Never Should Have Loved You

by Tierra Ashley

  The pills were already starting to kick in, giving me a euphoric calm feeling. I was glad that the pain was stopping, glad my mind was calming and getting rid of all of my crazy thoughts. I didn’t want to feel any more pain. I had already hurt the only person who gave a damn about me and Naomi didn’t even know it. I just hoped that Marcus would never tell; never tell how I had betrayed her and smiled in her face like I was a real friend.

  Naomi had done so much for me over the years. There was no excuse for my actions. I wished I could tell her that Marcus was no good for her. Wished I could tell her that she deserved a better man than his scum ass. He was a fool to think that I would ever be with him, and I was a dumb bitch for even entertaining him.

  My phone rang; it was Naomi. I didn’t answer it, I just watched as my phone blinked with her name. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to be left alone so the beating in my head would stop. I took another swig of Vodka. Xanax and alcohol was a deadly combination and I had mixed them on purpose. I knew that security cameras would have my license plates and link me to the hit and run eventually. I just didn’t want to be around for the police to come knocking.

  I thought about writing a goodbye note, but I knew nobody would miss me. I thought about writing a note to tell Naomi about Marcus; to warn her of his disloyalty, but I had decided against it. I sat there rocking back and forth until my body became so numb I couldn’t feel my face. I tumbled over face first onto the floor.

  Gradually, I felt my heart rate begin to slow. Maybe I’ll wake up or maybe I won’t. I wasn’t sure of the outcome of the toxic mix of pills and alcohol that I had taken. I only knew that my eyes were closing and I felt extremely sleepy. If it was the sleep for eternity, I was just fine with that. I prayed it was the sleep for eternity.

  Jerome

  Five days later...

  I was sitting in the church pew listening to the eulogy at my mother’s funeral. I didn’t want to be there. I wanted nothing more than to be at the hospital holding Whitney’s hand. When Marcus called me from the ambulance telling me that Whitney had been struck by a car, I stumbled and fell over the couch trying to get outside to my mom's car. By the time I got to the hospital, the doctors had already put her in a medically induced coma to stop her from having seizures.

  From the way Marcus was acting, I had guessed that Whitney never made it to tell him about Naomi and me, which made me suspicious of Naomi. I had told her to let me handle Whitney, now she had gone and did some foul shit I could never forgive her for. I was sure by the tone in Whitney’s voice that night she was going to reconsider and come to my house instead of ratting me out to Marcus. If it was one thing I knew how to do it was handle my woman, and Naomi jumped the gun and made things a hundred times worse. I hated her for what she had done to Whitney.

  The funeral continued on with distant relatives and my brother getting up to say a few words about the love they had for my mother. I had no love for her. She had made everyday living under her roof, hell for me ever since dad died, and I was only at her funeral to save face. I watched as Naomi and Marcus sat next to each other like they were a real couple; like they were supporting each other through this so-called difficult time. But the one person who was supposed to be supporting me was in the hospital fighting for her life.

  I was angry at myself for how I had treated and talked to Whitney. How could I have been so selfish? Everything that I was trying to accomplish with Naomi was null and void at this point.

  The ceremony ended and everyone started to get up to talk to each other and to get ready for the repast. I wasn’t going to stay for the repast, I was going to dip out and head to the hospital to be with Whitney. The first chance Naomi got to break away from Marcus, she walked over to me and pulled me to the side so we could speak in private.

  “How have you been? I haven’t heard from you in a few days,” she said with wide eyes.

  “You know how I’ve been. I’ve been fucked up over what you did.”

  “Jerome, what are you talking about? I know you don’t think I did that to Whitney?” She looked hurt at my accusation.

  “She told me that you showed up at her house and you two had a fight. I told you to let me handle her,” I said through a clinched jaw.

  “Yeah I went to her house to talk, but she attacked me so I drove away.”

  “You drove away or you drove over her? Which is it?” I snapped.

  “I swear to God I didn’t touch her. I left and went home to call Marcus to try and convince him to come home so he wouldn’t go talk to her,” she whispered for only me to hear.

  “Don’t swear…we’re in a church,” I shot back at her.

  “Jerome, I’m telling the truth.”

  “Then who else would run her over? Who would have a reason other than you?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it was an accident, a coincidence.”

  “Bullshit! The witnesses said it looked intentional.”

  “Do they have a description of the car?” Naomi asked trying to talk her way out of it, but I wasn’t buying her story. She had made it very clear that night she was going to see Whitney to stop her from telling Marcus and then she actually showed up at her apartment. Then a few minutes later Whitney is run down. Naomi was guilty and more disgusting than I imagined her to be.

  “Fuck you,” I said trying to walk away from her, but she grabbed my arm.

  “Jerome, please believe me. I would never hurt anybody,” she pleaded with me. I could see Marcus in the distance talking to some family members, but glancing over at me and Naomi having a conversation.

  “Go to hell Naomi,” I whispered and snatched my arm away from her and walked away. I didn’t give a fuck who saw the angry expression on my face. I was so hurt that my baby was lying in the hospital that I was going crazy just watching her lay there not moving. If Whitney didn’t pull through this, Naomi and Marcus were both going to pay. I had already planned on making Marcus pay for everything he had taken from me and making Naomi pay for being disloyal and not waiting for me, but now I had a whole new set of tricks up my sleeve to make them hurt. Neither one of them knew what I was capable of. If Naomi had never hurt Whitney she might have made it out alive; now I didn’t care whether she lived or died.

  I walked outside and the sun beamed down on my face. My cell phone rang; it was Michelle.

  “How is the funeral?” she asked.

  “I’m leaving.”

  “Aww, you not going to bring me any cake?” she said sweetly.

  “I’m not in the mood right now for you to play. I’m headed to see about Whitney.”

  “Sorry. I know you're stressing right now. How is she?”

  “She's not looking to good,” I said as I unlocked my mom's car door and got in.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Come see me afterwards. We need to talk about this Marcus situation.”

  “I agree. I need to talk about a few things concerning Naomi as well.”

  “You really think she did that to Whitney, huh?”

  “I know she did. Stupid bitch just changed everything,” I said pulling out of the parking lot.

  “Damn.” Michelle got silent for a moment like she was thinking. "That Lisa girl is dead too…committed suicide. Neighbors found her body yesterday.”

  “Fuck her. She would’ve messed things up anyway. We need a new plan. The old one with Marcus going to jail for conspiring to kill Naomi and then me and Naomi living happily ever after is over. I want something that includes the both of them,” I said with conviction in my voice.

  “I’ll figure something out,” Michelle said.

  “Cool. I’ll talk to you later,” I told her as I hung up.

  I was angry; I was vengeful. I drove down the highway headed toward the hospital to be by Whitney’s side. I just wished Whitney would’ve stayed away. Why didn’t her ass just leave me alone? She didn’t deserve any of the bad shit that happened to her.

  I thought about how smoothly the plan had been going. I
had Michelle take the money out of the business account and put it in an account that I had access to. She had changed over all of the bills into Naomi's name so she would have to suffer financially for not waiting to be with me when I came back from the military. When all the court cases and bills finally piled on top of Naomi’s head, I would come to her rescue and help her out with her own money, but not until after Marcus ended up in jail for conspiring to murder Naomi.

  I wanted Marcus to pay for those days I sat in that jail cell for him over daddy’s death. I wanted him to pay for not coming to visit me or write me. I wanted him to pay for telling all of those lies to mama and making her hate me. I wanted him to pay for sleeping with my woman, even if he didn’t know Naomi used to be my woman. But now I wanted Naomi to pay for hurting Whitney, and only physical pain would be equal to what she had done to Whit.

  Whatever love that I once had for Naomi was now gone. I was cold when it came to her. She had disobeyed me twice by not listening. When I left for the military, I told her to wait for me, but she didn’t listen. I told her to leave Whitney alone and let me handle her, but she didn’t listen to that either. That was precisely Naomi’s problem.

  She always had to be in charge and do things her own way and never listened until after she already fucked things up. She deserved whatever bad shit she had coming to her; but I was glad I had Michelle on my side. We had met when we were both in the military. She came home and went to law school, but I knew she was down for me because I had saved her life twice when we were overseas. If I asked her to do something she would do it, no questions asked. I didn’t know what I was going to do next, but Marcus and Naomi were both the target of my rage.

  Thank you for Reading!

  I hope you enjoyed the story. Stay tuned to find out what happens next in Part Two

  Click here to follow me on Facebook for Updates!

  Thank you,

  Tierra Ashley