by J. Bengtsson
34
Kenzie: Tale of the Triplets
“You okay?” Dad asked.
With my head cupped in my hands, I stared out the window as rain hammered the back porch and drained into pools of water on the oversaturated lawn.
“It’s such a waste,” I moaned.
“What’s a waste?”
“The rain. We get so much, and they don’t get any in the Southern California.”
“They don’t need it. They just steal ours.”
Ah ha! That’s where I got my negative attitudes toward our southern brothers. I frowned at my father.
“But is it really stealing if we have so much we can’t use it all?”
My dad considered my question for a moment, and then apparently coming up with no good explanation, turned his uncertainty to frustration. “I don’t know, Mackenzie, and honestly, I really don’t care.”
“I once accused Kyle of stealing our water to fill his swimming pool.”
My dad gaped at me in surprise. “Why in the hell would you do that?”
“Because he called me a Bigfoot-loving tweaker,” I whined.
“Ha!” Colton exclaimed as he sauntered into the kitchen. “That’s a good one. I like this guy.”
“Kenzie has a guy? Seriously?” Cooper asked, following in after his brother.
“You say that with such shock. Is it so hard to believe?” I asked, slightly offended by the assumption that I couldn’t get a guy.
He shrugged. “I mean, sort of.”
My brothers both laughed at that. Their personalities were as similar as their looks. Back when Mom was undergoing in vitro, she’d had two embryos implanted. One became Caroline and the other split, creating Colton and Cooper. Now sixteen years old, the boys were filled with blustery confidence and mischievous tendencies. The two had gotten into their fair share of mishaps over the years, but in a county where there was nothing for teenagers to do but get in trouble, it wasn’t unusual for teenage boys to be brought home by the local police once in a while. Colton and Cooper were no exception. So far we’d had two visits. Once for cow tipping on the Trayburn farm and another for dumping over garbage cans on trash pick up day. Both offenses required swift retribution. The boys and their friends, were shoveling cow manure for two weeks after the first incident. The second saw the boys picking up every single piece of trash littering the town for a week. I liked to think they’d learned their lesson, but chances were with these two, they hadn’t seen their last police car.
Despite the closeness the boys shared, they fought like two male beta fish stuck in a fishbowl together. It was typically quite a challenge managing their disagreements, which almost always turned physical if a swift resolution could not be brokered. Despite their less than stellar behavior and juvenile delinquent record, they were still my pride and joy. Yes, I was their sister, but my investment in the three of them was more like that of a mother to her children. Their happiness was my most treasured achievement. Leaving them behind to follow my own path was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever do.
“Who called you that, anyway?” Cooper asked.
“This guy I met on the show. You’ll see him once it airs.”
“Is he cute?” Caroline asked, as she bounced in after her brothers. My sister wormed her way onto my lap and curled herself into my arms.
“Yes.” I smiled. “Very.”
“If you have his picture,” Caroline said, with a lazy smile on her face, “I’ll give you his hottie rating.”
About a year ago, Caroline had crossed over into boy crazy territory. She and her girlfriends obsessed over the young male actors in the CW channel shows. I could only imagine what her reaction would be when she found out Kyle’s lineage. For now, I decided to keep that under wraps, as I didn’t have the patience to peel her off the kitchen floor.
“I don’t have a picture. And it doesn’t matter anyway because we aren’t ever going to get together.”
Caroline bolted upright, her eyes ablaze with intrigue. “Why not?”
“Because he hates her,” Colton informed, as if it were no big deal. My heart clenched in response.
“Colton,” Dad scolded.
“How exactly do you know this information?” I asked Colton, but looked to my father in accusation. Another trait I’d obviously inherited from him.
“I overheard you crying to Dad.”
“So naturally you eavesdropped?”
“Naturally.”
“Just exactly how much did you hear?” I asked, flinching.
Colton actually hesitated a moment, rare emotion flashing through his blue eyes. “Enough to know you’re moving away.”
“What?” Caroline blurted out. These rapid releases of information were almost too much for her to handle. “Why?”
I laid out my reasoning to the triplets. They were surprised by the suddenness of my decision. Although it had been years in the making for me, this was the first they’d heard of my desire to leave.
After we’d exhausted the conversation about my impending departure, Caroline asked, “Why does that guy hate you?”
“She sold him out,” Colton informed, shaking his head in disappointment. “Dick move, Kenz.”
“It was more complicated than that,” I said, in a feeble attempt to defend myself.
“Oh, great,” Cooper huffed. “I’ve been bragging about you being on the show to everyone, and now they’re all going to hate you.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t be bragging, Coop. I’m pretty sure by the time this show is over, I’ll be as hated as Ariana Grande.”
“Ariana Grande before or after the doughnut-licking scandal?” Cooper asked in alarm.
“After,” I admitted, cringing in embarrassment.
“Oh, crap.” He got up and ran from the room.
“Where are you going?” I called after him.
“I’ve got to delete my Twitter page.”
I went back to work a week after returning home. My focus was different now. Instead of just going about my day as normal, I was actively preparing for my departure. First on my list was hiring my replacement, and second was getting some new carpeting and windows at our house. Knowing that I had won at least some prize money for coming in the top three on the show, I felt comfortable using what savings I had to pay for home improvements. Left to my father, such repairs would never happen.
I thought about Kyle often during this time, wondering where he was and how he was doing. After giving Dale my number to pass on to him, I had hoped for a call, but as the weeks turned to months, I knew I needed to face the facts. Kyle was gone, and I had to move on for my own good.
A couple weeks after returning home, not only was my earlier television interview aired but also the county paper ran an article about the “Hometown Girl” competing on a popular reality show. In an area where very little changed from year to year, news like this spread quickly and created excitement. Suddenly, I was thrust into the spotlight. Not only was I asked to make appearances at local functions but potential suitors began showing up at my door. Most were the same guys that I’d known forever, but a few were new to me – men from neighboring towns interested in piggybacking on my fifteen minutes of fame. For the briefest moment in time, Mackenzie Williams was the hottest piece of pie in the county, and damned if I wasn’t enjoying my newfound celebrity.
Although I went on a few dates during this time, no guy stood out to me. I caught myself comparing them to Kyle, and that was a big mistake because there just was no comparison. It became clear to me that I’d fallen in love during my time on the show, and getting over Kyle was going to take time. Of course, my obsession with all things McKallister probably slowed my progress. Interestingly enough, Kyle had no presence on the Internet. What guy his age didn’t at least have a Twitter or Instagram page? So, in hopes of getting some idea of where Kyle was, I took to stalking Jake on social media. I figured out his tour schedule and followed along his route through Europe. I also read everything I coul
d find about Jake and his kidnapping, fixated on any mention of Kyle, no matter how miniscule. I knew it was creepy behavior, but it was the one thing that made me feel closer to him.
Seeing him again for the final taping was the only ray of hope for my broken heart. I went through all the scenarios in my head of how that evening could play out, even writing down and memorizing what I wanted to say to him in hopes that I wouldn’t totally choke when we came face to face. In my little fantasy world, Kyle forgave me and we lived happily ever after. The reality, I was sure, would not be as kind.
35
Kyle: A Brother’s Bond
We arrived back in Los Angeles the last week of September into the middle of a heat wave. The Santa Ana winds were whipping up fires all over the southland. Typically I stayed at Jake’s place during the off months of touring, but he’d made it pretty clear to me that my presence was no longer required, or even wanted for that matter. I got it. He was in love with Casey and wanted time alone with her, but at the same time, I didn’t want to move out of my comfortable digs, either. I tried to negotiate an acceptable compromise, but Jake was having none of it. So like the big boy I was, I had my mommy come pick me up and take me home. Damn, I needed to get a place of my own, and soon.
Two days after arriving home, I was packing again, only this time to evacuate. A fire that had been raging for days shifted course and roared over the mountains, coming dangerously close to our place. While my mom and sisters packed the valuables, Dad, Keith, Quinn, and I cut brush around the perimeter of the property and hosed down the roof as the fire barreled toward our neighborhood. Firefighters were hosing down the hills around our house as helicopters were dropping water and retardant. Just as evacuation orders had been issued for our area, the winds shifted suddenly, the fire changed course, and off it went to torment another community. The entire time we were preparing for the worst, I couldn’t get Kenzie’s accusation out of my head. Her damn water might actually have just saved my mansion.
The first episode of Marooned aired the following week, and I went to Jake’s to watch. I figured there’d be less of a chance of being heckled and tormented at his place than at home. Of course, I hadn’t counted on Casey and her wicked sense of humor. She found something embarrassing to comment on every time I was in the shot. It was a cringe-worthy experience seeing myself on television for the first time and even more appalling to relive my stupid antics. It struck me how much I’d changed as a person since stepping off the boat onto the island. I felt stronger and more mature, and I credited the people I’d been with for my growth.
I re-experienced every minute of my time on the show with Dale as my virtual wingman. Texting back and forth obsessively, we speculated on which scenes would air and marveled at what was happening on the other tribe. That was a part of the story we’d never seen. After each show, Dale would remind me to contact Kenzie, and I would always conveniently ignore him.
“Seriously, Kyle, I can’t picture Kenzie betraying you,” Jake said.
“Whaaat?” Casey gasped.
“Jake, what part of ‘You can’t talk about the show’ did you not understand?”
“She betrays you?” Casey whispers, her face shrouded in intrigue. “I promise I won’t tell.”
“No offense, Casey, but you don’t look like you can keep a secret.”
“Me? Are you kidding? I am the most trustworthy person you’ll ever meet. Tell him, Jake,” she said, smacking him in the leg.
“She’s very trustworthy. Trust me,” Jake repeated robotically, then grabbed Casey around the waist and pulled her on top of him. She screamed, laughing as she was jolted back. “Just tell her. She’ll never stop. Will you?”
“Never!” she screeched.
I fake-barfed at their playfulness. There was nothing worse than a happy couple when you yourself were miserable. Not that I was necessarily miserable, but I was still angry and resentful. Watching Kenzie on television had brought back memories of the good times we’d shared, and that, in turn, was making it more difficult to stay mad.
I didn’t tell Casey why I was pissed at Kenzie until the fifth episode. She saw something in Kenzie’s reaction to me that caught her off guard.
“She’s in love with you,” Casey stated, matter-of-factly.
“What?” I asked, although I’d heard exactly what she’d said.
“What happened to make her betray you? From what I can tell, her feelings for you are genuine.”
I spent the next few minutes telling her the story as best as I knew it. I still didn’t understand Kenzie’s reasoning other than she was doing it to secure her family’s future.
“Wow, this is getting good.” Jake leaned over, grabbing some popcorn and shoving it in his mouth. “If you want my advice, I think you should forgive her already.”
“Well, actually, I didn’t ask for your advice, so shut up.”
“I’m with Jake,” Casey added.
“Shocker.”
“I’m serious, Kyle. I like her. She’s got spunk, and you two have mad chemistry. Too bad you hate her so much,” she said.
“Yeah, too bad,” I mumbled.
“I’m just bummed I’m having surgery right in the middle of this. You have to keep it recorded for me,” he informed Casey.
“You know I will. But I think we need to have an intervention before you go under the knife.”
“For me?” Jake asked, seemingly confused as to why he’d need one.
“No, your brother and his Kenzie. Kyle, give me her number and I’ll set it up.”
“Oh right and will you be present at this intervention?”
“Of course. I’ll be the mediator and we’ll talk it out… like adults. And Jake can be…” she paused, no doubt attempting to invent a role in her little fantasy psychotherapy session for my brother. “You can be the entertainment.”
“That’s it? Are you saying I have no useful talents other than being amusing?” Jake protested.
“Nothing I can think of, anyway,” she said flippantly.
“No?” he flirted. She shook her head, laughing, and once again the two delved into their cutesy shit, verbally sparring for the next five minutes.
I was seconds away from smacking both of them up top the head until Casey came up for air and said, “Seriously, though, Kyle, you need to make up with that girl. She’s perfect for you.”
And as the season went on, my anger faded. I wanted to see her again. Maybe Casey’s mediation wasn’t a bad idea. The longer I went without seeing her, the more I couldn’t remember why I was mad. I’d decided that as soon as Jake’s knee replacement surgery was over, I was going to contact her and work things out, maybe even make a trip to Humboldt County to see her. One of the changes I’d made was trying to be more mature, and that applied to my relationships too. Maybe it was too late for more than just a friendship with her, but I had to try.
Unfortunately, that moment never arrived. Jake suffered some life-threatening complications after surgery, which plunged him into a coma and me into a nightmare of epic proportions. My newfound strength crumbled as the fear of losing him overwhelmed me. Once again my brother was struggling for his life, and I, as always, was standing on the sidelines, powerless to help him.
I wandered through the hospital those first few days, unsure of what to do or how to feel. I was just numb. It seemed as though my life had been a series of circles, always connecting back at the same spot. Three times I had felt this level of terror and dread, and all those instances revolved around Jake. The hell of not knowing, those days after he was taken; the shock of his return and the realization that the hollowed out shell of a person he’d become would be our new norm; and then this damn surgery and the very real possibility that it would end his short and tragic life.
I didn’t sleep much during this time. The nightmares had come back full force. I could no longer close my eyes without seeing Jake’s own imploring ones. That was always the point in the nightmare where I screamed in my head and force
d myself awake. The moment I hated remembering. His eyes. It was the last thing I saw of him before he was ripped from my life. And they spoke to me. I knew what he’d wanted in those desperate moments, what he was pleading for me to do, but I’d struggled to follow his direction. I couldn’t leave him. But that look he gave me… it was clear. He wanted me to run. Jake’s last act before going to what he could only have assumed would be his grave was saving me.
36
Kenzie: The Apology
I watched Marooned along with every other person in my hometown. It wasn’t that the show was over-the-top popular in our area; it was the fact that one of their own was competing in it. Viewing parties had cropped up all over the county, and my presence was often requested. I’d thought it would be tough to watch myself on television in front of so many people, but the support of my friends, neighbors, and townspeople was overwhelming, even after my very public on-air confession that I was unhappy living here and wanted to move away.
Thankfully the volcano of vomit never made it onto the show, but the zombie shuffle and my meet cute with Kyle on that first day did. Watching us together on TV made me fall in love with him all over again. And our interactions made for entertaining television, as audiences seemed to love our moments together. Kyle and I, and the rest of the Dork Quad, became instant fan favorites. The positive reaction toward me was surprising. I knew people would love Kyle and Dale, but I never imagined I would be part of that goodwill. Although the moment I dreaded – the backstab heard ’round the reality TV world – would surely put an end to all the positive feedback being thrown my way.