Life Happens on the Stairs

by Amy J. Markstahler

  “Mark hates it here,” I’d said. “He’s making everyone miserable.”

  “I know. I’m hoping that’ll get better in time. I think we’ll see some big changes soon. You’ll see.” He’d put his arm around me and squeezed me close. “I love you, my sweet girl.”

  Even though he’d tried to explain, I still didn’t understand why he’d traded a life of privilege for hard work and struggle. I thought of how he’d kissed the top of my head, and how I’d wrapped my arms around his waist, squeezing him tight.

  Slumping back on my pillows, I wiped away my tears. How in the world would I ever go on without him? We’d worked together all spring, planting the fields, making sure to clear out any weeds as the crops matured. I needed to get out there and see if it was overgrown. Even if he hadn’t asked, I knew he relied on me to pick up the slack.

  Talking to him was a good sign. Maybe there was still a chance he’d get better. I didn’t want him to come home to a field full of weeds, smothering the pepper plants.

  Chapter 7

  The next morning, I sat in the car, heavy-eyed, waiting for Tyler. Part of me was glad he was late. I wanted to see him, but I wasn’t looking forward to jogging. Just as I started to doze off, the purr of his car whizzed by. I sat up, rubbing my eyes. Seconds later, he opened my door.

  “Good morning,” he said, offering his hand.

  I accepted his help, and stepped out. We stood inches apart.

  “Oh, wow,” he said. “Your eyes are incredible this morning.”

  I looked down at his navy T-shirt. “They’re swollen and puffy.”

  “Not at all. Look at me.” His fingertips brushed the side of my cheek. I glanced up. “They’re practically silver instead of blue. Just beautiful.”

  “Thank you,” I said, shyly turning away.

  He shut the door and leaned against the car. “Are you okay?”

  The morning sun warmed my cheeks, casting light on the mask I hoped he wouldn’t see through. But it was hard to keep it all inside. The way he patiently waited for me to answer, the compassionate look in his eyes... I needed to talk to someone. “Not really,” I said. “Yesterday morning was great, but it was all downhill from there.”

  “Your dad?”

  “Yeah. But I did get to talk to him.”

  “Is he getting better?”

  “He won’t get better. There’s really no other way to look at it.”

  “Aw, Elsie.” Tyler stepped forward and gently pulled me into his arms. I surrendered, pressing my face against his chest. His breath was warm against my cheek as he whispered, “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

  I agreed with a sniffle, rubbing my cheek on his chest.

  He eased away, then looked into my eyes for several heart-pounding seconds. He wanted to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. Instead, he smiled, and stepped away.

  Damn it.

  “Are you in the mood to jog?” he asked. “We can always walk.”

  I followed him across the road, still reeling that he didn’t go for it.

  The trail looked cool and shady in the morning light. Running didn’t sound so bad after that emotional rollercoaster.

  “Jogging sounds good, actually.”

  ~ * ~

  We started every day for the next three weeks that way.

  Me: exhausted from cleaning and staying late at the hospital.

  Him: full of energy and ready to run.

  He never pushed for information, but when I wanted to talk, he’d stop jogging, and we’d walk together. His attention astounded me. He was never condescending or dismissive of my feelings. He offered advice if he had some, but mostly, he’d just listen.

  I couldn’t wait to see him each morning. I’d get up early and hurry out before anyone else woke up. Even though I grew stronger each day, I still struggled to keep up with him, but he’d always fall back and run along with me when he noticed I was lagging behind.

  While jogging the roads and trails around the park, Tyler charmed me with his knowledge of the Civil War and personal stories about the men who’d died there. He knew about the Federal and Confederate troops, explained the generals’ strategies, The Bloody Pond, Pittsburg Landing, Grant’s last line, and how the battle began at Fraley Field.

  His intelligence, his passion, the way he sought and expressed knowledge, fascinated me. I gave him the same respect he afforded me by listening to his insight, and considering his ideas. Like a curtain had been pulled back, Tyler had revealed a whole new view of the past, pointing out where history repeated itself by renaming the evil and replacing the men in power to implement it. He’d rattle off the names of authors like Steinbeck and Hawthorne, or artists such as Millet, recording the realism of everyday workers, and how the Post-Impressionist movement responded to industrialism at the turn of the nineteenth century.

  He taught me more in three weeks than I’d learned in all my years of history class.

  At night, Mom and I would sit in the hospital room with Dad, but knowing I would meet Tyler in the morning pulled me through the long evenings. I went out of my way to keep Mom from becoming suspicious. I was always on time, never mentioning his name or the Vaughns’ in general. Despite the fact that my lie was only one of omission, for me, it grew.

  The lie empowered me.

  It became my private world. A place I could go and forget about everything. Tyler was my secret, and nobody knew where I took shelter. Except for him. He understood. He’d hold my hand, sometimes wrapping his arm around me as we walked and talked. Several times, he pulled me into his embrace when I spoke of Dad’s worsening condition, and then I cried, buried in his arms. He still hadn’t kissed me, and I yearned for him to take the next step. But I resisted making the first move, obliged to return his respect and behave like a lady. Regardless, he showed me enough affection that I knew it wasn’t just about me. It was about his character and integrity, about being a gentleman.

  And so, my lie grew.

  I was willing to sacrifice everything to keep our world safe.

  Every day that I grew closer to Tyler, Dad grew weaker and further away from me. The idea of him coming home seemed impossible. Mom said we’d surely kill him if we brought him back, given all the care he required. It wasn’t an option at that point anyway.

  After the day I talked to him, he’d taken a turn for the worse. The medical team induced another coma to relieve the continued swelling. When the doctor reported the diagnosis, Mom and I cried in each other’s arms again. Our staircase of circumstances kept crumbling beneath us. Instead of learning a lesson, like Tyler suggested, my expectations were being smashed under the pressure of my weight. As if my staircase had wood rot.

  In the morning, I’d start my day feeling strong and inspired, but by nightfall, the reality of my existence would hit me – I will soon lose the man I’d loved my whole life.

  Each night, I sat in the hospital room with my parents. Dad didn’t wake, but we talked to him as if he could hear us. Ruby and Woodrow would stop by throughout the week and help lighten the mood for a while. Mom had lost at least ten pounds (weight she couldn’t afford to lose), especially since she hadn’t had a home-cooked meal in weeks. I tried to keep her fed by running to the cafeteria to get her dinner. She was thankful but rarely ate more than a few bites.

  Around ten, we’d head home like zombies and go to our rooms. I’d call Tyler, and talk until I couldn’t stay awake any longer.

  He’d become my refuge, my hope, my only solace when everything else around me was uncertain.

  Chapter 8

  Cicadas buzzed the air, a clear indication that school would start soon. I hated the thought of summer ending, not only because it meant I had to go back to Hardin High, but most of all, Tyler would be leaving for Nashville. I tried not to dwell on it. I only had one semester of classes, but the more important fact was... I only had two weeks left with him. I’d go back to high school as a student with a dying father. He’d go back to being Tyler Vaughn.
/>   With these thoughts rolling through my head, we jogged near the river at a slow pace. Turning south, we followed the curve of the road. A little cabin and a white church sat in the distance. I slowed down and started walking. He slowed with me.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I’m just having a bad morning. Bummed it’s August. You have to leave soon.”

  “I know.”

  He took my hand, lacing his fingers between mine as we walked toward the cabin near the woodlands. A cemetery occupied the other side of the road. We stopped and read the plaque that said the log cabin was the original Shiloh Church.

  A Methodist meeting place from which the battle was named.

  “Place of Peace,” Tyler read, then he grinned at me. “Maybe we should make this our place of peace, too.”

  We walked across the lawn and stepped inside the one-room church. The cabin was constructed in hand-carved wood with the exception of the built-in stone fireplace. Two rows of hewed benches lined either side of the space. Weathered, uneven, plank flooring under our feet. I thought about how many people had stepped where I stood. We looked around for a few minutes, and then I sat down in the front bench. Tyler sat down next to me.

  “Am I making all of this harder on you?” he asked. “You have enough on your plate.”

  “Not at all. You’re the only thing I have to look forward to. I mean, well, don’t think I’m latching on to you. You know, I’m—”

  “Yeah, I get it,” he said. His cheeks reddened, and then he said, “Can I see your dad?”

  “Really? Um, yeah. We can arrange that.”

  Tyler looked down at his lap, almost as if he was embarrassed for asking. “If I don’t see him now, I may not get another chance.”

  The guy never ceased to amaze me. My eyes filled with tears. He looked up. I quickly looked away.

  “Aw, it’s no big deal,” he said.

  I tried to smile, but a tear fell in spite of me. Tyler wiped it away with the back of his fingers. Then, he slid his hand into my hair, leaned in and brushed his lips across mine. I’d never been kissed. I’d been waiting my whole life for this moment. Slowly pulling away, he looked into my eyes as if seeking my approval. We both smiled, and then he pressed his lips to mine again, pouring more passion into me than my senses knew how to handle.

  Finally. He’d been such a gentleman, so respectful. I thought he’d never try. He moved his lips over mine, then pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes again.

  “I’ve never felt the way I do when I’m with you,” he said. “I don’t want this to end.”

  “Me, either.”

  “Will you let me take you out this weekend? It’s driving me crazy that you’re keeping this secret. Will you please let me pick you up and see where you live?”

  “Yes.”

  “Really?”

  I smiled.

  “Who would’ve thought the girl I’d fall for would have to lie to be with me?”

  “I bet.” I giggled, then I gasped. “That’s what it is... you like the challenge.”

  “It doesn’t hurt,” he snickered. “But that isn’t what it is at all. I like you for who you are. From your smile to your eyes, to how hard you work, and the love you give your parents. Your talent, and the way you make me feel when we’re together. I could keep going.”

  “Keep going,” I joked.

  “You’re a beautiful person, Elsie. Inside and out,” he said, and then he gently kissed me again. After he pulled away, he asked, “Do you have to work today?”

  “No, Mom’s at your house. It’s a good time to go to the hospital if you want. She won’t be there until late in the afternoon.”

  “Works for me.”

  He stood up and offered me both of his hands. Pulling me to my feet, he caught my lips with his. He was claiming me, that much was clear. Clutching my face with one hand, he pressed our bodies tight, infusing me with his energy, exploring me with his touch, filling me with his taste and his irresistible scent. He kissed me deeper, running his hand through my hair, and then he slowed, letting the moment linger before pulling away.

  “Damn... I’ve been waiting weeks to do that. Now that I’ve succeeded in my conquest,” his eyes danced, “let’s run.”

  He understood my language. Taking my hand, he led me outside to the paved road. The cool morning had shifted and heat and humidity smothered the atmosphere. After a few hundred yards, I couldn’t take the sultry air any longer. I pulled off my T-shirt, exposing my cami underneath. The breeze was cool on my sweaty skin. I wiped my face with the shirt without giving it a thought. Tyler glanced my way.

  Oh no, my scar... I’d totally forgotten! Then, like a vice had clamped onto my right calf, a piercing pain shot through the back of my leg.

  “Damn it,” I shouted.

  I started to pace in a circle, trying to work it out, but I could feel the knot tightening with every step. Tyler stopped and turned around.

  “You’ll get it,” he said. “Keep walking.”

  I moved toward him with my hands on my hips, sucking in short breaths. A black Cadillac passed us on the road, distracting me as I limped out of the way. Tyler ignored the driver, chuckling at my sudden attack.

  Panic and pain wrestled for my attention. I knew what was coming next.

  He nodded at my shoulder. “What’s that from?”

  “What?”

  “You know what I’m talking about.”

  My calf pounded with a misplaced heartbeat.

  “Um, it’s from an accident I had a few years back.”

  “What kind of accident?”

  “A stupid one.”

  “You can’t do that now!” His voice cracked. “We’ve come so far. You can’t avoid questions anymore.”

  “It’s a long story. Can I tell you later? I have to go home and change if you want to go to the hospital.”

  “You’re a pro at avoiding a direct question. How about I meet you at Wally’s gas station?”

  “Um, your Mercedes at Wally’s, and me climbing inside, isn’t the way I want Mom to find out we’re seeing each other. Meet me at the hospital. You’ll blend better there. You look like a doctor in that car.”

  “Dr. Vaughn.” Tyler grinned. “I can still go that route.”

  “I’m sure you’re smart enough to.”

  As I drove home, I replayed the morning over and over in my mind. My first kiss. An amazingly perfect first kiss. Every time I thought about how his lips felt against mine, my stomach flipped with joy. I wanted to shout from the hilltops, Tyler Vaughn is my guy! Glancing in the rearview mirror, I looked the same with the exception of the cheesy smile I couldn’t wipe off my face. Inside, I didn’t feel the same. In the midst of all the pain hammering down on my family, I never thought I’d find an ounce of joy. If Tyler felt half as comfortable in my embrace as I did in his, the stars had finally aligned, allowing me to feel hopeful again.

  Chapter 9

  I managed to look, in my opinion, better than I ever had in front of Tyler. I showered and dressed in my best jeans and a fitted, cornflower-blue Henley. Feeling rather confident, I climbed out of the car and stopped in my tracks. There he was, looking like he’d just stepped off a catwalk. His hair still damp, he was wearing dark jeans and a white, Ralph Lauren button-up, the fabric practically glowing next to his tan skin, sleeves rolled up, unbuttoned just enough for me to see his smooth chest. If this was his hospital look, what in the world would he wear on a date?

  “I didn’t think you could get any more beautiful.” He shook his head, smiling. “Once again, you’ve proven me wrong.”

  “I could say the same thing about you...”

  After a long walk through the hospital, we found Aaron at his normal post outside Dads room. He looked up and smiled, and then he did a double take when he saw who I was with. Standing up, Aaron’s eyes brightened as he sized Tyler up.

  “Well, who’s your friend, Elsie?” Aaron asked, holding out his hand.

  “
Tyler,” my guy said, returning Aaron’s handshake. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Heaven have mercy!” Aaron blurted out, followed with an awkward laugh. He cleared his throat as his face turned crimson. “Y’all are welcome to go on in. He’s stable.”

  “Thanks,” I said.

  Aaron quickly darted across the hall into another room as we walked into Dad’s room.

  “What was that all about?” I asked Tyler.

  “He plays for the other team, darling.”

  “Oh.”

  Tyler stopped at the foot of the bed as I approached Dad and looked him over. His head was wrapped in gauze, eyes closed, and with the exception of his chest rising and falling, he didn’t move.

  “Well, here we are.” I leaned down and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “Daddy, I brought someone to see you. You’ve met before, but he wanted to see you again.”

  I sat down in the chair next to the bed. Tyler stood back, looking over the scene, and then he sat in the chair on the opposite side. He took a breath like he was going to say something, but he turned to me instead.

  “I’m going to talk to him, is that okay with you?”

  “Of course. They say he can hear us.”

  Tyler scooted the chair closer to Dad then leaned forward, supporting himself on his forearms. We made eye contact. He gave me a shy smile, and then he turned to Dad.

  “Mr. Richardson, I’m Tyler Vaughn. We met about a month ago at the festival, but I wanted to properly introduce myself. I’m sorry it has to be under these circumstances.” He glanced at me again. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Elsie. You’ve raised a fine young woman, if I may say so, sir. I wanted to tell you how much she means to me. It’s only right. If a father has a chance to know, a man should tell him what his intentions are.”

  I sat straighter. Intentions? Where was he going with this?