Igniting the Flame (Firebrand Series)

by Sandra Robbins

  He turned the TV off, then threw the remote across the room as hard as he could. It crashed into the wall and sank to the carpet. What was the matter with him? He’d always been able to have any woman he wanted, until now. And he didn’t know what to do.

  She’d made it very clear that she didn’t have a high opinion of the boy she’d known in high school, but he’d wanted her to know him as he was now. A lonely man who’d never been quite good enough to gain his father’s approval. A soldier who suffered nightmares from what he’d seen and done in battle. And a man who yearned to have someone say ‘I love you’ to him and mean it.

  He’d purposely moved slowly and tried to court her the way she deserved, hoping she’d see what lay deep within him, but she hadn’t been impressed. After two weeks of hoping to hear from her, he was ready to give up. He should chalk Lainey Simpson up to a bad experience and move on. Somehow, though, he didn’t think he could do that.

  Movement at the door caught his attention, and he turned to see his older brother Richard entering the den. He had a mug in each hand and held one out to Ash as he came toward him.

  “I thought you might like some coffee.”

  Ash smiled as he took the cup. Richard looked tired tonight. His red-streaked eyes and pale face worried Ash, and he let his gaze wander over his brother. Had he lost weight?

  Ash swallowed the nausea that always attacked him when he remembered how close Richard had come to dying when they were teenagers. He couldn’t bear to think about losing the only person he had truly loved.

  Ash’s breath hitched in his throat. “Are you okay, Richard?”

  Richard nodded and sank down on the couch. “If you’re asking if my cancer is still in remission, the answer is yes. I’ve just been buried in that new project at work.”

  Ash frowned and studied his brother. “Are you sure that’s what it is? I know you went to the doctor for a check-up yesterday. You’d tell me if anything was wrong, wouldn’t you?”

  Richard grinned and punched Ash on the shoulder. “You worry about me too much. I’m fine.”

  Ash scrubbed his hand over his face and shook his head. “I know Dad expected me to join the business as soon as I got home from the army, and I’m sorry you haveto carry the load right now. But the truth is that I haven’t decided if I can come to work at DeHan Enterprises or not.”

  Richard looked at him, and his shoulders sagged. “I know you don’t want to be tied down to a desk for the rest of your life, but think about Dad. He’s not getting any younger, and I need you to help me run the company. He built it for us, and we need to preserve it for our children.”

  Ash grunted at the thought of being a father. “It doesn’t look like that’s going to happen for either of us any time soon.” He sighed and rested against the couch cushion. “I don’t know if Dad and I could ever work together. He’s never given me credit for anything. He knows you’re the smart son. To him, I’m just the one who killed our mother.”

  Richard’s eyes flashed with anger. “That’s not how Dad sees you. Mom’s death had nothing to do with you.”

  “Except mine was the birth that killed her.”

  “When are you going to get that chip off your shoulder and meet him halfway? He’s a hard man, but he loves you. And he wants you to join us in the business.”

  Ash pushed up from the couch and stared down at his brother. “I don’t think I can do it, Richard. I know it’s not fair to you, but I’m not cut out for running a business. And I don’t think Dad really wants me there.”

  Richard shook his head. “You’re wrong.” He tilted his head to one side and stared. “Three weeks ago you talked like you might be considering coming to work with us. Then suddenly you changed your mind. What happened?”

  Ash’s face grew warm. “Nothing happened.”

  Richard set his coffee cup on the table beside the couch and looked back at Ash. “For a few weeks there, you were different. Happier. I know it had to do with a woman, because I heard you on the phone ordering flowers. Did something happen?”

  Ash rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and grimaced. “Yeah, something happened.”

  “What?”

  Ash felt moisture in his eyes. He blinked and shook his head. “She gave up on me just like Dad did.”

  Before Richard could say anything, Ash stormed from the room, rushed to the front door, and slammed it behind him. His car still sat in the driveway where he’d left it earlier, and he jumped inside and grabbed the steering wheel. He started to reach for the ignition, but instead closed his eyes and rested his head on his hands.

  He needed to go somewhere tonight. Do something. Maybe Sam could hang out for a while. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and punched in the number for Sam Black, his friend since childhood. Sam answered on the first ring.

  “Hey, Ash, what’s going on?”

  “How’s the new deputy sheriff’s job going?”

  “Great. It’s good to be back home, and I like the people I work with. What about you? Have you started to work for your dad yet?”

  Ash rubbed his hand over his face and stifled a groan. “Not yet.”

  “So what’s going on? I was surprised when your number showed up. I haven’t heard much from you since you got back.”

  “Sorry about that. I’ve been busy, but I’d like to do something about it. I thought we might hang out for a while. You up to that?”

  Sam sighed. “Oh, man, I’d like to, but I’ve got a date.”

  “A date? I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

  “Well, I haven’t been, but my old college girlfriend is in town, and I’m trying to get back together with her.”

  Ash laughed. “Well, good luck. We can get together another night. Let me know how your romantic evening turns out.”

  “Will do. Hey, it’s good to talk to you.”

  “Yeah, you, too.”

  Ash disconnected the call and leaned back against the headrest. So he wasn’t the only one having woman problems. Maybe Sam would be luckier than he’d been. With a sigh he started the car and headed toward downtown.

  As he drove through the heart of St. Claire, he stared at the people who strolled up and down the sidewalk in what he’d always called the souvenir shuffle. He shook his head in disgust. He’d never understood why tourists who came to the Smokies were so intent on buying the perfect souvenir of their trip and then ended up going home with a trinket made in China.

  Tonight the shops and restaurants were packed with summer tourists, and he drove for several minutes before he finally found a parking place in a public lot at the edge of the business district. With nothing better to do, he joined the wandering crowd.

  After a few blocks he sat down on one of the benches lining the sidewalks and leaned back as he studied everyone who passed by. After about an hour, he got to his feet and had started back to his car when he heard music in the distance. He recognized the sound right away. It was his favorite bluegrass band. Like they did every summer during the peak tourist season, they were playing in the park next to where he’d left his car.

  He wandered over to the park and stood at the back of the crowd for several minutes, listening to the music. He turned to leave, and his stomach clenched at the sight before him. He stood face to face with Lainey, but she wasn’t alone. His friend Sam Black stood beside her.

  Ash’s hands dangled at his sides, and he curled them into fists. His heart was pounding so hard, he thought she must be able to hear it. Her face had drained of color, and she stood unblinking with her mouth slightly open.

  Sam smiled and broke the strained silence. “Ash, you didn’t tell me you were coming down here tonight.”

  Ash heard Sam’s voice, but he couldn’t break his gaze with Lainey. He swallowed hard. “L-Lainey, how are you?”

  “I’m fine,” she whispered.

  Sam looked from one to the other. “Do you two know each other?”

  Still in a daze, Ash nodded. “Yeah, and it looks l
ike you know each other, too.” He took a step back, and his lips pulled into a wobbly smile. “You look beautiful tonight.”

  She blinked, and he thought he saw tears in her eyes. “Thank you.”

  He took a deep breath and turned his attention back to Sam. “So this is your college girlfriend. Lainey is a special person, Sam, but I’m sure you know that. You’re a lucky guy.”

  Then he clamped his lips together and strode out of the park. When he reached his car, he slumped against the door and breathed in deeply to try and still his racing heart.

  He’d been right when he told Richard that Lainey had given up on him. She’d done it without ever giving him a chance to change her mind about him. It pained him to realize he’d been holding out hope all this time that she would call. With an anguished cry, he raised his fists and banged them against the roof of his car.

  “No! No! No!” he cried out, his voice echoing across the parking lot. But there was no answer. He was alone, just like always.

  He didn’t know how long he stood there slumped against his car. It was probably only minutes, but it seemed like an eternity. He’d grieved when he’d lost friends in battle, but this was much different. He felt as if he’d been ripped open, his heart cut out of his body. This was grief for the loss of something that lay within his grasp. How had he let it slip through his fingers? It left him shattered and broken.

  Movement behind him caused him to still, and then his body stiffened in disbelief at the soft touch on his shoulder. His skin prickled at the delicate caress of fingers grazing his arm. With his heart in his throat he whirled, and his eyes widened.

  Lainey stood just inches away, her head tilted to one side, tears in her eyes. He took a deep breath and clenched his fists at his side. “What do you want?”

  “I want to talk to you, if you’ll let me.” She inched closer. “I think there are things we both need to say, and I’m willing to take the first step. All I ask is that you listen and be honest with me. Will you do that?”

  He couldn’t speak because his heart was hammering so hard. All he could do was nod.

  Chapter 5

  Lainey had never acted impulsively in her life. Since she was a child, she’d carefully considered every decision before making her choice. Until tonight. When she’d come face–to-face with Ash, she’d almost sunk to her knees.

  Since their argument, she hadn’t been able to get him out of her mind. She’d thrown herself into her new job with a determination to put Ash DeHan out of her mind permanently. But when she went to bed at night, the memories of their times together played over and over in her mind, making it impossible to sleep.

  She’d picked up her phone many times to call him, but she never followed through. No matter how much she missed him, she still believed that ending things with him was the best choice in the long run. When Ash had told her about Firebrand, she’d known their relationship was doomed. She could see the excitement in his eyes when he talked about the covert operation. She’d heard it in his voice that night. It stood to reason he’d choose an exciting life with his friends rather than settling down in St. Claire. Better to get past the feelings he’d stirred in her, feelings that no one else had even come close to producing before.

  So when Sam called with the invitation to go to the concert in the park, she’d jumped at the chance. Anything to get out of the house. She’d always liked Sam but that was as far as it had gone when they were dating in college. No matter how hard she tried to break through his reserve, he’d always closed himself off to her. She never could see what lay hidden in his heart, and in the end she hadn’t cared.

  She would never have suspected, though, that the evening with Sam would take such a dramatic turn when she came face to face with Ash. The look on his face when he saw her had stabbed her in the heart, and in that moment she knew he’d been hurting just as much as she had.

  The despair on his face when he realized she and Sam were together made her think that perhaps he’d been sincere when he said he didn’t want to leave her to join Firebrand. The thought made her want to throw her arms around him and beg him to forgive her for the things she’d said. Instead she’d stood rooted to the spot and watched as he’d stormed away toward the parking lot.

  Beside her, Sam had touched her arm. “Let’s go find a seat.”

  She glanced at Sam and then back to Ash’s retreating figure. In that moment she knew the rest of her life depended on the choice she made at that moment. If she didn’t find out the answer, she would always wonder what would have happened if she’d gone after him.

  “I’m sorry, Sam,” she said. “I have to go.”

  Before he could ask why, she had turned and was running in the direction that Ash had disappeared. She prayed she could catch him before he left. When she ran into the parking lot, she looked around in despair at the cars that filled the area. There was no way she could find him now.

  She scanned the area hoping to catch sight of him, but he was nowhere in sight. Tears filled her eyes, and she was about to turn away when she heard a strangled cry nearby. With her heart pounding, she ran toward the sound to find Ash slumped against his car and beating on the roof. When she touched his arm, he whirled around and stared at her as if he couldn’t believe she werethere.

  She took a big breath and inched closer until they were almost touching. “This is hard for me, Ash. I’ve never done anything like this in my life. So I need you to listen and let me get it all out before you say anything. Can you do that?”

  His lips parted, but he didn’t say anything as he stared down at her. Finally he nodded.

  “First of all,” she began, “I want to apologize for the thoughtless things I said to you the last time I saw you. You’ve been nothing but kind to me since we met, and I had no right to judge you based on how I remember you from years ago. I hope you can forgive me.”

  “Lainey. . .” he whispered.

  She held up her hand. “I’ve been alone a lot during my life. I lost my parents when I was young, and I felt like I’d been deserted. I loved my grandmother, but we never really connected. She wasn’t really a mother-figure to me. More like a nice lady who gave me a place to live. I only had a few friends in high school, and I’ve lost touch with them. My college friends are scattered across the country, and I only hear from them in emails. So you see, I’ve had to survive on my own. Then I met you, and everything changed.”

  A tear rolled down her cheek, and he reached up and rubbed it away with his thumb. She wanted to turn her face into his palm and kiss it, but she forced herself to stand still. “Suddenly I didn’t want to be alone any more. I wanted you, but I was afraid you didn’t want me, that you wanted Firebrand more. So I did the only thing I knew to do.”

  “Lainey, I never—”

  “Please let me finish,” she interrupted, her voice louder than she intended. “Tonight when I saw you, I thought I saw something in your eyes that told me you were as unhappy as I am, and I decided that no matter what you said now, I had to do what you’d told me to do. You said when I was ready to take a chance on us, to let you know. I’ve never believed in love at first sight, but by the time we left that shelter the day we met, I knew I was already falling in love with you. I want that chance, Ash. I want to see if you can fall in love with me, too.”

  She waited for his response, but he didn’t say anything. He only stared into her eyes for a moment before he reached up and placed his hands on either side of her face in a soft caress. “I think you just let me see a bit of what’s underneath the layers of the woman who stole my heart the minute I met you.”

  Her heartbeat quickened, and she stood still, not wanting to break contact with his touch. “Do you mean that?”

  “More than I’ve ever meant anything in my life. I’ve never been in love before, Lainey, but I know I’ll never feel about another woman the way I do about you. You own my heart and soul and always will.”

  The tears she’d been trying to hold back rolled from her e
yes, and he smiled. Then he pulled her face closer, and his lips covered hers. For a moment all she could do was accept the invitation he offered, and then she realized how lonely she’d been before Ash came into her life. Reaching up, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. His lips ground against hers, and she realized he was pouring out all the heartache and hurt of the last few weeks into that kiss.

  When they finally pulled apart, he rested his head against her forehead. “It killed me when I saw you with Sam tonight. Don’t ever do that to me again. From this night on we belong to each other for the rest of our lives.”

  “Yes,” she whispered, “for the rest of our lives.”

  He took a deep breath and threaded her fingers through his before he led her around the car to the passenger side. When he opened the door, she turned a questioning glance at him. “Where are we going?”

  “Someplace we can be alone. I need to be with you tonight.”

  She glanced toward the park. “What about Sam? I came with him.”

  Ash pulled his cell phone from his pocket. “Well, you’re not leaving with him, that’s for sure. Call him from my phone and tell him you got another ride home. He’ll understand.”

  Lainey’s eyes widened at the possessive look that flashed in Ash’s eyes. “I remember now that you two were friends in high school. I’d forgotten about that.”

  Ash nodded. “All our lives. And very competitive.” He bent over and planted a soft kiss on her lips. “But I don’t intend for him to take what’s mine, and you are mine.”

  He drew back and slammed the door, then moved around to the driver’s side and got in. She tightened her hold on his cell phone and closed her eyes for a brief moment before she punched in Sam’s number. He answered on the first ring.