“I excused myself because I needed some air as the room was starting to spin. I thought it was just because there was so many people and the music was really loud. So I walked outside with no direction in mind. I was just wandering and I spotted the water at the back. I have always been mesmerized by water at night. I started feeling really tired, so I took off my jacket and sat down on it not thinking I would fall asleep. But I did. I remember hearing voices, I knew there were several people around. I kept trying to open my eyes but it was like they were glued shut. But all of a sudden there was someone on top of me. His voice was so familiar. I had just heard it. I remember him saying you are not the one I was planning on but you will work.”
“He held me down and had his hand over my mouth. I remember biting his hand. That did not even phase him. He kept telling me what a lucky woman I was because he could have any woman he wanted. When he finally finished, he got up and walked away. I laid there for a few minutes because I was embarrassed. When I did leave, I went back to my apartment, took a scalding hot shower, and then packed up all my stuff and left. I got in my car and headed to Texas, and I’ve lived there ever since. I had all my schooling transferred to Baylor College and finished there. I got my degree in Psychology. I also have a practice in Birmingham and that is where I met you.”
“When you were born I did not even name you so you were given a name by a nurse. I do have your hospital bracelet that I had on and it said baby girl as your name. I am so sorry that you had a hard and rough life. Believe me if I could have traded places with you, I would in a minute. I hope you can forgive me one day.”
Patrice begins to get up, but I stop her.
“I’m sorry I scared you. Can you ever forgive me Mom?”
“Oh honey, there is nothing to forgive.”
We are both crying. And she whispers I love you.
“I love you too, mom. Now can we please go home? I am sure Garrett is going out of his mind. Oh, how did you know where I was?”
“I followed you. I knew you would not come right up, and I was right. What made you come to this church?”
“I don’t know. I heard the soothing music, and I just love it here.”
“Me too dear. Me too.”
CHAPTER NINE
Dealing with Life
“Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.”
~Unknown
It has been two long weeks since we got the DNA test back. Patrice is my mother, and we are working on our relationship. It is weird, but we are both trying.
Seth tried calling my cell when he got his copy of the DNA test. I didn’t even bother answering it. I don’t want to hear a word that prick has to say. As far as I am concerned, he can go to the seventh circle of hell and burn to death, for all I care.
Garrett and I were in bed later that night and he was holding me after a hot session of love making. We were talking while I am laying on his chest, and he rubs my back
“So how do you feel now that everything is now out in the open?”
“I am glad Patrice is my mom, but it still sucks ass that the prick is my dad. But I don’t want to think about him after the mind blowing sex. I just know as long as I have you I will make it through anything.”
“You will never lose me. I will be here forever.”
“I love you Garrett.”
“I love you too Kayla.”
We fall asleep in each other’s arms, but sometime later I wake up screaming.
“Kay honey, are you okay?”
“Don’t touch me. Get away.”
“Kayla, it’s me Garrett.”
“Please don’t hurt me. I am begging you.”
“Please don’t push me away. I will not hurt you Kayla. Come talk to me. What is going on? Was it a nightmare?”
I look up and notice I am at home and not back at the pool house. I am crying and shaking. I get up and run to the bathroom and slam the door shut and lock it. Seconds later I hear Garrett.
“Kay, please talk to me. What is going on?”
I ignore him and turn on the hot shower and I strip.
I stand in the shower and I cry. I have not had a nightmare in a long time, but this one was bad. I scrub my body trying my best to get their scent off me. I know in my head it was only a harsh nightmare but my body is telling me it was real. I hate them.
I sit on the bench and cry until the water turns cold, and even then I still sit and cry.
I finally turn off the water and look at myself in the mirror. I look at the bright red scars. I run my fingers along the jagged edges. The scars are a constant reminder of my past. I grab the fluffy robe and head to the door. I open it and see the whole family in my room.
I don’t even get out of the room, and I am being bombarded with questions.
I shake my head at VI, and she knows to get everyone out.
It’s not long before it’s just VI and I. She sits there waiting on me to say something first.
“This one was really bad,” I whisper.
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
“Not really. I just want to sit here. Will you brush my hair like you used to when we were younger? It was always so calming.”
“Absolutely, give me the brush and go sit at the vanity.”
“Will you tell me about you and Wyatt? Tell me something to get my mind off the nightmare.”
“Hmmm, what to tell. He is this super romantic guy. He holds me at night like he is afraid I will not be there in the morning. But sometimes he will say her name.”
“Whose name?”
“Ariel. You know, his wildflower.”
“What does he say?”
“Nothing really, but I can tell he really loved her. She did a number on him. She left and never looked back. I met her once back in college. She was nice and she was gorgeous. He has a picture of her in his wallet. It’s old and bent, but it’s still there. Before you go all saintly on me, he showed me her one night. He was wasted. I had to go to the club and pick him up. Girl he was shit faced.”
“When was this? And why didn’t I know about it?”
“Well it was as soon as he was released from the hospital. You were still in the coma, and he went to the club and got drunk. When I walked in the door, the place was destroyed. He had taken a baseball bat and destroyed his office. He was so upset.”
“Why? It was not his fault. It was mine.”
“Kay, don’t you know those men love you. Both Garrett and Wyatt love you more than all the words in all the books in the world.”
“Wow that’s a lot of love. I think I hurt Garrett’s feelings tonight though. I screamed for him not to touch me. And then I got up and ran to the bathroom and locked him out.”
“Oh Kay, he understands.”
“He has understood a lot here lately and I can’t keep asking him to understand. You should have seen his face when I had the needle in my hand and he tackled me. VI, he was scared shitless.”
“Speaking of that night, what the fuck were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t. Plain and simple. I was not thinking about anything or anyone. I heard that message and my heart stopped and I just wanted to numb the pain. That was the only way I knew how to do it.”
“So this Damon fellow, have you talked to him?”
“No, I have not. I did send him a message telling him that I was okay. He has messaged me several times checking on me but I have not responded to any of them. I am thankful that he called but I am mad as hell at him. He had no right.”
“No Kay, he did not, but your family is glad he did. You should have seen Garrett when he got the call. He was scared that Rodney wouldn’t make it in time. He didn’t give a Rodney a chance to tell him that he could not go. He was out the door and getting in Rodney’s car.”
“That night was a nightmare and I owe you an apology.”
“Me? Why do you owe me an apology? Kay, you are grown. No-one can make decisions for you. Do I approve? Hell no, but do I think you o
we me an apology? No ma’am I don’t. I know things have been difficult for you.”
“That is an understatement.”
“Come on lets go tell the family that you are okay, so they can quit pacing. I can hear them from here.”
“Do I have to go down there? I really made an ass of myself.”
“Yes, you have to, but luckily for you, we all love your ass, so you will be fine. So get dressed and let’s go have some coffee, since the whole house is wide awake at freakin four am. Maybe we can get lucky and there is breakfast made.”
“I will be down in a few. Let me get dressed.”
“Okay gutterslut, love your face.”
“Love your face more.”
“I doubt that, but I will let you think you won.”
Soon I am alone with my thoughts. I walk over to my double French doors that lead to my custom patio. I open the doors and there is a subtle breeze. I walk out and look over the city. The Seattle skyline never looked better. To the left of me is the ever impressive Seattle Space Needle. In the distance I can see the snow-capped mountains of Mt. Rainier. I am close enough to the water that I can watch the ferries pass. Down below me is Pike Place market, where crowds gather to watch the fisherman throw salmon.
Seattle is a posh mosh of head-spinning whirlwind of just everything you can ever want. To the right of me, I see the twinkling lights of downtown. I can see the big Ferris wheel. I look over my patio and I see the large red oak chairs and the massive table tucked in the corner I have my own piece of heaven, I have my atrium. I have everything from my favorite white roses that have pink edges to my butterfly plants that bring in butterflies. I have a Peperomia which adds a splash of color. I have a Chinese Ever-green that has shades of silver and gray and several varieties of Ivy. I have a Dracaena which looks like a cornstalk. I have several snake plants, spider plants, a Boston fern that is virtually indestructible. I even have a Crown of Thorns plant, and in the center I have a stone water feature. I had it custom built. It is in the shape of a cross and the water flows up the cross instead of down. I have a stone pathway leading back to the French Double doors. I look over and I see Garrett staring at me.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes I am fine. I’m sorry. I thought you were Elijah. I was having a very bad nightmare.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No I don’t. Garrett, are you sure you want to be with me? I’m toxic. I don’t want to hold you back from someone who could be better than me.”
“There is no one who could ever be better than you. I mean it when I say you are the one I want.”
I run to him and start crying in his shoulder. “I just don’t want you to have to settle.”
“There is no settling. I promise. I wouldn’t have been settling with anyone else.”
“I’m tired. Can you please lay with me until I fall asleep?”
“Of course. “
We get back into the bed and it doesn’t take long for us to fall asleep.
***
“Seth you have been pacing this house for two weeks. What in the hell is going on?”
“What did you ask Millie? I am sorry, my mind is elsewhere right now.”
“Yeah, no shit. You have not even said five words to me since the funeral. And thank you for causing a scene at Edwin’s funeral. How did Jason even find out? Now he is threatening me with lawsuits because I kept the boys from him.”
“Millie, I don’t know how he found out, but you did tell a room full of people your sad story at the hospital.”
“I bet it was the little gold digging bitch Kayla.”
“Don’t you dare call her that? You have caused her enough shit. Leave her alone.”
“Wow Seth, when did you start caring for the little trollop?”
I walk over to Millie, and got in her face and tell her to back the fuck off. “Leave her alone. She is none of your concern.”
“Oh bull shit Seth, she killed my son. Don’t tell me that she is not my concern. All this time you have raised Edwin and Elijah as your kids, and you are taking her side. Have you lost your mind?”
“Millie I am not going to have this conversation with you. I am warning you, if you don’t back off, you will regret it.”
“Is that a threat Seth? As I told that whore in the hospital, I don’t deal well with threats.”
I reach over and slap her across the face, “I told you to shut the fuck up. Drop your hatred for Kayla now. I will not have this conversation again.”
She grabs her cheek and gets to the door. “Seth I have covered your ass for years and you can’t even do one thing for me. That is okay. I got you.”
She slams the door and the windows rattle.
I try to call Kayla several times. I need to talk to her. I need her to know how sorry I am. Of course, no answer.
I leave her a message. Telling her it’s urgent. I try Patrice.
“This is Dr. Doyle, how can I help you?”
“Patrice, this is Seth, Please don’t hang up. I need to talk to Kayla.”
“Good luck with that Seth. She wants nothing to do with you. You raised her all these years, and you let those monsters rape her. They may not be yours by blood, but they are just like you.”
All of a sudden the line goes dead.
CHAPTER TEN
The Holiday Brings Stress
“Only you can control your future.”
~Dr. Seuss
“I can’t believe it is already Thanksgiving. I have never had a real family dinner. So this year I am going to cook. Lord help me. Mom, can you make me a list of things I need from the store?”
“You’re serious? You want to cook?”
“Yes. Why are you guys laughing?”
“None of us have seen you in the kitchen other than to grab some wine or to eat the food someone else prepared.”
“You guys can joke all you want.”
“Do you have any idea how to cook? Do you think you can prepare something like Thanksgiving dinner?”
“Well, I have Googled it and watched You Tube. How hard can it be?”
“Kayla sweetheart, I can cook the meal. Well, we can order a fried turkey, and then I can make the rest.”
“You guys, will you please trust me? This is something I want to do so please shush and make me a list. We only have a few days before Thanksgiving, so I need to get my turkey now. Please write down everything I’ll need. I need to get to the store.”
“Well, can you tell me what you want to make?”
“Hello, I just told you guys I have never had a real Thanksgiving dinner.”
“Wait, Seth and Millie never fixed holiday meals?” VI asks.
“Nope, never. They were always out of town for the holidays. The help always made seafood for the holidays. That’s why I’m asking for a list. I have no clue what I need to buy.”
“Come on buttercup. There’s no need for a list. You and I will go shopping.” Wyatt said.
“I’ll let the name slide you ass, but only because you are taking me shopping. Let me grab my purse and then we can be on our way.”
“Who all is going?” Wyatt asks.
“Just you and me stud. Come on.”
“Hey now! You have a man. Don’t be flirting with mine.” VI says, laughing.
“Oh VI, your man couldn’t handle this.” I run my hands down my side laughing.
“Kayla babe, you would be ruined for any other man.” Wyatt joked.
“Brother, if you were anyone else I’d knock you out, but seeing how we are blood, I’ll let you live.” Garrett laughs.
“Come on Wyatt. I want to go before all the fat turkeys are gone.”
“Oh hell, I better go.”
“Let’s drive the beast, but you can’t touch my radio stations Wyatt, and I mean it.”
“There better not be country blaring in my ears.”
“Just for that smart ass, I will make sure of it.”
I grab him and pull him to the door. I
grab my keys, my pink Coach purse, and put my Gucci sunglasses on before heading out the door.
We get to the beast and I hit the alarm to unlock the doors. I get inside and push the button to start the car. I fasten my seatbelt and turn the radio on. I’m greeted by Meghan Trainor’s Lips are Moving.
“Aw Buttercup, this is not the good music, but this is an improvement. You’re may finally be moving up in the music world.”
Ignoring his comment, I ask, “Okay so what store are we buying out?”
“The only one I shop at—PCC Natural Markets.”
“Okay, let’s go do some damage.”
We are only a few minutes away so we make small talk until we arrive at the store. I have never shopped with Wyatt and he will soon find out that shopping is an excursion with me because I go down every single isle.
A while later, Wyatt says, “Kayla, are you serious? We have everything already.”
“Oh hush cry baby. We have only been here for over an hour. But you’re right, I think we have everything on our list.” I grabbed the biggest turkey I could find. It’s a beast at 23 pounds.
We get up to the register, and she rings everything up and gives me the grand total of three hundred twenty seven dollars.
“Kayla, have you lost your damn mind? Its only one dinner!”
“Yes but it’s my first family dinner. So like you tell me, suck it up buttercup. Now load those groceries so we can head back to the house because I am excited to start baking.”
“Oh God! I just know you’re going to burn your house down.” Wyatt groans.
“Well if I burn the house down, I can design a new one.”
“Ooh, well played Buttercup!”
***
Over the next few days, I search every cooking website I can think of because I want to show them that I can do this.
I have made several pies—Dutch apple, spicy pumpkin, and a southern pecan pie. I am standing in my kitchen, and I have flour everywhere when Garrett walks in and starts laughing at me.
Damaged Love (Bound Series Book 2) Page 7