Demons of Desire

by Debra Dunbar

  “It’s a wonder your mailbox isn’t flooded with invites. This won’t be anything like Beltane, beyond the usual method of casting the circle, calling the quarters, invoking the Lord and Lady. Bev and Jason will be designing the magic portion of the ritual, and they’ll go over it when we get there. There’s an energy raising — chanting, or dancing, then we’ll direct it with intent, probably with a branch from one of the affected trees.”

  “Wait. I thought we were doing the water work. We’re back to the trees now?”

  Jordan shifted in her seat, her eyes practically glued to the road. “Yeah. Bev decided last night that the trees were more important. It’s hurricane season, so I can’t really fault her logic or priorities.”

  “You told her about my limitations?” Crap. Looks like I’d be in hip waders fighting off snakes and alligators tonight. Bad enough that the mosquitoes out here were the size of my fist.

  “Yeah… .”

  Uh oh. I didn’t like that hesitation in Jordan’s voice. I didn’t press her, calmly looking out at the Mississippi River steadily flowing south under the tall bridge.

  “Bev … she’s a good high priestess in spite of some of our philosophical differences. Bon Nuit has grown and strengthened under her leadership.”

  “But?” I prompted.

  Jordan shot me an inscrutable look. Her driving was smooth and even, but her hands flexed rhythmically on the steering wheel, and there were tense lines around her eyes. “She is very uncomfortable with the fact that you’re half demon. Regardless of your demonic classification, it skirts the line, and she isn’t fully supportive of working with you on this.”

  Great. Once again my monster was causing doors to slam in my face. “So why did she agree? I can’t believe causing azaleas to bloom in late summer alleviated her moral doubts as to my motives or karmic baggage.”

  “I have no moral doubts on your motives or karma, Amber. I truly think you can help. Your magic is neutral in that it works for the overall balance of energy and environment. We need that — not just our coven, but all the humans living here.”

  “Yes, but we were talking about Bev.” I had a sudden thought that her dislike of me might be more than my half–demon status. “She doesn’t like neutral, does she? She fears whatever I do may not be in her best interests.”

  “The death of these trees could pose real problems for the coven. You’re not loyal to us, and I think she does fear the neutrality of your magic. But in spite of that, she’s willing to take a chance on you to save those trees.”

  This must be very important to Bev for her to go out on a limb like this. I watched Jordan carefully as she drove, feeling her doubts, her unease with the whole situation.

  “Jordan, you’re my friend. What do you suggest I do? You know my passion for nature, but I’ll admit I’ve got a dark side. I don’t really know what my abilities are and how to direct them. I don’t really give a shit about Bev, but I don’t want to go in there and screw things up. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I shouldn’t be messing around with this stuff.”

  Her hands tightened on the steering wheel as she glanced at me. “Let’s see what Bev has to say today, and we’ll go from there. As much as my loyalty is with my coven, I promise to be straight with you, Amber. I consider you a friend, and I won’t be anything less than honest with you.”

  That was the most I could ask for. I continued to look out at the gray skies and highly populated areas that shifted from miles of retail strip malls to a dense landscape of trees and plants.

  Five figures stood on a patch of reasonably solid ground about twenty feet from the road. Bev stood out, tall and thin with her silver hair plastered to her face in damp strands. She pointed into the distance, and the younger man next to her looked obligingly in that direction. They looked like Mutt and Jeff standing together, the man’s short stature and round belly a sharp contrast. The others had measuring tape, compasses, and a plastic, wheeled item that dispensed a thin line of chalk.

  “Marking the directions and the circle perimeter,” Jordan whispered. “Saves time later, and it’s easier to do during the day.”

  Plus, I could imagine this sort of activity wouldn’t be conducive to the state of mind necessary to raise magical energy. Jordan made introductions, and I was relieved to see that the others didn’t seem to share Bev’s unwelcoming attitude. We made our way to where the other two were standing, and I felt the curious but friendly stares of the other three on my back.

  “Do they know what I am?” I asked Jordan in a low voice.

  She nodded, giving me an apologetic look. “Bev thought everyone should know, in case they had any moral objections or felt their energy might not work well with yours.”

  “How many?” The heat in my face wasn’t just from the sun broiling my skin.

  Jordan patted my arm in an awkward sympathetic gesture. “Ten.”

  I should have been concerned with the fact that eighty strangers now knew what I was, but, instead, I was upset that a majority of them ‘morally objected’ to working with me. They didn’t even know me. A pariah. A half demon. Even when I was doing something good, I was shunned.

  “It’s nothing to do with you. They’re scared. They don’t know you, haven’t seen what you can do.” Jordan halted me, stepping slightly in front of me. Anxious brown eyes searched mine. “I asked you to do this. I’m here, and so are ten other people. We want you here.”

  Well, everyone but Bev, although she seemed to have made her peace with me as a necessary evil. I guess, deep down, I really couldn’t blame them. Last year if I’d been invited to a ritual that involved a demon, I would have probably refused too. Of course, last year I would have thought they were all off their rocker. Demons didn’t exist last year. Neither did vampires, elves, or babies stolen from their cribs and replaced with monsters. It was like a curtain had been ripped away from a window, and my eyes were only now adjusting to the light. I couldn’t blame those who were still blind and afraid.

  “Thank you for having faith in me.” I gave Jordan a quick hug, smelling the strawberry shampoo in her hair. “Let’s go talk to the bitch and get this over with. I’ve got a hot date this afternoon, and I don’t want to be late.”

  * * *

  12

  I’d frantically called Darci on my way back from the bayou, arranging to have dinner with her before Jordan picked me up for the ceremony. I hadn’t seen my friend since this morning. This “vacation” was to spend time with her, and I felt guilty that I was constantly ditching her to hang with vampires and witches, not to mention all the time I was spending trying to score a sexual partner. Hooking up shouldn’t be so damned hard.

  Jordan dropped me off in front of the hotel, giving me a high five and a knowing look as I leapt from the car and raced up the stairs into the lobby. My Nikes squeaked as I dashed across the golden tiles, polished with such a high gloss they nearly blinded me. The man behind the reception desk helpfully pointed me to a bank of elevators, and I stood, impatiently waiting for the lighted numbers to work their way down to my level.

  A guest played inexpertly at the huge grand piano in the lobby, and the smell of spicy seafood made my stomach growl. I hadn’t eaten since the brioche with Ourson. First things first: sex, then food with Darci, then magic. After all that, I’d relax, comatose, on the patio of a bar overlooking the river, a mint julep in one hand as I listened to someone who played the piano better than the dude behind me.

  Finally the elevator opened with a ding, and I entered, silently willing the thing to move faster as I glared at my reflection in the stainless steel doors. It didn’t help. Elevators always seem to go slower when you’re in a hurry. Eventually the stupid thing opened on my floor.

  Twelve twenty–three. I knocked, my cheeks burning with embarrassment as Ourson answered the door with an impassive face.

  “I’m so sorry I’m late.”

  The impassive face broke into shock. That’s when I realized demons didn’t give a flying fuck about bei
ng late. Everything ran on their timetable, at their whim. Oh well. I wasn’t going to turn into a rude asshole and use my genetics as an excuse.

  “Please forgive me. I’m not normally so inconsiderate about other people’s time. I’m running on a stupidly tight schedule today and got held up south of the city.”

  The vampire nodded slowly. “No problem. We weren’t waiting long.”

  Ourson opened the door wide, and I got an eyeful of white. White walls, white bed linens, white drapes, white lamps, white chairs. Even the damned carpet was white. I immediately wondered how in the world they managed to get bloodstains off anything. Or other bodily fluids. Hopefully there would be more of the latter and none of the former in this transaction. I felt bad enough about being late. I didn’t want to saddle Ourson with that sort of cleanup, and there’s no way I had time to squeeze it into my schedule. It was all up to the guy, though. I was his fantasy, and if that included blood, so be it.

  I entered the room to see a man with black hair and olive skin lounging against the mirrored wet bar, a glass of something amber on the rocks in his hand. For a second I caught my breath, noticing that the man bore a faint resemblance to Irix. Ourson grinned at my obvious approval of his choice.

  “I hope you enjoy the tribute we have provided for you. Please feel free to spend as much time as you wish, and dial twenty–one on the phone if I can be of any service.”

  At least he wouldn’t be hovering outside the doorway, listening in. My vampire minder discretely slipped out the door, and I faced the man. He was gorgeous — crisp shirt unbuttoned two from the neck. A gray jacket was casually draped across the end of the bed, and the man’s left hand was in the pocket of matching gray pants. Expensive clothes. The fit form and beautiful face were more than compelling. I looked into the dark brown eyes and lamented for a brief moment that they weren’t gold.

  There was nothing for me to find fault with. He met all my picky criteria. Still, it was best to be sure.

  “You know what I am?”

  “You’re a succubus.” The look of confidence in his face never wavered. His husky voice made it quite clear that my demon side only heightened his desire.

  “I will seduce you. I will be everything you have ever desired, and, in return, a part of you will always be mine.”

  His knees shook, and he swallowed noticeably. “Yes.”

  Well, that took care of the consent part. I needed him. He clearly desired me. There was no logical reason to back out now. No reason at all, except the image of sultry golden eyes that kept springing from my memory.

  “Do you want me?”

  I pulled off the tank top as I walked forward, revealing a lacy peach bra. The man held his breath, pupils dilating with need as he watched my progress. I may have been a bit sweaty, and not wearing the sexiest attire in the world, but I was rocking the pheromones, and my succubus side purred with satisfaction at the potential partner.

  “Yes.”

  The word was guttural. Choked. As though he could barely force it from his throat.

  I closed the distance and pulled him to me. He smelled of sandalwood and clove. Soft, full lips merged with mine, and I pressed myself against him. My partner for the evening wasn’t shy. Hands skated across my waist and up to unclasp my bra. He leaned back a mere inch, sliding it expertly from my shoulders and down to the floor before encasing me in muscled arms. The feel of his silk shirt against my bare nipples was almost more than I could endure. I moaned against his mouth, rubbing myself along the silk.

  “Mmmm.” He shuddered against me, digging his fingers into my back as if he could somehow merge his body with mine.

  I didn’t need to ask him what he wanted, didn’t need to awkwardly grope around. The succubus in me took over, and the elf half was surprisingly subdued. I took my time, extending the experience for my partner as I yanked the buttons from his shirt and pulled the ends from his pants. My hands skirted his fly and the bulge there, feathering along the sensitive skin of his waist and digging hard nails into flesh as I raked up his back. He gasped into my mouth.

  “I want to see you naked before me. I want you on your knees.” This was what he wanted, and therefore it was what I wanted too. Anything to lock him to me for the rest of his life.

  He resisted. I snarled, biting his lower lip hard enough to hurt, but not enough to draw blood. “Down. Naked.”

  Lips left mine abruptly, and the man fell to the floor as if he were compelled by supernatural means. Tanned, muscled hands shook as he unbuttoned his pants and slid the zipper south. With a shimmy, my partner managed to wiggle himself free from the silk as I watched with cruel eyes. He was naked beneath the expensive pants. Naked. On his knees. Before me.

  And I felt like a total shit.

  Something hard lodged in my chest, and my stomach churned, but I was on autopilot. It didn’t matter what I wanted, what I felt. The only thing that counted was being his ideal lover, fulfilling his deepest fantasy and securing my eternal link to him. I slowly removed my belt, sliding it through the loops as he watched my every movement. The supple leather folded easily in half, and I jerked both ends outward. His eyes widened at the whip–like crack of the belt. So much desire with just a tinge of fear. But what he wanted would have greater impact if I drew it out a little.

  Unfolding the belt, I looped it around his neck and pulled him toward me, stopping as he teetered on the edge of falling forward. His wish would be my command, and the thought made me a little ill. Images of what he wanted filled my mind.

  But there was nothing else filling me. I frowned down at him, wondering where the surge of energy was. Stepping forward, I gripped his chin with my hand and felt … nothing.

  It was a like a bitch–slap to the face. There was no energy coming my way because it was all going elsewhere.

  “Not your first time at this rodeo, is it?” I asked, unlooping the belt from his neck and stooping to pick up my bra and shirt.

  He remained on his knees and stared at me, confused. “Huh?”

  I hooked the bra around my waist and pulled the straps up and over my shoulders, waiting until I was fully dressed to respond. “Succubus. You’ve been with another succubus, or incubus. There’s nothing for you to give me. You already gave it away.”

  His eyes grew frantic as I started for the door. “Please! You don’t know what it’s like, the torture of desire never fulfilled. No matter who I have sex with, I’m always empty.”

  I shook my head blindly and kept walking. His words were like hot knives tearing their way through my belly. Linked to a demon for life — this is what we did. This is what I did.

  “Please! You’re just like her. I’ve been searching for years trying to recreate how she made me feel, trying to find someone to fill this hollow need. I’ll do anything. Please.”

  I paused. The sympathy I felt for this man was mixed with self–loathing. I’d leave the people I preyed upon like this — desperate and ravenous. You’re just like her. I was. I remembered the Zumba instructor, his name forever lost to me, his image hazy in my mind. Did he troll bars late at night with haunted eyes, looking for someone to end what was an endless hunger? What had I done to him and all those boys I’d slept with once and dumped? I wished I could help this man, but I was just as much of a monster as the demon who’d done this to him.

  “I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do to help you.”

  The door clicked shut as I left, instantly muting his sobs. I held it together all the way to the stairwell, and then I was the one kneeling on the floor crying. I’d rather starve than do that to another person, but it wasn’t just revulsion that filled me. Relief. Relief that his prior commitment had kept me from going through with the whole thing. As desperate as I’d been to avoid Irix’s ultimatum, this wasn’t the solution. I just needed to stall the incubus until I figured out what that solution was.

  Composing myself, I left the stairwell and took the elevator down to the lobby where Ourson waited.

  “Would
you like me to secure another partner for you?” He seemed very pleased with himself, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him what had happened.

  “No. That will be sufficient for my stay here.” The moment I said the words I wanted to retract them. My tone was all wrong, as if he were a butler and I were some entitled aristocrat. The tears welled up again, and Ourson’s eyes grew wide.

  “What’s wrong? Are you … crying?”

  I choked a bit on a laugh, realized that demons probably never cried. “I hate what I am, Ourson. I hate having to do these things. And I hate that I just spoke to you like you were my flunky. Can we stop with the whole concierge thing and just be friends? Can you treat me like I’m not a demon?”

  “What should I treat you like?” He was looking at me as if I’d gone completely insane. I felt like I had.

  “Human? No, that won’t work, will it?” I choked on a laugh, envisioning Ourson constantly trying to bite me. “How about you just pretend I’m one of your vampire friends.”

  A smile lurked around the edges of his mouth. “Sure. Wanna grab a bite later at the club? I get dibs on any B negative.”

  Okay, so maybe vampire buddy wouldn’t work. It was a start though.

  “Nah. I’m meeting Darci in a few for dinner, then I’m off to assist a bunch of witches fix the swamps.” And then I was going to try and avoid Irix and his ultimatum.

  Ourson grinned, his brown eyes warm. “Rain check?”

  “Rain check.” I assured him.

  * * *

  13

  I doubt this Bev woman is going to make herself look like a fool in front of her coven by blowing the ritual. Jordan said she needs those trees to be healthy. Plus, she arranged the whole thing.”

  I ate a spoonful of gumbo, savoring the sharp, peppery flavor, and the burst of caraway as I bit a seed buried in the sausage. Darci was probably right. I was just being paranoid again. It was understandable — the woman clearly didn’t like me and had picked the area I was most unlikely to have success. She’d been coldly polite this morning at the bayou, asking if there was anything special I needed for the ritual. Unfortunately, the one thing I needed I didn’t have. I doubted they’d volunteer a member to have sex with me during the ritual. In spite of their acceptance of sex magic, my particular form of it wouldn’t be acceptable. I’d already scared off over half the coven. No need to frighten off the rest.