Even When I'm Gone (Stay With Me series Book 2)

by Nicole Fiorina

  And then my eyes found him. Ollie sat leaned over with his head in his hands, and his hood pulled over his head, facing an uneaten tray. My feet moved as my brain disciplined me—reminding me about the repercussions of getting hurt, and a million words ran through my head as I continued forward, finding words to say. Which Ollie did we have today?

  I laid a hand over his shoulder, and the tension released from him in that single touch and his shoulders dropped.

  “Mia,” Ollie uttered through a single breath. His right hand crossed over him and grabbed my wrist, pulling me over his lap to straddle him. Long arms wrapped around me while his head dug into the crevice of my neck, drawing and breathing me in.

  We sat like that for I don’t know how long. I felt their stares on us, but Ollie didn’t move, and I didn’t pull away from him. The only movements were his hands slipping under my shirt, needing skin to skin contact.

  Then he lifted his head, and his nose grazed along my jaw with eyes still closed and holding on to wherever he wanted to be in his beautiful head—a perfect paradise. His lips lingered over mine, releasing long breaths.

  “Open your eyes,” I whispered.

  Ollie shook his head. “Not yet.”

  The dreamer grabbed my mouth with his and sank into it.

  A damn perfect paradise.

  And Ollie was back. My Ollie. Full-force, empowered and rejuvenated. He held our kiss, never took more than what he needed, and this simple connection was enough to relax him as he breathed out through his nose. His lips brushed against mine as he released our kiss, and his eyes opened, staring back at me.

  Last night, all we’d talked about was me, and I had no idea how he’d been coping, what struggles he’d been facing. Suddenly, I wanted to know everything. “You have to tell me how to help you. I don’t know how to do this,” I whispered.

  “One day at a time, love.” Ollie’s eyes beamed. “We’re both figuring it out. Just know I never meant to hurt you. My heart was always in the right place, but my mind wasn’t doing the right thing.”

  “What about the medication?”

  A burst of laughter from afar didn’t snag his attention. Eyes, hand, and focus remained solely on me as he leaned over and dragged a nearby chair closer. “Sit, you need to eat.” I slid from his lap and fell back into the chair before he pushed his tray in front of me. “I’ve been off the medication for three days now. It’s easier this time.” Ollie dropped an elbow over the table, turning in his chair to face me and gripped my thigh with his other hand. “I’m alright. Eat, love.”

  “No shakes?” I asked, taking a bite of the mashed potatoes.

  Ollie held out his hand, showing me. “Well, not from the withdrawal.” He flashed a half-smile, and his eyes studied mine. “I’m okay. Swear to it. Now tell me whose pot you pissed in. Who do you believe is fucking with you?”

  “Jude.”

  Ollie’s head shook. “No, Jude’s not capable of it.”

  “How do you know.”

  “I just do.”

  I took another bite and scanned the room. “Then, I have no idea.” A few beats passed as Ollie’s fingers wrapped around my thigh. “What if I go to jail over this?”

  “I won’t let that happen!”

  “You’re not above the law, Ollie. You can’t control my fate.”

  “Hey, look at me.” I dropped the fork and turned to face him. “Remember I told you to believe in us?”—I nodded— “Don’t hold back on me now, we’re almost there. I may not be above the law, but us? Together, we’re a fucking perfect storm.”

  “A notion that even science can’t grasp.”

  He smiled, leaned in, and kissed my temple. “There’s no doubt in my mind we can get through this, alright? And if the law fails us, if this place fucking fails us, don’t think for one second I wouldn’t have you out of here and across the world before the order for your arrest is even in motion.”

  A shadow loomed over us, and I looked up to see Maddie and Gwen hovering. I paused mid-chew as her eyes darted between us. Turning to face Ollie, he squeezed my leg under the table and captured my gaze, holding it hostage.

  “This is cute,” Maddie sneered. “And the saint fell in love with the sociopath, but it’s anyone’s guess who is who in this story. Truly, I’m shocked. She forgave you faster than I thought she would.” Maddie lifted on her toes before dropping back down. “Those same fingers touching your leg were the same fingers buried inside me not too long ago.” I flinched, and Ollie’s jaw tensed, but his eyes stayed on me, not bothering to look her way and keeping me with him. “Does it bother you, Mia?” she continued, prying for a reaction. “I tasted him. Sucked his—

  “You good, love? Ready to get out of here?” Ollie asked as he jumped to his feet. He wrapped my hand in his, and I nodded, standing with him. My heart hit so fast or not at all and the back of my eyes burned from the resistance.

  “He’ll be back. It’s only a matter of time before he falls off the rails again,” Maddie said through a laugh.

  Ollie pushed through the double doors and led us outside. Though we walked in silence, the regret and disgust punished his stride and darkened his mood. When we reached a clearing in the woods, Ollie sat over the ground and fell back until his head hit the ground. His hands flew over his face as he tried to catch his breath.

  In an instant, his whole demeanor changed, and I couldn’t help but feel for him. Ollie always knew the right words to say, but right now I couldn’t find any to make him feel better. His hands folded behind his head as he looked up at me with tortured eyes. “I’m a liar, a coward, and a hypocrite.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “She has no right putting that image in your head.”

  “It’s Maddie. I can handle Maddie.”

  “Fuck Maddie. Can you handle what happened?”

  I took a seat beside him, and his green eyes followed, taking notice in the distance between us and where my hands fell at my sides. His jaw ticked, waiting for a reply and disliking the space. “It doesn’t matter,” I finally said, and the truth was, it didn’t. Both Ollie and I had made mistakes.

  Ollie caved and waved me over. “Come here.” I inched over, and once I was within reach, his arm snaked around my stomach as he pulled me over him until my head hit his chest. The tips of his fingers traced over my arm as he stared up into the darkening sky. “I haven’t been able to write a bloody thing since the day I was thrown in confinement. But now I have these words swimming inside me, making my head spin.”

  “What is it you need to write about?”

  Ollie shook his head and thread his fingers through my hair, sights still in the sky, perfectly content now. “Moments like this.”

  “And tell me, Ollie, what exactly would you write in this very moment?”

  He dropped his chin to look at me. “I’d write about your lips,” his thumb grazed over my bottom lip, “and how they were made perfectly with mine in mind. I’d write about those brown eyes of yours, and how they were created to hold my reflection. And your touch … how you don’t understand the power a single brush of your finger has over me. But what’s truly remarkable is when the world attempts to pull me under, you arrest my heart, and the rest of me could slip away, but it wouldn’t matter. Still, it would beat. Steady. Solid. Secure.” He looked up to the sky again watching the trees sway in the October dawn. “Something like that. But it reads better on paper, yeah?”

  I shook my head. “I prefer to hear you say it.”

  “Really?” He pulled me over him until our bodies aligned, and my forearms dropped to the ground on each side of his head. “Why’s that?”

  “Because you have a lovely voice, and I don’t think you fully comprehend the impact it causes. Or maybe I’m biased, and it only affects me.” Ollie smiled, his eyes beamed, and my heart tightened.

  “Can I touch you?”
His brain bounced like an evenly matched tennis game and never in one place for too long. His internal conflict took me by surprise when it flowed through his cautious touch over my sides. “Or do you need time?” It took me a moment to realize he had been referring to what just happened back in the mess hall with Maddie.

  “I don’t need time, Ollie. When it comes to you, time is not something I want to waste.”

  Ollie smiled and wrapped his hands in my hair. “I saw your face, love. She got inside your head. You have every right to be upset, and you don’t have to pretend to be strong around me. Alright? It’s okay if you need time.”

  Side-stepping the topic, I fell over to the side of him and thread my fingers in his, staring at the same sky. “You think anyone would notice if we slept out here tonight?”

  “Scott would notice, and we wouldn’t be able to get back in once the doors are locked. But I’ll tell you what,”—he lifted our linked hands and pointed in the sky— “Same time next year, we’ll be sleeping under that same moon, probably a different strand of stars.”

  “What day is today?” I asked.

  “The tenth.”

  “So, October tenth two thousand twenty. Ten-ten-twenty-twenty.” I closed my eyes to make a mental note.

  “Ten-ten-twenty-twenty,” Ollie repeated. “Fuck sounds good. I love it.” He turned his head and rested his forehead to my temple. “Come on, love. We have to head back.”

  Ollie lifted off before pulling me to my feet, and we ran our way back to the campus as the date chanted in my mind. Plans. A future.

  Ten-ten-twenty-twenty.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Kiss her crazy and

  love her insane.”

  —Oliver Masters

  ollie.

  “Mia’s a psycho,” Liam shouted in the hall. “Bitch almost killed that freshman. She doesn’t deserve to be here.”

  My head snapped behind me to see Liam talking to some random bloke, Mia and me not much farther away, capable of hearing every word pouring from his malicious tongue. The air around me changed, and like a predator watching its prey, my eyes zeroed in on him as my body shifted closer to Mia, protecting her from the ugliness.

  It was Halloween, the day of the dead. Also, the day wankers grew a set of bollocks to match their nerve. As much as I’d like to teach him a lesson, it wouldn’t have done any good. He was just as scared as the next person, projecting fear onto those who were easy targets.

  The prankster had easily walked into Mia’s dorm and stolen her journal, managing to broadcast everyone’s secrets over the walls, including Liam’s sexual orientation. The issue hadn’t been everyone’s knowledge of it. The issue was Liam’s inability to accept his own heart’s preference.

  He was ashamed, and that made me only pity him.

  Didn’t he know? Love was attracted to the soul inside, blind to everything else. You didn’t get an option—no choice in the fucking matter. Love had no guilt, fear, or negatives—only pure in form, attacking the organs, embedding itself deep, hungry, to thrive and grow. Shamelessly, love had no barriers or rules, and the real tragedy was the resistance from the close-minded, who were just as scared.

  One day, love would conquer fear. It’s only a matter of time, Liam.

  I grabbed her empty hand and held it to my chest. “Block it out. Liam’s just embarrassed,” I whispered with my mouth dropped toward her ear. Turning my eyes from Liam to Mia, her chest filled with air before she let out a long breath and nodded with her eyes fixed out in front of her. I moved around to face her, pinning her still and towering over her fragile frame. Her brown eyes lifted until they hit mine as her naturally wavy hair fell from her face. “Hey, if you’re a psycho, then I’ll love you insane.”

  Mia chuckled and dropped her head. “I don’t think anyone understands us.”

  “No one understands us? Good. Sounds like we’re finally making history then,” I stated. She smiled, and my stiff muscles relaxed under her spell. “I want to kiss you right now.”

  Mia’s eyes drifted around us, and her cheeks tinted rosy. “What kind of kiss? Are you talking about a light kiss?” her eyes turned back to me, challenging me, and her lashes lowered along with her voice, “or the insane, mad, crazy kind?”

  Those words injected lava in my veins, a heatwave burning for her, and the only way to ease the ache were those lips she was now biting. I snatched the books from her arms and pulled her down the hallway, pushing through Liam and the crowd forming between classes.

  After we turned the corner, we reached an empty hall. The books dropped from my arms as Mia fell back against the cement, and I could hear her breathing. I ran my thumb over that bottom lip before I grabbed it with my mouth and kissed her crazy.

  Her chest hummed against mine as I held her up with my hands and consumed her everything—her taste, her scent, her nostalgic soul mine lured to like a magnet. The ache was now long gone, and my tongue pushed through the part in her lips. I sank, all of me going under, and I never wanted to be pulled out from the depths of Mia ...

  “uh-hmm,” a low grunt sounded behind us. My forehead dropped to Mia’s, and her eyes shifted behind me. She let out a small chuckle and straightened her posture the same time I hesitantly pulled away. “Next block starts in a minute, what are you two doing over here?” Jerry asked.

  All it had taken was one person outside our bubble to remind us of where we were. Dolor. Sure, we were adults, but stripped of our freedom and deprived of our identity by the hands of medication and means of brainwash—an attempt to reset us like a broken toy.

  Six more months left. Six bloody months. I’d gone seven months behind bars without Mia, another six in this hell hole seemed unmanageable. But when my eyes latched onto hers, belief that it would all be worth it erased every doubt.

  The house I’d set up for us came forth in my head—the life waiting outside the iron gates. Mia and I, and if everything worked out according to plan, Zeke too.

  Without removing my eyes from Mia, my mouth opened. “I’m kissing this beautiful creature, my friend.” I landed my lips on a smiling Mia once more. “Ready?”

  Mia shook her head slightly, and her hair fell over her face, hiding that shit-eating grin.

  It took a lot of convincing, but I’d managed to transfer Zeke over to my table in the mess hall. When Zeke’s schedule was interrupted, he’d lashed out. But I couldn’t stand back and watch him being ignored as Bria, the blonde, and Jake talked around him.

  My family—my everything—belonged together.

  Between the commotion, I hadn’t been able to discuss my plans with Mia about Zeke. Hell, Mia and I had never confirmed plans, only the fact that I’d steal her away, wherever she would be, once we left here. Little did she know, I had a house ready for the three of us. With news of her dual citizenship, it took a massive weight off my shoulder.

  Things were falling together.

  I moved my hand over Mia’s thigh to get her attention. “I’m working on becoming Zeke’s guardian,” I blurted, airing out plans and hoping the news wouldn’t close her off.

  Her lovely lips turned up in the corners, and her hand covered over mine on her thigh. I closed my eyes and released a breath. “Is that even possible?” she asked low, matching my tone.

  I dropped my chin. “My mate on the outside has been doing some research. Once my record is clean, I can adopt. I’m over-age,” I nudged my head in Zeke’s direction, “Look at him. He may not be my brother by blood, but he’s my brother by bond, and I’m not leaving him behind.”

  If anyone understood my love for the kid, it was Mia.

  “You’re amazing,” she said through a sigh. “I know whatever it takes, you’ll find a way to make it happen.”

  I could breathe again. “You’re alright with this?” I had to make sure.

  “Am I alright with you getting Zeke out of
here? Hell yes.”

  “It would be the three of us,” I clarified, putting things into perspective. “It would always be you and I, love, but Zeke would finally have a life. A chance at something he deserves.”

  “Like I said,” she squeezed my hand, leaned in closer, and I held my breath, “Hell. Yes.”

  Those soft lips merely touched over mine, and I closed off all senses to feel every sensation they stirred as small bumps rushed over the surface of my skin. When my eyes opened again, Mia’s contagious smile greeted me, and my stupid smile returned.

  I looked back over to Zeke who watched us from across the table, and the clock at the back wall came into focus. “Dammit,” I breathed out. “I have my phone call for the week in ten minutes.” I kissed the side of her head before standing to my feet. Ethan was posted at his usual place, and I looked down at Mia and ran my palm over her head to lift her focus back to me. “You gonna be alright?”

  “Yes. Quit worrying so much.” The volume in the mess hall spiked, and my head snapped up to see a punch thrown in Liam’s direction. Ethan sprang to action, pulling the kid off him and Mia’s hand landed over mine. “Go, Ollie. I have a session with Conway, anyway.”

  “Yeah, alright,” I mumbled and pointed the finger at Zeke, “Look after her.”

  Zeke signed, always.

  I rushed down the stairs, the halls empty, and made it to the closed chamber in time. A guard sat right outside the door with a clipboard. “Name?” he asked, not bothering to look up from his small desk.

  “You know my name, fuck-face.”

  Jinx lifted his head and grinned. “Ollie, my man,” he stood and lazily shook my hand, “feels like I haven’t seen you in a minute.”

  “It’s been a week,” I laughed, “Got what I asked for?”

  Jinx was an interesting character. Dark skinned, missing teeth, but a heart I wished people could see. He knew of my brother and despised him. It took some time for him to see I was nothing like Oscar.