The Puppy and the Orphan

by Suzanne Lambert

  The children all had bathing costumes or trunks on under their clothes. They would get wet and dry out before coming home. Nancy did not have the resources to bring underwear for everyone. The children wouldn’t care: they would be covered in sand from head to foot, and Nancy would spend days getting rid of it from the bathroom.

  The children trooped downstairs with their buckets and spades, trying not to smack each other on the head with them. The noise was deafening and Nancy had to shout to be heard. Once downstairs, they were put into pairs. ‘It’s like the Ragdoll Express,’ they all shouted.

  ‘Can I be at the front?’ called Billy.

  ‘You can be the driver,’ Nancy said, ‘as long as we get out of here before its time to come home.’

  Billy ran to the front. Sister Mary Joseph was at the back with Josephine in the wheelchair. Josephine was doing exceptionally well, walking a little further every day, but the station was too far for her. Dolly was in the middle and Nancy at the front.

  ‘Go on then, blow the whistle, Nancy,’ shouted Sister Mary Joseph, waving her hands.

  ‘Honestly, I don’t know who is worse,’ Nancy muttered, ‘the children or the adults. Off we go, children. It’s a long walk, mind, so be good.’ She glanced towards Mr Bell’s cottage. Somehow she’d thought he might come to wave the children off. Things had changed a great deal all round since Oliver had arrived. Shame about today, but the children’s safety came first and she would need those eyes in the back of her head for sure when they got to the beach.

  Mother Superior was watching them from the window, and felt a catch in her throat as she saw them walking up the driveway in twos, Nancy at the front. She was remembering the day, many years ago, when her heart had frozen as she watched the children walk in twos behind Nancy up the driveway, pretending to be following the Pied Piper. War had been declared and they were being evacuated to Carlisle. Nancy had turned the whole thing into an adventure for them. It had been one of the saddest sights Mother had ever seen, and she had seen many. Today, she could hear their excited voices, and watched as young Tommy swung round and smacked Martha with his bucket. Mother laughed. Oh, how much better this was – just how things should be.

  It had been quite an interesting few months. If anyone had told her a puppy would come to live at the orphanage and the children would manage to keep it hidden, she would have told them not to be ridiculous. Yet here he was, as much part of the orphanage as everybody else. Dogs were sent by God, too, and this one seemed to have arrived just in time. It was Oliver who had helped little Billy to open up and had then helped Josephine to gain in strength by walking more and more each day. Mr Bell, who as far as Mother knew very rarely left his cottage, was now often to be seen in the grounds, smiling, if you could believe it. God-given miracles, she whispered. She waited until the last child had walked through the gates then made her way along the corridor to the chapel to pray for their safe return.

  ‘Not much further,’ Nancy kept calling to the children, as they trudged to the railway station. They were only halfway there and some of the smaller ones were asking to be carried, which was not possible as Nancy, Sister Mary Joseph and Dolly were weighed down like pack horses.

  ‘I’m sweltering,’ complained Sister Mary Joseph.

  ‘Sister,’ called Nancy, ‘you’re here to help, not complain. Anyway, there’ll be a lovely cup of tea when we get there, and I have a real treat for you.’

  It took just over half an hour to get to Heaton Station and Nancy was beginning to worry they would be late for the train. Nancy was always on time and never late. By the time she came huffing and puffing into the station she was bright red in the face and panting. The children all scrambled onto the train and grabbed the nearest seat, so glad to be sitting down at last. Oh well, be thankful for small mercies, at least they weren’t jumping up and down excitedly on the seats, which was what she had expected. Nancy collapsed into a seat beside them. The stationmaster blew his whistle and Nancy looked round for Billy. Look at him, she thought, forgetting totally about how hot and tired she was.

  ‘It’s a real train, Aunty Nancy,’ he told her, his eyes sparkling.

  ‘It is, darling,’ she said.

  There was a screech, then a chuff-chuff hisssssss as the train began to move and all the children shouted, ‘Hooray.’

  ‘Wish Oliver could have come too, Aunty Nancy,’ said Billy, looking sad.

  ‘I’ll tell you what,’ Nancy said, ‘maybe we can let you meet the train driver when we get there.’

  ‘Ooh, yes! I’d like that!’ Billy rushed away from her to join the other children as they piled on top of each other to look out of the window.

  Nancy watched them. ‘Isn’t life just perfect sometimes?’ she said.

  The children began to sing but twenty minutes into the journey some fell asleep. Having been up early, then making the long walk with all the luggage, and with the rhythmic sound of the train, Nancy herself was struggling to keep awake. Her eyes must have drooped for a moment because she got the shock of her life when she heard Billy scream. ‘Look!’ he was screaming at the top of his voice. The train was drawing to a halt and the children had gathered at the window. Nancy jumped up. ‘Look, Aunty Nancy! Look over there!’

  Nancy leaned forward and peered out of the window. ‘Goodness me! Never in the whole wide world. I can hardly believe my eyes!’ she said, her mouth hanging open.

  ‘Isn’t it absolutely wonderful!’ Billy said. There on the platform as the train chuffed into the station and the steam cleared stood old Mr Bell and Oliver, whose tail was wagging furiously. He was trying his best to break free from the lead around his neck. ‘Settle now,’ Mr Bell was saying.

  The children piled off the train and ran over to him. Nancy looked at Mr Bell, feeling choked, as though tears would spring into her eyes at any moment.

  ‘Day out,’ he said, looking embarrassed.

  ‘And why not?’ said Nancy.

  Sister Mary Joseph and Dolly were lining up the children in pairs. ‘You go up front with Oliver and lead the children,’ Nancy said to Mr Bell, and wondered why he seemed to be shuffling from foot to foot. Oh, she thought. He hasn’t been before and doesn’t know the way. ‘Dolly will walk with you.’

  Mr Bell, Oliver and Billy stood at the front with Dolly, Sister Mary Joseph was in the middle and Nancy at the back with Josephine in her wheelchair.

  ‘Isn’t this just the most marvellous surprise!’ shouted an excitable Sister Mary Joseph. ‘Praise the Lord, Nancy! Please God, we’ll have the most wonderful day.’

  ‘Mm,’ replied Nancy. ‘Please God, I’ve got enough money for another deckchair.’

  Never Before a Lipstick So Red

  Jennifer had forgotten how good it was to be at work. The talk was all about the latest songs on the wireless, who had bought what to wear, where the next dance was to be held, boyfriends, and so it went on. The canteen where they all sat for lunch was a hive of activity. Jennifer did more listening than talking. Her life had shrunk since she’d got married and given up work, but she wouldn’t have changed it for the world. She loved Michael so much. This week, though, she hadn’t thought about losing the baby nearly as much or gone over and over what life would be like now if she had become a mother. It had definitely been the right decision to come back to work. The money meant she could go out and buy some pretty new clothes without Michael having to pay. And maybe she could buy some things for fun, like the lipstick the girls were all talking about. It was called New Viv and was in six shades of red, one as bright as a fire engine. ‘And it stays on no matter what,’ Monica had said.

  ‘Not after five minutes with Jonny Wilson,’ replied Janice. They all roared with laughter.

  Oh, it was all so innocent and so much fun. Jennifer wanted the New Viv lipstick, and there was a dress with a matching coat she could never have imagined asking Michael for, not after the latest expense. Michael had told her last week that they were to have a television set. ‘Cheer you up when y
ou’re at home on your own in the evenings,’ he’d said. They could easily afford the rental each week and if ever they couldn’t, well, it simply went back to the shop. What fun, thought Jennifer. Her thoughts turned again to the lipstick. Well, if she couldn’t have a baby, she would have some fun. Michael’s shift gave him the weekend off at the end of the month just after she got paid. This time it would be her treat. I’ll get dressed up and we’ll go out. I can’t have been much fun to live with this last year, she thought sadly. Oh well, that’s going to change now.

  Lunch break was over and she returned to work happily. When they got back to the office, a bouquet and presents were waiting for Barbara, the girl who was leaving. There were many hugs, congratulations and promises to bring the baby in to see them when it was all over. The matinee coats and baby blankets were in a beautiful shade of cream to ensure they would be acceptable for boy or girl. Naturally, there was a rattle and a big card, which they had all signed.

  Jennifer stood back and watched, her heart beating fast. I can do this, she was telling herself, over and over again.

  ‘It’s your fault, Monica,’ Barbara said, laughing. ‘It’s that chair! It’s fated. The last three girls who’ve sat on it have got pregnant.’

  ‘Oooooh it’s bewitched,’ they all laughed.

  ‘Hey, the new girl’s married,’ another said.

  ‘Don’t know long you’ll be here, then!’ Monica said, good-humouredly pushing Jennifer into the chair.

  Julia, who was on holiday but had popped into the office say goodbye, stood frozen to the spot, not knowing how to stop this.

  Barbara grabbed an empty box and shook it. ‘Start the collection now, shall I?’

  Jennifer grabbed her bag and ran, not even stopping to collect her coat. She was down the stairs and out into the street before anyone could catch her and ran all the way home. Once inside, she collapsed onto the floor, burst into tears and sobbed. She punched the cushions, screaming, ‘I want my baby!’

  A little while later, the lady from next door knocked when she heard the sobs subside, but Jennifer was curled up on the sofa having cried herself to sleep. The knocking woke her but she didn’t answer the door.

  She got up and began to make dinner for Michael. She freshened up and changed her clothes. When Michael came in at six, she gave him a peck on the lips and told him not to be long, dinner was almost ready. She gave him no chance to ask about her day as she continued to chat.

  Michael hadn’t missed his wife’s red eyes and his heart broke. What on earth had happened? She would tell him in time if she wanted to, he thought. They had dinner and Jennifer washed up, then came to into the living room. ‘Want to watch some TV? We’re the envy of the street,’ he said, as he got up and switched on the set. Jennifer curled up on his lap and looked at the screen.

  The lady on the TV smiled at them. ‘Never before a lipstick so red … in six vibrant colours,’ she said. Jennifer burst into tears.

  Burned Breakfast and New Ideas

  Michael had been watching Jennifer for days, unsure what to say in case he said the wrong thing. Goodness only knew what had happened at work. He thought back to the moment they had found out she was pregnant. He remembered how radiant she had looked, and how the little spots of colour in her cheeks had made her even prettier than before.

  ‘My beautiful Jenny,’ he sighed.

  Losing the baby had changed everything and she had looked pale and dreadful for weeks. She had been constantly crying, and asking questions Michael couldn’t answer. He had absolutely no idea what to say to her. The family and friends all made it worse with their silly remarks about it being Mother Nature’s way and suchlike. The truth was that both sets of parents were devastated for themselves as well as for Jennifer and Michael.

  My poor Jenny, he thought.

  Something had happened at work, yet in all these months she had never told him what it was and he had never asked. She would tell him eventually, he supposed. Lately, he had come up with an idea but still not broached the subject. There was still no reason to think she wouldn’t get pregnant again, yet as the months went by nothing happened and Michael had asked if she thought it might be time to get tests done. Jenny had become distraught. ‘It can’t be you, can it?’ she said. ‘So it has to be me, and I don’t need a complete stranger poking and prodding and asking me private questions that will embarrass the life out of me. What if they tell us it’s me? What then? At least now we have hope that maybe one day it will happen for us. If I try to forget about it, maybe it will.’ He hadn’t known what to say. Then she had taken his hands. ‘Think about this,’ she’d said. ‘You’ve always wanted to be a daddy, running around with a child on your shoulders, playing daft games, and remember when we talked about the first Christmas together?’ It had been the most wonderful afternoon and that night they had sat by the firelight making plans, then suddenly it was all over. It was almost like coldness had descended upon them. Nothing was fun any more; life took on a serious note. After a few weeks Jenny went about cooking, cleaning, smiling all as usual but there was something missing. Some undercurrent that said all is well on the surface but underneath the grief and pain still waited to reappear at the most inopportune moments. Then she turned to him and said, ‘So remembering that day, Michael, dig deep into your heart and tell me the truth. Would you want to stay with me, knowing I couldn’t ever give you a child? Would you, Michael?’

  My poor sweet Jenny.

  He hadn’t handled the question too well. He was suddenly extremely angry and had stormed out of the room. Afterwards, they hadn’t talked for days, or at least only to be polite. ‘What would you like for your lunch today?’; ‘Shall I put more coal on the fire?’; ‘Are you warm enough?’ It had been an awful few days – they had never fallen out like that before. Michael was relieved to go to work and forget about it for a while. He was a grafter, they all said, and was working towards the job he had always wanted, and he was going to get it, whether or not they said he was still a bit young. Michael had family on the railways, who would put a word in, but he wanted it on his own merit … He was always tired at the end of a shift, especially the late ones, and usually couldn’t wait to get home but his footsteps seemed to drag all of a sudden, knowing there would be an atmosphere at home. Even when he was on shift at two a.m., Jenny would be in the kitchen with a hot meal in the oven ready to serve up. Before falling out, they would go and sit by the fire together and chat about their day. Then Jenny would clear up in the kitchen, kiss him goodnight and go up to bed.

  On Michael’s first weekend off after the falling-out, he had woken to a bright sunny morning. He had jumped out of bed, gone downstairs and walked purposefully into the kitchen. There, he grabbed Jenny by the shoulders and swung her round to face him.

  ‘Michael, I just need to –’

  ‘Never mind that. Let’s sort this out here and now.’

  Jenny opened her mouth to speak but closed it when she looked into Michael’s angry eyes. They stood staring at each other, until Michael’s eyes softened. She threw herself into his arms and they held each other tightly. ‘I’m so sorry I was angry,’ he said, ‘but I can’t imagine why you’d think I could love you less because you couldn’t give me a child. I’ve loved you from the moment I set eyes on you and that will never change. If we have a child, it will be wonderful.’

  ‘And if we don’t?’ said Jenny.

  ‘Then I’ll love you even more to make up for it,’ he said, tilting her chin upwards so he could kiss away her tears. ‘We have a whole lifetime, Jenny, and who knows what the future holds in store for us? If there are further challenges and heartbreak ahead, we can face them together. If we’re together, we can survive anything.’

  ‘Michael, can I just –’

  ‘I’ve not quite finished. I love you, Mrs Harrison. Now, don’t you go forgetting that. What was it you wanted to say?’

  ‘Michael?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘The breakfast’s burned.’


  Today, Michael was smiling, remembering that morning. Who cared if the breakfast was burned? They were back to normal. He just wished Jenny could trust him with whatever had happened at work. Was his idea ridiculous? Would it cause trouble if he broached it? He couldn’t bear to go through all that upset again. He wasn’t even sure it was something he wanted, but the more he thought about it, the better an idea it seemed. If only Jenny had thought of it, it would have been so much better.

  Michael held off saying anything, then suddenly realised what the answer was. He would just drop hints to see if she thought of it for herself. Yes, he decided. That’s exactly what I’ll do.

  Over the next few weeks, when Michael’s shifts were such that he was home in the evenings, he suggested going for a walk. Jennifer liked the idea, and now she looked forward to their evening outings, although they always seemed to take the same route. Along Osborne Road, turning onto Sandyford Road, passing the orphanage and back again. Although Michael also looked forward to their walks, there had been no sign of her noticing the way his mind was working.

  Tonight, I’ll say something, Michael decided, as they left the house, holding hands as always. It was a beautiful warm evening and they strolled slowly past the gates of Nazareth House Orphanage. He stopped. ‘I often wonder about the children there,’ he said. ‘Don’t you think it’s sad?’

  Jenny suddenly remembered the young girl standing at the gates with the pram some months ago, and her eyes clouded over.

  Michael began to panic. He started to move away but Jennifer remained where she was. ‘I saw a young girl here with a child in a pram at these gates,’ she told him, ‘and I was so jealous. It was my first day at work. Oh, Michael, at that moment I just wanted to be her.’

  ‘Darling,’ Michael said, ‘this is an orphanage. She may have been taking her child to be adopted.’ Fate was playing into his hands at last.