by Ashley Jade
A few people gasp and I can feel Dylan and Sawyer staring at me in shock the entire time, but I don’t care.
Watching Crystal hang her head in shame as she quickly scurries to the exit fills me with such a rush of satisfaction, I can’t help but beam.
Jace and Cole start walking over, but Oakley shakes his head. “I got this.”
Before I can protest, he’s walking us into an empty hospital room.
“I hate her,” I yell, wishing he didn’t stop me from beating her ass. “She’s the reason you got drunk and high before the accident.”
She’s the reason for all of it.
“No, she’s not,” Oakley argues as he puts me down. “Yeah, Crystal was a bitch, but getting wasted was on me.”
I hate that he’s right.
I hate that I can’t blame everything on Crystal because it would be so much easier that way.
“You abandoned me,” I whisper. “I was fighting for you to stay…fighting for us…but you left.”
So many things pass through his expression in that moment. Sadness, guilt…regret.
“I know.”
He cups my face, studying me for several lengthy beats, before his lips are on mine.
Only his kiss isn’t desperate and greedy like it usually is.
It’s soft and gentle…almost like an apology.
Uneasiness twists my stomach.
Almost like he’s saying goodbye.
Chapter 62
Oakley
I want to keep kissing her until we both run out of air and the secret I’ve been keeping from her dissolves from my lips.
I never meant for things to get so serious between us again when I agreed to be her friend.
I thought I could be there so she had someone to confide in, and in turn, she’d realize Stone was no good for her and leave his ass.
I thought I could live in this make-believe world where I could still have her for a little while longer.
But I should have known better.
Bianca Covington swooped in like a violent tornado—uprooting and rearranging the ugly parts of myself so I could finally confront my issues without needing to go numb.
But in the end, I was the one who caused all the destruction.
Pulling back, I look at her face, memorizing every perfect detail of it.
Her plump lips, her high cheekbones…those baby brown eyes so full of depth it’s like looking into the ocean.
I fell in love with her when I least expected it.
And she’ll have every fucked-up piece of my heart and soul until the day I die.
She places her hands on top of mine. “Oakley.”
Bianca knows me well enough to know something’s wrong, but there’s no way to prepare her for this.
People make mistakes—but if they’re smart enough to learn their lesson, they evolve.
Sometimes, if they’re lucky—they earn forgiveness, too.
But there’s no forgiveness for this.
Because what I took from her.
From us.
Can’t ever be replaced.
Chapter 63
Oakley
Past…
I’m so groggy from all the medication they pumped me with, I can barely see straight.
“No more,” I tell the nurse, fighting my tiredness.
I want to be alert when Bianca gets out of surgery.
“You’re clustering,” she informs me, as if I didn’t already know.
I eye the two police officers who haven’t left my room.
“Where’s my dad?”
“He went to the cafeteria.”
The nurse squeezes my shoulder. “Try to get some rest. I’ll be in to check on you in a little bit.”
How the fuck am I supposed to sleep when the girl I love is fighting for her life?
My eyelids grow heavy as another wave of drowsiness surges through me.
I force myself to fight through it, but it’s a losing battle.
The shit the nurse gave me must be strong because I hear footsteps enter the room followed by voices murmuring.
“Who are you?” one of the officers questions.
“I’m the brother of the girl who was in the accident,” someone who sounds a lot like Jace grunts.
Shit.
“I’ll give you both five hundred bucks to take a walk for five minutes.”
My eyes open in time to see Jace place a wad of cash in their hands.
“You can’t kill him,” one of the officers warns before they leave the room.
“Jace—”
A punch to my face stops me mid-sentence.
“You motherfucker.”
Jace has every right to be furious with me.
But there’s only one thing I give a fuck about right now.
“How’s Bianca?”
He looks like he wants to clobber me again. “How she’s doing is none of your goddamn business.”
The fuck it isn’t.
“Goddammit, Jace. I need to kno—”
“She just got out of surgery.”
Relief surges through my chest, but it’s short-lived because Jace gets close to my face and grinds out, “They said her HCG levels are elevated.”
I have no idea what that means.
“What—”
“She’s pregnant,” he spits.
Red-hot panic slams into me and the room starts spinning.
How the fuck is that even possible? She’s on the pill.
My voice is low, rippling with anxiety. “She’s pregnant?”
Jace laughs, but there’s no humor. “Given you look like you’re about to shit yourself, it’s safe to say I know who the father is.”
Goddammit. This isn’t how I wanted him to find out about us.
“It’s not what you think. She wasn’t just some booty call. I care about her.”
More than care. I love her.
What Bianca and I have is far beyond a summer hookup.
She taught me things no one else could and made me a better person.
Before I went and fucked it all up.
And yeah, us having a baby right now isn’t ideal—especially since I’m headed to prison and all—but maybe I can use my dad’s connections and cut a deal.
Jace doesn’t look convinced. “Then why did you lie about it?”
Fucking hell. He’s got me there.
But explaining that it started off as a fling will only make things worse.
“Because I know you well enough to know you’d never be okay with me dating her.” I meet his stare. “I was going to tell you, though.”
Jace’s eyes narrow as he fists the neck of my hospital gown.
“I swear to God, motherfucker. If she dies, I’ll fucking kill you.”
My chest recoils. If she dies…I won’t want to live.
It looks like it’s taking every ounce of his willpower not to punch me again.
However, he doesn’t have to punch me…because his parting words are like a dull blade twisting my heart until it snaps.
“She was pregnant,” he whispers, gripping the door frame. “She lost the baby…because of you.”
Chapter 64
Bianca
No. It’s not true.
He’s lying. He has to be lying.
My heart folds in on itself when I peer up at him, because the devastation etched in Oakley’s features tells me this isn’t some cruel joke and he’s telling me the truth.
I clutch my stomach. I was pregnant.
How can that be, though? Amnesia or not, surely I would have remembered something that significant.
I rub my temples, not understanding how this happened.
I was on the pill. I know this because the moment Oakley and I started our fling, I made a doctor’s appointment to get it.
And even though he refused to have sex with me for most of our relationship, I took it every day faithfully.
I close my eyes when I realize.
Until the day o
f the fire…
We left so quickly, I didn’t have time to grab my birth control.
I didn’t think it was a big deal because I took my next dose on schedule… but obviously it was.
God, how the hell did I not know I was pregnant?
There must have been signs…symptoms.
Something to let me know there was a life growing inside me.
Tears clog my vision and I expel a ragged breath. “I don’t remember being pregnant.”
How can I not remember my—our—baby?
I’m looking at him for answers, but his expression makes it clear he doesn’t have them.
I start to walk away, but his hand clutches my face, keeping me there. “It was so early, Bianca.” He swallows. “I’m pretty positive you didn’t know.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Because right now? I can’t be sure of anything.
“You were only three or four weeks along.”
He says it like it doesn’t count. As though it was just a whisper of something substantial.
I slap his cheek so hard it stings. “Don’t you dare say that like it didn’t mean anything.”
It was a baby. Our baby.
“That’s not what I meant.” Closing his eyes, he rasps, “I just meant that you didn’t know because it was so early and…” His voice trails off like he doesn’t have the heart to say the words.
“I would have kept it.”
I see him flinch briefly before he recovers. “I know.”
Anger twists my insides. “But I didn’t get the choice…because you took it from me.”
He took everything from me.
And the sick thing is…I could forgive him for getting mad and wanting to leave me that night, because I know how angry he was.
I could even forgive him for getting drunk and high behind the wheel and turning my life upside down…because people make mistakes.
But I can’t forgive him for this.
I loved him so much…he was the only thing I cared about.
So much so I ended up doing the same thing my mother tried to do to me and Liam.
I killed my child.
Because if I had just let him leave…my baby would still be here.
“I’m sorry.”
I slap him again, harder this time. “Don’t.”
Sorry won’t take it back.
Sorry won’t undo what’s been done.
Sorry doesn’t give me our baby back.
“I hate you.”
But really, I hate myself—because even though I should hate him—my heart won’t let me.
It’s incapable of it.
Oakley tries to put his arms around me, but that only makes me more irate.
I don’t want him to hold me. I don’t want him anywhere near me.
“Don’t fucking touch me.” I shove his chest. “Don’t ever fucking touch me again.”
Finally, he backs up.
Chest caving in, I stagger to the other side of the room.
I’m almost to the door when it occurs to me.
Jace told him I was pregnant.
Which means Oakley wasn’t the only one keeping secrets from me.
Chapter 65
Bianca
White-hot fury crashes through my veins as I storm up the pathway to my brother’s apartment.
I’m so enraged, I’m shaking as I knock on his front door.
Dylan answers it with a smile. “Hey, we got some pizza if you’re hun—”
I walk past her and into the living room where Jace, Sawyer, and Cole are all eating pizza and watching television.
“Hey,” Jace says when he sees me. “Grab a slice—”
I snatch the glass out of his hand and throw it.
Sawyer jumps when it shatters against the wall.
“What the fuck is your problem?” Jace roars, standing up.
“What the fuck is my problem?” I shove him as hard as I possibly can. “How about the fact that you didn’t tell me I was pregnant?”
Sawyer and Dylan gasp while Cole looks down at the floor and mutters a curse.
Sadness flashes in Jace’s eyes for a split second before his jaw hardens. “I was trying to protect you.”
God, I’m so sick and tired of everyone using that as an excuse.
I had a right to know about Oakley.
And the baby I lost.
“Screw you,” I yell. “You had no—”
“We didn’t want to tell you anything that would add to your pain,” Cole interjects.
I turn my fury on him. “You knew about this?”
Guilt flickers in his expression. “Jace told me at the hospital.”
“So let me get this straight, everyone knew about my baby except me?”
“I didn’t,” Sawyer whispers, her voice trembling.
Pity illuminates Dylan’s face. “I didn’t either.”
So just Cole then. No surprise there.
Disgust rolls through me as I turn to Cole. “I forgot you’re nothing but a little bitch who follows Jace’s every command like he’s your goddamn Messiah.” Scowling, I rock back on my heels. “If you wanted a better relationship with me so bad, you should have started one with honesty.”
I glare at Jace. “And you—I will never fucking forgive you for this.”
I expect Cole to lie—hell, he’s been doing it most of his life and we weren’t all that close before the accident.
But Jace? We’ve always been honest with one another. No matter how painful it was.
Bringing my fist back, I punch him with every ounce of fury I feel, because I want him to hurt as much as I do.
Bringing his shirt up, he wipes the blood trickling from his nose. “Dammit, Bianca. You were a mess after the accident. Finding out about Liam and Mom nearly broke you. You think I was gonna stand there and tell you that you were pregnant by the guy who caused the accident to begin with and then lost the baby because of it?”
“Yes.” I clutch my chest, feeling like a dam that’s about to give way at any moment. “That’s what you should have done.”
“I did the right thing.” The fact that he doesn’t look the least bit sorry about keeping this information from me only fills me with more bitterness. “I wanted you to have a fresh start.”
What he wanted doesn’t matter. It wasn’t his decision to make.
I might be his sister, but I’m not a little girl anymore.
I’m a grown woman.
A grown woman who deserved to know the truth.
And the fact that he thought it was okay to keep something so big from me is…unforgivable.
“You’re nothing to me anymore,” I teeter back, tears clouding my vision as I look at my brothers. “Fuck you both.”
Jace takes a step forward, attempting to grab me when I try to leave, but Dylan wedges herself between us. “Leave her alone, Jace.”
I startle when she wraps her arms around me.
A moment later Sawyer joins us.
“I’m so sorry,” Sawyer chokes out.
I stand there motionless as they both attempt to console me like I’m liable to break at any second.
And while I am fragile right now…I’m not fragile like glass.
I'm fragile like a bomb.
I almost feel myself cave when another wave of anguish flows through me, but because wrath is so much easier to give in to than the guttural sadness slicing through my soul, I push them both away.
“Leave me alone.”
I scan the room, making sure I look at everyone because I want them all to know I mean the next words out of my mouth with every fiber of my being.
“Fuck this family. I’m done.”
Chapter 66
Oakley
There are a million things I wish I’d done differently that night.
I wish I never drank or did drugs.
I wish I never blamed Bianca for telling my dad the truth about Crystal.
I wish I never got behind the wheel
and killed Hayley.
But most of all?
I wish I didn’t hurt Bianca.
Not because she’ll never forgive me—her forgiveness isn’t something I’m seeking—but because it destroyed the trust and faith she had in me.
In us.
Because in the end, I did the one thing I swore I would never do to her.
I left.
And forced her to clean up the mess I made all by herself.
Because it hurt too damn much for me to stay.
I knock on the door of her dorm room, hoping like hell she’ll answer it.
Dylan texted me a half hour ago and said Bianca showed up at their apartment ready to burn it down to the ground because Jace lied to her about losing our baby.
Honestly? I’m surprised she didn’t.
I saw the way she looked at me—with so much pain and agony—I can only imagine the anger she must have spewed at her brothers.
Which is why I’m here now.
I can’t make things right, and I can’t force her to talk to her family again.
But I can show her where to direct all that resentment and pain.
Because while the universe obviously deems me unfit to ever be a father.
Bianca will make a great mother someday.
And I don’t want her thinking that any part of what happened is her fault.
I need her to place the blame where it belongs.
This way she can heal and move on.
Because I want the best for her.
And whether or not she hates me, it will never change the fact that I will always love her.
Chapter 67
Bianca
I ignore the incessant knocking on my door and toss some more clothes into my suitcase.
“Finally,” I mutter when it stops.
My relief is short-lived though because it starts up again.
Holy hell. Jace can be so goddamn stubborn it’s enough to make a person want to pull their hair out.
“Go away, Jace.”
I’m done with him. Done with everyone.