“You’re a lucky bastard. I should drag your arse out of here,” Scott snapped, pushing against my chest. “Now calm the fuck down, yeah?” Scott fixed his shirt as he scanned the empty hall.
My stomach churned, threatening to reveal the fact I’d been chucking up my pills since my last visit to Dr. Conway. I closed my hands into fists to bite back the honest tremors.
Something wasn’t right. I’d shown up to the nurse’s station to see Rhonda gone and a new nurse handing me over my cup with a chipper smile on her face, and my love unseen and unheard of in two days.
“I want her out just as bad as you,” Scott admitted, evening out his hushed tone. His fingers flew to his temples.
“Out of where? Where is she? Psych?”
“Confinement.”
“What the hell for?”
“You’re kidding, right? Have you been so fucked in the head,”—he pushed against my temple with his pointer finger— “you have no idea what she’s been through.”
I slapped his hand away and pushed past him. “I have to go to her.”
Scott grabbed my arm, but quickly released it as a student walked past from lunch. “It’s more complicated than that. You can’t just show up in solitary and demand to see her. You want her out? Find out who threw a spanner in the works. Find out who put the newbie in the hospital. Someone,” he lowered his tone, “someone stole Rhonda’s key, switched pills, and planted the key in Mia’s room.”
“Did you happen to start with who opened their mouth on where this said key was? Ace, Scott, I thought you were the fucking cop.”
“Dead end,” he replied dryly.
“Right,” I shook my head. “Give me the name.”
“Fuck off.”
I shoved him against the wall, my nerves ticking, body shaking, this wanker under my last nerve. “This isn’t a contest, she’s no prize to be won.” I wrapped my fingers around his neck and pinned him with a glare. The prick scratched at my hands. “Give me the bloody name.”
Ethan gasped, surprised by my strength, but it was the adrenaline pumping through my veins, giving me the ability to take a guy the same height, same muscle, but unequally matched with his experience and training. It was the thought of Mia. Her being alone in confinement, a place I visited too many times to know she’d been alone, trapped, in the four walls I previously helped her escape from. Before, I’d let the bloke beat me because I deserved it, this time it was Mia who had been stomped on, and she didn’t deserve any of this.
“Jude,” Ethan fought out. I released him, and his eyes turned red.
“You’re going to take me to her.”
“Like hell I will.”
“You think Lynch would take kindly to his security guard’s slumming it with his patients? I’m not a fool. I know whose bed you sneak into each night, and how frustrated it makes you that it’s all that will ever happen. Tonight, you’re taking me to see her or I’ll be in the dean’s office first thing in the morning.”
“I could ruin you.”
I dusted off the front of his shirt. “I’m already fucking ruined.”
The clock struck midnight, and I’d been in this same position for almost four hours now, sitting at the edge of my mattress waiting on Scott to unlock my door. The single door click meant everything. It meant I had been right all along, and Scott, for the past, I didn’t know how long, had been lying beside Mia while she slept through the night—feeling her touch, smelling her scent, watching her dream.
But it also meant I’d get to see her.
The kiss we’d shared was everything. It had been confirmation Mia still believed in us, a silent promise. It was the one thing I held onto to know for certain she’d never cross that line with anyone else. Though what if I was wrong? If she had, I’d be able to forgive her. Because just as much as she was all-consuming, she was imperfect and honest—the representation of love. Consuming. Imperfect. Honest.
The door clicked, and I sprang to my feet, unsure whether I was pleased or not with the outcome. Scott stood on the other side with a blank stare.
I gave one hard look at the bloke who shared moments with Mia that were meant for me. Moments I’d given him on a silver platter because of my stupidity. I couldn’t blame him. I would have done the same. If anyone understood what falling in love with her was like, it would be me.
Scott stared back, the muscles in his face tightened in the dark. “She loves me, but she’s in love with you.”
I smirked despite the jealousy clouding my heart. “I could’ve told you that.”
“How are you so bloody certain you’re it for her.”
“You’re asking me to explain the impossible, like taste a feeling or hear a touch. When we’re together, I just fucking know.”
“One night. That’s it.”
“Just take me to her.”
With one hand, Scott held the door open to let me pass.
He led the way one step in front of me through the dark hallways. Only one bulb lit the end of each turn. He snuck me past wing three, distracting security detail in the process. Once I reached the stairs, I hung back to wait for him and swiped my hands through my hair.
I’d done this same escape last year, Oscar leading me out and across Dolor grounds to check on Mia in the looney bin. I’d never told him her name, afraid he’d find a way to meddle or use her against me. Oscar had a way with words and a knack for control. Keeping the two hidden from each other had been the best decision. Little did I know, they’d already met in more ways than one.
“We’re clear,” Ethan whispered, appearing from around the corner. I lifted off the wall, adjusted my sweats, and followed him down.
Once we reached the basement, he turned and held up a palm. “Stay here.”
I dropped my chin as he took off behind the steel door. Nerves set in as my body grew closer to hers, every part of me pulling in her direction like it always did, but forcing myself to stand still.
The sound of a door shutting echoed through the chamber, and seconds later, the steel door opened, and Scott ushered me through. “Had to convince the guy to take over my wing tonight. I’ll be out here, but you have to be back in your dorm by sunrise.”
“I understand.”
Scott walked me through the hall until we reached another door, and we stood in front of it. Soft cries came from inside, and I jerked my head in his direction. “Somethings wrong.”
“This is how it always starts. It’s a nightmare.”
“A nightmare?”
Scott paused with a key in the doorknob to meet my eyes. “It gets worse. She’s had them ever since the day you left. Imagine having to listen to it every bloody night.”
“You’ve been helping her?” I asked, surprised.
“Trying.”
The cries turned into screams, and my focus bounced from Ethan to his keys. “Get me in there.”
Ethan snapped his eyes back to the doorknob and jiggled the key to get the door opened. I busted through and ran to her side.
In the dark, cold room, her small frame shook, drenched and hot with her hands into a fist. “Mia,” I whispered, brushing my hand over her hair. I looked back to Scott to see him gone and the door ajar. “Wake up, my love. Open your eyes.”
Every scream from her lips grabbed my own emotions and shook them harshly. I dropped my head into my hand and clenched my eyes when I felt a hand over my shoulder. I glanced up to see Scott standing over me with a towel in his hand. Snatching it from his grasp, I turned back to Mia and smoothed it over her glistening forehead. “Mia, open your eyes for me.”
“Ollie?” She cried out.
My heart clenched, and a breath left me at the mention of my name. “Yeah, love. It’s me. I’m here.” Her eyes slowly blinked open, and the color shifted from a black to a golden brown instantly. “It’s alright.”
She scanned the room as her body shakes turned into a shiver. “Where am I?”
I looked around. “Where do you want to be?”
When her eyes met mine again, a weak smile flashed across her face. “How did you get here?”
“Funny story,” I tilted my head, “Your boyfriend let me in.”
Her smile vanished, brows pinched together. “That’s not funny.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“You had enough going on. I didn’t want to burden you with nightmares.”
“That’s nonsense.” I withdrew my hoodie and sat over the mattress beside her. “No matter what, you can always talk to me. You know better than that.” After stretching out my legs, I pulled her up and over me so her head could lay in my lap. My fingers slipped under her shirt and I ran them down her back. Scrapes and marks protruded beneath my fingers, and I lifted her tank and leaned in to get a closer look. “What in the hell … ”
“It’s nothing,” Mia’s voice broke and pulled away from my grasp.
It wasn’t nothing. My touch knew every detail of her skin. Those had been scars. Fresh scars. Ones I’d never touched before. “Take off your shirt,” I demanded with a rattled tone as I silently prayed I had been wrong. Please, God, tell me I’m wrong.
Mia faced me with humiliation in her eyes, and I tried to control my emotions from spilling out. “Mia,” I urged, and for a moment, she hesitated, but then sat up and took off her shirt. The room was dark, and she turned her back toward me. I tilted her enough to hit the red blinking light coming from the corner of the room when I noticed scars covering her. “What the fuck happened?” She hung her head, and my stomach twisted into knots. “Mia? How the hell did this happen? Who did this to you?”
Mia’s lips trembled, and she lifted her head to the ceiling, trying to curb all weakness.
I picked her up and slid her into my lap, facing me. Her legs wrapped around me while her arms unwrapped from over her chest. I yanked my shirt off and pulled her against me, needing to be close without barriers. Mia released an exhale into my neck, and her fingers scratched at the back of my head. “I’m not okay,” she cried. “I’m not. I can’t do it anymore … ”
“Listen to me,” I pulled her head away to look at me, “I’m done listening to your stupid ideas about keeping us apart. We were not meant to be apart. Do you understand that?” Mia bit her trembling lip, and I grabbed her chin. “Anything that happens to you, happens to me. Every blow, every setback, every burn, every bloody beating. You are not alone in this. You hurt, I hurt. You’re in pain, I’m in pain. Whatever you go through, I feel it because you’re a part of me. We’re in this together.”
Mia’s fingers gripped my sides, and I moved the hair from her face. “I’m not a hundred percent. I’m getting there, but this time, if I slip, if I fuck up again, I need you to fight for me. Don’t ever let me go that easily again.” Tears gathered in her eyes as she looked away, and I grabbed her gaze with mine, forcing her to see me. “Promise me, Mia.”
She drew in a shaky breath, as her tangled hair fell from around her shoulder. “Promise.”
Gathering her hair in one hand, I pinned her against me. Chest to chest. Heart to heart. Beats and breaths in sync and perfectly matched. Together was all we needed, and I was confident we could survive in the arms of each other forever, never needing anything else; not food or water, only shelter in one another. Never even needing fucking sex. Just this—bodies fused, becoming one like they were meant to.
We stayed that way, blended and unsure of where her body started, and mine ended. She spent the rest of the night explaining to me the past nine months, and everything she’d gone through. In certain parts, I had to stop her to ease the ache in my chest. And in others, I couldn’t contain my excitement when she had explained that she had dual citizenship.
This new information changed my plan entirely.
“Do you know who your biological father is?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Not like it matters.”
“Do you want to know?”
“No.”
“Very well.” I flashed her a small smile. “Who am I supposed to ask for permission to marry you?”
“Me.”
I let out a chuckle and kissed her lovely lips. “I missed you every damn day, love. Even on days I wasn’t myself, a big, empty hole was inside me,” I crossed my hand over my heart, “You were missing.” Mia’s lips turned up in the corners, and she shook her head embarrassingly. “I missed that fucking smile, too.” Her lips parted as she breathed out a laugh. “Yeah, missed that bloody laugh as well.”
Our eyes locked, and her laughter dissolved. “I didn’t do this, Ollie. I didn’t. I wouldn’t.”
I held her face in my hands. “I know. I’m working on it. I’m going to get you out if I have to break you out of here myself, alright?”
She nodded and curled into my lap, laying her head into the curve of my neck. Her hard, pink nipples grazed along my chest as I inched my fingers down the sides of her arms and over her back. My knob relaxed in my joggers, not needing anything more than this fucking moment.
Mia fell asleep against me, not one stir of movement, and I hadn’t felt this complete, relieved, and refreshed in a long time. This time, I kept my eyes open and ran my palm over every surface of her back, over and over again, touching every wound, silently thanking my God for keeping these wounds at the surface and not piercing her soul. Keeping her light, that we worked so hard to find, stay intact and untouched by this fucking prankster that I was now determined to find.
A single knock at the door came too soon, and I dropped my head back against the wall.
With my love in my arms, I leaned to my left to swipe my shirt off the floor. “Mia,” I whispered, lifting her dead weight off my chest and pushing her head through the hole of my shirt.
“Stay with me,” she mumbled, pulling her arms through.
My white tee engulfed her, falling over her breasts. I wrapped an arm around her back and laid her across the mattress. “I never left,” I whispered into her ear and kissed her forehead. “Now close your eyes, love.”
I rose to my feet and watched her curl into a ball before drifting back to sleep—my angel. Doctors saw imperfections, a mental illness, but all I saw was strength: a powerful mind and the ability to protect the rest of herself from it when needed.
People who can’t fathom or understand one’s complexity, blame it on a sickness. The people who can’t put you in a specific box, shy away. And the people who can’t open their hearts to those who are different from them, undermine. But where they see flaws, I see blessings.
That beautiful mind of hers kept her strong—kept her a fighter.
After adjusting my waistband, I pulled my hoodie over my head, crouched down beside her, and kissed her one last time before heading out.
Scott waited outside the door, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He dropped his chin to his chest and lifted off the wall before I followed behind him in silence.
Chapter Seventeen
“I suffer from the heart of a saint
with the hands of a sinner.”
—Oliver Masters
Ollie.
HALF THE DAY WENT by smooth. I kept my mouth closed, ears opened, determination rolling, and operation “get Mia out” in full focus. Once she returned without a dent in her record, I’d move on to phase two: find the bloody prankster, as Mia liked to call him. Prankster seemed juvenile for the shit he’d put her through.
Scott and I had come to an understanding. He’d have my back, but once the job was complete, I never wanted to see or hear about him and Mia together again.
I’d never been the jealous type, utterly confident in what Mia and I shared, but that still didn’t mean I liked seeing or hearing about it. I’d never keep Mia from someone she loved
or grew close to. Finding someone who accepts and understands you entirely was rare, and forcing the ones you love, to sever those kinds of relationships, only hurt your own.
If I were honest with myself, she never belonged to me. She belonged to this world, and the only way to truly love her was to love her unselfishly. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have loved her at all.
Jude walked through the door during lunch, and I tilted my focus to Scott who stood off by the entrance of the mess hall. Scott offered a faint nod, and I rose from my chair, abandoning my uneaten tray.
Before Jude reached the lunch line, I made it across the room and wrapped my hand around the back of his neck, steering him away. “Outside,” I ordered. Jude tried to pull his head from my grasp, and my grip tightened, forcing his weak arse forward. “No one’s going to help you.”
Jude wordlessly nodded and walked ahead of me. I looked back at Scott, who glanced at his wristwatch. Five-or-so minutes was all I had to get this bloke to talk.
On our way out, Bria and the new girl, who I kept forgetting the name of, stopped in front of us.
“Go on, eat. I’ll be there in a minute,” Jude immediately said to the girls.
They both looked over at me then back at Jude. “We don’t eat without you,” Bria whined, and I craned my head in Jude’s direction, looking for an explanation on what she meant by that.
“You are today,” he said through an exhale and annoyance in his tone. “You can eat one fucking meal without me.”
Bria rolled her eyes as the blonde studied me, and finally, they both stepped to the side Jude and I pushed through the double doors to outside, unattended.
“The fuck is this about, mate?” Jude asked, pulling a cigarette and lighter from his pocket as soon as our feet touched grass. He had the nerve to bring it to his mouth and light it as if my presence was a waste of his time. I ripped the cigarette from his mouth, split it in half, and shoved him against the side of the building. Jude’s eyes went wide, and he tried to push me back but failed. “You got a problem, just say so! You can have Bria, she’s a loose cannon, anyway.”
Even When I'm Gone (Stay With Me series Book 2) Page 19