Nobody Else's

by Nell Iris

  Sierra-Hotel-India-Tango. Too much. Reign it in, Levi.

  Luckily, the waitress came to my rescue. I accepted another refill and quirked my eyebrow at Beckett.

  “I’d like, um, another hot chocolate, please.”

  I gave him a wide, happy smile and we drank our beverages in silence and people-watched for a few minutes. Every now and then, he snuck a glance at me and lingered for a second or two before he looked away again. I pretended not to notice, but I was very aware. Every peek left a tingle in its wake, and I wanted him to look at me more.

  After a while, we resumed our conversation. We talked about our favorite movies, music, and books. Nothing important and everything that mattered all at once. I couldn’t remember when I’d last enjoyed myself this much. Not even when I’d gone to see the latest Star Wars movie.

  I loved that he wasn’t loud and demanding attention. He listened and seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say, even when I lost myself in a lengthy rant about a tiny detail in Rogue One that had bugged me. No one in my family would have let me ramble on about it. Not that I would have tried to talk to them about it in the first place.

  He was so different from everyone in my life. He was kind and smart and his entire focus was on me. Even when he pretended to look away. It was a heady feeling and it made my entire body buzz.

  “Hey!” Beckett exclaimed after we’d chatted for a while. “You’re talking! A lot.”

  “You noticed now?”

  “You’re usually so quiet.”

  I sighed and nodded. I’d given up trying to be heard in my family a long time ago. I loved them to pieces, but there were just so many of them. I hadn’t experienced a moment’s silence in the house until I got my own room over the garage. For the first time in my life, I had something that was my own, that didn’t have to be shared. That was all I’d ever wanted.

  “I know,” I said. “It’s just…” I’d never talked to anyone about it and didn’t know how to express my feelings without making it sound like I felt sorry for myself. I didn’t want him to think I was selfish.

  “I think I understand.” Beckett rested his elbow on the table and leaned his bearded cheek on his knuckles. “Fighting for attention all the time must be exhausting,” he said with a thoughtful glint in his eyes. “Trying to make yourself heard in a sea of voices…” He shrugged. “I don’t have brothers or sisters, so I can only imagine how difficult it must be.”

  Warmth bloomed in my chest and raced through my body at his understanding. “Yes, that’s exactly it,” I mumbled.

  The waitress interrupted our moment by dropping off the check. Her lips were pinched together, and she shot us an icy glare. We’d clearly overstayed our welcome and she wanted us out of there quicker than the Millennium Falcon could jump to light speed. I pulled out my wallet from my back pocket, but Beckett waved it away.

  “Let me,” he said.

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I know. But…I’ve enjoyed myself a lot, so please?” He looked me right in the eyes then, for the first time. At first glance, his eyes were brown, but the more I looked, the more I noticed details, taking them from plain to intriguing. Like the darker ring on the outside of his iris and the flecks of gold sprinkled in the brown.

  Who could say no to eyes like that? Not me.

  Beckett left a huge tip for the waitress, whose frown turned into a smile and instead of glaring at us for holding up her table, she fluttered her eyelashes at him. Even though I’d never found women attractive, I could understand the appeal of her blond hair and pert breasts. Annoyance burned in my stomach as I watched her flirt with him and I wanted to scream at her to stop.

  I wedged myself between them and nudged his shoulder. “Let’s go,” I said. “You’re taking me home, remember?” I shot her a back off glare.

  But Beckett only gave her a polite, uninterested smile in return, and the fire in my belly died quickly, leaving me with a dry mouth and a feeling of disgust over my behavior. I had no right to be jealous. But for a few hours this afternoon, he’d been mine. Not Matt’s friend, but mine. And I didn’t want it to end.

  I just didn’t know how to keep him. Or if he wanted to be kept.

  Chapter 3: Beckett

  Pisces (February 19—March 20)

  As Venus aligns with the visionary Neptune, you may feel like it’s time to shake up your life a little. Find new ways to pick up a hot piece of ass. The personal ads on Craig’s List? Family friends? Maybe your dad or brother has a friend who can bend you over the couch and make you scream?

  * * * *

  We walked to the car in silence and as I drove toward the Byrne family home, the talkative, smiling Levi was replaced with his old, withdrawn self, and he kept his head turned to look out the side window.

  I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, dying to ask him what was wrong, but unwilling to push him if he didn’t want to talk about it.

  “How’s the business?” I asked instead, hoping to coax him out of his funk.

  He leaned his head against the neck rest but turned to look at me. Hopefully, that meant his mood wasn’t caused by something I’d done.

  “Great,” he said. “Too good maybe.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I have to turn away clients. I have too much work.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad.”

  He nodded and sat straight. “All the other stuff that comes with running my own business takes up a lot of my time.”

  “Like what?”

  “You know. The boring stuff. Invoices. Numbers.” He wrinkled his nose as if he’d smelled something foul. “I’d rather perish in the Sarlacc pit than do the numbers.”

  “The what?”

  He widened his eyes in mock horror and his hand flew to his heart. “Oh, Beckett, aren’t you up to speed on Star Wars lore?”

  “Hah!” I glanced over at him for a second before turning my attention back to the road. I was happy to see his smile was back, and his eyes shone with mischief. “I’m afraid I don’t know anything about Star Wars. Except for ‘Use the force, Luke,’ of course.”

  “Beckett, Beckett, Beckett, you don’t know what you’re missing.” He huffed out an exaggerated sigh.

  “I’m assuming the Sar-whatever is unpleasant and that you’re trying to say you don’t like accounting.”

  “Correct.”

  “Why don’t you ask Matt to help you?”

  Levi groaned. “Have you heard Matt talk about his job? All he does is whine and complain. The only reason he’s an accountant is that it’s a respectable job approved by the parents.”

  “He complained in college, too.” I chuckled. “Once I had to stop him from actually throwing a book out the window in frustration when he was studying for an exam.”

  “You’re kidding!”

  Shaking my head, I said, “Cross my heart and hope to die,” and followed my words with the gesture that went with it.

  “See. That’s why I can’t ask him for help. I don’t want him to be miserable in his free time as well as at work.”

  I squeezed the steering wheel. He was so considerate and always put everyone in his family before himself. Even Matt had admitted to it, saying Levi was too nice. I wanted to offer him my services—doing the accounts for a small business like Levi’s wouldn’t take much time—but didn’t want him to feel like I was forcing myself into his life if he didn’t want me there. Sure, we’d had a fabulous few hours together, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see me again without Matt. But before I had time to decide what to do, he changed the subject, and we spent the rest of the trip chitchatting about nothing important.

  After about thirty minutes in the car, I pulled into his family’s driveway and stopped behind his father’s large white van.

  “I, um, had a lot of fun. Thank you,” I mumbled.

  “I did, too. Want to come in?”

  I did a double take and stared at him. “I thought no one was allowed in your space? Matt alw
ays says he’s certain you’re cooking meth up there since you won’t let anyone in.”

  “Meth?” He huffed out a laugh. “He’s crazy.”

  “Well…yeah?” I loved how the sound of his laughter filled the cab of my car with happiness and my stomach with warmth.

  “I promise I don’t cook meth. And none of the kids are allowed. You, however, are invited.”

  “I’m honored. I’d love to come. If only to rub it in Matt’s face.”

  We both chuckled as I turned off the engine. I followed him around the back of the garage to the outside staircase leading up to his place.

  “Hurry. We don’t want the Hell Sisters to see us.”

  “Hey,” I hissed after him. “I thought we weren’t allowed to call them that.”

  “Oops, sorry,” he said, but didn’t look sorry at all.

  We rushed up the stairs and hurried inside, and he slammed the door and locked it behind us. Then he pretended to wipe sweat off his forehead. “Phew, we made it.” He kicked off his shoes and hung his keys on a hook next to the door. “Come on in. Make yourself comfortable. Please take off your shoes.”

  I toed off my sneakers as I took in his home. It was one big room, running the entire length of the single garage. It was sparsely decorated, but personal. A huge desk with three monitors took up a substantial chunk of wall space to the right. On the left side, he’d pinned all Star Wars movie posters in a neat line, and—if I wasn’t mistaken—in chronological order. Beneath them, stood a low, rickety bookcase stuffed to the brim with books about computers and programming, and next to it a rolled-out yoga mat.

  The opposite wall from the entrance was screened off with rainbow-colored drapes, and since I couldn’t see a bed anywhere, I assumed it was hidden behind the fabric. In the corner next to the door was the tiniest excuse for a kitchenette I’d ever seen. I doubted he could boil water and make toast at the same time.

  “I know it’s not much, but it’s mine,” he said, voice bursting with pride and a touch of defensiveness.

  “I like it. It’s very you. I’m a bit surprised by the yoga mat, though.”

  “It’s good exercise.”

  “I’m sure. What do your parents think about it?” The Byrnes were a very religious family and obeyed the word of the Lord to the letter…as long as no one tried to condemn any of Mary Byrne’s kids. Then all bets were off. Matt had told me about what had happened when Levi had come out at fifteen. Their pastor had suggested trying to pray the gay away. Mrs. Byrne had gotten redder and redder in the face as she’d listened to him, and then she’d spent twenty minutes yelling at him before storming out of the church, never to return. After that, they found a new, LGBT-friendly congregation where no one tried to convert Levi into something he wasn’t.

  I’d always been in awe of that. My own parents still tried to convince me every time we spoke—which grew more infrequent with every passing year, I hadn’t talked to them since Christmas—that bisexuality wasn’t a real thing, and they were supposed to be liberals.

  “They wouldn’t care.”

  “They wouldn’t?” Defending your child from someone who wanted to hurt him was one thing but practicing something so closely linked to non-Christian religions was different.

  “You’re right. Maybe they wouldn’t approve. But they won’t say anything.”

  “How come?”

  Levi threw himself down in one of the two high-backed desk chairs and gestured for me to join him. He leaned his head back and flung his arm over his face.

  “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wanna,” I hurried to assure him.

  “No, it’s…” He removed his arm and studied me where I was perched on the edge of the chair. “I trust you, Beckett.”

  His words made my heart grew two sizes bigger in my chest and the corners of my mouth drew up in a happy smile.

  “I…help out,” he said.

  I had to force myself to focus on his words and not the fluttering muscle inside my ribcage. “I know.”

  “No, I mean…financially.”

  “Oh.” I pulled off the beanie and rubbed my hand over my hair. Wow. I sank back into the surprisingly comfortable chair.

  He closed his eyes. “I have ever since my business turned a profit, which was more or less from day one. I’d already done work for a lot of people while I was in high school. They spread the word and came back for more. Before I knew it, I had more clients than I could handle. Me! Who was nothing but a kid fresh out of school. Overnight, I had a successful business. And I hadn’t spent a dime on marketing.”

  That was…I hadn’t expected that. I put the beanie back on as I tried to collect my thoughts. There was no way Matt knew about this. He told me everything—even details about his sex life I’d rather not know about—and he would definitely have blurted it out to me if he found out.

  “That’s very generous of you,” I said in a soft voice.

  “Eh.” He shrugged and threw his arm over his face again. “I heard them talking. Mom was pregnant with the twins. She cried. They said they didn’t know how they would make it. Matt was at college and Esther got married when she turned eighteen and they were so relieved we were only seven left in the house. Now they were adding two more. Back to square one. It was a month before graduation and I made up my mind that day.”

  “You…you are amazing.”

  He lifted his arm a little and peered under it at me. “You think so?”

  “I do!”

  He lowered his arm again, but it didn’t hide the smile spreading on his face. “It’s not like I need the money. I save a chunk each month. I give them the rest. I live here for free. What more do I need? Besides, they give me a lot of leeway. I mean, look at all this space.” He straightened and gestured at the room with a sweep of his arm. “It could easily be converted to two rooms. Or even three. That way Luke and Samuel wouldn’t have to share.”

  He had a point. I doubted that two guys in their upper teens enjoyed sharing a bedroom. “So why do you have it to yourself?”

  “I can’t work in the house. Too loud. And I guess they want to reward me?”

  “Makes sense.” I leaned forward and after only a moment’s hesitation, I lay my hand on his knee. His body heat penetrated me through his clothes, and I wanted to keep my hand there forever, but I gave it a quick squeeze before I withdrew. “I’m honored you told me. I won’t betray your confidence.”

  His hand fell to his knee and the spot where I’d touched him. “I know you won’t.” He opened his mouth as if to say something else but was interrupted by his phone. After a quick conversation, he hung up and apologized to me, saying he was needed in the big house.

  Levi walked me to the car and we said our goodbyes, repeating again how much fun we’d both had. As I backed out of the driveway, Leah and Hannah—aka the Hell Sisters—stormed out of the house and threw themselves at Levi, almost making him topple over. He hoisted them both up, one on each hip, and they all waved goodbye as I drove away. I didn’t take my eyes off them in the mirror, kept watching as they grew smaller until they disappeared completely.

  I sighed. I couldn’t honestly remember if I’d ever had such a great afternoon. My heart clenched in my chest at the thought that I’d just left him without making plans to see him again or even exchanging phone numbers.

  I guess I’d just have to wait until the next time Matt rescued him from his siblings.

  Chapter 4: Levi

  Virgo (August 23—September 22)

  Today is a day for recognizing patterns in your career as well as your personal life. Does working late make your partner grumpy and uncooperative? Has he refused to go down on you in months and months? In that case: the celestial bodies are in just the right positions to help you connect the dots. And for the gods’ sakes: leave the office early!

  * * * *

  I dragged my tired body up the stairs when I was finally able to escape to my room at seven thirty. It had been two long days. All I wanted was to curl
up on my bed, hide under the covers, and sleep until next week.

  Mom had caught a cold, and with Dad on a long haul and Esther pregnant with severe morning sickness, it had fallen on me to take care of everyone. On Sunday, I’d taken them all to church to get them out of Mom’s hair and then spent the rest of the day cooking and scrubbing the house from top to bottom while desperately hoping Mom would recover soon. No such luck. This morning she’d still had a fever. She’d insisted on getting up anyway, but when she’d almost fainted while making breakfast, I’d picked her up, carried her to bed, and ignored her faint objections that I needed to work.

  She had been right, though. I had deadlines, but I couldn’t let the kids starve and the twins were a handful on a good day. But with an entire workday wasted, I had to catch up now. No sleeping for me.

  With a drawn-out groan, I turned on my computer and checked my to-do list. Only one thing was urgent—a webshop I’d promised the client by Friday—the rest could wait a day or two.

  But as I stared at the monitor, I couldn’t concentrate. Instead, my thoughts wandered back to Saturday. To Beckett’s quick smile and warm eyes that had sparkled every time he’d looked at me. How cute he’d been in that dorky beanie.

  I loved how easy he was to talk to. How he genuinely cared. I was dying to get to know him better, on a deeper level. I wanted him to be my friend, too.

  Scratch that. I wanted to be more than his friend.

  I’d thought about asking him for his phone number, but then Mom had called and interrupted. And maybe he would have thought it would have been weird. He was Matt’s friend, and even though he’d said he’d had fun, it didn’t mean he wanted to do it again.

  I should just put him out of my mind.

  Easier said than done.

  Too bad I didn’t have time for a yoga routine; no better way in the world to get my mind off things. I took a few deep breaths and did a couple stretching exercises at my desk before getting back to work.

  But my mind wasn’t in it. I stared at my screen and everything blurred together. Coffee. I needed coffee. I jumped up and strode across the room to the kitchenette, but the first thing I saw was the empty can of instant coffee.