By the time he made it to his bedroom, he was so focused on ignoring every sound, sight, and feeling that he almost missed her exhaling the word, “Wow.”
“That’s a big bed.” Her eyes were huge as he passed his solid wood four-post California King-sized bed.
“I’m a big boy,” he teased and immediately regretted it.
She’d been right. He had been pushing her, trying to get a reaction out of her and it wasn’t fair. He’d been selfish, only thinking about what he wanted. He wanted to know that she still felt something. He wanted to show her how much she meant to him. He wanted to leave no doubt in her mind that what they’d had was real. But he’d never given a single moment’s pause to think about what she wanted.
That ended tonight.
Her body trembled in his arms, and he didn’t waste any time. He stepped into the bathroom and set her down on the memory foam mat that covered the tile in front of his shower. After opening the glass door, he turned the water on hot. Then he went back into his bedroom, crossed to his dresser and pulled out one of his Hope Falls Fire Department T-shirts and sweats.
When he walked back into the bathroom, he found that Kenzie hadn’t moved from where he’d left her. She was standing slack-jawed in front of his shower. “How many people can you fit in here?”
His shower was oversized with a waterfall showerhead directly in the middle. When he’d bought the house he’d torn out the master bath first, and it had taken him about three months to renovate.
“I’m not sure. I’ve never had a shower party,” he said as he grabbed clean towels from the linen closet that sat beside the sink.
“Maybe you should,” she said, still looking at it with wonder and awe.
The only person he’d invite to it was already there. Visions of what that party would look like filled his head. He pictured water dripping down her naked body. That line of thinking would only lead to a severe case of blue balls, so he forced himself to erase those images from his mind.
He moved toward the door, not looking at her as he left. “There are towels and clothes for you to change into. I’ll be back soon.”
“Eli,” she called after him.
He stopped in the doorway and let his head fall back slightly before turning on his heels to face her.
“Thank you,” she said earnestly.
Kenzie had always thanked him for things that she didn’t need to. Whether he was looking out for Kenny, making sure her brother was okay or keeping his window open so she could climb in if she’d had a nightmare or giving her his sweatshirt so she wouldn’t be cold.
She was always so surprised when he took care of her. What she never understood, no matter how many times he’d explained it to her, was that taking care of her felt as natural to him as breathing. In fact, now that he knew she’d be staying here tonight, he felt like he could take a full breath for the first time since the day he’d had to give her up
“You don’t have to thank me,” he told her the same thing he’d always told her. He hadn’t meant to say it, it had just come out.
The smile that her lips turned up in made his heart ache with its sincerity. But when he saw her shiver, he ordered, “Shower. Now. I’ll be back.”
Lifting her hand, she saluted him. “Yes sir, Captain Bossy.”
He was stunned at her use of the nickname but tried not to let it show as he grinned and rushed out.
Hearing her use that nickname nearly knocked the wind right out of him. It was something that he’d never thought he’d hear again. Before he even made it to his porch, he was blinking back the liquid that was filling his eyes.
The crisp night air hit his face as he crossed to the cottage. His mind was flashing back to the last time she’d saluted him and called him her pet name. It was the last night they’d spent together. She was going home to pack so that they could elope the next day. He’d reminded her to pack her antibiotics because she’d just gotten over a severe ear infection.
She’d jumped down from his tree, looked up at him and saluted. “Yes sir, Captain Bossy.” Those were the last words she’d said to him until he’d seen her again in Vegas.
He pushed all of that out of his mind as he made quick work of sweeping out as much water as he could. He put down towels to soak the excess moisture up and put in two calls to Jay. Neither were answered. His clean up took longer than he’d expected due to the amount of water that had already pooled. Not to mention the detour he took when the couple staying in Cabin A came over and asked if he could fix the pipe that was leaking under their sink. As much as he’d wanted to tell them that wasn’t his responsibility, he couldn’t. They were nice people just trying to enjoy their vacation, and the drip that had been driving them crazy was now concerning them after they’d seen him working on the other cabin. So he’d taken care of it.
Eli knew that this couldn’t keep going on. He needed to have a serious talk with Jay, and he might even need to look into moving. As much as he loved his house, he couldn’t keep doing this. Jay owned the cabins but Eli owned the land, he didn’t want to take the income away from the guy, but if he didn’t start taking care of them he’d have no choice.
After taking care of the cottage, the Wilson’s pipe leak, and collecting Kenzie’s things, he finally headed back to his cabin. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been gone, but it had to be at least an hour. When he opened the front door, he wasn’t sure what he expected to find, but what he did stopped him up short.
Kenzie was curled up in the corner of his couch, sound asleep. Her blonde hair was fanned out behind her, and her dark lashes rested gently on her creamy cheeks. He couldn’t count the number of nights he’d watched her sleeping next to him. It wasn’t in a creeper or Aerosmith “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” way; it was just that once he hit a certain age, every time she slid into bed next to him, he’d pop a boner. His sleepless nights spent staring at her had been born out of discomfort.
But tonight his desire to sit beside her and watch her sleep definitely bordered between Aerosmith and creepy. He shook his head and walked softly across the hardwood floors, careful not to wake her. Reaching down, he easily scooped her into his arms. A soft mewing noise sounded from the back of her throat as she nuzzled into him.
Halfway down the hall, her eyes fluttered open. “Eli?”
“Yeah. It’s me. I’m here.”
“Where am I?”
“In my house.”
The light was dim as he entered his room. The only illumination came from the moonlight shining through the slits of his plantation shutters. Using extra care, he pulled back his comforter before lowering her down. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she turned and snuggled into it. He grinned as he covered her up.
“Good night, angel,” he whispered as he reached down and brushed soft strands of hair off her forehead.
As hard as it was to leave her, he forced himself to do just that.
“Where are you going?” her sleepy voice stopped him before he made it out the door.
He turned back and saw that she was looking at him through heavy lids.
“I’m going to be on the couch. I’ll be right out front if you need me.”
Her lids closed again as she whispered, “I need you.”
At least that’s what he thought she whispered but as he took a step closer to her, he heard her snoring softly.
He exhaled as he headed out to spend what he knew would be yet another sleepless night. On the couch.
Chapter 12
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Air flooded into Mackenzie’s lungs in a desperate gasp as she sat upright in the dark. Her eyes opened wide, and they darted back and forth as they struggled to see.
She couldn’t figure out where she was. All she knew was that her heart was beating a million miles a minute.
As she struggled to bring her breathing and heart rate under control, pieces of reality started filtering into her mind, replacing the flashes of the nightmare that still clung to her consciousness.
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Where was she? At Eli’s house. Specifically? In Eli’s bed. Where was he? Out on the couch.
As her brain was able to answer each question with a concrete detail, she felt a calm descend over her body.
The residual effect of the night terror still held on, though, as well as the overriding sense of dread that had followed her from the dream state into wakefulness.
Just then Eli’s voice traveled the distance of the room, hitting her ears and bringing her the last little bit of calm that she’d been searching for.
“Kenzie? Are you okay?”
Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she saw him standing in the doorway of his bedroom. He was shirtless and wearing sweats, just like when he’d opened the door the first night she’d shown up.
She cleared her throat and responded, “Bad dream.”
That was all she could manage to croak out in her raspy voice.
She’d said it as a shorthand way of telling him it was no big deal. There was no real danger.
However, that wasn’t the way he took it. In a flash, he was across the room and sitting next to her on the bed, he wrapped his arms around her as he stroked her hair and down her back.
“You’re still having those?” he murmured, and she felt the vibration through his chest.
“They just started again.” She closed her eyes and melted against his strength, accepting without question the peace that only his touch and only his words had ever brought. It was like a time machine, transporting her back to a time before they’d become complicated. Back to a time when he’d just been her everything and nothing else.
Heat spread through her as he rubbed her back. At first, it was the warmth of safety and comfort, reminding her that she was no longer in the frightening, surreal world of terror.
Before long, however, the tingle in her belly took on a sharper edge. It caused her breath to race and grow increasingly shallow.
Just like her breath, his touch started to affect her heartbeat. When he’d first wrapped her up in his arms, serenity had descended over her in a marshmallow haze, her heart had slowed to a manageable thump-thump, thump-thump rhythm. Now that his touch was heating her up like he had lava in his fingertips, her heart started beating at a hummingbird pace that more closely resembled a th-th-th-th-th-th-ump.
His breaths mirrored hers and the energy flowing between them shifted. It was slight, but it was everything.
She pulled her head back from where it had been buried in his shoulder and looked into his face. She could barely make out his features in the small sliver of brightness that made its way through the blinds, but she did see a hungry glint in his eye that had nothing to do with the moonlight.
“Kenzie.” Eli’s voice held a gravelly quality, setting off fireworks in her core that exploded through her entire being.
At that moment, she knew that whatever the consequences may be, she wanted him. She wanted to be with him again. She didn’t want to think about the past. She had no desire to worry about the future. She wanted the present. The now.
Mackenzie had been in denial about the two of them, but even she couldn’t deny this any longer—it was inevitable.
Besides, she reasoned, this was the one thing she’d never had. Closure. One last time. Goodbye sex.
In the back of her mind, she knew that might be grasping at straws, but she didn’t care. If there was a straw there for her to grasp at, she was going to grab it and hold on with both hands, because she needed this.
“Eli, I want…No, I need one night. With you. Nothing more. Just this. Just you and me. I don’t want to think. I just want to feel. Please, just make me feel.” Maybe at a later date and time, she would feel embarrassed that she’d begged, but she’d deal with that then. Right now she wanted to take comfort any way she could get it.
Eli leaned back, his voice desperate and rough when he asked, “Are you sure? Are you really sure?”
She was surprised she didn’t get whiplash from the speed at which she nodded.
Immediately, he dipped his head and pressed his lips to her neck. She’d expected him to kiss her mouth, but that was the thing about Eli, he never did what she expected, he did more. He took his time kissing his way passionately down her neck to the spot that had always sent her into another atmosphere, the spot no other man had ever found. Feeling his lips touch her skin, feeling the mastery that he still had over her body cemented the fact that she was doing the right thing and sent a delicious shudder rolling from her head to her feet and back up again.
A moan escaped from the back of her throat. It had been so long since she’d felt that heavenly heat. Then, just when she was lulled into the ecstasy that he was taking her to, his mouth moved up and claimed hers and the moment that they were lip to lip, something broke open in her. That incredible pressure of his mouth moving over hers, devouring her with an urgency that mirrored her own had her entire body trembling with unreleased need. Her hands grasped at his back in desperation and his muscles flexed beneath her touch.
His touch, his kiss, his body felt new again, but at the same time so familiar and so right. “Please,” she begged again.
In one smooth, swift motion Eli broke their kiss and whipped off the T-shirt she was wearing with a speed that made her head spin. She tried to catch her breath as her hair tumbled back down over her shoulders. She hadn’t even thought about the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra or underwear, but as his hungry gaze devoured her, she grew very aware of her nakedness.
She made herself still, giving him time to drink her in with his eyes. She’d always loved the way that he looked at her. Even as an insecure teen, she’d never felt shy around Eli. He’d always looked at her with such awe and wonder that there was no room for any self-doubt.
She smiled at the dumbstruck look on his face as his eyes raked over her breasts. “Touch me,” she whispered.
He looked up to meet her eyes, and she saw the raw vulnerability there.
“I’m scared to,” he admitted with a grin as he lifted a shaking hand. His voice was teasing, but there was a hint of heartbreaking seriousness behind it. “I’m scared that if I do, my hand will go right through you. I’m scared that this is just a dream and if I move I’ll wake up, and it’ll be over. That you’ll be gone.”
Everything inside her urged her to cry, I’m here, and I’m never leaving! Her throat tightened with the effort to hold back the exclamation. It would’ve been so sweet to give in to that temptation, to tell him that this was real and that she was never leaving. But she knew that wasn’t a promise she could be sure that she could keep. There was too much between them left unanswered, too much still left unsaid.
So, she responded in the only way she could think of. She moved closer to him, lifting her leg and straddling him as her arms snaked around his neck, pulling him close to her. It was intoxicating, the heat of his bare chest against her breasts. She felt her nipples harden against his steel-strong pecs.
Mackenzie felt the rumble in her body when he groaned, and his hands found her hips. She realized how much she’d missed being pressed up against him late at night, in the dark. How much she’d missed the feel of his arms and his skin. And his hair, his breath, his heartbeat, and his musky, masculine scent.
There’d been times in her life where just the thought of his smell made her lightheaded, and now she was actually here, pressed up against him, free to breathe him in to her heart’s content. It was almost too good to be true.
She turned her head so that her mouth was against his ear. Her tongue slipped out and flicked the lobe of his ear before sucking it in between her lips. His fingers flexed into her hips as she did. His chest rose and fell against hers, and she could feel the steel-hard mass of his erection pressing against the heat of her core. The only thing separating their bodies was the cotton of his sweats
Rolling her hips against his steel shaft, she tangled her hands in his hair as she pressed feather-light kisses the rest of the way up to his ear. When she had re
ached the top, she whispered, “I’m real. This isn’t a dream.”
“Fuck,” he rasped.
“Yes, please,” she breathed.
Eli pulled his head back and then crushed his lips to hers, entering her mouth with his demanding tongue, exploring every inch of its hot, wet recesses. She groaned immediately, the fire that his kiss ignited in her belly sent flames shooting through her.
She knew it could burn her up entirely if she weren’t careful, but at that moment, she didn’t care.
As his lips moved with increasing desperation against hers, he managed to grunt out, “I need you. Right now. More than I’ve ever needed anything in my entire life.”
With that, he planted his strong hands firmly on her shoulders and pushed her back on the bed, her head softly landing among the nest of pillows that rested there. Her arms shot up above her head and pressed against the headrest. Using the leverage she found there she arched as his tongue trailed a hot, wet path down her neck and her chest.
At the same time, his fingers traced flickering curlicues from her waist all the way along her belly. The movements sent tingles skittering off across the skin of her stomach, and that tingle spread rapidly through the rest of her body. They raced up and down her limbs, through her back, up and down her spine and back again. They were like zipping flickers of light in the dark, as soon as she thought she had a hold of one, it would zip away again.
There was only one place in her body that the electric sensations sped to and stayed, collecting and pooling in a deep well of arousal, and that was deep in her belly, down between her legs. There, the sensations were so intense that she almost felt like she was made of electricity, instead of it only zapping through her.
Between Eli’s tongue and his fingertips, she felt like he was touching every part of her at once. Every single cell in her body was acutely aware of his touch. She felt utterly enveloped by him. The gentle yet firm pressure from his hands, the demanding heat of his tongue—both of them moving inexorably closer to her rapidly hardening nipples—it all combined to create the illusion that Eli’s touch was everywhere.
Fire and Love (Hope Falls Book 13) Page 11