Even When I'm Gone (Stay With Me series Book 2)

by Nicole Fiorina

  “Although we’ve come to the end of the road,” he sang.

  “Still I can’t let go,” Mia added, causing my head to snap in her direction. “It’s unnatural.”

  “You belong to me,” Jake sang.

  “I belong to you!” They both belted in unison.

  I’d stopped walking, and the two continued singing and spinning each other around in the grass for two more rounds of whatever this song was that they shared. I couldn’t wipe the stupid smile from my face. Mia’s brown hair whipped through the spring breeze, and Jake leaned her back into a proper dip. She couldn’t wipe the heart-stopping smile from hers, either.

  They laughed uncontrollably and turned to face me.

  “Don’t tell me you don’t know that song,” Jake asked with a hand digging into his hip, catching his breath. I threw up a hand in the air. “I’ll make love to you?” he asked, growing frustrated.

  “No, thank you,” I answered and walked toward the two.

  “How are you with this bloke?” Jake asked Mia incredulously.

  Mia recovered and jumped on my back. I grabbed her thighs, and she laughed into my neck as she tousled my hair. “I’ll introduce him to Boyz II Men,” she wrapped her arms around my neck, “when he’s ready.”

  We reached our spot in the woods, and I leaned back to guide Mia to her feet. Tyler and Jude sat over the broken tree limb, and Liam sent a nod over to Jake from the ground.

  “Hellos” exchanged, and I took a spot over the ground and pulled my knees up, more relaxed since the first day I’d come back.

  “There’s this game Mia and me started on the last day last year,” Jake said, taking a seat next to Liam. A pit formed in my stomach, thinking Mia had spent her last day last year without me. She had a memory I wasn’t a part of. She had seven months I hadn’t been a part of. “We go around and say one thing we’d been dying to say all year but was too ashamed to say. Kind of clear the air.”

  “What do you call this game?” I asked and grabbed Mia’s waist, who began to sit beside me but I positioned her between my legs. She should know better.

  “Just truth. No strip. No dare. Just the bloody truth.”

  “I like it,” I said, and kissed the side of her head. “What was yours last year?” I asked into her hair, immediately regretting it. Did I want to know?

  Mia shifted uncomfortably, and my heart sank. It had been about me.

  “Mia said Liam was a lousy fuck,” Liam blurted with an eye roll.

  “Why?” Mia threw her arms up and fell back into my chest.

  I chuckled and grazed my thumbs over the bare skin above her waistline.

  “For that, I’ll go first,” Liam offered. “It was sex with you that made me realize I loved dick.”

  The circle burst into a laugh, and Mia shook her head. “Bet you’ve been holding onto that for a whole year.”

  “As a matter of fact, yes. This whole gathering was my idea.”

  “Okay, okay, my turn,” Jake cut in, squeezing Liam’s shoulder. “Believe it or not, I’m glad Mia spilled her secrets in that journal. If she hadn’t, Liam would still be in the closet.”

  “I suspected Jude was the prankster this whole time,” Mia confessed. “Sorry, Jude.”

  Jude packed his cigarette pack and shrugged. “It’s cool. I don’t blame you. I was a wanker.”

  Tyler scrunched her face. “They just didn’t know you like I do.”

  “Nah, I should’ve never treated you the way I did. That’s not like me.”

  “Fuck, this is therapeutic, yeah?” I laughed, seeing all the love pouring from the circle of outcasts. “Who knew we could’ve ever gotten to a place like this.”

  The circle went silent into deep thought.

  “Bloody truth? I’ve fantasized about fucking Ollie,” Tyler blurted.

  “And then she goes and does that,” Jude shook his head.

  “What?” Tyler lifted her shoulders. “This is a safe place.”

  “Bloody truth? I just learned your name like a month ago,” I rushed in to save the moment.

  “I wonder what ever happened to Brianna,” Mia mumbled out loud once laughter died. Brianna had been banished from Dolor shortly after Madilyn and Zeke’s death, never to be seen or heard from since that day. There hadn’t been a single mention of Brianna’s name either, or why she would have agreed to switch identities with Madilyn.

  Everyone offered a wordless shrug.

  “Bloody truth?” Tyler spoke up. “What’s Officer Scott’s story with you? Brianna and Madilyn both said you two were together.”

  The knot in my stomach increased to the size of an American football and my teeth clenched. Mia’s fingers circled my knee caps.

  Three.

  Two.

  One.

  Exhale.

  “There is no story,” Mia said casually. “Ethan—

  “Oh, he has a name,” Jake interrupted.

  Mia dropped her head and narrowed her eyes in his direction. “Officer Scott is intense, but he was the only one who was there when everyone else bounced, so … ” she lifted her shoulder.

  Tyler nudged her head. “Earmuffs, Ollie.” I flipped her the bird. Whatever she was about to say, she could say it. I already knew everything. “Suit yourself.” Her eyes darted to Mia. “You and Officer Scott had sex, didn’t you? Is he really a fucking monster under his uniform?”

  “Ooh, does the carpet match the drapes?” Jake asked with an anticipated smile.

  Mia shook with laughter in my arms, and I didn’t know if I was relieved I couldn’t see her face to catch her expression, or mad about it. “You guys are horrible.”

  “Ah, keeping to your guns on this one, yeah?” Tyler shook her head. “That answers it.”

  Mia turned in my arms, and I fell back to my elbows. She blinked slowly, the complete opposite of what my heart was doing. “I love you,” she whispered.

  The three single words were rare coming from her lips.

  She never had to remind me, but in times such as these, it was everything my body needed to relax. Mia pulled her hair over her head into a band, and stubborn strands danced in the wind. “Say it again,” I demanded, needing to hear it. It wasn’t a question.

  Mia’s hands slid down my thighs, and the blood rushed to both heads.

  “I love you, Ollie,” she smiled, and I pulled her on top of me to hide my hard-on growing in my joggers from the rest of the group. Her eyes bulged. My face heated, and I shrugged my shoulders. Yes, love. That is what you do to me.

  “I’m telling everyone,” I whispered to her. She knew it had been hard for me to hold in the news that she would soon be my wife. “Can I tell them? Yeah, I’m telling them.”

  Mia’s hand came over my mouth, and I darted my tongue out. Her jaw dropped and she quickly pulled her hand away. “Bloody fucking truth,” I called out, sitting back up and wrapping her legs around my torso. “I’m marrying this girl,” I pointed at Mia’s head who was now hiding in my chest. I pulled her head away and looked into those coffee-colored eyes, seeing the same girl I’d fallen in love with across the mess hall since day one. “And I can’t fucking wait, love. I can’t. I don’t want to.”

  Gasps spread from the group around us, but my eyes stayed on her. Jake made a comment about calling maid of honor before I’d proposed and having rights. Tyler whined about not being able to go at all and how it wasn’t fair.

  But my gaze and lips touched all over her.

  We kissed until the topic changed.

  We got lost inside our own little world.

  We held each other until it was just us two left out here, soaking in the sun, the breeze, and each other.

  “The second we’re released, I’m waiting outside those walls for you, and we’re taking a car to the closest train station. We’re going straight to Gibraltar.
We don’t have to wait,” I kissed her soft lips and dropped my head to hers. “Come with me. All I’m asking is for two days before you go back to the states. This will work.”

  Mia ran her tongue across her bottom lip. “Ollie,” she sighed and averted her eyes.

  “No, don’t say my name like that,” I rolled my forehead against hers. I felt it—the uneasiness creeping from her and crawling under my skin. “I don’t like it. Don’t pull back on me. Say you want this, too. Say you’ll meet me outside those gates on release day, Mia.”

  “We shouldn’t have this conversation right now.”

  “love … ”

  “I’m scared,” she admitted, unable to look at me directly.

  I grabbed her face. “I have you.”

  “What if I go to the states and they won’t let me come back.”

  “Then I will come to you. Always. Wherever you are, I’ll fucking follow.”

  “What if you can’t get a passport?”

  “Mia, stop. This will work out. It has to. Let me worry about all that stuff. All I’m asking is to meet me right out there on release day. That’s it. I’ll take care of the rest.”

  “I don’t know if I can marry you then go back to Pennsylvania alone.”

  “Then you won’t go alone. We’ll go together. We’ll go to Spain, get married, and take the first flight out to Pennsylvania.”

  “You live in a fairy tale,” she smiled, “Real life doesn’t work like that, Ollie. Something will come up. We have no money. We have no car. We’ll never be out of the woods.”

  I had less than thirty days to get the documents in order. Too much time had been wasted already. I sent a quick nod to Jinx, pushed through the door, and picked up the receiver to dial Travis.

  “Twenty-eight days,” he greeted me, only reminding me my time was ticking.

  “I need you to do something for me.”

  “Yeah, mate. Anything.”

  mia.

  Release day—nothing like graduation days in America that you would see on TV.

  I’d never had a graduation. I was homeschooled during my Junior and Senior year. My graduation day had consisted of a diploma delivered by the United States Postal Service. Not even by hand. The mailman had stuffed it into the mailbox along with the electric bill and an ad for a lawn service.

  Ollie had been busy the last couple of days. Each time I’d ask him what he was up to, the only response he could give was, “Getting our shit together.”

  Good enough for me.

  Though I had not expected to wake up on release day alone in our bed. The moon and the sun competed outside when I opened my eyes. I stretched out my arm beside me, feeling nothing but an empty cold side. Panic set in, and I sat up, allowing the blankets to bunch at my waist. At the same time, the door creaked open, and Ollie came through balancing two cups under his chin and a brown bag tucked under his arm.

  “Where were you?” I asked as he kicked the door closed.

  Ollie dropped the bag into my lap and shifted the cups into both hands. He leaned over and landed a kiss over my lips before sitting on the edge of the mattress. “Happy release day, love.”

  “Is that what I think it is?” I asked, staring at the bag between my legs.

  Ollie handed me a cup. “Working on baby number three,” he took a sip from his cup, closed his eyes, savored, and swallowed. It had been so long since I’d seen him do that. That small gesture told me he’d been waiting for that first sip until he got back to me. “Eat. We have no time to waste.”

  In no time, I scarfed down the glazed croissant before Ollie rushed me out the door. “You’re freaking me out. What’s gotten into you?” I asked as he pulled me down the hallway.

  “I have ten minutes before the rest of the campus wakes up. Ten minutes,” Ollie pushed through the door and turned to face me, grabbing two towels from the shelf with a rebellious smile. “You and I are making love in that shower one last time,” he took a step forward, eating the distance between us, “I promised myself I’d never fuck you like that again, so this time will be different. I’m going to fuck you, Mia, then make sweet love to you, then go back and do it all over again. I want you fast, slow, and turn you into a pile of fucking mess in my arms. Is that okay with you?”

  My tongue wasn’t working. I opened my mouth and shut it again. Ollie raised a brow. “Yeah,” I cleared my throat. “yeah, that sounds … yeah.”

  “Good.” Ollie threw the towels over his shoulder and picked me up in his arms walking me into our stall until my back hit the wall. He flipped the water on, and ice-cold water sprayed over us, but neither one of us cared.

  It happened quick—the tearing off of clothes. My legs clenched around Ollie’s waist all while his tongue collided with mine. “Christ, Mia … always ready,” he breathed against my mouth. “Forgive me,” he rushed out before snaking his arm behind my back, and slammed inside.

  The instant connection was mind-blowing.

  Ollie held true to his word.

  He took me hard and deep with angelic hands and the kiss of a saint.

  Then we made slow, sweet love.

  And then he did it all over again.

  And not just in the shower—in the library, too.

  “I’m going to be busy for most of the day,” Ollie informed as we got dressed in our nook under the skylight. He pulled his Poetic hoodie over his head and pushed his overgrown hair back. His eyes hit mine, and he shook his head with disbelief in his eyes and whispered to himself, “I don’t deserve you.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his raw lips gently. Ollie’s fingers dragged down my sides, sending shivers up my spine. “Are you going to be okay without me?”

  I nodded, and his mouth inched down my neck. “What’s keeping you from spending the day with me? What’s so important?” I asked, struggling to hold it together while his mouth covered my nipple.

  “Our future,” he looked up from below, “but if you don’t put your shirt back on, that will be at risk.” I dropped my head back and laughed, and Ollie’s hands gripped my sides as he came back up. “There are last-minute things I need to take care of,” his hands drifted up to my chest, my neck, then cupped my face, “Three-o-clock, love. I’ll have our bags packed and a car waiting for us. Say it, Mia. Say Three-o-clock.”

  “Three-o-clock.”

  Ollie kissed me. “I love you so fucking much.”

  “I love you more.”

  Ollie kissed me again.

  My head darted over to Liam. “You can’t seriously go back to that house,” he whisper-shouted. “They are poison. He’s going to send you away … and what’s next? Military school?”

  My head snapped to Jake.

  “You don’t know him,” Jake seethed.

  Liam slammed his palm over the table in the mess hall, and my head darted back to him. “He doesn’t know you! Not like I do!” Liam shouted.

  My head whipped back and forth between the two as if I were caught in an episode of Jerry Springer, when finally, I held up a palm in both their faces. “You guys need to chill out. Take it somewhere else. You’re ruining release day for me,” I pouted. “Jake, what is keeping you from going with Liam?”

  “Easy,” he fell back into the chair and crossed his legs. “My dad would kill me.”

  I nodded and tilted my head. “Convincing argument.”

  “Bullshit excuse.” Liam released his band, and his blond hair fell over his shoulders. He twisted the rubber band around his wrist nervously. “I’ve been gay for what? Two fucking seconds, and already both my parents are accepting and offered to open their house to you. Your dad is a coward. Hardly a man of God.”

  “Whoa,” I cut in.

  Jake’s eyes bulged before he leaned forward. “My dad wasn’t raised by gormless white trash, pikey. He has standards. Pardon me if those standards are over y
our head.”

  “Do you even hear yourself?” Liam matched Jake’s distance, and his blond hair fell over his face. “You know … I pity you, Jake. Really, I do. Don’t be crying for me when you’re standing in the desert with a SA80 strapped around your shoulder and piss running down your leg.” Liam jumped up, the chair screeched against the marble, and he took off, but not before flipping the chair to the ground.

  My eyes slid back to Jake, who had his lips pursed, and arms crossed firmly over his chest.

  “He has a point,” I stated.

  “Bugger off, Crap-bag. No one asked you,” Jake said, moving his head back and forth.

  I stood to my feet and dropped my head, so we were eye level. “He obviously loves you, and I know you love him too. You’re not choosing Liam over your father by doing this, you’re choosing love. Go with him. I promise you, if you don’t, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Now get your head out of your ass and go after him.”

  With that, I left.

  Two hours left before three-o-clock, and there was one last person I had to see before making my way to Lynch’s office to sign out. Tyler, Jude, and I said our goodbyes the day before, and Dr. Conway and me celebrated our last session last week. The rest of these two hours I’d saved for Ethan.

  I searched the entire floor—every room, every hall, every bathroom. Nothing. I turned the hall, and my gaze fell on Liam and Jake in a deep make-out session at the end. From the looks of it, Jake came to his senses, and my heart squeezed in my chest. My feet made their way up the stairs to the third floor where the classrooms were, and again, I searched every room.

  And my eyes checked every clock I’d passed to keep up with the time.

  An hour and a half left.

  I pushed through the last door when I heard sounds coming from an adjoined abandoned room. When I made it to the door, I slowly pushed it open. “Ethan?” I called out.

  I made it through the door and completely froze at the view before me.

  Lionel, a student I’d only known in passing, hung from the ceiling, kicking his legs back and forth over an abandoned chair with a rope around his neck. I wanted to scream, but fear wrapped a tight leash around my throat. I tried to run, but my feet felt as if they were nailed to the ground.