After the Fire (After the Fire: Book the First)

by J. L. Murray

  “I came looking for you,” she said, watching him. “But I got distracted.”

  “Distracted?” said Fin irritably. “What does that mean?”

  “There was a...bird-woman,” said Eleni. She lowered her eyes.

  “What?” he said. He realized she looked exhausted. Her usually pale face was chalky and without color, her hair had come out of its thick braid and hung in curling ropes around her, and her shoulders were hunched. “Eleni, look at me. What's happened?”

  She raised her pale blue eyes to him and for a moment Fin thought he would drown in their sadness.

  “Did you know that someone is watching you?” she said.

  “What?”

  “Over there, in the briars.” She nodded past him to an overgrown thicket. “A mortal, I think. He smells of smoke.”

  Fin turned to look behind him. The bushes rustled as Fin took a step toward them. A figure emerged, popping up so quickly it was almost as if he had appeared there magically. Eleni stepped up next to Fin and he realized she had a ball of flame that she was fiddling with in her hand. It spun like a top, her fingers moving lazily to keep it going, as though playing with a child's ball.

  “Who are you?” said Eleni.

  The figure was wearing a cowled cloak made of a rough, brown fabric, with a band of red sewn around the hem in a pattern that Fin couldn't quite make out. The figure stood very still, face shadowed by a hood that hung low over the person's face. Instead of running, as Fin would have expected any mortal to do, the figure stepped out of the brambles and walked slowly toward the two of them.

  Fin looked at Eleni. She still held the fire in her hand and was regarding the robed figure with mild interest.

  “That is quite far enough,” said Fin. The figure halted and raised hands to lower the hood. An old man stood before them, his dark eyes trained on Eleni. He had a long, grizzled white beard and deep lines that spread from his eyes and cheeks like spiderwebs.

  “You are here for me,” said Eleni. Fin frowned and looked at her. He looked back at the man. He realized that the red that was sewn to the hem of the man's robe was fabric in the shape of flames.

  “It's you,” the man whispered. He was breathing as though he had been running, his breath rasping in the back of his throat in a dull wheeze. “I've found you.”

  “Who are you?” said Eleni.

  “I am Cotiso of the Keepers of the Flame. I am a priest. We have waited many years for your return.”

  “Why?” said Eleni.

  “They are worshipers,” said Fin. “A cult that prays to you and offers sacrifices.”

  “I make fire,” said Eleni. “I cause burning and destruction and despair. Why would you worship a god like that?” Eleni brought a hand to her chest, grimacing. Her fingers sparked.

  “With destruction comes rebirth,” said Cotiso, a small smile on his lips. “There are many that will rejoice at your rebirth.” He bowed his head. “If you will allow me, I will bring them to you.”

  “Many?” said Fin. “How many?” Eleni looked at him quizzically.

  Cotiso did not look away from Eleni. “There are nearly two hundred of us, and our numbers grow with each moon.”

  “Why do they grow?” said Eleni, through clenched teeth. Fin frowned at her, but after a moment she seemed to relax and took her hand from her chest once more.

  Cotiso clasped his hands in front of himself. “The fire, my goddess. The greatest fire that ever was. The fever that burned through the sickness of the world. The stories say that you were displeased with us. Not enough people worshiping you, praising your name. So now they seek us out. Lest you should deem us unworthy again.”

  Eleni shook her head. “But, I–”

  “How right you are,” Fin interrupted. Eleni glared at him. “The reincarnation of Zaric would be most displeased if she is not raised on high.”

  “What are you doing?” said Eleni.

  “You are about to fight a very powerful god,” Fin said out of the corner of his mouth. “The more followers you have, the more powerful you will be.”

  Eleni glared at him, but he ignored her.

  “You must go to them now,” said Fin. “Eleni, the goddess of fire will come to you soon to reward you for your fidelity. Do not bring them here. Dangerous things are afoot. But go now and tell them; tell them that Zaric has risen even more powerful than before.”

  Cotiso's eyes widened as Fin spoke. “Yes, my lord. It shall be so.” He bowed deeply to Eleni. “My Grace. Thank you for your generosity. We will await you.”

  “Where are your people now?” said Fin.

  Cotiso pointed toward the mountains on the western side of the woods. “That way, my lord. A group of twenty followed me to the mountains, but refused to cross with me. They await my return. Our village is not much further. In the Valley of Bones.”

  “How did you know to come here?” said Fin. “Even the gods don't know Eleni is here.”

  “A dream, my lord,” said the man, pulling on his beard. “A raven came to me in a dream and told me to come. My brothers – please forgive them – did not believe me. They said I drank too much wine the night before. So I left in the night and came here.” He looked adoringly at Eleni. “And found a most glorious sight.” He raised his cowl again and his face disappeared. “I will go now, and tell my people. We shall feast in the goddess' name.” He paused and turned toward them. “My apologies, My Grace. What is your new name?”

  “Eleni,” she said through gritted teeth.

  “Eleni of the Fire,” said the old man reverently. “It shall be told.”

  “Will you be all right?” Fin called after him.

  Cotiso bowed as he walked backward. “I have come prepared,” he said. “Nothing can slow me.” He patted a heaping satchel on his hip. “We shall go into the fire smiling.”

  “What?” said Fin.

  “It is what we say. I will see you in this life or in the next.” He turned and disappeared into the trees.

  Fin watched him until he couldn't see him any longer. Then he turned to Eleni. She was staring at him. “Something wrong?”

  “You lied to that man,” she said, her voice cold.

  “I just saved your life,” said Fin. “You felt it, didn't you?”

  “What?” she said, but she instinctively put her hand over her heart.

  “In your chest. A swelling of power when Cotiso saw you. You felt it, I know you did.”

  “What does it matter? You lied to him. He's going to tell his whole village that they have to live to please me.”

  “Don't they?”

  “No,” said Eleni, her voice rising. “They will live and they will die. I have nothing to do with it. What you have done is what everyone has done to me my whole life. You are the same as the men from my village.”

  “It gives them pleasure to worship you,” said Fin. “It makes them feel safe. It gives them answers about why things are the way they are. I don't know what you think we will be fighting out there, Eleni, but if I have to lie to give you power, to keep you alive, then I'll do it. If I have to kill to keep you alive, I'll do it. If I have to...” he stopped, staring at her.

  “What?” said Eleni.

  Fin shook his head, unsure what to say. It hung in the air, what went unsaid, though Eleni was frowning at him, confused. How could he put her in that position? They had only met days ago. And yet he could almost see the words he had not said: If I have to die for you, I'll do it.

  “One man,” said Eleni. “What can one man's faith do? Your lie is so much bigger than the power I could get from him.”

  “He was one man, but he will tell others,” said Fin. “On the other side of that mountain, he has men that have followed you for their entire lives. He will tell them. They will meet passersby, perhaps, if there are any. They will tell them. They will return to their village in a day or two and tell their brethren all about the great fire goddess, Eleni.”

  “We don't have two days,” said Eleni. “We prob
ably don't even have one.”

  “Eleni,” said Fin, “You are going to be more powerful than you know. Loki will cower before you. And I wasn't lying to him. You'll visit his village when this is all over. I'll take you there.”

  She looked away. Fin couldn't tell what she was thinking. Her face was impassive as ever. When she looked back at him she had softened. “Do you think Loki knows where Anja is?”

  Fin frowned. It would be to his benefit to keep the Fates separated. Or perhaps he had been looking for Eleni longer than they knew. “We don't even know if that is Loki,” said Fin. Though even to his own ears his words sounded empty. It was Loki out there, he could feel it.

  “I miss her,” said Eleni, her voice hoarse. She took a step back from Fin and angrily wiped at her face. “Why does it have to be me?” she suddenly said furiously. Her eyes were wet and her shoulders were heaving. “Why couldn't it be someone else that holds the world together?”

  “What are you talking about?” said Fin.

  She shook her head. “It doesn't matter. Things were better when I couldn't feel. When I couldn't feel anything.” She hid her face in her hands.

  “Eleni,” Fin took a step toward her, “it's okay to feel sad for your mother. You miss her. I understand. I'd do anything to be with my family again. They're gone forever, and I can never see them again. But Anja is alive. We'll find her. I promise.”

  “I wasn't talking about my mother,” she said. Her voice sounded flat. Fin reached out to touch her, expecting her to pull away as usual. But she didn't. He touched her wrists to pull her hands away from her face. She looked up at him and his chest hurt. She was so beautiful it hurt him to look at her. She shook her head and her hair fell from her shoulders to swing in front of her in tangled red curls.

  “Nothing can stop you from feeling,” Fin said. He wanted to touch her face, to kiss her eyelids, to lose himself in her, but he couldn't. She was so strong, had been through so much, but she was also more fragile than anyone he had ever met. He didn't want to take advantage of her when she was obviously verging on tears. She had been torn from her mother so young, and then completely abandoned. The Fates were cruel, to be sure, but Fin thought that something else was happening. Anja had been protecting Eleni. But why? And how?

  Eleni pulled her hands from his and wiped her face. She had become stony and impassive again. Fin had lost her again. It was like a mask she put on.

  “We should go back,” said Eleni.

  Fin sighed. “Yes.”

  They started walking back toward the encampment, Eleni slightly ahead of Fin. She turned to look at him as though examining him. “Are you really angry that Magda called the gods?”

  Fin smiled ruefully. “I apologize for that. I had a moment of weakness. I wanted revenge for my family. I wasn't thinking logically. I only thought of how it would be to kill the bastards that wiped out my loved ones.”

  Eleni was quiet for a long while and turned back to her walking. Finally she turned back to him. “I can understand that. Wanting to kill the person responsible for hurting the people you love. I would want to kill them too.”

  “Thank you,” said Fin, not sure what he should say to that. “But sometimes you have to step back and realize you can't do what you want without dying.”

  “Sometimes,” said Eleni, “doing what you want is worth dying for.”

  Fin smiled. “I suppose that's true, too.”

  They walked in silence for a long time, the only sound the crunching of Fin's boots on the snow, and, just barely audible, the muffled hiss that Eleni's bare feet made against the cold. Fin watched the sway of her hair, the swing of her hips, the easy way she let her arms swing as she walked. She was at home in the forest, much more so than the way she was around people. In the encampment, she was withdrawn, as though she did not consider herself part of things. She had a way with the children, but Fin had never even seen her speak to any of the women, and only spoke to the men when she had to. But out here, she was a different person. She was more at ease and would talk to him when they were in the forest. Fin realized that she was not as guarded out here. If he had met her in the encampment, he doubted she would have ever even spoken to him or given him a further thought.

  Fin smiled to himself. He was glad he had gone back for her. It had been hard not to walk into that village that had been so cruel and wipe every last one of them out. He had respected Eleni's wishes, but Magda hadn't. Perhaps the old woman did know what she was doing. There was a grim justice to what had happened to the men. But the women and children, they had been innocent, or close to it. Fin winced at the thought of the Reivers tearing them apart. It was all so barbaric. Fin would have just made them disappear. Like they never were. The village, the people, the metal box. Everything. Replaced it with forest. It was an abuse of his power, but he had done it before. He wished dearly that it were that simple with Loki. It only worked on humans. And Loki and his cohorts were definitely not human. A god and two...what? Everything he knew about Skoll and Hati would fit into a thimble: They were the children of Fenrir, the wolf god, and Fenrir was the son of Loki. So it was a family affair. Fin frowned. He didn't like to think about family these days. Even talking to Eleni about her mother gave him a cold hollow feeling in his guts.

  “Stop,” Eleni said, halting suddenly. Fin almost ran right into her.

  “What is it?” he said, feeling slightly guilty for getting lost in his thoughts. But even as he said the words, he could feel it too.

  “I don't know,” said Eleni. “It feels familiar. What is that?” She frowned into the trees. Fin could see shadows moving far away. Moving toward camp.

  “Gods,” said Fin. “That's what you feel. Are you ready to meet your family? Your old family, I mean.”

  “Are you my family, too?” said Eleni.

  Fin laughed. “Thankfully, no. I come from a different family of gods.”

  “How did they know to come?” said Eleni. “Magda said she sent for them, but I didn't see her leave. And she's too old to get very far.”

  “Don't underestimate that old crone,” said Fin. “And she does have some power left. That white crow isn't the only thing she can wriggle her mind into. You remember the old man said he dreamed you would be here?”

  “Yes.”

  “That was Magda. She must have done it before you even came to the Reiver camp, when I was still trying to get you to leave your village. Crafty one, she is. I haven't seen many of her black ravens around today. She probably sent them out to carry messages.”

  “They got a message and just hurried over?” said Eleni.

  “Or she just got into their heads and told them to come. Gods still fear the Fates, even if they're not powerful right now. We know that eventually they'll be Three again.”

  “And then they'll be powerful?”

  “More than powerful,” Fin said gravely. “They're the force of the universe.”

  “It isn't easy to think of Magda that way.” Eleni frowned. “Or Anja. They just seem like themselves.”

  “So do we all,” said Fin. “Until the time comes to use our power. And then we are many things. Beautiful sometimes. Dangerous too. And some of us are unstoppable. But then we do stop eventually, and go back to being friends, enemies, lovers. Creatures of habit. And wait for the next time we're needed.”

  “You make it sound like a gift,” said Eleni.

  “Oh, it's a gift to have power, to be sure,” said Fin. “And also a curse.”

  “Do you ever wish you could be normal? Mortal?”

  “I used to. When I was younger. There was a woman. A human. We were in love. I wanted to marry her, but gods and humans are not meant to be together. I watched her wither away until she was naught but dust. I wanted to be mortal, to be with her.”

  “Do you still?”

  Fin hesitated. “No,” he said after a time. He didn't say any more, and Eleni didn't ask. After a moment, they simultaneously began to walk toward camp. It was time.

  Chap
ter Fifteen

  Magda pulled the tent flap closed behind her, ignoring a pain in her shoulder as she did so. She hated feeling old. She rubbed at the ache, but it went deeper than her fingers could prod. She sighed and walked stiffly to the cot. She took care to sit down very slowly so as not to fall, leaning heavily on her walking stick. She didn't know what this slow transformation had done to her bones, and she was too weak to heal herself should she break one. She lay her stick on the ground and pulled a quilt around her shoulders.

  She could hear their voices outside, the excited voices of the Reiver men, and new voices too. Most of the earthly gods had obeyed her call. They had not forgotten that she once wielded great power, and they knew she would have it again. They came out of fear. When Magda was united with her sisters, no god could equal their power. It would be foolish not to come. But now she couldn't dwell on small victories. She had to focus.

  She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly, balling up what little energy she had left. She let herself drop and felt a sudden lightness. She was free of her aging body. She felt for the line that connected her to Mati, the white raven. She didn't control the extraordinary animal, but could instruct it when necessary. She saw a pinpoint of light in front of her and she moved toward it, floating bodiless through the void. The pinpoint became bigger, opening up like the bud of a flower. Magda reached for it and suddenly it wasn't a point of light, it was everything.

  She blinked as she eased into Mati's head. She looked around, her vision strange. It was always odd coming into an animal's head. Mati had also obeyed her wishes. She was perched atop a great iron wall. From what Fin had told her, Magda knew this to be Eleni's old village.

  Magda felt a sense of satisfaction that the Reivers had wiped out the village of Krasna. They must have known who Eleni was. They had tried to break her. But it took more than metal and harsh words to break a god as powerful as Zaric. Eleni had far more power than she yet knew. She was wasted here, just as Magda was wasted with the Reivers. But these dark times were temporary.

  Magda looked around the empty village. Most of it had been burned by the looks of it. If Magda had lips to control she would have smiled. That was as it should be. Eleni should be feared. She was puzzled why Anja had stayed with her so long. That was unusual. You did not bond with the god you carried. You were a vessel. Magda herself had done it once, not far from here. A sun god, she recalled. But she had left the girl-child with some villagers far to the north. Gods should not be raised by Fates. It just was not the way.