“I’m keeping this one.” He stuffed the picture under his pillow and turned to face me. “The rest is yours. Take as many pictures as you want, I have a box of film at your disposal. See if you can find inspiration somewhere.”
After taking a few more pictures, reading a few chapters, and spending the afternoon being lazy in bed like we always seemed to love, Ollie and I walked through the mess hall together and headed straight for the dinner line.
We carried on with our routine, saying goodbye to Zeke and headed for the bathroom early before the rush. The silent battle to see who could brush their teeth the longest was in full effect, and we both spit into the sink at the same time. I hopped up over the sink and took a seat as he turned the water on, both of us moving in sync.
Slowly, students made their way into the bathroom as I sat facing Ollie’s shower stall.
Ethan appeared beside the wall. His expression exhausted and locked eyes with mine. We hadn’t spoken much since I left solitary, and I wondered where he slept or if he slept at all anymore.
“We need to talk,” Jake said, appearing out of nowhere.
I glanced back at Ollie’s stall. “What is there to talk about? You completely shut me out over something you know I didn’t do.”
“I know. I’m starting to realize that now. Bria is a fucking bitch. I can’t stand her anymore.”
“Let me get this straight … ” I snapped my head in his direction. “You and Bria are going through some girly tiff, and now you have no one? Your sudden need to want to talk is beginning to make more sense.”
Jake rolled his eyes and leaned into the counter. “Don’t be like that. I miss you, okay? I know you didn’t mean for that to happen. I know someone is messing with you and has been since the year started. But, come on, Mia. You wrote my secrets down in a journal. Those weren’t yours to write. They were mine. Now Liam won’t even talk to me.” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked out in front of him. “Not only did I lose Liam, but I lost you, too.”
I dropped my chin to my chest and crossed my legs that had been dangling off the counter. “We’re cool. Let’s forget it happened.”
“Thank fuck,” Jake muttered through an exhale. “This whole polygamist relationship those three have going is downright disgusting. Jude is a nice guy, don’t get me wrong, but having to watch the three of them smash grosses me the fuck out.”
“You got a mouth on you now.” I chuckled, and Ollie opened the curtain, stepping out of the stall in nothing but his boxers and a towel in his hands.
Ollie’s eyes slid between Jake and me. “Everything good now?”
“Was this your doing?” I asked with a raised brow.
“No … not at all.” He walked up to the sink beside me with a smile that didn’t match his words.
“I was the one who went to Ollie. I had to know where we stood,” Jake said in a hurry.
“It’s fine. I’m glad you did. I missed you too.” I waved Jake over and wrapped my arms around him. “And I’m sorry about Liam, but he’ll come around.” Ollie and Jake shook hands, and my attention drifted over to two girls eyeing Ollie. I leaned over and snatched his clean pair of joggers and threw it into Ollie’s chest. “Get dressed.”
Ollie let out a small laugh and looked past Jake to see two freshmen ready to devour him. His green eyes hit mine as he raised a brow and pushed his legs into his joggers.
“They want to lick you all over,” Jake sang, “and over again.”
If anyone was licking him all over, it would be me. Ollie and I hadn’t had sex since he’d fucked me and left me hanging in my dorm room. We’d had numerous opportunities, but Ollie had said he wasn’t ready for lovemaking yet.
And Ollie could take all the time he needed. I’d wait for as long as it took.
Ollie shook his head and took a step forward, filling the space between my knees. “Never allow it to bother you,” he whispered.
“I don’t like the fantasies probably running through their heads right now,” I confessed.
Ollie’s eyes darted between mine, and his fingers gripped my waist while his other hand grabbed at the nape of my neck. Wet lips and a rush of mint slammed into me, and Ollie kissed me slowly, brushing his tongue against mine and sending flurries through a hot summer day. Fire and ice. His hand moved to the base of my neck and up to my jawline before he pulled away. “There,” he licked his lips, “That should ruin their fantasies.”
He winked, and I playfully shoved him off me as we shared a laugh.
Jake whistled. “Bloody hell, you two didn’t miss a beat,”—He fanned his face with his hand— “Pretty sure the entire room felt that one.”
My cheeks heated and Ollie pulled his shirt over his head before pulling me off the counter and landing a kiss over my head.
Things were finally going back to normal.
Ollie.
My lashes parted to see Scott standing over me with his arms crossed in the dark and I jumped up from my bed. “Jesus Christ, Scott,” I muttered.
“It’s Mia.”
My feet landed on the cold hard ground, and I shoved past him, heading straight to Mia’s dorm. It was annoying how Scott wouldn’t just let her sleep with me at night. Instead, he’d come and wake me only on nights Mia got sucked into the terrors. I’d rather her not get sucked in at all and sleep beside me where she belonged. The weight of Dolor was growing heavier by the second. Only five fucking months left until release day.
Five bloody months until we could break free, and I could finally show her the life I’d planned for us.
The door closed behind me, and Mia laid drenched in a cold sweat. Wayward strands stuck to the side of her face as she moved back and forth, crying in her sleep. I pulled the sheet up to see her in her usual white tank and panties—her skin glistening and her lips trembling. “Ollie,” she called out through her terror with her eyes screwed tight.
“Mia, you have to wake up.” I pushed the strands from her face and swiftly rolled her over to the side as I continued to chant her name.
Mia’s lashes fluttered, then her eyes opened meeting mine. “Ollie?”
“I’m right here.”
“I couldn’t reach you,” she uttered.
My eyebrows pulled together. “What do you mean?”
“I heard you. I heard your voice. But I couldn’t see or touch you. You were talking to me in my head. It was dark. I was falling really, really fast and everything was closing in on top of me. Like being buried. I couldn’t breathe.”
“It’s gone now.”
“It’s the same dream over and over. And I’m stuck, and I can’t get out!” Tears sprang in her worried eyes, and fear had her in its death-grip as her body shook. It had been the first time she was able to remember. But now it all made sense.
My love’s brilliant mind played tricks on her, forcing her back to the girl she used to be—the girl who lacked emotion and was numb to it all. And it was all my fault.
“Look at me.” Her eyes snapped to mine, and I grabbed her hand and placed it over my chest. “You feel that? This is real. Whatever’s got a hold of you in here,” I tapped her head, “it’s working really hard to turn that fucking switch again. But I have a hold on you too, and I’m never letting go.”
She let out a substantial and extended breath, the anxiety leaving along with it before she curled into me. I dragged my fingers through her hair, knowing it wouldn’t be long before the shithead Scott came in to pull me back to my room. “Don’t go,” she whispered through the darkness. “I don’t want you to go. Not tonight.”
The last bloody thing I wanted right now was to leave her. She finally remembered, and knowing Mia, she’d be up all night without an ounce of sleep, replaying her terror over and over again. “I’ll be right back. Let me go talk to the wanker.”
Back on my feet, I walked to the door and po
ked my head through. “I’m staying.”
Scott’s brows dipped. “No.”
“She fucking remembers. I’m not leaving her alone. I’m staying.”
Scott pulled me from the door and slammed me against the wall. The sound echoed down the dark hallway, and I pushed him off me. “You’re going to ruin everything,” he seethed.
“Ruin what? Give it up, Scott. It will never happen between the two of you.”
Scott turned his head down the hall and chuckled under his breath. “That’s not what I’m fucking talking about.”
“What is it then?”
The red-head took a step back and silence fell between us.
“Just go then,” he stated with his arms in the air. “This is on you two.”
Without wasting another second away from her, the door closed behind me, and I slipped out of my clothes, went back to her side, and peeled off her tank. I hooked my fingers at the sides of her panties, taking those off too.
Both completely stripped bare, her breasts pressed against my chest and we pieced back together— heart to heart, limbs entangled— with my throbbing knob against her heat. “Go to sleep now,” I whispered as my fingers kneaded along the muscles of her back. “I have you.”
Her breathing steadied as my fingers moved along her thigh and pulled her leg over mine, massaging and annihilating all the fear built up inside her, until finally, she drifted back to sleep.
Never again would she be left alone with the dark because the night was when our demons came out to play. And our demons played nicely together, leaving the two of us alone.
Chapter Twenty
“Make love to her like you mean it.”
—Oliver Masters
mia.
I’D KIDNAPPED OLLIE and Zeke and escaped to the group therapy room to get away from the dark cloud that always hovered over the school. It had been months since I’d played the piano, and for once, both Ollie and Zeke needed a lighter day. The sun decided to show its beautiful rays, but the lawn was littered with students.
Ollie and I both learned that crowds affected him emotionally as well, so this space had been the perfect answer. It was fascinating, learning about this beautiful man. He gave and gave, but all everyone else ever did was take from him—most without them ever knowing.
I looked up from the piano and caught Zeke staring back at me in awe. He loved music. The body made of skin and bones sat relaxed, big brown eyes remained fixed on me, and I flashed him a small smile as my fingers danced fluently across the keys, speaking in a way he connected with. Music had no language barriers.
My gaze switched to Ollie as my fingers took on a new melody, a song I’d heard once before, but had never fully understood the meaning before until now.
Now? It hit me in the gut, flamed my heart, and ignited my soul.
Firestone.
Ollie sat in the black folding chair by the window with his notepad in his lap, pen in hand, and feet propped over another chair. The hood had disappeared, and his messy brown hair lacked ruling, strands falling into his eyes. His focus coasted over his paper to me, and our eyes connected. My heart rate slowed to heavy and hard single hits. My chest held despite my fingers having a mind of their own. His fingers relaxed, and the pen he had been holding fell over his notepad. Beats of the moment, of the song, played out our sacred moment.
Ollie’s expression calmed, but his eyes were haunting and all-expressive.
I let out a breath, my brain finally kicking back in, and I flashed him a smile and shook my head. Ollie dropped his head, but the closed-lipped smile appeared before he looked back up and his smile grew, his eyes drifting from Zeke and back to me.
He felt the impact too.
Zeke rose to his feet and walked toward me as I finished up the last chords of Firestone. Reluctantly, he eyed the space beside me. I inched over, making space for him and pat the area with my palm. “I’ll teach you.”
Zeke wasn’t deaf, only a mute, and this was the first time he was interested in learning. I’d asked him numerous times over the summer, but his only response before was a rapid head shake and a wave of his hand.
With two fingers, I played a simple pattern on the left side of the keys, hoping he’d repeat on the right. Zeke floated his two pointer fingers over the keys. As soon as the second finger pressed down, the wrong key sounded, and he snatched his hand away.
“It’s fine. I mess up all the time.” Straightening my posture, I drew in a deep breath, forcing him to copy, and repeated the same pattern over the keys.
Zeke copied my movements completing the pattern the second time with ease, but missing in rhythm. I’d come to realize there were two types of musicians in this world—those who could play by ear, and those who played by instruction. Zeke was an instruction learner, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. As long as you had the heart, passion, and drive, the flow would come with time.
“Okay, we’re going to play a song. You keep doing that pattern and don’t stop. I’m going to play the second part over here,” I informed as Zeke continued. I glanced up toward Ollie who sat relaxed in his chair with eyes hooked on the two of us. Ollie’s smile beamed, his eyes glowing, and I returned my attention back to Zeke before playing the second part of the song.
Zeke stayed focus facing the keys with his fingers straight, keeping up with the rhythm and my new string of notes not disturbing him.
“Yes!” I encouraged, continuing the first song I ever learned on the piano. I’d never thought Zeke would get to this point. It was a giant step for him, and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as I watched him concentrating hard on the song I’d taught him.
After three more repetitions, I’d slowed, seeing if he could match my pace.
He did, and together we came to a stop.
Zeke turned to face me with a finger pressed firmly on the key with a glowing smile over his innocent features.
I wanted to hug him, or at the very least pat him on the shoulder so he’d understand the monumental moment we’d shared—the beginning of something new we’d uncovered. But I couldn’t risk it, unsure of his reaction with me touching him. The smile across his face was enough to know he understood.
“You did it, mate,” Ollie stated, grabbing both of our attention as he stepped in front of the piano. His palms hit the top of the piano as he leaned over. “Now get out of here,” he nudged his head toward the door with a permanent smile crossing his lips, “I need to be alone with my love.” Brown curls bounced as Zeke glanced back at me, his smile uncertain, and his eyes darted. “Go on. It’s alright.”
Zeke scurried out, and Ollie kept eyes locked on mine until the door closed. The single sound influenced his feet forward. Ollie moved around the piano, then threw his leg over the bench, straddling to face me. “Ollie,” I whispered. The closeness between us seized every word from my brain.
“Play again for me,” he requested, hardly above a whisper. “Firestone.” Ollie’s smile took hold of me and his dimples deepened. It seemed like forever since I’d seen them. “Play,” he encouraged again, looking off and his face beamed. Green eyes flitted back to mine, and he tilted his head. “Please.”
I let out a breath and returned my eyes in front of me, unsure how I was going to play now when all my hands wanted to do was leave the keys and be on him.
I gathered all self-control, and my shaken fingers trailed over the keys to the beginning of the song. Ollie’s eyes anchored me, becoming the gravity holding us together in our bubble as my heart fluttered in my chest. I knew if my eyes chanced a look at him, I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the song. So, my gaze remained fixed out in front of me while I reminded myself to breathe.
The sun filtered through the opened blinds of the large window across the shadowy room. Halfway through the chorus, Ollie’s hand moved over mine to stop the song and pulled me up from
the chair. The room fell silent, his arms wrapped around my shoulders to pull me against him, and he closed his eyes.
“Where are you always escaping to?” I asked, lifting my head and holding on to his hips.
Ollie smoothed his hands over my hair and opened his eyes. “You. Your music. Us. We deserve better than to be in this place, wouldn’t you say?” His eyes scanned the room before returning to me. “You hear that, Mia?” I shook my head, and Ollie closed his eyes. “Firestone,” he said through an exhale. He swayed us slowly back and forth with a song in his head and us dancing somewhere other than a poorly lit room of a reformatory school. “Where do you want to go love?”
I smiled. “All the way.”
Ollie’s pulse in his neck kicked. Green eyes transformed right before me, turning into a lighter shade. Defenseless. Naked. Vulnerable. He wet his lips and dropped his gaze to my mouth, and our movements came to a standstill. His fingers smoothed over my hair, dropping my head back in their wake to face him.
He lowered his head and grabbed my lip between his while his hands grazed up my neck and cupped my head. His touch, his lips, his mint taste—it all sedated and quenched me at once. The room spun as he pulled away and rested his forehead to mine to keep us in place.
And suddenly I was picked up at the thighs and walked over to the base of the piano, and left standing there. Ollie jogged across the room and locked the door, and on his way back, he took long strides as his erection strained against his joggers. He gripped his eager hard-on and stopped in his tracks. Taking a step back, he studied me as I grew needy.
“Ollie, come here.” I took a step forward.
He shook his head. “Just stand right there, love. I just want to look at you.”
With his eyes on me, my skin heated.
He let out a long exhale and took the few steps toward me and lifted me over the piano.
The amount of restraint he contained remained a mystery when all I needed was to be connected with him again. It was no secret we both remembered the way he’d fucked me, and the regret coursed through his actions and stained his soul.
Even When I'm Gone (Stay With Me series Book 2) Page 23