The Theory of Second Best (Cake #2)

by J. Bengtsson

  Dale and I headed back to camp with our buckets filled with water. The more I thought about what he’d said, the worse I felt. This was all my fault. I was so comfortable with Kenzie that I’d just started talking to her like I would talk to my brothers. She seemed game for anything. It’s what I loved about her. I’d never felt as comfortable around a woman as I did with Kenzie, but was it because I saw her as a friend, or did I actually have feelings for her?

  Yeah, our spooning sessions had been getting a rise out of me, but I just figured it was because I hadn’t had sex in a while, and unlike Bobby, I wasn’t disappearing into the woods every hour to rub it out. But this morning, at the beach, I’d felt things for her that I never had before. I cared what happened to Kenzie. She had become part of my life these past weeks, and I knew I’d miss her when the show was over.

  Carl and Marsha were sitting by the fire in complete silence when Dale and I arrived back in camp. They never really talked. For whatever reason, Marsha didn’t bombard him with her interesting facts as often as she did us. Don’t get me wrong, he still got his fair share, but unlike the rest of us, she typically gave Carl his space. He was just not a friendly dude. I didn’t know what Kenzie saw in him or why she was trying to help, but clearly her sessions were not having a big effect on his temperament. He was still a miserable dick wad.

  Kenzie and Bobby came back from the water laughing and plopped themselves on the logs. Kenzie sat beside Marsha and Bobby took one of his own.

  “How was the water?” Marsha asked.

  “It felt great,” Kenzie replied shaking her hair out. I watched her smile in that dreamy way of hers, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. It was strange. Now that I knew she liked me, I was seeing her differently. Sizing her up. Possibly sensing me staring, Kenzie glanced in my direction, and I quickly looked away.

  “Did you know the average depth of the ocean is 2.7 miles?” Marsha asked.

  “Ugghh,” I heard Bobby groan.

  “No, I didn’t know that,” Kenzie replied. I smiled. Actually, she did know that. Marsha had repeated that fact at least three times already. But Kenzie was just being polite. I didn’t know too many women who would be so patient with someone as annoying as Marsha. It was definitely an endearing quality. If I was going to have a girlfriend, that would definitely be a characteristic I’d like her to have. See, there I go again.

  “Are you cold?” Bobby asked. “You’re shivering.”

  “No, I’m good,” she replied.

  I watched him get up and squeeze himself onto the log next to her. When his arm wrapped around Kenzie, I felt a jolt of displeasure. Was she really buying into this whole charade? He was just playing her to stay in the game. I hoped she knew that. When he started rubbing her back, I felt my skin crawl. It’s not that I was jealous – at least, I didn’t think I was – but Bobby? Come on! He was such a slimy dude. I was seconds away from stomping over there and getting my ass kicked in her honor when Kenzie shrugged him off and walked over to Carl’s log.

  Bobby gave her a dirty look. Dale caught my eye and then went to sit on an empty log, and I slid in beside him. With all the awkward glances going on, there was a prolonged moment of silence that rocked the camp. Kenzie caught my eye and we stared at each other. I could see her questioning look, so I smiled at her to ease the tension. She returned my gesture, but there was hesitancy to her smile that tore at me. I hated that I was making her feel this way. Dale was right. We needed to talk.

  But we didn’t. I had no idea how to bring up the topic without things getting awkward between us again, so I just ignored it for now. To her credit, Kenzie kept my identity a secret. In fact, it was me, only one day later, who managed to spill the beans to the entire group.

  We’d been sitting around the fire when Bobby dared to speak to Carl. “So, I gotta ask, dude, how exactly did you get picked for the show?”

  “I was walking through an airport.”

  “And?”

  “That’s it.”

  “You got spotted at an airport, and they asked you to be on the show? Just like that?” Bobby asked, with disbelief etched into his question.

  “Just like that,” Carl confirmed curtly.

  Bobby laughed.

  The indifferent look on Carl’s face immediately turned to anger. “You got a problem?”

  “No. No problem.”

  Kenzie chewed on her bottom lip as she watched the interaction between the two. She acted personally invested in Carl’s peaceful transition into society. Personally, I didn’t feel he deserved her devotion, although if I wanted to be completely honest, neither did I.

  “Do you want to know how I got on the show?” Marsha asked, as she threw some wood in the fire.

  We all turned our attention on her. Yes, actually, that was a very interesting question. How in the hell did Marsha get a spot?

  “Do tell,” I grinned at her.

  “I sent in a nudie pic.”

  I barked out a disbelieving laugh. Everyone else remained frozen in shock.

  “Seriously?” Dale asked, his eyes huge behind the glasses.

  “No.” She waved her hand and threw her head back in amusement. “I made a home video driving my tractor through town, and they liked it.”

  There was an audible exhale from every single one of us, followed by uncontrolled laughter.

  When we’d all had our fill, Dale asked, “You weren’t by chance wearing the outfit you came in here with, were you?”

  “Yes, I was. How did you know?”

  “Lucky guess.”

  “Okay, Marsha, I’m going to address the elephant in the room,” Bobby said, boldly going where no man dared to go. I had to hand it to him, he was a ballsy little creature today.

  “Why don’t I wear a bra?”

  Bobby seemed surprised that she’d guessed what he was going to ask; though in reality, what other elephant did she have? “Well… uh… yeah.”

  “I don’t like having the girls constricted.”

  “That’s it?” He laughed. “No big reveal?”

  Marsha shrugged, nonchalantly. “I’ve never worn a bra.”

  “Ever?” Kenzie asked in surprise.

  “Nope.”

  “Not even when it’s nippy outside?” I joked.

  “Not even then,” she answered confidently. “Anything else?”

  “Oh, uh,” Bobby stammered. “I guess not. It’s just a little weird.”

  “What’s weird about it?”

  “I don’t know. Sometimes it’s hard to concentrate when they’re flopping around.”

  “Why should I be uncomfortable just to make you comfortable?”

  Bobby had no answer for her, so he sealed his mouth shut and abruptly ended that awkward line of questioning.

  With the mystery of Marsha’s boobs solved (sort of) she turned to Kenzie and asked, “What about you, missy girl? How’d you make it on the show.”

  “Honestly, I played up the whole small town girl thing.”

  “And it worked?” Bobby asked, his mouth hanging open.

  Kenzie laughed. “Well, I’m here.”

  “Why are you so shocked when you hear of one of us getting on the show by way of our personality?” Dale asked Bobby.

  “I’m just surprised that being tall or braless or a sweet, hometown girl would be enough.”

  “Why?” I asked. “Did you have to sleep with someone to get on?”

  “Pretty much.” Bobby nodded and the look in his eye made me think he probably had.

  “Okay,” Kenzie said, looking embarrassed, “I might also have done a little skit on my Cookie Monster eyes.”

  “You didn’t?” I laughed.

  She nodded, blushing. “I had the head from a Halloween costume and did the voice and acted out a whole scene from Sesame Street. They must have liked it because I got an interview request right away.”

  “That…” Bobby shook his head, seemingly annoyed by the stories he was hearing. “Well, shit… clearly I went all o
ut.”

  “What about you, Kyle?” Marsha asked. “How’d you make it on the show?”

  I glanced at Kenzie. Her eyes flashed with uneasiness, no doubt wondering how I would answer. I had no idea myself. Searching my mind for a plausible excuse, I still came up blank so, like a toddler, I replied, “I’m not telling.”

  “You’re not telling?” Bobby asked, stunned by my immature reply. “Why? What do you have to hide?”

  “I’m not hiding anything. I’m just not telling.”

  “That makes you look sketchy,” Carl said, in a disapproving tone.

  “No more sketchy than you,” I countered.

  “Do you know his secret?” an irritated Carl asked Kenzie.

  She looked around at everyone’s expectant faces and then squeaked and buried her head in her hands. “I’m not answering that,” she said through her hands.

  “Wait, you told Kenzie your secret and not me?” Dale whined. “Really?”

  “It’s not a secret,” I complained. This was not going as I’d hoped.

  “You want us to trust you in this game, but you lie,” Carl said, actually sounding hurt. What the hell was his problem? Geez, what a colossal wuss!

  “I agree,” Bobby said, no doubt trying to cash in on the friction. “Clearly there are those in the know and those on the outside.”

  Marsha added. “And to think I told you why I don’t wear a bra, and this is how you repay me! So disappointing.”

  “Seriously?” I laughed, but one look around told me no one else found it as ridiculous as I did. In fact, they all seemed genuinely pissed. Why hadn’t I come up with a goddamn lie? I glanced at the disenchantment on Dale’s face. Oh no, not the Cosby look again. “Okay, fine. Jake McKallister is my brother! Are you all happy now?”

  TV Confessional

  “I hardly think my admission is more stunning than Marsha’s shocking revelation.”

  —Kyle

  24

  Kenzie: Bonds That Tie

  Well, people were certainly happy. Kyle’s admission had quite an affect on the tribe. I’d never seen a conversation turn as quickly. The others were getting their pitchforks ready to skewer him for keeping secrets when his revelation spun the discussion on its head. All animosity was forgotten as Kyle was peppered with questions about his famous brother. I now totally got why he kept his last name to himself. It had to be hard to reveal something as innocent as who your brother was and then be bombarded with a hundred questions. I watched Kyle’s face for reactions. He seemed okay when the questions about Jake were superficial, but when they turned personal, there was a clear line drawn, and Kyle’s demeanor changed from patient to defensive.

  “Wait,” Bobby started. “Were you the one with him when he was taken?”

  After a moment of silence, he answered, “Yes.”

  I gaped at him. I knew there was more to him than met the eye, but never could I have predicted such a difficult past. Kyle shifted on his log, suddenly appearing ready to bolt. I wanted to grab his hand and pull him away from the inquisition, but after our newfound awkwardness, I wasn’t sure if he’d welcome that.

  “Damn, so you know what went down, then?” Bobby asked, in a mixture of awe and excitement, as if he really believed he was about to get the inside scoop.

  Kyle nodded his response. I could only imagine the story he had to tell.

  “And you know how he got away?”

  Dale intervened. “That’s private, Bobby.”

  “I wasn’t talking to you, Dale,” Bobby replied condescendingly, before turning to Kyle and saying, “I just want to know how he escaped… how he got the knife.”

  Kyle was struggling to keep it together. With a clenched jaw, he said, “Like I’d talk to you about that.”

  “Why not me?” Bobby asked, as if he and Kyle hadn’t been adversaries from the very beginning.

  “Drop it!”

  There was a warning in Kyle’s demand that halted the conversation completely. A collective silence commenced before Marsha, in her infinite wisdom, broke it with another fact. “Congress made kidnapping a federal crime after the Lindbergh baby was found dead.”

  “Marsha, not right now,” Dale answered.

  “It’s a fact,” she shrugged. “And here’s another one. With your brother being a multi-millionaire, I’d say you don’t really need to win this show.”

  “It’s my brother’s money, not mine.”

  “Yeah, but it’s not like a necessity for you.”

  “It’s not for you either, Marsha,” Kyle lambasted. “You inherited a town from your father.”

  “My money is all tied up. Your brother is beyond rich.”

  “That doesn’t mean anything,” Dale stepped in. “Kyle has as much right to play as anyone else. And as much right to win.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t vote for him.”

  “Me neither,” Bobby added.

  “I’m right here,” Kyle protested, waving his hand around.

  Dale could see Kyle’s stress as plainly as I, and he stepped in for his friend. “Everyone needs to lay off Kyle right now.”

  “Okay. But first, I have one thing to say about this,” Carl blurted out, unexpectedly. He hadn’t said a word since Kyle’s big reveal, but now he turned his giant body toward him and said in the giddiest, fangirl voice he could muster, “This is really exciting for me. Music frees me, and your brother’s songs… they just speak to my soul.”

  Kyle’s eyes bugged out in surprise. He looked at me questioningly as if to ask, Is this guy for real? I shrugged.

  “Are you being serious?” he asked Carl. “I can’t tell.”

  “Have you ever known me to joke?”

  “Good point,” Kyle said, shaking his head. “Wow.”

  “What? I’m a huge fan.” Carl grunted, instantly morphing back to his normal, disengaged self.

  “Well, I’ll be sure to let him know,” Kyle said, and then stood up abruptly. “I need a break.”

  I watched him walk away and jumped from my seat to follow him. He stopped when he heard me coming. Without turning around he said, “What do you want, Kenzie?”

  “Just checking up on you.”

  “Promise me you’ll never become a double agent,” he said, turning to face me.

  “I wasn’t trying to be sneaky. Are you doing okay?”

  He fidgeted back and forth several times, and then stated, “Well, shit… that really wasn’t fun.”

  “Sorry. Bobby was being a dick.”

  “And Marsha too. I’ve always stood up for her, but she just gleefully chucked me under the bus.”

  “I know. She’s got an evil streak in her. We need to watch our backs.”

  “So what was that whole thing with you and Bobby yesterday anyway?”

  “Nothing. I was pissed at you.”

  “I got that.”

  “I thought I could drown out my embarrassment with a double dose of Bobby, but damn, he’s just such a tool.”

  Kyle laughed. “Don’t I know!”

  Feeling guilty for my part in his last two crappy days, I caught his eye and said, “I’m sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have dumped that on you. It’s just a stupid schoolyard crush. And I know it’s one-sided. I promise to keep my mouth shut from now on.”

  “It’s not that, Kenzie. I think you’re a great girl. I just… that’s not why I came here, you know, to meet anyone. It was the furthest thing from my mind. You just took me by surprise is all.”

  “I know. I was being stupid. Every guy I know has been in my life forever. I don’t meet a lot of fresh meat.”

  Kyle grinned. “You understand I could go in so many directions with that statement, right?”

  “Of course.”

  “But Dale says my sexual innuendos are leading you on.”

  “Honestly, Kyle, I’m so deprived of male companionship that you could have entertained me with stories of health insurance and I still probably would have imprinted on you.”

  He smiled.
“So how do you want to handle this? I’ll do whatever you want.”

  “I don’t want things to be weird. Can we just forget that yesterday ever happened?”

  “Thank God,” he said grabbing his chest. “Does that mean I can still make sex jokes?”

  “I’d be bummed if you didn’t.”

  “So do you think it’s going to hurt me? Revealing that information about Jake?”

  “That depends. Do you live in a mansion?”

  Kyle didn’t immediately respond. At least he had the decency to look embarrassed.

  “Seriously?”

  “What? My brother bought my parents a house a few years back. Is that my fault?”

  “No.” I laughed. “But you might want to omit that fact when you’re talking to the others.”

  “You think?” he grumbled. “And I don’t live in a mansion very often. Most of the time I’m in hotels, on the tour bus, or with Jake at his place.”

  “And again, another possible omission.”

  “You don’t approve of my life?” he asked, with an edge to his voice.

  “On the contrary, it sounds amazing. Traveling, concerts, rock stars… I only wish I could be you.”

  “But you think I’m a spoiled brat.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t have to. Everyone here assumes that. You don’t think I know when I’m being judged?”

  “Kyle… I…” I reached out to touch him, but he flinched away.

  “My life hasn’t been picture perfect, Kenzie. I’ve dealt with some hard shit too.”

  I was taken back by the resentment in his voice. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

  “No one ever does.”

  Kyle stomped off, leaving me disbelieving in his wake.

  Marooned Rule #5

  When there are only ten players left, the two tribes merge into one.

  The day was just getting started, and already it sucked. With Kyle pissed at me, I wanted nothing more than to make things right; but then we were called out for an immunity challenge. The East Tribe was down to five members, and we still had six. If we could win this contest, they would be down to four, and we’d go into the merge sitting real pretty. With our six players, we could just pick the Easties off one by one.