by Holly Rayner
“It should be,” she said. “It should be illegal to take advantage of someone’s financial problems like this. If I wasn’t two months away from being homeless, you wouldn’t even be asking me.”
“I’m offering you a million dollars,” he said. “That isn’t a small sum, and there are hundreds of women in New York who would be more than willing to do it—women who aren’t struggling as much as you are. I want to help you. And I wouldn’t mind my child being like you.”
“You’re certifiable,” Eva said, hardly able to believe what she was hearing. “What the hell would make you think I’d want this?”
“You said you wouldn’t mind having a child of your own,” Filipe said. “But you’re afraid of screwing it up. This way, you know that you have a baby. You’ve brought another human into the world. But you aren’t responsible for it. You have no monetary obligation, no need to choose schools or worry about disciplining him or her. I can send you pictures over the years.”
“So, I get all the benefits and you do all the hard work?” Eva asked. “It sounds more like you want me to carry a living creature in my uterus for nine months, then hand it over for you to claim as your own.”
“Eva, you have to understand why I’m doing this. Luiza won’t give me a baby, and I want my mother to meet her grandchild, before it’s too late.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” she said. “Unless Luiza goes into hiding for nine months, it’s going to be obvious that she isn’t pregnant. You can’t expect the baby not to look like you, which means you can’t claim you adopted it. If you want a biological child, you need to leave your wife. Otherwise, everyone is going to know you’re a cheater. That’s not going to please your parents.”
“It’s not that complicated,” Filipe said. “I’ll get Luiza on board. We’ll tell everyone we adopted it. No one has to know that it’s mine. Lots of parents look like their adopted children. It’s just coincidence.”
“Then why not actually adopt?”
“I want my child to be mine. Surely you can understand that.”
“What kind of world are you going to raise this baby in?” Eva asked. “It’s going to grow up thinking that you and Luiza adopted it from someone who didn’t want it. Are you ever going to explain what really happened? That it has a mother in Brooklyn who gave up the idea of parenthood for a million bucks? That you paid me off? What’s going to happen to your reputation then?”
“I’ll worry about all of those things when the time comes,” he said. “Right now, I want a baby more than anything in this world. And Luiza won’t give it to me.”
“Then you don’t want a baby more than anything in this world,” Eva snapped. “If you did, you would leave Luiza and find a woman who loves you enough to start a family together. This isn’t the way to get what you want. There’s a reason people say money can’t buy everything. You can’t buy this. It’ll come back and bite you later. Your child may never want to see you again when they find out the truth. Don’t pass this off as simple. It’s complicated and messy and twisted, and you know it.”
“So what?” Filipe asked. “Have you ever wanted anything so badly that you would do anything to get it? I’m doing this, whether you agree to be my surrogate or not.”
“Stop calling it surrogacy,” she said. “It’s stealing. And it’s wrong. And I’m not so close to being homeless that I’m willing to stoop that low.”
Eva sighed.
“Two days ago, I thought you were someone I could respect,” she said. “I thought, for once, I had an experience that meant something to both of us. I thought we could walk away happy and everything could be simple. And then you pull this.”
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You’re out of your mind,” Eva said. “This isn’t the answer to your problems, or mine. And I’m not going to help you make your life more difficult and messed-up than it already is. You need to go fix things with your wife, or you need to leave her.”
“Don’t tell me what to do with my life,” Filipe spat, glaring at her. “I don’t need some barista stepping into the picture and telling me how to solve my problems. You don’t even know me.”
Eva shook her head.
“You need help,” she said.
“I think you’ll change your mind,” Filipe said. “A million dollars is a lot of money.”
“Not a chance,” Eva said, standing up. “You’re never going to see me again. I can promise you that.”
“Can I say one more thing?”
“You’ve said more than enough.”
“Eva, listen to me.”
She turned to him, her entire body shaking.
“Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
“I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you,” Filipe said. “But I knew, if I didn’t ask you, if I didn’t at least try, I would regret it. You’re special. So, even if you don’t change your mind, I want you to know that our night meant something to me, too.”
“You’re full of it,” Eva said angrily. “Don’t contact me again. Don’t call me. Don’t email me. Stay away from me.”
“I will,” Filipe said. “But, if you change your mind, you have my email address.”
“I’m not going to change my mind, you psycho!”
Eva grabbed her bag and stormed out of the building. She’d never felt so frustrated and angry in her life—and that included every lost debate, every stupid breakup, and even leaving her parents.
Did he just offer to rent out my uterus?
It was worse than that. He wanted to buy her baby. It was like something out of a bad movie. She couldn’t even begin to think about the implications. She would have to be impregnated one way or another. Who would take care of her during her pregnancy? Would it be anything more to him than a business arrangement?
Enough. You aren’t going to do it, so it doesn’t matter.
But one million dollars was a lot of money, and the thought made her stomach twirl. She’d never have to go crawling back to her parents. She could go back to school for whatever she wanted—no debt necessary. She could take online classes. She could move to another state. She could move to another country. There would be no limits. She could start a new life.
But you’re not doing it.
No. She wasn’t doing it. Eva wasn’t that desperate. Not yet.
To her shock, the chauffeur who’d driven her was waiting outside.
“Ready to go home?”
“No,” she said calmly, though her voice still shook. “I don’t want anything else from Filipe di Benici. Thank you.”
Eva passed the chauffeur and began walking down the sidewalk. She had no idea where she was going, but she didn’t care. She just wanted to get as far away as she could.
She pledged never to set foot in another bar again, especially a bar like Oasis. No more living the high life. She just wanted to live her life. The high life was too complicated and twisted for her to even begin to understand.
Eva found a subway station, swiped her card, and headed home—where strangers didn’t ask for babies.
On the way, she prayed she would never see or hear from Prince Filipe di Benici again.
Chapter Ten
The next week was perhaps the worst of Eva’s life.
It all started with a closing shift at Gustavo’s on Wednesday night. Now that Chris knew her schedule was wide open, he took the liberty of giving her more opens and closes (for experience, he told her).
He’d been training her around seven o’clock in the evening, helping her make drinks for the first time, when things started to go wrong. In the past, she’d only been allowed to work the register. Making drinks was entirely new. She was nervous and vulnerable. It didn’t help that she couldn’t shake Filipe from her mind.
Everywhere she looked, he seemed to be there. That afternoon, her first customer ordered a caramel macchiato in a voice that sounded like Filipe. She knew it wasn’t him, but the thought made her body feel weak. Eva dropped th
e man’s change all over the floor. She was so flustered that she didn’t even offer to help pick it up.
Now, she was running in circles trying to make drinks for the evening rush. Chris talked her through each order, but it wasn’t enough. She made mistake after mistake.
“You’re going to fire me,” she said after her eighth remake. “Aren’t you?”
Chris shook his head and continued to teach. It seemed like nothing could phase him. Even if she poured an entire pot of coffee on his head, he would give her another chance. She wondered if this went beyond a crush. Maybe he was determined to make his new hires last. Upper management would be watching, after all.
Besides, Chris wasn’t flirting. He was completely focused on the craft, giving her tips and tricks to make the job easier. He didn’t ask her out once—nor did he mention the things he knew about her. It was nice. For the first time in a long time, Eva felt like she had a friend.
But she was still a terrible barista. And she was alone.
To her great surprise, Eva found herself longing for Filipe. She pushed the thought away. He didn’t care about her. He just wanted a baby.
“I’m going to run to the restroom,” Chris said. “It looks like things are dying down, at least for a minute. You’re doing great. I’ll be right back.”
Before Eva had a chance to protest, he was gone. She was alone behind the counter. The shop was empty. At first, she waited for someone to come. Then, she took to cleaning the coffee machine, letting her mind wander and ultimately settle on Filipe.
Why couldn’t she get him out of her head? There was clearly something wrong with him. Who asked a stranger—okay, maybe not a stranger, but a woman he barely knew—to have their child? And it was even worse than that. He wanted to keep the baby for himself. What kind of woman would agree to those terms?
A woman who has never wanted children in the first place.
But Filipe didn’t want a woman like that. He already had Luiza.
To be fair, it wasn’t the horrid conversation about buying babies that made Eva think about Filipe. Quite the opposite, it seemed to block any memories she tried to bring to the surface.
Eva thought about Filipe because he was gentle and kind. Despite everything he’d said, his heart was in the right place. He understood her. In fact, he supported her—even though she was a college dropout two months away from being homeless. That didn’t seem normal for a prince, not that she had a frame of reference.
That realization made her miss him desperately. Chris was decent to her. He trained her and accepted her. But Filipe understood her. She wondered if she’d ever find anyone else like that.
But then, whenever she thought about meeting someone new, she remembered the kiss they shared on the balcony of his hotel room. She thought about the way his hand felt against hers, and the way he ran his fingers through her hair.
The thought was almost enough to loosen her resolve, but Eva stood strong. She wasn’t going to endure nine months of pregnancy and a tragic separation just to get closer to a man she couldn’t have.
But maybe he’d fall in love with you.
It didn’t matter. He might fall in love with her, but he would still take the baby and leave. Of that, she was certain. He was stuck in whatever lie of a life he’d created for himself. There was no escaping now. And she knew, even if he offered, that being his permanent mistress wouldn’t be enough. She couldn’t be the woman who waited on a man, especially not while he raised her child.
The whole situation was a complete mess. She didn’t even know if Filipe felt as strongly about her as she felt about him. Sure, they’d had some deep conversations. And yeah, he’d said their night meant something to him. He’d even said that she was special. But she’d heard all of that before. It didn’t mean anything. Not until he actually did something to prove it.
Which he won’t, Eva reminded herself, because you’re never going to see him again.
“Excuse me?”
Her head snapped up. There was a man standing at the counter, ready to order.
Great. Chris leaves me alone for five minutes, and I’m going to blow it.
“Can I help you?” Eva asked.
She recognized the man. He was a regular at Gustavo’s. He liked wearing plaid shirts, black jeans, and designer shoes. Eva thought he was probably a college student. He spent a good portion of his time in the coffeehouse, typing away on his laptop. She guessed he was twenty-four or twenty-five, maybe working on a graduate degree. He was cute—the kind of guy she might have dated in high school, if he’d been nice enough.
“I’d like an espresso,” he said.
Eva smiled, partially for customer service purposes and partially because she was relieved. Espressos were easier to make than any other drink on the menu. Take a shot glass, shove it under the machine, and voila! Done.
“No problem,” she said. “I’ll get that for you right now.”
“Thanks,” the man said.
Eva started the process, trying not to think about Filipe as she went.
Focus on the guy in front of you.
When she handed the espresso over, the man smiled.
“I like your style,” he said.
“What do you mean?” Eva asked, caught off guard.
“The way you dance around back there,” he said. “I think it’s cute.”
Eva was taken aback. She wasn’t aware that she danced while she worked. She was a little loose with her feet, but she wouldn’t call it stylish.
“Thanks,” she said. “That’ll be two dollars, even.”
The man handed her a credit card. She swiped it and passed it back.
“My name is Nick, by the way,” he said. “What’s yours?”
“Eva,” she answered.
“That’s pretty,” he said. “Do you think I could take you out sometime, Eva?”
Normally, Eva would have said no. In fact, she wouldn’t have even considered it. She’d promised never to use her customer base as a dating pool. But she was so desperate to erase Filipe from her mind that she was willing to see just about anyone. She would have said yes to Chris, had he asked again.
“I don’t see why not,” she said, offering a wider smile. “I get off at ten.”
“Know any nice places around here?”
“There’s a pizzeria around the corner,” Eva said. “It’s open late.”
“Nah, I meant a place where we can get some drinks.”
Eva was tempted to tell him about a sleazy bar two blocks away, but she bit her lip. She’d promised herself she’d never set foot in another bar, and she meant it. She couldn’t handle another Filipe. She wasn’t even sure she could handle this guy.
“They have drinks at the pizzeria,” she said. “The only bar in the area sucks, and I have an early morning tomorrow. Besides, I haven’t eaten all day. You wouldn’t have me starve, would you?”
She was trying to be playful, but her voice caught in her throat. Something about Nick made her nervous—and not in a good way.
Nick looked slightly put off, but smiled back all the same.
“Of course not,” he said. “I’ll meet you there. Ten, right?”
“Right,” Eva said.
He took his espresso and left the shop without saying another word. Eva was relieved. She wasn’t sure how long she could keep up the playful banter.
A few seconds later, Chris returned. He was holding two water bottles in his hands.
“Thought you might be thirsty,” he said, passing one over. His voice was strained.
“Parched actually, thanks,” Eva said. She opened the bottle and took a long drink. When she finished, she noticed how pale his face had become.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Chris said, not looking at her. “Who was that guy?”
“That?” Eva asked, gesturing toward the door. “It’s no big deal. He’s a regular.”
“I know he’s a regular,” Chris said. “But who is he?”
�
��Is this a quiz?”
“Did he ask you out?”
Eva didn’t say anything. She had no idea what to say. Chris looked angrier than she’d ever seen him—even more than when he’d caught her former coworker stealing money from the register.
“Did I do something wrong here?” Eva asked. “Is there a policy that says I can’t date customers? If there is, I’ll blow him off. I don’t mind. I wasn’t trying to break any rules.”
“You’re unbelievable,” Chris huffed, turning toward the staff room.
Eva’s heart was racing. Was he jealous that she’d accepted an invitation from someone else? If so, he was overreacting. She would happily have ditched Nick. If he was so upset, why didn’t he just ask her out himself?
He did, nitwit. You said no. About a million times.
But she would have said yes, now.
No. You aren’t interested in him romantically. You’d just hurt him.
Still, she didn’t want to lose Chris as a friend. She needed him now more than ever.
“Chris,” she said. “I can explain.”
“Not here,” he grumbled without turning around. “Not in front of customers.”
“Then talk to me in the staff room.”
“Fine.”
Chris placed a break sign on the counter. The place was beginning to clear out. She doubted anyone would notice.
They retreated to the staff room. Everyone else had gone home, taking their belongings with them. It was oddly empty now.
“All right,” Chris said, shutting the door behind them. “What?”
“I want to understand,” Eva said. “Why are you so upset?”
“Don’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“Start acting helpless,” Chris said. “You do it whenever you want to be let off the hook. But this is your fault. I have every right to be upset.”
“Can you please just tell me why?”
“Are you really this stupid?” Chris asked. “Or do you just want other people to think so?”
“What are you—”
“You know I have feelings for you, Eva,” Chris said. “You’ve known since I hired you. And I tried not to let them get in the way. I even trusted you when you lied to me. Then, when you finally came clean, I did my best to help you. I’m trying to train you and make you more comfortable. And this is how you repay me.”