The Anchor

by B. N. Toler

  I can’t help smiling. She rarely curses, and I’ve never heard her threaten to go after someone. That’s usually my role in the friendship. “If he acts like a dick, promise you’ll kick him in the balls.”

  Edie takes one hand and swipes it across her chest, crossing her heart. “He won’t walk or screw for months.”

  Taking a deep breath, and putting my nonsense aside, I stand and pull her to her feet. Today is about her; not me. “You need to get dressed.”

  A few days ago, Edie went with me to my first appointment. No one told me they were going to shove a miniature baseball bat inside me. That wasn’t pleasant. But we saw the tiny little being growing inside me. My baby. My future.

  Edie gushed as we listened to the heartbeat, but all I could do was stare numbly at the screen. I kept waiting for that moment to hit me, the one all women talk about when they see the image of their unborn child. The excitement and pure joy. But it never came. I hated myself in that moment. I hated that I couldn’t find the silver lining in all of this. Yes, my dreams are gone, but I am having a baby. So many people want a baby and can’t have one. I should be thanking God. But all I can see is my dreams dissipating and a beautiful child looking for me to love it in a way I’m not sure I can. This kid deserves everything that is wonderful, but what if I can’t give it that? What if I can’t hold it and kiss it like a good mother should? I never had that . . . kind of nurturing growing up. With a mother that bailed early on and my aloof father gone a lot, I was stuck with nannies that were never affectionate. They were there solely to make sure my basic needs were met; eating, cleaning, school, etc.

  Deep down, I do like the novelty of having a baby. I’ve imagined it in some far-off it-will-never-happen way because I wouldn’t know how to love a kid. But in that tiny dream, I’m married and have the white picket fence deal.

  “How do I look?” Edie asks as she steps out of the bathroom. I shake away my thoughts and smile. I won’t let my pity party ruin her day. She looks amazing, wearing a fitted, cream dress that fits her form perfectly, but flares at the waist.

  My eyes tear up and I wipe at them quickly. My best friend, the person that means more to me than anyone in this world, is getting married. And in spite of my own problems, I’m truly happy for her. If anyone in this world deserves happiness, it’s Edie James.

  “Are you crying?” Edie gasps as she rushes back in the bathroom and hurries back with tissues. “Do I look that bad?” she jokes.

  “Fucking pregnancy hormones,” I complain as I dab my face with the tissues she’s brought me. “I fell asleep on the couch last night watching Braveheart and when I woke up the last five minutes of The Iron Giant was on and I sobbed.”

  “The Iron Giant?” she questions.

  “It’s a goddamn cartoon movie and I fucking cried over it.”

  Edie chuckles as she stands up straight and places her hands on her narrow hips. “I cry all the time,” she confesses with a shrug. “I love books and movies that make me cry. I think it’s cleansing for the soul. Suit isn’t a fan though.”

  “I’m sorry.” I stand and hug her tightly. “Edie,” I say, as I step back and look her over. “You’re breathtaking.” She gives a tight smile and nods. She’s getting emotional, too. I need to keep her happy. This is her day. She shouldn’t be crying.

  “Now, I know this is your party, but I hope you and John can refrain from banging in closets, or anywhere for that matter, while this shindig goes on.”

  Edie’s cheeks turn pink and she grins as she rolls her eyes. “You will never let me forget about the cleaning closet, will you?”

  I chuckle. “No. Never. Definitely not.”

  “Damn.”

  “Are you at least wearing panties tonight?”

  “Shut up, Nikki,” she laughs as she grabs her earrings off her nightstand and proceeds to quickly put them on.

  “Well, are you?”

  “Yes!” she snorts. “Oh my God, I hate you.” My mission is accomplished. She’s laughing, just as it should be on her special day. Following her out into the hall, I shut her bedroom door behind me.

  “Pull that dress up. I want to see. I think I have the responsibility as your best friend to make sure everything stays PG-rated tonight.”

  Edie purses her lips as she glances at me over her shoulder, before flashing me her ass. She’s wearing a G-string. “Happy now?” she laughs as she pulls her dress back down. I can’t answer her. I’m keeled over lost in a fit of laughter myself.

  “Can you do that again?” a deep voice asks and we both snap our heads to the bedroom door. John is standing in the doorway of the guest room down the hall, his dark eyes fixated on Edie.

  “Flash her ass?” I ask through my fading chuckles.

  “Yeah,” John confirms. “Nikki, could you excuse us?” he asks as he steps toward us.

  “No way, Suit.” Edie pulls me in front of her. “We don’t have time for that. Our guests are arriving.”

  “Oh, baby,” John growls as he lets out something somewhere between a groan and haughty laughter. “I’ll be real quick. I promise.” John reaches a hand around me and grabs her arm, but Edie plasters her body to mine.

  “Nikki, stop him!” Edie squeals.

  “What the fuck do you want me to do?” I’m sandwiched between them, stiff, as they shove me from side to side.

  “Is this where the party’s at?” another deep voice calls. My heart squeezes as my gaze moves to the bathroom door and I see Parker Hayes with a bright smile on his face as he watches John and Edie scrabble around me. His hair is loose and shaggy and wet. My mouth goes dry. Drops of water cling for dear life against his tight chest. He’s definitely more muscular than the last time I saw him. My eyes linger lower and find he’s wearing only a white towel. His gaze meets mine as my eyes roam up his body and back to his face. His mouth curves slightly. He knows I’m checking him out.

  Snapping myself out of staring at him, I say, “Little help here. Your horny friend won’t leave my girl alone.”

  “That girl is my fiancée,” John clarifies, “and I’ll leave her alone if she’ll just give me five minutes alone.” John stops pawing at her and steps back, fixing his tie. “Come on, baby,” he purrs softly as he gazes at Edie who is peeking over my shoulder. “Let me take the edge off. For both of us. I know you want it, too. You look so fucking good in that dress, Edie. If I don’t have you now, I’ll be thinking about it all night and I’ll act like a dick to everyone and that can’t happen.”

  Stepping aside, I look at her and shrug, letting her know he’s right. This party, while meant to celebrate their engagement, is also a way for John to meet more of the townsfolk. He’s new here and trying to take over Carl Wayward’s clients. He needs to make face.

  Edie bites her lip as she looks at him then back to me. She wants him, too. “Could you guys give us a few minutes?”

  “Good to see you, Edie,” Parker laughs as he steps back, waiting for me.

  “You too, Parker. Can’t wait to chat with you,” she squeals as John picks her up and tosses her over his shoulder.

  “Let everyone know we’ll be out soon,” John calls as he carries Edie into the master bedroom. Edie giggles as the door slams shut.

  “It was like we weren’t even here,” Parker laughs.

  “Yeah, they can be that way sometimes.” Turning to him, I force my gaze to his. “How are you?”

  Placing his hands casually at his sides, he steps toward me. “I’m good. It’s nice to see you again. You look . . . beautiful.”

  “It’s nice to see you, too,” I say. I know I need to tell him about the baby while he’s here, but how? I’ve been so worried about telling him, I forgot to worry about the effect he has on me. It almost seems like a natural instinct, I want to hug him, touch him, hell, even kiss him. When I left New York after our night together, I refused to speak with him outside of our two friends. I didn’t want to be close to him. I wanted that one incredible night to remain that way. But now . .
. there’s a baby. There’s a life growing inside of me that he and I made together. But if I’m being honest . . . it’s more than that. Parker Hayes . . . affects me. It’s more than his awesome body and his incredible scent that makes me want to jump on him, or his sexy smile. He looks at me like he sees inside of me.

  These thoughts have turned over and over in my head. I’ve had to remind myself that my desire for him may have to do with how scared and alone I feel. I don’t want to force him into my life or our child’s life. I’m going to tell him about the baby because it’s the right thing to do, but I have absolutely no expectations of him.

  “I think we need to talk,” I tell him.

  His mouth quirks on one side and he drops his head. When he raises it again, he says, “You don’t have to tell me, Nikki. I already know.”

  My heart drops to the floor like a thousand-pound weight. He knows? Did Edie and John tell him? Edie swore she wouldn’t tell John until after the engagement party.

  “Look. That weekend . . . was incredible. And I get it.” He lets out a snort. “I mean, clearly you’re not into me at all.” He runs a hand through his shaggy hair. “I won’t harass you anymore. I just . . . thought I felt a connection,” he chuckles. “I sound like such a pussy right now. I guess I thought you were as into me as I was into you.”

  Was? My insides wither.

  “So I’m sorry I’ve . . . pursued you all this time. Clearly, that’s not what you want.”

  “Parker, I . . .”

  “Hey.” He leans in and kisses my cheek, his skin smooth against mine. He must’ve just shaved. “I just wanted you to know I’m past it. But can we still be friends? Since our best friends are getting married, I hope so.”

  “Of course,” I manage after a beat. “But Parker . . . I do need to talk to you.”

  “About what?”

  “Well, maybe after the party—”

  “Nikki,” John calls as he steps out of their bedroom, fixing his tie.

  “Done already?” Parker laughs. “Did you even penetrate her before you busted a nut?”

  “Barely,” John grumbles, half smiling as he runs a hand through his hair. “Told you I only needed five minutes.”

  “Or less than one,” Parker adds.

  “Nikki, Edie asked me to send you in. She needs . . . help,” John says, ignoring Parker.

  “Yeah, sure.” I give Parker a small smile and hurry into the bedroom. How in the hell am I going to tell Parker I’m having his baby? He said he’s past it . . . meaning he’s over me, or the idea of us. That’s good news . . . I think. I don’t want to be with him . . . do I?

  After I suit up, I head out to the back field where a giant tent is set up. Inside there are maybe two hundred people, dancing, eating, or sitting at tables chatting. I’m surprised by the amount of guests. They really must have invited the whole town. I catch a glimpse of John by the bar and head over.

  “Beer?” he asks when he sees me.

  “Yeah, thanks.” The bartender, a good-looking blond with perky breasts, brings me a beer and gives me a wink as she slides it to me. I glance at John and he shakes his head, saying, Don’t go there. I nod and we both turn to the crowd. “How’s it going so far?”

  “Eh . . . I’m going to finish this beer and make my rounds.” Just then, Edie and Nikki enter the tent. Edie glances at John and blushes. When I look to him he’s smiling—he is so pussy-whipped. Suddenly, a tall, thin guy approaches and pulls both Nikki and Edie in for a hug.

  “Who’s that?”

  “Joey. He works here on the farm. He and Edie are tight . . . almost family. He doesn’t like me very much.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I was fucking his almost-sister before we were an actual couple.”

  “Ah, I see. The overprotective almost-bro.” As soon as Joey releases the girls, another guy, about my size and build, with dark hair, scoops Edie up and spins her in his arms. She’s using one hand to hold her dress under her ass so she doesn’t flash anyone and the other she’s using to try and free herself from the guy.

  “And who is—” Before I finish the sentence, John walks off heading toward them, his shoulders pulled back, fists clenched at his sides. “Aw, shit.” I chug my beer before leaving it on the bar and dart after him. I’m guessing he’s not a fan of this guy.

  “Put her the fuck down, Dierk,” John growls. The guy rolls his eyes, but gently places Edie on her feet. Edie immediately rushes to John, more to calm him than anything judging by the way she’s kind of pushing at him.

  “Chill, John. I was just saying hi to my girl,” the guy snorts. Now that I’m close-up, I recognize the guy. Before John came back to Holly Springs, Nikki had posted a picture of Edie kissing this guy. My guess was Nikki did it on purpose to make John jealous as I had been friend requesting her on Facebook for over a month and she’d only accepted my request that very day. I have to say, it worked. John flew back that night and proposed.

  “She’s not your girl,” John growled. “And you can say hi without touching my fiancée.” John sidesteps Edie as he steps toward Dierk.

  “Suit,” Edie says, quietly, as her eyes dart around, checking to see if they’ve captured the attention of other guests.

  “Don’t be a dick, dude,” Dierk slurs a little. Obviously he’s already had a few.

  John steps further toward him and the skinny guy, Joey, steps between him and Dierk. Joey pushes John back, gently, while speaking in his ear. The muscles in John’s jaw tic as he nods once and glances back at Edie.

  “Baby, I need a drink. Will you come with me to get one?” Edie asks as she squeezes his arm from behind him. John takes a deep breath, but turns back to Dierk. “You’re here because you’ve been friends with my fiancée for a long time. And I respect that friendship. Edie is special to me. And if you try anything on her . . . mess with her . . . you’ll have me to deal with.” The way John says it, it feels like there’s another meaning . . . or something more to it.

  And judging by the way Dierk snorts and gives John a smirk, Dierk knows it. Not sure what he thinks is so funny. I’m about ready to beat this guy’s ass, myself. But John only smirks back at him, giving him a look that says, Try me, dick. You’ll be sorry.

  “Dierk, come dance with me,” Nikki intervenes as she grabs his arm and pulls. My eyes snap to her as she manages to get his attention. He gives her some kind of smirk . . . maybe he’s trying to be sexy, but he looks like an ass to me. When she gets him on the dance floor, he wraps his arms around her and moves his hands to just above her ass. My fists clench. Maybe John’s idea that I should play indifferent is backfiring. Does she like this fuckwad?

  “So you’re John’s friend?” Joey asks.

  “That’d be me,” I manage as I drag my eyes from Nikki. “Parker Hayes and you’re Joey, the ‘practically brother’ guy.”

  He beams a full white grin. “Yeah, that’s me. Bud, her grandfather, kind of took me under his wing a long time ago and when Edie moved in with him, we were thick as thieves. She’s like a sister to me.”

  “You have a way with pissed-off fiancés. What’d you say to John to get him to cool off?”

  Joey sips his beer and shrugs. I can tell he’s an easygoing kind of guy. He’s wearing black dress pants and a white shirt. Even among the suits here, he’d look pretty classy if not for his ball cap that’s on backwards, letting some of his hair hang out. But something tells me the people of this town wouldn’t think twice of it. Joey just seems like the kind of guy everyone would like. “I told him he had one of the two prettiest girls in the room, wearing a gorgeous dress, which she never gets to do working on a horse farm, standing behind him, wanting his attention. I told him this was their night . . . and not to let Dierk ruin it.”

  “I’ve been friends with John for years and I’ve never seen him get so riled up.”

  Joey gives a half smile as his line of sight moves to John and Edie at the bar. “Edie’s a catch. It took John a minute to figure that out . . .
now he knows.” I can’t help smirking as I remember John saying Joey had some unfavorable feelings toward him because of how he and Edie got started.

  “Well, you have a gift. It seems to work,” I add as I jut my chin in their direction.

  “For now. Dierk . . . he likes to push buttons. I’m sure it won’t be long until he pisses John off again.”

  “The guy kind of sounds like a dick.”

  Joey shrugs. “Sometimes. I think he’s just realizing he’s been friends with Edie his whole life and seeing her with John is messing with him.”

  “You mean he loves her?” I ask. Now I definitely want to beat this guy’s ass.

  “Well . . .” Joey laughs. “If I’m being honest, I think he loves both the girls.”

  “Both girls?”

  “Edie and Nikki. They both offer very different things and I think he’s drawn to them for very different reasons.”

  My gaze moves to the dance floor where Dierk is twirling Nikki and she’s laughing. She’s wearing this gray dress that’s strapless and tight around her upper body, but the skirt is kind of poufy and fans out as she spins, showing her fantastic legs. Dierk pulls her back to him and presses his body to hers. I clench my jaw and fight the urge to go steal her away from him.

  “Well, Joey. I need a drink. Care to join me?”

  Joey lifts his beer and shakes it. “Sounds good. I’m empty.” If I’m going to survive this night with Nikki, I need to get shitfaced.

  Well, other than the completely awkward moment between Dierk and John, the party has gone smoothly. I’ve just finished dancing with the mayor and my feet are killing me, but to keep up appearances for the sake of my father, who couldn’t make it tonight, I suffered through it and danced with him. There’s a table in the back toward the corner of the tent and I beeline for it, praying to have a moment to sit and rest my feet. Why do my feet hurt so badly? I’ve never had a problem wearing heels. Do children really just completely suck the sexiness out of a woman from day one?

  I’m just about to step off of the dance floor when a strong arm bands around my waist and pulls me back.