Black Diamond [Book 2]
Page 18
I thought about Johnny and how things could have been different for us. Maybe if I hadn’t pushed so hard he wouldn’t have spent the rest of his life in jail. At the time, I felt like no one should be abused the way their father abused them. I questioned if it was really my influence that caused him to pull the trigger. Maybe Mica and I wouldn’t have fallen out either. At one time we were the best of friends, playing jump rope, doing each other’s hair, and playing in her mother’s makeup. I missed those times and was sad that one simple push would not only cause me to lose Johnny but her as well. She never forgave me, even though the day I walked in the warehouse and found her tied up, I saved her life. Kemp would have murdered her for sure if I hadn’t talked him out of it. I felt that I owed her—I felt that once I saved her she’d forgive me for ruining her life. At fifteen, I couldn’t possibly know what would happen to her family once her father was killed. She felt the brunt of her mother’s depression and to this day hated me because of it. Yes, I shot her but I don’t think even that angered her more that what happened with Johnny. We never got that friendship back because deep down I know that she never forgave me for what happened to him.
I thought about my mother and how I left her to fend for herself when I met Davey. I still believed that if I’d helped her get out of that neighborhood instead of only worrying about me maybe she would have still be alive. Drugs took control of her and there wasn’t any turning back. What started as depression soon evolved to something much more after my father walked out on us. She leaned on the drugs as a crutch—the crutch that would later kill her. I missed her and I felt like I was cheated out of time with her. There could have been so much more to our relationship but we both let temptations on the outside keep us apart. I was lured by the money and she was lured by the drugs, two different things, but both highly addictive. I felt like I lost a part of me the day that I found out she was gone. I hadn’t even had a chance to say good-bye or kiss her one last time. Drugs robbed me of telling her I loved her.
I thought about my Aunt Cicely and how evil she had been my entire life. I felt bad for the way I treated my grandmother because of things that she said or did to me. She couldn’t control the things that she did and it took me this long to realize that. She was the only grandmother that I’d known and she was always there for me when other people weren’t. I planned to make things better between us even though I was still angry that she didn’t tell me about the funeral, I still didn’t understand how they’d bury my mother and not think I needed to know. How anyone could be so cruel I’d never know. I knew that it wasn’t all her doing and I put most of the blame on Cicely but she didn’t try to reach out to me so that made her just as guilty. I still had to forgive and the situation with Black showed me that it was definitely possible.
I thought about Davey and how my life took a turn for the worse. I let him take advantage of me in ways that damaged me as a woman. I knew that I wouldn’t have made a lot of choices in my life if it weren’t for things that I allowed him to do to me. I loved him with all of my heart and he stomped on it every chance that he had. I was happy that I was finally able to move on and find love in myself.
Kiki, my best friend, had always been there for me regardless of the dumb decisions that I made. I was lucky to have her in my life and she’d always be an important factor. There wasn’t any one like her and that’s what made her special.
I thought of Kemp. He was one of the men that I didn’t give a chance to show his full potential. I went into that relationship in a bad state of mind. Maybe he wasn’t perfect but maybe things could have worked out differently had I given him the chance and loved him the way that he intended on loving me. I was sorry that I took him away from his family and his child. Now that I had my own child and faced death, I know how devastating that must have been. Maybe all of the things that I went through I deserved because of what I did and I’ve accepted that.
I thought about Money and how I fell right into his trap. How could I have been so stupid believing that he really wanted to be with me? I’d been a fool more times than I could count on my hands but I could admit that being with him was one of the biggest mistakes I made in my life.
Then there are my parents. I hated them for years because of what I assumed they should have done. Who’s to say that my life would have been any better if they’d kept me after all? Javan turned out okay but things could have been different for both of us if I would have been there. Maybe leaving me was best and I’d finally come to that conclusion and stopped hating them. I was finally accepting the way things were and loving them for who they are and not the people that they were in the past.
Then there was Black, the man that I loved more than any man that I’d been with my entire life. I hadn’t found a man that loved me the way that he did. When I met him I never would have thought that we would be where we were at that point. We had evolved into a relationship that I’d always dreamed I’d be in but never thought I’d see.
Dior, my beautiful baby girl who’d changed me from the moment she fluttered in my stomach. The old conniving Diamond was an object of the past and I’d matured into a woman and a mother. The path that I took to get where I am today was a long one and it was a rough one. Everyone that I’d encountered in my life had all added to the person that I’ve become. Looking back, if you’d ask me would I take any of it back and my answer would be no. I wouldn’t change a thing because changing one thing in the past would alter the future and my future was with Black and Dior.
Chapter 27
Black
Our Way
“So how does it feel?” Tommy asked, raising his glass to mine.
“It feels good, man, it feels damn good.” I laughed. We were out celebrating because business was back on track. Money was flowing in and the soldiers were all in line. I never thought I’d be enjoying this moment with Tommy. Thinking back, all I could think of was Kemp and how he promised me that I was destined for greatness. I used to feel bad about being with Diamond but now I didn’t. I knew that this was the way that things were supposed to be. I remember sitting with Kemp when he made a million dollars. We were sitting in his living room and we had a bottle of champagne sitting on the table. We were both pretty drunk.
“A million muthafucking dollars, do you believe that shit, nigga?”
“I knew you’d do it, you always said that you would.”
“I sure did and you’re getting to enjoy it with me. Being on top is a wonderful thing and you’ll be here one day.”
“I feel you and I’m happy to witness this shit for real.”
“I’m king of the world, nigga, ain’t that what they say!” He was standing on top of the sofa with a glass in his hand.
“That’s what they say.” I was cracking up. This nigga was drunk as hell and spilling shit all over himself and me.
“On some real shit though,” he said, sitting back down next to me. “When I’m dead and gone, you’re the only nigga that I’d want to have this shit. Even down to my bitch, you can have it all. I mean that shit man, I love you like a brother.”
“I love you like a brother too.”
“Let’s drink to that shit then,” he yelled as he grabbed the bottle off the table and instead of pouring it he toasted my glass with it and drank the rest of it. I laughed that night but I believed that what he said was true. If there was anyone that he wanted to have all that he accomplished when he was gone, that person was me. I felt good knowing that he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Now, I had it all. Everything that was his, even his woman was mine. Tommy looked at me and began waving his hands in front of my face to break my stare.
“Yo’, what the hell are you thinking about, man?” He laughed as I turned to look at him.
“I was just thinking about Kemp and something that he once said to me. He told me that I would have everything that was his when he was dead and gone.”
“What the hell made you think about that?”
&
nbsp; “Because I used to feel bad about being here and I felt like I didn’t deserve it.”
“Man, if anybody deserves it, you do. You deserve it all, even Diamond.”
I looked at him and just nodded my head. At least there was someone on this earth who felt the way that I did. I looked back on my life and the way that things had turned out. I was satisfied with that and I was looking my future in the eye ready to take it head on. Now looking at Tommy and knowing what he’d done for me, I could see how Kemp felt the way that he did back then. I lifted my glass and turned it in Tommy’s direction.
“In the words of Kemp, when I’m dead and gone there’s no one that I’d want to have everything that’s mine. Even my woman or bitch as he’d say,” I laughed. “On some real shit, Tommy, that person is you. When I’m not here it’s all yours and I mean that shit from the heart.” He looked at me as if there was something that he wanted to say. I wasn’t sure what the look was for but he sat silent for a minute or two before he raised his glass to mine, looked at me and said, “That’s real shit, and I’ll handle it with care!”
About the Author
Brittani Williams was born and raised in Philadelphia, PA, where she currently resides with her six year old son. She completed her first manuscript in 2005 which was titled Daddy’s Little Girl. After months of research she found a publishing company that she wanted to submit to. She submitted the manuscript and received a quick response. The last two years have definitely been a blessing for Brittani with the release of Daddy’s Little Girl and tons of great feedback from readers all over. She has had the opportunity to participate in two anthology projects Fantasy (Urban Lifestyle Press) and Flexin’ & Sexin’ (Life Changing Books) with some of the hottest authors in the game. With the release of Sugar Walls, her sophomore novel she had four projects in circulation, all released in the same year. In 2008 she returned even stronger with The Cathouse, a novel that she co-wrote with authors Anna J. and Laurinda D. Brown in June and Black Diamond 2008 with Urban Books. In addition to writing, Brittani is also the owner of Ms. B Graphics—her graphics design company which has been flourishing each day. She is currently working on her fifth and sixth novels and the stage play for Black Diamond.
For more information on Brittani visit her online at:
www.BrittaniWilliams.com
www.myspace.com/msbgw
www.msbgraphix.net
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Black Diamond 2: Nicety ©copyright 2010 Brittani Williams
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without prior consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
ISBN: 978-1-6228-6123-1
This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living, or dead, or to real locales are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents is entirely coincidental.
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