“Bria? I’m here about Mia, remember Mia?”
A smirk crossed his face. “Ah, Mia, yeah?” And before another thought could cross his mind, I wiped that smirk off his face with my fist to his jaw. Jude’s neck twisted before his body did, but I grabbed his shirt and slammed him back against the wall.
“Does this look like a bloody game to you? I’m in no mood for rubbish, you piece of shit. Start talking.”
“You got it bad for her I see,” he pushed me off him and held up a hand, “I haven’t touched the girl. Well … no … I take that back. Perhaps I touched her,”—he brought his thumb and pointer finger in the air, hardly touching them together— “but only a little.”
In a hot flash, rage erupted, and my angry fist punched his gut, knocking the air from his lungs. Jude keeled over with a hand over his stomach.
Violence wasn’t usually my first attempt at conversation, but this bloke had tested my patience, and I had none left. “You told detail where to find a key,” I clenched his shirt in my fist and pulled him upright, “How’d you know about a key?”
Jude looked past me and sucked in a defeated breath. “A note, alright?”
“A note?”
He pushed his hand into the pocket of the black jeans painted on him and pulled out a folded piece of paper before shoving it into my chest. “A bloody note.”
“Where did you get this from?” I asked as I opened it, and my eyes swiftly skimmed over the tattered paper. The letter was simple: Tell Lynch the key is in Mia’s dorm or everyone will know. “Know what? What are you hiding?” I narrowed my eyes.
“I found it in my dorm,” he dabbed his hand over his mouth, blood dripping over his already swelling lip. “That’s all you need to know.”
“Not good enough,” I stepped closer, securing him still with a warning glare.
He jerked his head to the side, whipping his black hair off his shoulder. “It doesn’t concern you.”
“If it concerns Mia, it concerns me. You weaseled your way into this mess over some threat you will tell me about.”
Jude laughed and looked off. “I get it now. You love her.” He shook his head swiped a loose strand behind his ear. “Let me tell you something about love … love only leads to disappointment. Take my advice and run. Nothing good comes of it. Find yourself a couple cows, take the fanny, and shut off your feelings because love only ends in one way: excruciating pain.” He slid down the building until his arse hit the ground and retrieved another fag from his pocket. “It’s not worth it,” he added.
I should’ve seen it before. Dropping my hands over my hipbones, I glanced down at the bloke who unraveled before my eyes. “Why are you here, Jude?”
He smiled, took a drag between his fingers, and dropped his head back. “You wouldn’t understand,” he muttered as smoke seeped from between his lips.
“Try me.”
He glanced up and winced from the sun. “I fucked up,” he shrugged, flicking the ash between his bent knees, “pissed and coming back from a do, totaled the car, barely made it out alive. The worst part about it? I did make it out alive. I wished I didn’t. Wished I could trade places with her. I’d give up everything to bring her back, even my own life.”
“Fuck,” I exhaled and threaded my fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry, mate.”
Jude hung his head. “Sorry’s’ are for when people don’t have anything else to say but have a need to fill the awkward space. Rather you’d say nothing at all.”
“You’re right.” I almost felt bad for punching him. Almost. “You made a mistake. You’re paying your price. No reason to punish yourself more. God knows you’re going through hell. You think she’d like what you’re doing to yourself right now?”
“Fuck you. Don’t talk like you know her.”
I nodded and looked around. “I know she didn’t die so you could pound into some pussy, wallow in your sorrows, and treat girls like they’re property.”
He stood and pulled the fag from his lips. “Easy for you to say, yeah?”
“It is easy. Plain and fucking simple.”
“And if it were Mia?”
“I wouldn’t have been so goddamn stupid in the first place.”
“You’re a real charmer, you know that?” He blew out smoke and dropped his head back against the wall behind him. “We should’ve left it with ‘sorry.’”
I held up the note in my hand. “I’m keeping this.”
Jude waved his hand before bringing the fag back to his lips, and I turned to walk back inside. The chap was harmless. A complete and utter wreck, but harmless. This had been his way of dealing with the grief of his love’s death. A death he had caused.
A pit formed in my stomach at the thought of losing Mia because of something I’d done, and Jude’s grief rubbed off on me, growing this sickness inside me until it became unmanageable. Before reaching the doors back into Dolor, I posted up against the stone wall to catch my bearings from the dizzy spell taking over. I pinched my eyes together and drew in a deep breath, and counted to three. My emotional intensity was in full swing. The pills were officially out of my system.
Scott waited inside the building beside the doors. “And?” He asked as I walked by.
“Dead end.”
“Like I said,” Scott scoffed from behind as he walked down the hall behind me. “Where you headed?”
“I’m going to see Lynch.”
“Masters!” Scott called out.
I ignored him and continued my stride toward the stairs.
Scott yanked me by the arm and spun me around. “You think he’s going to sit back and ‘hear you out?’ Have you lost your bloody mind?”
“Get off me,” I cautioned, eyeing his hand on my bicep. Scott released me and I turned my attention down the hall. “I have nothing left to lose, and I’m not letting her spend another night in the hole for something she didn’t do.” I continued forward. My only goal was to get Mia out of there. Scott followed close behind, his loud boots against the floor reminded me with every step. “You don’t have to babysit, Scott. I believe I can make it to Lynch’s in one piece.”
“You need an escort,” he muttered behind me. “Plus, I wouldn’t miss this show for anything.”
I didn’t bother knocking and pushed through Lynch’s door. The lights in his office were dimmed, curtains closed, and the chap snapped from his desk, startled.
“Have a nice nap?” I asked, and dropped in the chair across from him.
Lynch sprung to his feet, his attention jumped from me to Scott with surprised brown eyes. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Mia’s being set up,” I pulled the note from my pocket and tossed it over his desk, “She doesn’t belong in there.”
His eyes dropped to the note before returning to me. A single exhale left him as he fixed his shirt and retook his chair. “I was wondering how long it would take before you showed up here. If my calculations are correct, you’re a day late,” he sneered.
“Fuck your calculations. Release her!” I snapped, running on thin ice, withdrawal, and desperation. At the corner of my eye, Scott took a step forward, and Lynch held up a palm in the air to stop him. “We both know she’s a target in a bloody game, and Jude only a pawn. I’m sure there’s another one out there who planted the key. The only way to draw this arsehole out is to get Mia back in her dorm.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to suck them right back in. I hadn’t thought this through. Mia was safe in solitary. No one could touch her there. But what if Lynch was forced to hand her over to authorities?
“She’ll be on twenty-four-hour watch,” Scott added. I didn’t bother turning to face him, kept my sights fixed on Lynch and took notice in the changing expression crossing his face. The thought of Scott tailing Mia twenty-four-fucking-seven wasn’t on my bucket list, but it was the onl
y way. My knee bounced from the new plan unraveling, and I pressed my palm over it, trying to keep my emotions in check.
It’d been too long since Lynch spoke, but then finally … “And you’ll be the one to watch her?” he asked, looking past me to Scott.
I turned in my chair for the first time and Scott looked to me then back at Lynch. “No, sir. Not me.”
My brows raised. “What do you mean, not you? You already fancy the girl, may as well watch her, yeah?”
Scott narrowed his eyes. “I have a duty to uphold. Ten patients to look after. I don’t have time to be Jett’s personal bodyguard.”
“Duty?” I asked in disbelief and stood. “If you were watching her in the first place, none of this would’ve happened. The dead cat in her room, the glass in her mattress … all of it could’ve been avoided if you did your bloody job,” I turned to Lynch, “You know about that right? While you were sound asleep, Mia fell over her mattress only to be sliced open by planted glass. Her entire back scarred!” I turned back to Scott, “Where were you then?”
“What is he talking about?” Lynch asked Scott.
Scott took long strides toward me and jabbed a finger against his heaving chest. “I carried her! And for four hours I pulled out each piece of glass, one by one—
“Enough!” Lynch slammed a fist into his desk and his name plate bounced to the floor. Scott took a step back, and red burned in his eyes. Eventually, this would have come to a head. “I hired you to look after her!” Lynch shouted.
Those words grabbed me, and I slid my eyes back to Lynch. Look after her? “You mean watch her, right? Because if I didn’t say so myself, it sounds like you fucking care about her. Which I know isn’t true. In everyone’s eyes, Mia is the spawn of Satan, here to cause destruction and stir the pot, or at least it’s how she’s treated.”
“You know what I meant,” Lynch corrected.
“No, I don’t know.” My temples pounded from it all. “All I know is, Mia is getting out, and I’ll look after her. I don’t trust anyone.”
Lynch laughed and fell into his chair. “This is great. The blind leading the blind,” he said through a humorless chuckle. “I’ve been working here too bloody long. Accounting keeps sounding better and better.”
I flexed my jaw and leaned into his desk. “This funny to you?” my arms picked up a shake, and I closed my hands into a fist. “Release her, or so help me God, the next person to be investigated is you.”
“Masters,” Scott stated and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“No fuck that,” I shook him off, “this whole place is a fucking joke.”
“This place is the only reason you’re not in jail, and Mia not in some mental institution in the states,” Lynch reminded me. “I’ll release her, but threaten me like that again, I’ll make sure your next home is the inside of a jail cell.” A few beats of silence and heavy breathing passed before Lynch turned his attention over to Scott. “You will be watching her, Ethan. One mistake by either one of them, they’ll both be sent away for good on Oliver’s account.”
“What about the police?” Scott asked through gritted teeth.
Lynch picked up the note and dropped it into his desk drawer. “I’ll do my job, you do yours,”—he slammed his drawer shut— “Now get out of my office.”
As soon as Scott and I exited and the door closed behind us, he stopped me in the hall. “That was an ace move,” he took a step closer, “but if you cock-up my plans here, I won’t hesitate to take you out.”
“The only person you’re taking out is Mia from confinement. Then I’ll be the one to look after her. I don’t trust you, and you sliding into her fucking bed at night because of her night terrors days are over. Next time, you come get me.”
The office door opened, and Lynch poked his head through, eyes bouncing between the standoff in the hallway. “Did you skip your meds after lunch today, Masters?”
I had forgotten the charade I had to keep up with. “I’ll go now.”
Trusting Ethan’s next moves were to the basement, I shoved my hands in my pockets and took off.
The new nurse had her back turned toward me at her desk when I arrived, flipping through paperwork clipped on a clipboard, and I dropped my shoulder against the wall and cleared my throat. The nurse turned in her chair and looked up at me. Blonde hair, brown roots, and bright red lipstick greeted me. Then she smiled, and her teeth glowed against the red shade. The nurse was young, and I wondered what she was doing in a place like this.
Her eyes dropped to my knob in my joggers, and I shifted in place. “My pills.”
The nurse’s gaze jumped back to my face, and her smile faded. “Oh, right. Oliver Masters?”
I raised my arms out at my sides. “In the flesh.”
“Are you going to give me trouble?”
“No, ma’am. Had more important things to take care of,” I explained. She raised a brow, and my eyes flitted to the badge hanging from her neck. Saunders. She uncrossed her legs, her skirt rising in the process, and sweat split at my hairline. “Let’s get on with it. I haven’t got all day.”
Nurse Saunders stood and walked to her medicine cart. Only a few cups sat over the top tier. “I’m sorry to hear about Rhonda. The lady you had yesterday was a fill-in, but I’ll be the permanent nurse.” She bent over, and I dropped my head back to face the ceiling. Saunders turned and took a step toward me. “You can call me Poppy.”
I dropped my chin, and our eyes met. “Thanks, Saunders.”
“Need water?”
“Nope.” I tipped the cup back and forced them down, squeezed the cup in my fist and threw it in the trash before leaving.
“See you tomorrow,” she called out before I slipped past the door and headed straight for the loo. I wasted no time to get this poison out of me before it entered my system.
mia.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, eyeing Ethan suspiciously from the corner of the room. My knees pressed harder against me inside Ollie’s white tee. The shirt still smelled like him. The smell of the ocean. The smell of freedom.
“Masters can be pretty convincing. Now let’s go,” Ethan mumbled and waved me out. I pushed up to my feet and took a step off the mattress. Lynch was letting me go? Just like that? I narrowed my eyes in Ethan’s direction, wondering what the catch was, and Ethan’s shoulders sank. “What is it?”
“Under what conditions?” I asked.
He raised a brow. “No conditions.”
“Nothing?” I let out a disbelieving laugh. “What’s changed?”
“Like I said … ” Ethan took a step forward and held out his hand, “Your bloke is convincing. Now let’s go.”
I relaxed my arms at my sides and followed him out. “I need to shower,” I stated in passing.
Ethan walked me back to my room to collect my things to shower before dinner started. We hadn’t talked about what happened between us, or what didn’t get to happen. Ethan was hurt; I saw it in his eyes. The rejection transmitted from him, a flashing yellow light.
The community bathroom was empty. Ethan stayed back against the door as I undressed, stepped under the water, and took my time.
The warm water felt incredible as I hadn’t showered in days.
“You want to talk about what happened?” Ethan asked, startling me. His voice came from right outside the curtain. “I don’t want things to be weird between us.”
“Things aren’t weird. You’re the one making them weird,” I pointed out.
“I see it now. I didn’t before, but I get it.”
I turned the water off and grabbed my towel. “Get what?”
“This thing between you and Masters. Hell, I haven’t even seen the two of you together, but I don’t have to. Every word Masters speaks, every look in his eyes, every time he takes a bloody breath … ”—Ethan exhaled— “It’s all you, Mi
a. All I hear, see, and feel is you. You’re mixed in him, and if you dropped dead, I wouldn’t be surprised if Master’s heart gave up along with yours. It’s fucking weird, Jett, and hard to explain.” He paused, and I’d been standing wrapped in the towel, dripping wet and stunned by his words. “Fuck, I sound like—
“He got to you,” I finally said.
“Huh?”
I opened the curtain, and Ethan dropped his head to the side to face me as he rolled his shoulder against the tile beside my stall. “Ollie has that effect on people. He makes you believe in the impossible.”
“I barely talked to him.”
“That’s the thing with Ollie … you don’t even have to speak to him. You just have to know him.”
“He pisses me off,” Ethan muttered, and we both shared a laugh. “You think I’ll ever find someone like that?”
I raised a brow. “Like Ollie?”
Ethan rolled his eyes and lifted off the tile, turning to face me fully. “No. Someone who makes me feel the same way Masters feels about you.”
My gaze drifted. Before, I didn’t believe in any of this at all, it was crazy to think how much had changed in the year and a half I’d been here. “Yeah, I do.”
“It’s a shame it couldn’t have been you.”
“Trust me. When you do find her, you’ll be thanking me.”
Out of solitary, freshly showered, and stomach rumbling, Ethan and I walked together to the mess hall. We stopped at the entryway, and I scanned over the crowd. Bria and Tyler sat on both sides of Jude at my old table with Jake kicked to the end. All eyes found me, and though Bria forced her gaze away, Jake held mine, and a small glimmer appeared in his eyes before it instantly dulled. My gaze made its journey, stopping at Maddie and Gwen, and Maddie held up her fist and flipped me off.
The old me would’ve returned the favor. Instead, I did nothing and my eyes carried on with their journey across the room.
I felt him before my eyes found him. He was somewhere in the room, and my entire body hummed to his wavelengths. I didn’t have butterflies in my stomach. No. This feeling was a couple dozen phoenix’s rising from their ashes.
Even When I'm Gone (Stay With Me series Book 2) Page 20