Finding Us

by Debra Presley

  Abby knew that sharing her music and inner thoughts with someone would be scary, but with Aisling and her team, she was willing to try new things with her voice and was eager to get input and feedback on her music. Aisling pushed Abby to channel her pain, hurt, and sorrow into her songs. With every note, it seemed a little piece of her healed.

  Aisling brought in some very talented musicians, and Abby really loved what they were doing. This was such a change from what she was used to in the studio. Abby either wrote, or had a hand in writing, every song. This entire album would be hers. Each word she sang was from the heart, and the emotions behind them were genuine. Often she had to stop to collect herself. This was the most personal work she had ever created, and as hard as it was, it was the most gratifying thing she’d ever done musically.

  “Ready?” Aisling asked.

  Abby took another sip of water and gave the signal for the music to start. She closed her eyes and tuned everyone else out. It was just her and the music. She pulled from her memories and focused on how she felt so alone and lost not that long ago. She thought back on how her mother lied and Sean hurt her, and she let it all go. This here was her therapy. She didn’t need to sit on a couch and tell a stranger how she was feeling because music was her way. This was her way to tell the world how she felt and explain how she was coping. Music was the way she would show everyone that she could make it on her own. She was strong enough to make her own choices and carve her own path in life.

  “That’s a wrap, babe,” Aisling called through the speaker in the control room.

  “Yeah, I thought I nailed that one.”

  “Absolutely. Take a break.”

  Abby removed her headphones, walked out of the recording booth, and into the control room.

  “I’m ready to dive into the next song,” Abby said as she sat in the empty chair next to Aisling.

  “I wish I could, but I made plans tonight to go check out some area clubs.”

  “Nice. Have fun.” Abby smiled, but she was a bit disappointed. She was on a roll and wanted to keep going.

  “Come with?”

  “I wish I could, but the guys need some warning before I go traipsing off.”

  “Makes sense.” Aisling didn’t add anything to that. Everyone knew what had happened to her. “Tomorrow I have a meeting in the city, so I’ll see you in two days. Sound good?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Awesome. I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”

  “Have fun.” Abby gave Aisling a quick hug.

  “Thanks.”

  * * *

  Two weeks had passed since her talk with Ms. Sohm, and she’d done nothing but think about what she said. She missed Danny and wanted to talk to him. But she hesitated to call. They’d texted a few times since she arrived in New Jersey but nothing beyond that.

  Abby poured herself a cup of coffee in the kitchen. She stirred the sugar in and thought about the connection she’d felt with Danny, a bond that she had never found with anyone else.

  Sophie called in often to check on Abby. Over the last week, she seemed determined to convince Abby that Danny had feelings for her.

  “He keeps asking about you,” Sophie repeated for what seemed like the millionth time.

  “That means nothing.” Abby sighed.

  “God, you’re so blind. Wake up girl. What’s it going to take for you to believe me?” Sophie nearly yelled into the phone. Abby could hear her frustration. Maybe she should take Sophie’s word.

  Abby took a sip of her coffee. She knew that she had to find the courage to take a chance.

  Abby glanced down at her phone. What if Sophie was right? What if Danny was interested in her? If she didn’t take a chance, she’d never know. She tried to talk herself out of it on the way up to her bedroom, but that nagging little voice—the one that sounded too much like Sophie—had her determined to find out one way or the other if Danny’s feeling were more than just professional. She placed her coffee on a small, glass-topped, cream-colored, wicker side table before sitting down on the extra wide window bench.

  Once settled she unlocked her phone, called up his contact info, and stared at the screen. Her finger hovered over his name. Just do it. She touched the call button and waited for him to pick up, nervously tapping her foot.

  “Hey, you. Everything okay?” Danny greeted. His voice was warm, and he sounded happy to hear from her.

  “Yeah. I’m fine. Everything’s great here.” And it was. She was really happy with how things were going recently.

  “That’s good to hear. So how’ve you been? Did you have a good Fourth of July?” he asked.

  “Busy, and it was good. I had my producer and her crew over for a barbeque.” God, she felt stupid. If he wanted to talk to her, he would’ve called, right? Suddenly, she needed to move. She stood and paced the short distance between her bed and the door. “I’ve been working on some new songs. We finalized two the other day.”

  “I heard. King said they’re amazing.” The warmth in his voice sent heat down her thighs.

  “He told you about them?” She was surprised that King would share something like that. He didn’t seem to notice anything about her, yet noticed everything about their surroundings. He made her feel safe without being intrusive.

  “He was really impressed, and Freddie is in heaven. He said you let him jam once or twice with the musicians.”

  “He’s quite good.” She sat back down on the cushioned bench and looked out at the ocean.

  “Don’t tell him that. You’ll give him an even bigger ego than he already has.”

  “Ha, I’ll remember that, but I think it’s too late. Jax already told him that he has some talent.”

  “Jax, huh?”

  “Aisling’s co-producer. He’s quite the talent all on his own.”

  “I bet,” he sounded annoyed. “How are the guys? They aren’t crowding you?”

  Abby paused at the abrupt change in subject.

  “They’re fine. Perfect gentlemen. It was a little strange for a bit, but they have their own rooms, and since you had them put in a security system that’s better than the one the White House has, they don’t really need to be shadows while we’re on the property.” She laughed.

  “Yeah, well, I’m glad the system is working.”

  “It is.” She leaned against the window and saw her reflection. She was smiling and blushing. “So…” She hesitated. Was she ready to take this step? Once she said what she wanted to say there would be no turning back.

  “I…I…”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just…well, I wanted to know if you’d like to have dinner with me.”

  Silence.

  Shit. This was not going well. “I thought maybe pizza and a movie. We can veg out here and catch up or whatever.” She kept her tone light. “I get it if you’re really busy, but I kind of miss having you around.” She tried to make it sound as if she was teasing.

  “Oh, really? After I was all up in your business for so long? You miss that?”

  “Okay, maybe not that.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Okay. When did you want me to come over?”

  “I know it’s short notice, but I have tonight to myself. Aisling is in the city today and part of tomorrow, so my schedule is free.”

  “Tonight?” He hesitated again. “Hmm…I can do that.”

  “Yeah?” She was surprised. The drive from the city to Abby was about three hours without traffic. Abby thought for sure he’d say he was busy, but he didn’t. She couldn’t stop her smile.

  “Yeah.”

  “Great. How about six?”

  “That’ll work.”

  “Cool. I’ll see you tonight.” Abby pulled the phone away from her ear. “Yes,” she said as she hung up and then hugged herself. He said yes. Now what was she going to wear? She ran to her closet to find the perfect outfit for tonight.

  * * *

  Danny thought he heard Abby say “yes” as she h
ung up. If he wasn’t a manly Army guy, he might have done the same.

  Finally. He hadn’t wanted to push her with all that she’d been through, but it had been practically a month since he last saw her, and he was on the verge of breaking his own rules. Sophie had been pushing him to call her, but he wanted to give her time to get established. More than ever, she needed to know she could do things on her own. She didn’t need anyone micromanaging, and he knew if he were around, she’d lean on him when it came to decisions she needed to make herself.

  “Nucci?” Connor strolled in. He stopped. “Dude? What happened?”

  “Abby called.”

  “Oh.” He laughed. “You got this,” he said and broke into an eighties snake dance move. Danny sat back and watched Connor pop and lock.

  “You missed your calling, bro. So did you come in here to annoy me, or did you need me for something?”

  “The annoyance was a bonus. I told Paula I’d come get you. Our next meeting is waiting in the conference room.”

  Danny looked at his computer to check the time. It wasn’t even lunch yet. “Let’s get this meeting over with.” He stood and followed Connor to the meeting. If he got lucky, this consultation wouldn’t take too long and he could take his ass home and change before heading to Abby’s place.

  As Danny hit the Garden State Parkway, he wondered what the night would bring. His main role had always been keeping Abby safe. Yes, they were friends, but first and foremost, he was her guard and her protector. He didn’t mind that job. In fact, he’d hated giving the responsibility to anyone else, but he knew it was necessary. He wanted to control everything, and he hated that about himself—especially when it came to Abby.

  He still worried that she wouldn’t see him any other way. Throughout the tour, he noticed a pattern; whenever Vivien let her wrath loose, Abby would lean on Sophie or him. They were familiar, and they let her blow off steam in a safe environment. Did she ask him over because she missed the people who were familiar to her?

  Abby needed to rely on herself and her own judgment. She was an intelligent woman who managed to be successful despite her mother. She needed to see she was worthy of that success. Her accomplishments were all hers. He wanted her to see that she could do it all, and he realized, too, that he wasn’t helping her by being a control freak. That was why he stepped away from her security detail.

  He watched out the windshield. The traffic on the Parkway was heavy but thankfully moving. The shore traffic could be killer any day of the week in the summer. The closer he got to his destination, the more nervous and unsure he felt. He didn’t know how the night would go, but however it went, he’d let Abby lead the way.

  * * *

  Abby stared critically at herself in the mirror. This was the third outfit that she’d tried on. Everything looked as if she was trying too hard. Finally, she settled on a black lace, strapless bandeau and a sheer cream-colored flowy camisole. She put on a pair of jean shorts then searched her closet for a pair of flat strappy sandals before she headed downstairs. She checked the time on her phone and quickly did the math in her head. Danny had texted earlier to let her know he was on his way. If traffic wasn’t too bad, he’d be here soon. Maybe she should order the pizza.

  Abby went down the hall that connected the living room to the kitchen and knocked on the utility door. When King and Freddie rewired the house and updated the security system, they hijacked the small room off the kitchen and made a command center.

  “Come in,” King called.

  “I was going to order pizza. Did you guys want anything different?”

  “Danny gave us the night off so no need to worry about us.”

  That wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “Really?” Abby wanted time with Danny the man, not Danny the security specialist. The last thing she wanted was him to be focused on the work of being with Abby instead of the pleasure. “Umm…if you’ve not made any plans yet, could you stay?”

  “Stay?” King looked confused.

  “I want to catch up with Danny, and if you guys are around, then he won’t have to be Mr. Security Guard.” She hoped King couldn’t see her blush.

  He didn’t seem to notice, or he was just too professional to tease her about it. “Oh, yeah. Sure. We didn’t have any plans. Do you have a menu? I’ll take a look and give it to Freddie when he comes back down.”

  “Yes. Be right back.” She left and closed the door behind her before she leaned against it and exhaled. She took a moment to let the excitement in her stomach settle a bit. Then she went to get the menu.

  * * *

  Abby stared at the door when she heard the doorbell. It felt like there were gymnasts doing flips in her stomach. She had performed for presidents and in the Super Bowl halftime show, and she couldn’t remember ever feeling like this. She let out a deep breath, checked the peephole, and then opened the door for Danny.

  She took in all six feet two inches of him. Had he always been this tall and broad? Geez, he looked good. Really good. He wore a charcoal-grey V-neck T-shirt and jeans.

  “Hey,” she said. She was so nervous didn’t recognize her own voice.

  “Hey.” He grinned and stood there staring at her.

  “Oh, sorry. Come in.” She opened the door wider and moved aside so he could move past her.

  “Thanks.” He smiled as he stepped into the living room. He almost brushed against her as he passed, and Abby held her breath and focused on not reaching out and touching him. It’d been far too long since she’d felt his arms around her, and she hadn’t realized how needy she was for the experience.

  Chill out, she chided herself silently. “Didn’t the guys give you the code to the door?”

  She watched him scan the room and evaluate the space. Old habits. It made her smile. And those jeans fit him really well. And his cologne…how had she forgotten something as basic as his scent? She breathed him in and almost laughed when she realized how all over the place her thoughts were. Focus.

  “Yeah. I thought I’d better use the doorbell. Be like other people.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “Where are the guys?”

  “In their new command center. I’ll show you.”

  She was about to show him to the room when the doorbell sounded again.

  Danny looked at her.

  “It’s the delivery guy. I’ll go grab my purse.”

  “I’ve got it.”

  “No. I invited you.”

  “Please?”

  “All right.” She didn’t want to argue about pizza, so she relented and headed into the kitchen to fetch the dishes and silverware.

  “That’s a lot of food for two people,” Danny said, holding the three boxes of pizza.

  “I asked the guys to stay.”

  “Oh?”

  She gave him a playful little smirk. “I didn’t want you on duty, so I asked if they’d stay.” Abby hung air quotes around “on duty.” She paused for a moment when she realized exactly how that sounded, but decided to forge ahead anyway. “I hope you don’t mind, but I sort of wanted to hang out with Danny Nucci and not Mr. Bodyguard. That is if you can be just you for a few hours.” She left that as a challenge.

  He grinned. “That works. I’ll bring them their food. Where are they hiding?”

  “We actually passed them. The first door on your left.” She pointed back to the hallway.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  “I’ll be in the living room. Do you want a beer?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Abby handed Danny the pizzas for Freddie and King, then piled the dishes and silverware on top of the remaining pizza box. She had been so worried he’d object, but it seemed as though he was all for spending personal time with her, time when he wasn’t on the clock and she wasn’t just a job. Her small smile turned into a grin. Maybe this could really go somewhere.

  “Let me help.” Danny had snuck up on her. He grabbed the remaining pizza, the plates, and silverware.

  “I’ll be right behind you. I�
�ll just get our drinks.” Abby grabbed the six-pack and an open bottle of pinot grigio from the fridge and balanced the two, along with a wine glass, in her hands and followed him to the living room. She set everything on the coffee table. “Here.” She handed Danny the TV remote. “Pick something to watch from Netflix.”

  “What are you in the mood for?”

  “I don’t care.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, pick away.” She placed two slices of pizza on a plate and put it in front of him.

  “It smells delicious.”

  “It’s one of my favorites in the area. I called them earlier because they’re usually busy in the summer.”

  “Smart thinking. Okay, get ready to laugh.”

  “The Naked Gun?”

  “Ever seen it?”

  “No.”

  “Then I’ll repeat myself. Get ready to laugh.”

  Abby served herself, sat back on the couch, and dug in.

  * * *

  The movie was funny, and Abby found herself, on more than one occasion, wiping away tears of laughter from her eyes.

  “Told you,” Danny said, triumphant.

  “You did.” She picked up her wine glass. It felt good, having him here and laughing at a goofy movie. It was almost like it was when they hung out late nights on the bus. Abby and Danny would stay up long after everyone else had gone to bed and just watch whatever they could find on the TV, or they’d pop in some movie that they’d seen a million times before.

  “I’m really glad you asked me here tonight,” he said.

  Feeling shy, she blushed and looked down at her glass. “Same here.” She met his gaze. Could she take the plunge and let him in on how she was feeling? Would he turn her down? Or was Sophie and Ms. Sohm right? Did he really have feelings for her? Now or never. “So, I’ve had a few incredibly exciting weeks, and I learned a lot about myself. I’ve never had to think for myself. I know I’m going to make mistakes, but that’s okay because I can do it. And I’ve figured out at least one thing that I want.”