Even When I'm Gone (Stay With Me series Book 2)

by Nicole Fiorina

  “Ollie,” she whispered again, and just like that, she seized my existence and reigned over me.

  “I … I … I can’t,” I breathlessly said as her tongue stroked the sensitive skin underneath. As much as I wanted to watch the way she took care of me, my head fell back, and I closed my eyes. My tip hit the back of her throat, and all at once, the blood rushed to one place. My muscles strained, veins popped, and in half a second, I made a rash decision.

  My hands fisted her jeans, and I ripped them off before yanking her knickers to the side. I grabbed the back of her thighs, picked her weightless body up, and slammed inside her. Mia’s warm, tight flesh consumed me, and I pulsed, spilling every fucking ounce into her with shaky hands entangled in her hair.

  “Sorry,” I finally breathed once the waves crashed and dissolved into the beach of her and me. Mia’s wet lips grazed my jawline, and my knob jerked inside her.

  My girl laughed lightly and kissed my dimple. “You say sorry like it’s a bad thing.”

  “The things your lips do to me,” I ran my thumb over her bottom lip, “trust me it’s enough, but nothing—and I mean absolutely nothing—compares to the way I feel when we’re connected like this.”

  Mia’s lips parted, and I dove into her mouth as my thumb fell over her little nub beneath her soaked cotton knickers. Her heavenly grind erased the hell of this place, and I was certain I could live inside the gates within her for eternity without needing a bloody thing.

  Mia cried out, and I swallowed every testimony.

  She shook, I anchored her.

  She broke apart inside my arms, and I held all her pieces together.

  Utterly stripped, unarmed, and exposed, the unity of us was a beautiful thing, and there was only one word to describe it.

  Poetic.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  “Perhaps you were here to remind everyone that angels are real,

  in the shape of humanity and the color of grace.

  And for a brief moment in time,

  we all sang the same song.”

  —Oliver Masters

  mia.

  IT WAS FEBRUARY 29TH.

  Leap day, and a Saturday, nonetheless.

  The sun still rose despite it being the coldest day of the year, streaming through the window and hardly able to warm my face. The light appeared behind my lids, demanding my lashes to part, but I’d learned it was okay to keep them closed a little while longer to soak it all in.

  “You feel that?” Ollie asked into my hair. Warm hands attempted to blanket the chill as they ran up my arm and down my side.

  “mmhmm,” I hummed, speaking of something else entirely.

  “The sun is out, love. You slept through the entire night to wake up to a new day. One we don’t deserve,” his lips brushed across my shoulder, “What will you do with it?”

  I flipped in his arms, my eyes disobedient to the sun but caving to his voice. Ollie intertwined his legs with mine with his eyes still closed. His dimple deepened beside his all-knowing grin. I wanted to crawl inside his brain and roll around in whatever place he imagined for us. Leaning away from him, I stretched my arm under the mattress to grab my camera. A rush of cold air came between us, and I snapped a picture, capturing his essence in a black and white polaroid that held more emotion than anything in color could portray. He was all shades of beautiful.

  It was February 29th. Leap day.

  Ollie, Zeke, and I sat around our table during breakfast.

  Zeke’s hair was curlier, bouncier, than usual. His brown eyes glowed from across the table. The rare and saintly moments caught in Zeke’s smile could light the darkest night. Ollie grinned right back at him, chewing the breakfast in his mouth and sent him a wink. Peace washed over the three of us.

  Two and a half more months and we would all finally be set free.

  Ollie would accomplish what Tommy couldn’t, and rescue Zeke from this place.

  I want to hear you play, Zeke signed to me.

  “I’ll play for you,” I smiled.

  Zeke had come so far since I’d first arrived. I remembered the times he’d only stare from across the table as I’d blurted every thought crossing my mind—mostly about Ollie and how he managed to piss me off, but it had been only because I couldn’t grasp the fireworks and symphonies colliding inside me whenever Ollie was near. Zeke had been a part of every step of our journey, becoming the silent rock holding our two pieces together.

  It was time for Zeke to write his own love story.

  Ollie leaned over the table and took another bite before dropping his fork and breaking off into a wordless conversation with Zeke. Ethan stood alert at his post against the wall with his hands clasped firmly to his belt. His face was expressionless but wholly healed from the altercation weeks ago. Ever since we had found out about Maddie’s condition, Ethan kept a close eye on her, watching her every move.

  Coincidently, nothing more happened with the prankster.

  My gaze moved over to Jake, who now sat at a different table with Liam, Tyler, Jude, and Bria. Liam and Jake indulged in small talk inside their bubble, and my heart fluttered at the smile expanding across Jake’s thin lips. Jude’s hand clutched firmly to Tyler’s beneath the table as Tyler and Bria joked about something I was too far away to hear.

  It was small, the glare Bria shot over to me, and if Ollie never told me what had happened between the two of them in our room, I would have missed it.

  I was back and forth on whether or not I should confront her about the advance she made at Ollie. Trust me; I wanted to punish her. All I needed was two minutes alone with her.

  Then, my eyes landed on Maddie. She and Gwen sat alone eating in silence in the middle of the mess hall between my table and Bria’s. Maddie shook her bangs from her eyes before she took a bite, nodding as Gwen waved her hands animatedly in the air. Maddie’s eyes fixed on the tray before her, tuning the girl out, I’m sure.

  Ollie had no idea the dirt Ethan and I had dug up on Maddie.

  At this point, I had no reason to hide it from him any longer other than the shame for invading my friends privacy—Jake’s, Bria’s, and Tyler’s. Though, I was desperate.

  And desperation made for bad decisions.

  It was February 29th.

  Leap day.

  The keys of the piano felt like ice against my fingers as they danced with the notes to Ollie’s current favorite, Firestone.

  Awe struck in Zeke’s eyes as he sat still in the black chair by the window with Ollie by his side. Ollie’s fingers moved fluently across the pages of his journal under the sun, glances stolen between us. I inhaled the chilly air through my nose, and it felt like spearmint coating my throat and lungs when the door to the group therapy room swung open.

  Bria stood there, examining the room with a raging fire in her eyes.

  My fingers froze over the keys. My eyes darted back and forth to Ollie and Zeke by the window. Ollie flinched, sending a panic inside me.

  “Keep playing, love. It sounds beautiful,” Bria snarled, closing the door behind her. The click of the lock bounced, and she turned to face us. “Hey, Ollie,” Bria smirked, but her stride closed in on me. Ollie stood, Zeke’s eyes bulged, and I jerked my eyes in her direction.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked nervously as she circled me.

  “Bria,” Ollie warned, and before he could make it to me, the edge of a sharp blade pressed against my windpipe.

  “Sit down, Ollie, or I’ll cut the bitch in two.”

  My eyes fixed on Ollie, afraid to move—afraid to blink. The lightning crashed behind my eyes and my vision clouded, but even my tears were too afraid to fall. Ollie’s light eyes bottomed out, fear zeroing in, and the change happened almost immediately. He inched forward, his palms out in front of him, begging with scrambled words and a broken tone.

 
The sharp tip of the cold blade pierced my skin. It burned, and warm blood trickled down the length of my neck. I sank my teeth into my lip to fight my body from trembling or moving at all.

  “N-n-n-no,” Ollie stammered with bloodshot eyes. “Please, don’t do this, Bria. God, I’m fucking begging you.”

  I wanted to speak, but it was hard to get any words out when you couldn’t breathe. Shock took complete possession of me, and I sat stunned and watched as Ollie broke apart from ten feet away.

  His words sounded distant, and his movements seemed lost in slow motion. Time lagged, and I squeezed my eyes closed to wait for the inevitable.

  “Sit down, darling.” Her tone was calm. Too calm. Bria’s hair brushed against my cheek as she leaned over. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this.”

  “For what?” Ollie shouted, then quickly lowered his tone. “What did she ever do to you? Bria, you can walk away. Right now, we’ll never speak of this. Please! Fuck. Don’t do this!”

  “Madilyn,” Bria deadpanned. “My name is Madilyn and if I have to hear you call me that name one more time … ”

  “I don’t understand,” Ollie’s voice shook, grasping his hair with tears falling from his red eyes. “But we can go talk. Let her go. We’ll sort this out.”

  “No, I think Mia deserves to know the truth before I finally get rid of her,” the girl said close to my ear. My eyes sprang open to see Ollie take two steps forward when she yanked my head back and dug the blade into my throat. “You want to test me? She’ll be gone by the time you get here, Ollie. I wouldn’t suggest taking another step.”

  Ollie stopped in his tracks, and his hands shook at his sides.

  “I wanted a clean break, too—a fresh start,” she continued with her story. “Brianna, the girl you’ve come to know as Maddie, the two of us got close at the institution before we arrived. Really close. The plan was brilliant. I’d have a new identity, Maddie would have access to me. The bitch did whatever I said, actually followed through with it and switched our folders, switched our bloody identities, before we arrived to Dolor. I had her eating out of the palm of my hand,” the girl blew out a menacing laugh. I turned my eyes to her, the girl I thought I knew—the girl whose black short hair grazed my cheek and I had called Bria for almost two years. She was fucking Madilyn—she was Maddie. She had been the one with the delusional disorder this entire time. “Can you believe she actually fell in love with me?

  “But when we arrived, things between you and me just clicked. Brianna got jealous and decided to go out of her way to fuck you before I could, Ollie. All this just to spite me. Big mistake. So just like she went out of her way to have you, I went out of my way to have the cow removed and tossed into the Looney Bin. You were always mine, Ollie. You were never hers. You still are! I’ll never forget that night we made love. It’s all I can think about. You know it, too. Or at least until this one came along. Not only did Mia steal you from me … no, she went as far as calling me a rapist! Can you believe that, Ollie? Like I’d have to rape you, you fucked anything that walked,” the blade applied more pressure against my throat, and my eyes strained from the pressure, “I mean, I was just about to have you back, and she had to come along and fuck it all up, didn’t she? Then Mia had me raped! Talk about a fucking hypocrite, ya? Remember that, Mia? Watching Isaac take advantage of me?” she seethed in my ear.

  “It wasn’t Mia’s fault,” Ollie rushed out.

  “The hell it’s not! When you left, I learned everything Mia. I learned how she talked, how she moved. I wanted to know what it was about her that made you tick, why you chose her and not me! Turns out, she’s nothing more than a shallow whore.” Her knee cap rammed into my spine, and my head bounced backward, and she fisted my hair. I winced, and Ollie jumped forward. “Come closer, please Ollie. I dare you. I so dare you.”

  Ollie gripped his hair, his jaw working overtime as tears fell fast from his battered eyes. “Don’t think I won’t kill you, Bria. Or Maddie. Whatever the fuck your name is. You so much as lay another finger on her. I swear to God I’ll fucking kill you.”

  “Oh hush, I’m not done with my story yet,” Madilyn laughed, “You were gone, and I was on my way to becoming this girl you always wanted. Then I overheard Lynch talking about your return. I had to make my move, get this one out of the picture for good. So many times, I almost had her. Even tossed Brianna straight into your arms to keep you occupied and away from Mia. Can you believe that? I let Brianna fuck you, keep you satisfied until we could be together. That’s how much I love you, Ollie.”

  “You need help,” Ollie gritted out with red in his eyes. “Let me help you. You’re sick.”

  “Yeah, well love makes you do crazy things,” Madilyn grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bench, leading me to a chair with the blade held firmly at my throat. The misery consuming Ollie hurt more than the knife or thought of death. I wanted to hold him, tell him that it was going to be okay. I wanted to wipe his tears and be there for him. “Any last words?”

  “You trust me, love?” Ollie asked me, trying to maintain a steady voice, but it was laced with all emotion. I sucked in my lips and nodded. His lips trembled. “Close your eyes, real tight,” another tear fell down his red cheek, and he looked up before his eyes hit mine again, “don’t open them, no matter what.”

  I screwed my eyes closed, holding them real tight until the stars appeared. The stars turned into white shapes—triangles, spheres, moving and transforming. I envisioned Ollie and me dancing, the fireworks, the library. I fought to replay our stolen moments as the tip of the blade punctured my skin. Hot tears spilled from the corners, but I was no longer afraid. Voices sounded around me as my head spun, and the sharp blade disappeared from my throat and was replaced by Ollie’s warm hand, granting permission for me to breathe again.

  A gasp echoed.

  And then a thump sounded.

  My eyes slammed tighter.

  And I was picked up from the chair and warmth wrapped around me.

  A marine breeze filled my senses. Freedom. Ollie.

  “Mia, look at me,” he cried. My eyes blinked open, and I was face to face with a wrecked man. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated over and over.

  I turned my head, my body still shaking to see Madilyn on the floor with a knife lodged into her side.

  I returned my gaze to Ollie. “I don’t…”

  He kissed me—my cheeks. My nose. My eyes. My neck. Ollie’s hands moved over my face, and that was when I saw the reflection in his eyes.

  His eyes moved past me to behind me. His emerald gems grew in size and was replaced once again by panic. Zeke’s shriek pierced my eardrums, and Ollie shoved me to the side just as Zeke jumped between Madilyn and where I stood seconds before.

  Time stalled and sped simultaneously. Before Ollie could do anything, Madilyn had removed the blade from her side, blood dripping from the knife and over the marble, and drove it into Zeke’s stomach. The actions that followed raced at the speed of light. Ollie launched forward, an anguished yet hostile scream erupted from his chest like fire. Frozen in place, I struggled to take in what was happening. All I could do was watch as Ollie withdrew a pencil from his back pocket and plunge it deep into Maddie’s neck. All I could hear was the thump as she hit the floor, followed by a second thump as Ollie collapsed. Blood ran down the length of his arm, smearing on the marble floor as he shuffled toward Zeke, frantically screaming his name in defeat and bottomless heartbreak, over and over.

  I must have screamed. I didn’t hear it, but I felt it in my throat. Everything seemed to go hazy, my heart now steadying to a slow but unsteady beat, a beat that can only be matched to broken pieces of my world falling apart all around me.

  It was February 29th.

  Leap day.

  I froze with my arms wrapped firmly around my knees curled into a ball as Ollie’s agonizing cries boomed around me. His fist pounded into th
e marble, as the other fisted Zeke’s shirt at his chest. I couldn’t move. Ollie’s soul crumbled before me, and I was useless. Shock took me over. Even tears froze mid-fall down my cheek.

  Zeke coughed, and his head tilted as blood spilled from the corner of his mouth.

  “You have to stay with me, brother,” Ollie cried. “Hang in there.” Zeke’s eyes slid to mine, and peace filled the dark circles of them. Calm in the storm, succumbing to his fate. He’d lost the will to fight, finally wanting to be set free.

  Only once before had I watched someone’s soul slip away. My uncle had fear and shock in his eyes as if he didn’t expect it. Our eyes had locked until he was gone, and even then, I had sat frozen, staring back at the lifeless glaze in the hollow pupils.

  Zeke accepted his fate with open arms. He wasn’t scared. He wasn’t afraid. The peace inside him was calm and quiet, but the devastation surrounding him was unwilling to let him go.

  Then his calmness slid back to Ollie.

  A silent understanding passed between them, and still, I couldn’t move.

  Zeke tried to lift his hands, and Ollie took them both and held them to his chest.

  “I did it. I saved her,” Zeke whispered through a cough.

  “Yeah, you did, my friend.” Ollie broke and forced a small smile over his wet face.

  “Mia, and Ollie, forever,” Zeke finally whispers with a hoarse throat. His eyes blinked closed as blood soaked through his shirt.

  “No, no, no, no, stay with me,” Ollie’s head snapped in my direction. “Go, Mia! Get help!” The words seemed so far away, yet right in my ear. Until Ollie’s hands clutched my face and demanded me to see him—to hear him. “He needs you ... I need you. Look at me! I need you to fucking hear me, Mia! Go find help!”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  “The only way to cheat death

  is by creating a love that

  will live forever.”

  —Oliver Masters

  mia.

  IT WAS MARCH 2ND.

  The clouds lie sad and heavy above us. I sat with my hands folded nervously in my lap and Tyler at my side. Lynch just gave a speech moments before at a makeshift podium seated at the top of the steps of Dolor. It looked like any other day, dark skies, black wardrobe, and whispers spreading in the small group of people who came.