wished I could have someone like that in my life, someone that I bond so closely with that we become completely in tuned and no amount of distance can weaken the bond. And we can know how the other is without seeing each other. Do you think that’s possible?” I smile and nod. “I never considered it, but yes, I think it’s possible and I think that’s happening.” Alex smiles and her eyes take on a slightly red tinge and glossy look with emotion surfacing.
“This week has been awe-inspiring. People tend to find me a little quirky or a little boring because of my interests. When we talk, you make me feel like I’m intriguing and adventurous. The things about me that others think are boing, you find fascinating and want to embrace them. It feels good.”
“Alex, boring is an impossible descriptor for you. When we talk, I’m completely enthralled. If it wasn’t for you, the little fish in my ‘self-image pond’ wouldn’t be surfacing to help me see things more clearly.” Before she can respond, there’s a knock at the door.
I hop up and pay the delivery guy for our lunch. Alex joins me at the small four-person rectangular table I have in my dine-in kitchen. I grab some plates and forks, but then remember Alex knows how to use chopsticks and put the forks back and grab my two favorite pairs of chopsticks.
“Alex, do you want some water or something else to drink while you eat?”
“Water’s fine, thanks.” By the time I get back to the table from getting us both a glass of ice water, Alex already has a plate made up for both of us. I sit down across from Alex and she smiles. “Thank you for lunch; it looks delicious. I feel like I’ve just sat down at a restaurant in Beijing.”
“That would be awesome. I hope you like it. I know duck isn’t for everyone, but I actually really like duck.” I watch Alex take a bite and she smiles while she chews. After she swallows, she says, “Ok, I now love duck. This is so good.”
“Awesome. So, the other day we talked about traveling and that we both would love to go see everything we possibly can. I was wondering, if you could go anywhere in the world right this minute, where would you go?” Alex smiles and sits back taking a sip of water while she thinks. “That’s tough. I have to pick just one place?” I nod. “Yeah, you can’t make up some travel package like a cruise that hops every possible island or some five country European package.” Alex laughs and rubs her temple in thought. “Am I alone or do I get to take someone with me?” I laugh at her reluctance and difficulty in answering the question. “Ok, pick a place for both scenarios.”
“Well, if I could take a person with me, I would go to Hong Kong. There’s a Zen garden bathhouse right in the middle of the busy city that looks ancient and beautiful. The pictures I’ve seen of the place looks like you literally step back in time when you step on the property. It would be amazing to experience both the beautiful natural exotics of China and the exciting city life all in the same trip. If I was given the option to go somewhere right this minute and I had to go alone, I would choose to stay right here at this table with you.” I feel my cheeks ache with the giant grin on my face. “Who would you take to Hong Kong?”
“You. I think you’re the only person I know that would fully appreciate the beauty of both the Zen garden and the crazy busy city. Plus, I think I would have a lot of fun with you there. Now, same question to you and don’t feel obligated to take me with you just because I said I would take you.” I laugh and shrug my shoulders. “Every destination I could think of just fades away and all I can see is a beautiful Chinese garden and bathhouse. And after today, there’s no doubt you’d be the perfect companion on that trip.”
“What about alone?” I shake my head. “I don’t think I would enjoy traveling alone. Besides, you’re so good at creating amazing imagery in my mind that I’m sure you could easily put me anywhere in the world with your Dream Shaman magic.” Alex laughs hard. “I never did guide you on another ‘spirit journey’. I guess I owe you a little trip.”
“I almost forgot about that. Do you have to leave after lunch?” She shakes her head. “Nope. But even if I had something to do, it’s still pouring like the Niagara out there, so I’m not going anywhere yet unless you kick me out. Where would you like to travel to today?”
“You pick. I lose it when I try to come up with the details myself, remember?”
“Ok, I’ll try to think of something good.” Her eyes seem to sparkle as she smiles and takes another bite of her food. I love those eyes.
After we finish eating and cleaning up, we go back to sit on my couch. Well, Alex sits and then has me lay on my back with my head on her lap. “Do you want music while I send you on a grand voyage?” I smile and laugh a little bit. “That’s up to you, Doc Shaman. Whatever you think is best.” Alex smiles and reaches for her phone sitting on my coffee table. A few moments later, some soft music, similar to what she played while we did yoga, starts to lull my mind into a peaceful fog. Without her prompting, I close my eyes.
“Jordan, do you remember what that old steam locomotive looked like that you rode on when you were a kid?” I smile and nod. “Ok, try to picture that right now. Picture you’re standing on the platform with the train filling up with passengers. You have a small bag with you just for essentials and a couple outfits. Before you board the train, you turn to your loved ones and friends and give them all a hug and kiss. The conductor calls out final boarding calls and you have to board. Your smile lights up your face as the rush of excitement wells up and bursts from you like a spotlight. You step up on to the passenger car landing and wave to everyone you know as the train starts to pull away.”
“Wait, you’re sending me alone? Will you come with me?” I open my eyes and Alex is looking down at me with such a loving smile that it makes me feel so at peace inside. “Ok, I’ll come with you.”
Chapter Five
Most days, I actually really like my job, but some days, like today, I just really don’t want to be at work. I don’t know what my problem is, but I can’t focus at all. I’m just staring at my screen drifting off into dreamland instead of working on the report I should be doing. Ever since Alex envisioned us both on a journey through space and time on a magic train that can travel over land and sea, I have only been able to think about that journey. She painted so many amazing places in my mind. I just really want to be on that train with her and go all over the world.
A new message box pops up on my screen, pulling me out of my dreams and making me laugh really loud.
Alex 9:04 am: So, how is it that the day just started an hour ago and I already feel like these life suckers have sucked me dry five times?
Alex 9:04 am: Oh, god, I did NOT mean that the way it came out!
Jordan 9:05 am: Oh, my!
Jordan 9:05 am: Just kidding. I just feel like my brain is in a fog today. I can’t focus at all. This is going to be a very long Tuesday if I can’t get it tog
ether soon. What antics are the undead up to today?
Alex 9:06 am: They just complain about everything! It’s unbelievable how negative they are all the time. It’s exhausting just listening to them or reading their emails. I don’t know how they have the energy to be like that.
Jordan 9:08 am: Well, I can use the distraction and you could use some positive thinking, so why don’t you tell me about something that makes you happy?
Alex 9:11 am: Have you even been awake at 3am?
Jordan 9:11 am: Probably a few times, why?
Alex 9:12 am: It’s just so quiet at that hour. It’s right between the night owls going home and falling asleep and the early birds waking up. It’s just the perfect hour to just sit in silence and hear your own thoughts. There’s almost no sound at all to distract you. It’s beautiful. Days like today really make me want a 3am hour of peaceful solitude – even after working a full day.
Jordan 9:13 am: I don’t think I’ve ever noticed the “beauty” of silence. Next time I’m up at that hour I’ll have to pay better attention. Ok, what else makes you happy?
Alex 9:20 am: Simple things, really. The best things are those you can’t buy with money. A contagious smile from a friend or stranger, the unexpected scent of something lovely when you are feeling down, being lucky enough to catch a sunrise or sunset on the horizon when you’re stuck in traffic, seeing a newborn baby giggle and smile, the feeling of the warm sun on your skin after a long bitter cold winter, there are so many amazing moments in the simple moments. Those kinds of moments really make me happy. Wow, thanks, Jordan. I feel a lot better now and I’m actually smiling. I guess I can list this in my extraordinary simple moments. :)
Jordan 9:21 am: Alex, you are amazing. I’ve never met someone like you, someone that knows how to really fully appreciate life.
Alex 9:22 am: Yes you have – yourself. You just don’t realize it. Close your eyes for a moment and try to think of some simple things that make you smile and feel warm inside.
Jordan 9:30 am: In the alley behind my boxing gym there’s a creeping vine weed with little purple trumpet shaped flowers that grows up between a crack in the asphalt and the brick of the building and climbs up a water pipe along the wall. On one side of it is a dumpster that’s always full of stinky garbage and on the other is a stack of ugly empty vegetable shipping crates from the neighboring corner market. Every time I have to go out to the alley I cringe, but when I see that cluster of bright green vines and purple trumpet flowers, it makes me smile.
Alex 9:31 am: See, you are good at seeing the extraordinary in plain, simple moments. Are you able to take a break? Maybe we can go for a walk in the quad?
Jordan 9:33 am: Sure, I can go now if you’re ready.
Alex 9:34 am: Ok, yeah let’s go. I need some fresh air.
Jordan 9:34 am: On my way.
When I get to Alex’s office, she’s leaning against the guest side of her desk waiting for me. She smiles warmly and pushes off her desk to follow me. We walk in silence till we get outside, but once we’re outside, Alex asks, “So, what would your perfect weekend be like?”
“Well, this past Saturday with you, I would rate a definite perfect day, but that’s just one day. I guess if the whole weekend could be like that then it would be a perfect weekend.”
“What about it was perfect?”
“Everything. But I guess in simple terms, it would be spending time with someone I care about, makes me happy and feel safe, and I can have fascinating conversations with.”
“You feel safe with me?” Alex is smiling in an excited kind of way and it makes me laugh a little bit. “Very. Now, what would your perfect weekend be like?”
“I really liked your answer. Can I just piggyback on yours?” I laugh and shake my head. “Nope, you have to tell me what’s in your heart.” Alex stops walking and turns to face me. “I do that every time we talk, but ok, let me think.”
She bites her bottom lip a moment and looks at the sky as if she’s trying to read the answer in the shapes of the clouds.
“I think the perfect weekend would definitely need to include all the simple requirements you laid out already, but I would also add that the person I’m spending the weekend with would be my true love, the person that complements my heart in every way and makes it so easy to see the beauty and joy of every simple moment.”
“Ok, I’m going to piggyback on your answer now. I know I’m in IT and I’m supposed to support the advancement of technology, but sometimes I get really tired of it all – computers, cell phones, etcetera. It seems like people can only appreciate the simple beauties of this world if it’s a picture with an ‘inspirational’ saying that someone posts on social media or blast texts to their whole contact list. What percentage of the people that come out here to walk or take a phone call do you think actually sees this garden and actually appreciates the wonder of it all? I mean it’s amazing that all of this was created from tiny seeds that combined probably is less than a teaspoon of seeds. When I try to think about how a plant grows out of a tiny speck of a seed, it baffles me.”
“Do you know the smallest seed in the world belongs to an orchid plant? It’s so small that it’s almost invisible to the eye; it’s like dust. The seeds are blown out of the plant by the wind and float on the wind like minute treasure ships and dock in the canopy of the rainforest where they empty their cargo hold and beautiful exotic flowers spring forth like natures sweet scented treasures.”
“See, that’s why you’re so fascinating.” Alex smiles and blushes a little bit. She takes my hand and pulls me along after her and we continue walking around the garden.
“It’s refreshing talking to you. Normally, I feel like I have to hide these little quirks and interests because other people don’t seem to think and feel like I do. People tend to just laugh when I get excited or happy about something so small. You don’t laugh.”
“Alex, if I laugh in your presence, it will be with you and not at you. The way you think is how we all should think.”
As we walk for a couple moments in silence, just enjoying the nice day and each other’s company, my phone vibrates with a new text message. I pull it out of my pocket and unlock the screen. It’s Callie.
“Alex, are you free tonight? Callie wants me to come train with her tonight. Are you interested in going?” She smiles and nods. “Ok.”
When I get back to my desk, I feel much more focused and I’m able to concentrate and work. I don’t understand what this magical power is that Alex has. She seems to have this unnatural ability to set my mind at peace with such ease that it’s almost as if her sole purpose is to care for me and make me comfortable. She seems to open my eyes to life in a way I had been blind to before. She helps me to focus, but not so narrowly that I miss the small things that may go unnoticed if I’m moving too quickly.
While I’m working, my cell phone vibrates on my desk with a new message. I’m surprised to see it’s my mom because she really hates texting.
Mom: I’m sitting here looking through photo albums. Do you remember that picture of yourself giggling and swinging from a tree branch when you were a toddler, only three years old? I had turned my back on you for just a moment and when I turned around, you had climbed up a tree and were swinging from a branch trying to pull yourself up higher.
Me: Yeah, I remember. What’s going on, Mom? Why are you looking at photo albums? You only do that when you’re sad or worried about someone.
Mom: You have always been such a strong little girl, Jordan, even before you started boxing. I wish I hadn’t put you in boxing when you were younger. Right now, you probably think boxing is what makes you strong, like you wouldn’t be without it, but you don’t need boxing, Jordan.
Me: You don’t need to worry, Mom. I decided I’m not going to box anymore.
Mom: I hope so; I don’t think I can handle watching my baby girl fight in even one more match.
Me: What brought this on? Why do you have such a grave attitude?
&n
bsp; Mom: You know your father and I had the best intentions when we put you in boxing, right? I wish I had looked at these pictures back then and saw the strong girl that you already were and just had faith in your own strength instead of putting you in boxing and hiding your inner strength.
Me: Mom, don’t do that to yourself. I’m fine, so there’s nothing to be upset about or worry about.
Mom: I have to go sweetie, but know that I love you very much.
Me: Ok, I love you too.
That was really weird. I haven’t even competed in a match in months and the last tournament I was in, I did really well. I start to wonder if maybe Callie told my mom about this missing day and drama with Tina, but then shake my head to clear the thought. Callie would never do that.
When I get home, my mom’s words are still hanging in my thoughts like a sad violin played at funerals. Why was she so concerned and why is it giving me such a feeling of unease and making my mind so disquieted? My mom has voiced her concern and wish for me to stop boxing on many occasions, but she usually only says something when I’m training for a new match.
Just as I’m closing my car door to head upstairs to my apartment to change, I hear a familiar voice that sends ice down my spine and the hairs on every inch of me to stick straight up.
“I’m surprised you haven’t come looking for me yet.” I spin around quickly and standing only a couple feet away from me is Tina. I stumble back a couple feet completely terrified. Why am I scared? She laughs at my reaction. “Fear. I guess that explains why Callie is the one looking for me and not you. Don’t you want to know what I did to you?”
“Tina.” The name is bitter on my tongue and I almost spit because the taste is so bad. “Where have you been?” She shrugs her shoulders. “Around. But you’re running out of time if you want answers. I’m leaving town soon.”
“Why? What did you do to me?” She shakes her head. “It’s not going to be that easy, Jordan. If you want to know, then face me in the ring.” I step back and shake my head. “No, I’m done with that. I’m not boxing like that anymore.”