The Puppy and the Orphan

by Suzanne Lambert

  Michael couldn’t have hoped for more. He had no idea what had brought this about, but as long as his Jenny was happy, that was good enough for him. Maybe God had answered his prayers after all.

  By eight o’clock they were settled together on the chair in front of the fire. Michael stroked Jennifer’s hair. She didn’t know how to start telling him what the day had brought. What she had to say could possibly change their whole life, and she had no idea whether or not Michael would go along with it, so she continued to sit curled up on his knee, feeling the joy in her heart that had been absent for so long.

  The heat of the fire and the excitement of the day were taking their toll and her eyes closed. It was more than an hour before she stirred. ‘Oh, Michael! It’s Christmas Eve and I fell asleep.’ She climbed off his knee and straightened her dress. ‘Come here, silly,’ he said, pulling her back, but she resisted him. ‘Leave go,’ she laughed. ‘I will go and make us a drink. What would you like?’ Michael looked at her. ‘I’d like to know what you have to tell me.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  Michael winked at her. ‘Do I have a rival? Something’s put that flush in your cheeks today.’

  ‘Michael Harrison, how dare you!’

  ‘Are you going to tell me then?’

  ‘It’s just … Well, today it just happened. Oh, Michael.’

  ‘Unless you want to worry me to death on Christmas Eve, Jenny, darling, you’re really going to have to spit it out,’ he said, and waited.

  Jennifer walked over to the fire and sat down, staring into the flames. ‘I went for a walk today because I could no longer face the way my life was going. Constantly crying on my own and making sure you didn’t know. Watching people with children and feeling a pain so raw it simply wouldn’t go away, wondering whether you’d be better off without me. I felt useless as a wife and a woman and empty inside without a baby. So I went out, with no idea where I was going; it was enough to just put one foot in front of the other and breathe in as much fresh air as I could. Something had to change – I had to change, Michael. Nobody could help me but myself. I ended up at Jesmond parish church staring at the nativity crib.’

  Michael couldn’t have interrupted even if he had wanted to. His heart was breaking for her, so much so that his throat hurt, so he continued to watch her and listen. It was all he could do. If he reached out for her, she might stop. He, too, stared into the flames and waited for her to continue.

  ‘I looked at the baby boy in the crib and asked God why he took my baby. If there was a good reason I would accept it, but I wanted to know why. You work in mysterious ways, I said to Him, and it’s Christmas, a time for miracles. I wanted to ask Him just one more time to send me a child to love. I don’t know why I went that way but I left the church and found myself on Sandyford Road. I heard the orphanage children playing in a little wood inside the grounds. Michael, you’re not going to believe this, but I also heard a dog barking. I hid behind the trees and watched the children play with it. It was a yellow Labrador, about the same age as our puppy would have been. I found out later that it had arrived on Christmas Day and nobody knew who it belonged to. There was a little boy the dog kept running to. Oh, Michael, I wanted to scoop him up in my arms and run away with him.’

  ‘You didn’t, did you?’ said Michael, looking worried.

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous! Of course not,’ Jennifer replied. ‘It’s just those eyes, Michael. The most beautiful eyes I’ve even seen. My heart melted. I could see him here, running around, going crazy with the presents under the Christmas tree. Oh, Michael!’ Jennifer cried. ‘I must have him.’

  Michael knelt beside her and took her face in his hands. ‘Listen to me,’ he said. ‘Christmas Day or not, tomorrow we’ll go to that orphanage and bring him back here where he belongs.’

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘I said, we’ll bring him back here with us.’

  ‘We couldn’t possibly do that! Don’t be ridiculous, Michael.’

  ‘I don’t see why not. He’s ours, after all.’

  ‘Well, I rather think we have to ask first.’

  ‘Why on earth should we? Do you want him or not? Remember those big puppy eyes?’

  ‘Puppy eyes?’

  ‘Jennifer, pull yourself together. You do want to bring the dog home, don’t you?’

  Jennifer smiled and looked back into the fire. ‘Oh, no,’ she said quietly. ‘I wasn’t talking about the dog. I meant the child – his name is Billy. He had the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him.’

  Christmas Magic

  It had been a strange Christmas Eve, not at all like the one they had planned. Michael had been shocked when Jennifer had blurted out that she wanted the little boy. He’d thought she was talking about the puppy. When Michael had thought about adopting, he’d imagined they’d take a baby, but Jennifer had told him they didn’t look after babies at Nazareth House, only children of two years old and upwards. She had also talked him about Nancy in the nursery and how kind she had been.

  ‘Well, the one thing I didn’t expect to hear was that my wife had been hiding in a wood on Christmas Eve.’ Michael had laughed to cover the jumble of thoughts that were running through his mind.

  Together they had sat in front of the fire, mostly in silence, until Jennifer really couldn’t think of anything more to say so she left Michael to busy herself in the kitchen, making sure everything was ready for tomorrow.

  Michael was marvelling at how life could change in the blink of an eye. He hadn’t seen his wife so happy since before she’d lost the baby. There was a bounce in her step, a sparkle in her eyes and a flush in her cheeks. It was almost as though she was actually carrying a baby. Maybe she’s preparing to be a mother, he thought, not that he really understood about such things. All he wanted was for her to be happy. It had been a heart-breaking time for her and she had suffered so much. He believed she would tell him now, if he asked her, what had happened at work that day and they would move on with their life.

  The child was called Billy – Dad would like that, Michael thought, then realised he was already thinking along the same lines as Jennifer. Of course, the main worry was that the child wasn’t available for adoption. He might already have parents. There was really only one way to find out and that was to ask.

  Michael went into the kitchen and stopped in the doorway to watch his wife. She was bustling about, humming to herself, and for a moment he could picture her laughing with Billy, telling him to calm the dog down and get themselves out of her clean kitchen. It was a perfect picture of a perfect family.

  Jenny turned and laughed. ‘What are you doing skulking in doorways, Michael Harrison? Do you want something?’ she asked.

  Michael walked over to her and gave her a kiss. ‘I want the same as you do, of course. We always want the same thing and that’s why we have such a good marriage. Just, please, don’t get your hopes up in case Billy isn’t free for adoption.’

  ‘You mean we can go and ask? Really, Michael? Are you happy about this?’

  ‘You know what? I am, Jenny, truly I am.’

  The rest of Christmas Eve passed in a blur. Jennifer was so exhausted that by ten o’clock she was asleep in front of the fire. Michael continued to think about the child. This house was far too quiet when he came home … That wouldn’t last for much longer. He began to dream about the little boy on his shoulders and the very first place he would take him … He jumped when Jenny shook his shoulders.

  ‘Let’s go tomorrow.’

  ‘Go where?’

  ‘To the orphanage, of course!’

  ‘Jenny, darling, we can’t possibly go tomorrow. In case you’ve forgotten, it’s Christmas Day.’

  ‘What better time to go? I feel like marching back in there right this very minute – it’s bad enough having to wait until tomorrow. If you don’t want to come, I’ll go alone.’

  Michael sat up, laughing. ‘You should see the look on your face –
like a stubborn little girl who’s about to stamp her feet.’

  ‘Well, are you coming or not?’ Jennifer demanded.

  ‘Of course I’m coming,’ Michael replied.

  Jennifer woke Michael at six, wishing him happy Christmas and saying it was going to be their best one ever. Michael’s heart sank. What sort of reception they would get, bursting into Nazareth House on Christmas Day, he couldn’t imagine. Jennifer was calling him to get up. ‘Have you gone back to being a child, waking me up at six when all I want to do is lie in bed?’ he joked.

  ‘You have to get ready and put your best suit on. I’m going to wear my prettiest dress and shoes for going out.’

  It’s going to be a long morning, Michael thought, as he lay back and wondered what the day would bring. He stayed in bed for a little longer, praying that the whole thing wouldn’t come crashing down around them. God only knows what that would do to Jenny, he thought. The dog, of course, was theirs and they could have it back, but what would that do to the children, especially Billy? From what Nancy had told Jennifer they were inseparable. Let’s hope they can come together, Michael thought. He was extremely nervous, to tell the truth, and wanted the day to be over. He sighed. So much for a relaxing Christmas Day.

  Michael had bought Jennifer a new coat, with a matching hat and gloves, for Christmas. She would wear them today. They had discussed what time they should arrive at Nazareth House. Nine o’clock was too early because they would probably be at Mass. Between twelve and three they would be preparing lunch and eating it. But Jennifer couldn’t possibly wait for teatime. They finally decided on eleven, and if that was inconvenient, they would ask when they might come back.

  Eventually they set off to walk to the orphanage. It seemed like an awfully long way today, and Jennifer thought they would never get there. Twice Michael asked her not to squeeze his hand so tightly. ‘If you break my fingers I won’t be able to pick him up,’ he said.

  At last they arrived and stood at the iron gates. ‘Ready?’ Michael asked, but Jennifer needed a moment.

  Michael looked around him and saw that just inside the gates to his left there was a wooded area. This is where Jennifer must have hidden behind the tree, Michael thought, greatly amused. At this moment Jennifer, like many before her, closed her eyes: ‘Please, God, please, God,’ she was praying. She couldn’t think of anything else to say and felt a little light-headed. This was it, then. ‘Ready, Michael,’ she said. They began to walk down the driveway. Although they had almost sprinted to Nazareth House their footsteps were slow now.

  For the second time in two days Jennifer went to the great oak door and knocked. Then she grabbed Michael’s hand and they stood like a couple of statues, hardly moving. Over to the right of them the statue of Our Lady of Lourdes was watching them.

  That Christmas Day in Newcastle upon Tyne, a few lives were about to change for ever. It was Christmas after all. A time for magic and miracles, according to Nancy.

  Trains Indeed

  The bell rang out at six a.m., heralding the start of Christmas Day, and most of the occupants of Nazareth House were still asleep. Nancy, though, had been up and dressed since five and was having a quiet cup of tea in her room. It had been impossible to sleep with all that had happened in the last few days. There was a feeling of change in the air and it was a good feeling. Nancy thought she had forgotten how to breathe when Mr Bell gave Josephine the treasure box with the ribbons that had been bought more than thirty-eight years ago for his daughter, Margaret. All that time they had been wrapped in paper, lying in the box, and when he had been in hospital it was the one thing he’d had on his mind: his treasure. It had been such a beautiful gesture. Nancy would make sure that every time Josephine went to visit she would be wearing her ribbons.

  Oliver had certainly changed their lives for the better, she thought. And there was Jennifer, still heartbroken over the loss of her child, then her puppy. Nancy knew that Oliver had already healed hearts and was likely to do so again. There was only one problem: how on earth would they all live without him? He was part of them and their lives. The children and Mr Bell would be utterly lost … unless this was part of some greater plan.

  Nancy picked up her rosary beads and looked at the little cross that dangled at the end. ‘Well,’ she said, ‘I think I’ll leave it to you.’ She had closed her eyes in prayer until she was suddenly disturbed by the ringing of the six o’clock bell. ‘Happy Christmas,’ she said. She ran out of her room and along the corridor where she could already hear the children’s excited squeals.

  Every year, the children made Christmas garlands, which hung all the way down the long corridors. When they had been evacuated to Carlisle, Christmas at home was all they talked about. They planned it down to the last detail, and Nancy had promised that when they got back they would make the longest paper garlands in the world, and indeed they had. Now it was a tradition every year for the garlands to reach all the way down the long corridor. It was a beautiful sight to see the children on Christmas morning, their faces flushed with excitement, walking down the corridor to the dining room for breakfast. Nancy knew Cook only had a few hours’ sleep on Christmas Eve, she was always preparing, cooking and baking right up until the early hours of the morning. Once the dinner had been served and cleaned away nobody was allowed to disturb her. She would be sitting snoozing by the big oven in her comfortable chair, a pot of tea beside her. After tea Nancy would have an hour with Cook and together they would enjoy yet another pot of tea and, of course, Christmas cake.

  Lunch was to be at one o’clock in the dining room, which would be made ready after breakfast while the children were in the playroom with their new toys. Nancy was so relieved that this year everything was in order. Apart from Jennifer’s visit there had been no last-minute panics or new children to worry about. Yet, somehow, she knew there was more to come. She couldn’t explain how she knew: she just did. I wish whatever it was would happen, she thought. I can cope with whatever is thrown at me but I don’t like not knowing what it will be. I suppose time will tell.

  Nancy decided to take Billy and Josephine to see Mr Bell and wish him a happy Christmas. The children had made a card for him, the staff had put together a little parcel of gifts and Cook had sent a basket of goodies. They all laughed when they reached the edge of the wood and Oliver started barking.

  The children looked at Nancy. ‘Go on then,’ she told them, so they ran ahead of her and opened the door. Oliver ran round in circles chasing his tail, then put his paws on Billy’s shoulders to lick his face. Josephine went straight to Mr Bell and showed him how lovely her plaits looked with the beautiful blue ribbons tied to the ends. She knew about Margaret, because Nancy had told her, so she walked over to the photograph and said, ‘Happy Christmas, Margaret, thank you very much for your ribbons.’ Nancy had to look away. No tears on Christmas Day for goodness’ sake, she told herself. Then they all gathered round the fire and watched Mr Bell open his presents. They would do this every year now, Nancy promised herself.

  As they waited at the front door of Nazareth House, Michael looked at Jennifer. He was now feeling extremely nervous. What if the child wasn’t up for adoption? What if he didn’t like them? What if Mother Superior turned them away? What if Nancy was angry with them for disturbing her on what must be a busy day? He turned to Jennifer. ‘What if –’

  Jennifer stopped him. ‘Don’t say it, Michael. Let’s be brave.’ They were standing outside the door and Jennifer suddenly began to lose her bravado. They stood side by side, both lost in their own thoughts. Jennifer looked around her and there to her right stood a beautiful grotto, and the Lady of Lourdes looked back at her. Jennifer smiled then lifted her hand and knocked. They looked at each other and waited.

  The door opened and they took a step back. Michael quickly removed his hat.

  What on earth is the matter now? Mother wondered. Jennifer and a gentleman, whom Mother presumed was her husband, were standing outside, clearly petrified. ‘Come in out of
the cold,’ she said, ushered them into her room and asked them to take a seat. Jennifer opened her mouth to speak, but Mother raised her hand. ‘I think we need tea. If you’ll excuse me for a moment …’ She left the room.

  ‘At least she let us in,’ Michael whispered.

  ‘Sssh,’ Jennifer said. They fell silent again.

  ‘I wish she’d hurry up,’ Michael muttered. ‘I feel really out of place sitting here.’

  ‘Be quiet, Michael, please,’ Jennifer said. ‘I am nervous enough to start with.’ They continued to wait then Jennifer began to study the room. What a beautiful room, she thought. There was a huge black telephone on Mother’s table and she wondered what momentous decisions had been taken on it. The fireplace stretched halfway up the wall and was just as wide. It looked like it was made of marble, and logs were blazing in the grate. When she looked above the mantelpiece, she gasped. Michael followed her gaze – and that was how Mother Superior saw them when she returned. Michael and Jennifer were gazing upwards at the large picture of the Madonna and Child.

  ‘Tea is on its way,’ she said, and began to chat about how they had got there, the weather and what they were planning for Christmas. All safe subjects. The tea duly arrived and Mother poured. It was time. ‘Well now,’ she said, ‘what can I do for you?’

  The speech had been well prepared. Jennifer had hardly slept all night. Over and over in her head she had said the words until she had them by heart. She opened her mouth to speak, then burst into tears. Mother offered her a handkerchief and waited. ‘Maybe I can help a little,’ Mother said.

  Jennifer was aware that this was a kind voice and felt comforted. ‘I’m told by Nancy that Oliver is yours and you lost him on Christmas Day last year, when he decided to make his home in the stable here.’ She smiled, then continued: ‘A child found him, and managed, with the help of his friends, to keep the puppy hidden for quite a while!’ There was laughter in her eyes.