Gazelle

by Bello, Gloria

“I know, I’m sorry.”

  They stand, their foreheads pressed against one another for a long time.

  “Are things going to be weird now?” she asks.

  “It would be weird if they weren’t,” he whispers, smiling.

  The hostess leads him through a maze of white and green tables underneath large umbrellas and foliage from gnarled trees that sway in the December morning at the Polo Lounge. The patio is nearly empty, most people preferring indoor seating to the nippy, early hours. The hostess moves through the serpentine rows, to a table in direct sunlight. Julian smiles down at Mike who talks rapidly into his phone.

  “Here you go, sir,” she says while pulling his chair out for him and placing the menu on the table. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

  “Do you have iced green tea?” Julian asks.

  “We do.”

  “Great, thanks.”

  “Make that two,” Mike says, putting his phone down. He stares at Julian for a moment, his mouth contorted into a hesitant smile. “Late night?”

  Julian laughs and picks up the menu. “Why, do I look like shit? Where’s Nathan?”

  “He’s running a little late. It’s good, it gives us a chance to catch up.”

  Julian looks up at Mike over his menu. The agent openly scrutinizes him, tapping his fingers on his phone. He notices he cannot see Mike’s eyes through the sunglasses and slowly pulls his own out, having tucked them away when he stepped into the building. He slides them on and returns his attention to the menu.

  “Did you get a chance to look over those scripts I gave your assistant?”

  “Uh…sort of. I brought them to Costa Rica and looked them over on the plane. I didn’t really feel any of them, you know.”

  Mike falls into an unnatural silence, causing Julian to stop. “Why? Is something wrong?”

  “No, no,” Mike says casually. “Nothing’s wrong. I thought maybe you might have been interested in a few of them, that’sall. Kind of your style.”

  “I can’t really think about anything else so much right now. And, uh, most of them were sort of…”

  “What?”

  “Obvious. Lame. There was like, no complexity to the stories or the characters. Totally predictable…I don’t know. I sort of feel like they were going backwards.”

  “Backwards, huh? That’s kind of funny, actually.” Mike laughs. “In an ironic way, of course.”

  “What do you mean? What are you getting at, Mike, you’re acting really strange.”

  “Have you talked to Rhonda today?”

  “It’s 8 AM. I haven’t talked to anyone…Why?”

  “I have. I’ve talked to someone. I talked to Charles Wallace. Do you know Charles?”

  “No.”

  “No, you don’t. You don’t because Rhonda and I go through very meticulous, painstaking care to shield you from guys like ol’ Charlie,” he mumbles, scooping up his phone and typing furiously. “I just sent you a little present. Open it.”

  Julian laughs uncomfortably and picks up his vibrating phone. He hits his texts, sees Mike’s message and opens it. A picture of him and Alice at the drive-thru. He is smiling, a smile he has never seen on his own face. His face is barely recognizable as his own, full of humility and totally disarmed, like a child. Alice, however, wears no make-up and is scowling, her cleavage spilling out of her tight dress as she leans towards the camera in mid sentence, her mouth hanging open, her hair a tangled mess, a bag of fast food in her hand. It is the worst picture of her he could have imagined.

  “Oh, shit…” he whispers.

  “Yes! That’s exactly what I said! ‘Oh, shit’…followed by a series of threats I plan for Wallace involving a very large knife and his sagging, shit sack career. A threat I intend to follow through with right after this meeting. I mean, fuck, Julian. What the fuck, c’mon!”

  Julian smirks and tosses his phone down. He picks up the menu and starts reading again. “Who cares, so what?”

  “Who cares? Are you kidding me right now? Do you not remember the photo of Brittany and herdrive-thru dining experience? Did you not see what’s sitting next to you? I mean, Jesus Christ, she looks like a half dead hooker! What the fuck did you guys do last night?”

  “Nothing! She does not! She had some trouble and I picked her up, that’s all,” Julian answers defensively.

  “And then what, got hungry?”

  “Yeah, sure, why not? What’s the big deal?”

  “They’re printing that you’re fucking her. You’re fucking your assistant. It’s going to be a huge scandal. There are parasites outside Sharleen’sapartment, right now, waiting to get a reaction shot.”

  “Oh, fuck…” Julian whispers, panic setting in.

  “Yes, thatis more like it. I want you to appreciate the possible magnitude of the situation. This could spiral completely out of control and ruin Nathan’s project before it even starts. People love Sharleen, they adore her, she’sperfect. Her dad’s a Hollywood icon, for fuck’s sake! They find out you’re screwing around-”

  “I’m not!”

  “-With this second-class troll, in public-”

  “Ay! Don’t fucking call her that!” Julian growls, slamming his palm down.

  Mike purses his lips and removes his sunglass. He squints hard at the young actor while he regains his composure. Julian breathes slowly and steadily, forcing himself to calm down.

  “Here you go, two iced green teas. Are you ready to order?” a waitress announces cheerfully.

  “Give us a minute, honey,” Mike grumbles. The waitress nods and shrinks quietly away from the tension.

  “What do I do, then? Should I make some sort of announcement or have Rhonda issue a release?” Julian asks.

  “Don’t worry about the release or Rhonda, that’s what you pay her for. What you do now is take Sharleenaway for the week, some place public. We’ll make sure there’s lots of pictures. This can be a big thing or a nothing. If you act like you’re okay, you guys are in love and never been happier, this will probably just blow over.”

  “I can’t just leave…what about Nathan?”

  “I’ve already talkto him about it. He understands completely. There’s nothing really left to do, anyways. Enjoy this time while you have it, I suppose.”

  “…And Alice?”

  Mike sighs and drinks his tea, frowning at the taste in disgust. “Why’d I order this? It taste like feet.”

  “What about Alice, Mike?”

  “Well, if you send her away or fire her right now, you look guilty. But if you parade her in public, in any way whatsoever, you also look guilty. So…I would just say business as usual. But anything outside of business, like the shit last night, you’re on your own. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, a friend giving another friend a ride home or whatever the fuck you were doing, but you have to understand that this type of situation is no longer congruent with your reality.”

  “ ‘Congruent.’ As in…?”

  “As in, you are not the type of person to be seen driving through a drive-thru, hanging out with thattype of person,” he says, jabbing his middle finger on Alice’s face. “Rhonda and I worked really fucking hard helping you and Sharleenalong, this completely undermines that effort.”

  “How?” Julian laughs. “How, exactly, did you‘help us along?’ I mean, beside proposing some bullshit‘beard’ situation that neither of us were even into?”

  Mike looks at him, hard. “There are things you will never understand, Julian, about this business, don’t need to understand. You make movies, you act, youmake‘art.’ But you do it in a warzone of hellfire and heartbreak. And ten steps ahead of you are people like Rhonda and me, making sure you don’t step on a landmine that blows that pretty face of yours to shit. Keep that in mind the next time you pull a stunt like this, okay, buddy?”

  The banner is too long for the hearth. She bends the edges, tucks the lettering closer together, but it will not fit above the fireplace like CeCe demanded.

  �
�If I clip‘Merry’ and‘Good,’ then it’ll say‘Christmas Luck’…which is kind of the same thing, I guess,” she mumbles, tearing through the sign with her box cutter.

  Caterers move about the room in relative silence as they set up tiny dishes of appetizers and treats around an enormous tree decorated with precise detail.

  “Oh! The tree is lovely!” CeCe sighs in contentment.

  “Yep. Decorator did a great job. Looks just like home…minus the homemade, salt dough ornaments and the crocheted angel,” Alice nods.

  “It’s just…what you would picture the perfect tree looking like, right? I can’t wait for him to see it, he’s going to love it,” she squeals. She brings an expensive, crystal wine glass to her lips and sips, staring dreamily up at the tree.

  “He told me he hated Christmas,” Alice says.

  “Yes, he does. With a passion. But the setting can make all the difference,” she says, putting an arm around Alice. “And we did a great job with this one.”

  Alice smirks at her. “Are you drunk?”

  “What? Get out of town! I’m not drunk, this is my one and only,” CeCeexclaims. “Do you want a glass?”

  “No, I don’t do wine. And I’m a little too nervous, I think. I shouldn’t drink,” she says softly.

  “Don’t worry, everything will be fine. His family will be here at six. Everyone else will show up a little after that. Hor dourves, drinks, and then just casual mingling until everyone decides the polite time to leave without looking like they want to leave. It’ll be great.”

  Alice tapes the sign together into one solid piece. “That’s not why I’m nervous. He hasn’t really spoken to me since he left. Don’t you think it’s weird? He just…leaves like that?”

  CeCe sighs and sips her drink again. When he told them he was leaving for Carmel with Sharleen for a few days, they did not protest or question the poor timing of his trip. They all know it was the smartest thing he could have done, given the circumstances. But neither she nor Alice has been willing to speak on the matter, or about anything at all, other than the party. Alice has gone through her duties completely withdrawn the past week, more so than any other occasion CeCe can recall, and the former felt it would be just painful to push the issue any further than it already had been.

  “He’s not upset with you,” CeCereassures. “You know why he had to leave.”

  “I know why, and it was good that he did. But he hasn’t called or texted since. Not even when his family got into town. His brother was kind of pissed, I think, when I told him.”

  “Pissed how?”

  “He said something like, ‘I didn’t realize we had come at such an inconvenient time for my brother.’ I didn’t know what to say. It was kind of embarrassing,” she says.

  “Don’t worry about it. He and his brother don’t have the best relationship. They’re always squabbling about something, I’m sure it has more to do with that than Julian leaving for a few days.”

  “And what about Sharleen?” Alice asks softly, whispering so the caterers can’t hear her. “I haven’t seen her since. She was already awful…what do you think she’s going to do now that she thinks I’m doing her boyfriend?”

  CeCesmiles a wicked grin into her cup. “I think she’ll do absolutely nothing. She wouldn’t want to upset the script.”

  Alice gives her a quizzical look, to which CeCe rolls her eyes.

  “Sharleenand Julian both want the same thing. Tonight is about looking good, happy, robust and full of life. There won’t be any little snarky comments or condescending tones from her, you wait. She’ll be on her best behavior because she’s scared.”

  “Of what?”

  “Of ruining the one thing that’s going to make her famous, really famous. That’s all she cares about, in the end. That’s how you know she’ll be good to Julian…”CeCe says, somewhat remorsefully.

  “…You mean until he’s not famous anymore, right?”

  CeCesmiles and hugs her quickly. “Look at my girl! She finally gets it!”

  “No, I got it a long time ago,” Alice laughs. “Remember that awful, first picture?”

  “Oh my god, yes! Mike made sure that was in every little shit tabloid he could find and all over the web before the two had even checked out!”

  Alice frowns, staring at her in disbelief. “Wait, Mike did that?”

  CeCerolls her eyes again. “See, I thought you were there with me but I seem to continuously overestimate you. Of course Mike planted it. He planned that whole thing, from the start. Let me let you in on a little secret. Mike did the same exact thing with Julian before, only it was reversed. Lindsay was the big name, and Julian was coming up. Now Julian’s the name, and Sharleen is coming up. The only difference is that Sharleenis a talentless skank. Regardless of the success Julian may gather with his career, it’ll never be enough to mask the fact that his girlfriend is a joke.”

  Alice fiddles with the banner and processes this information. It all made perfect sense. She felt naïve for not realizing it on her own. And then the horrible reality of the situation set in. “Julian doesn’t see it, does he?”

  “No, I don’t think so, hon,” CeCesays. “I’m sure he’s aware of it on some level, but for the most part, he is going through the motion, hoping for the best. He loved Lindsay, undoubtedly. I don’t think Mike counted on that, I don’t think Lindsay did, either. With Sharleen, it’s a relief to know he definitely does not love her. When it ends this time, the man will recover without batting an eye, I’m sure.”

  “He doesn’t love her? Are you sure?”

  CeCe smiles at her, both of them knowing what the question implied. “Positive.”

  Julian steps through the doors of his foreign home cautiously. He carries his bags in one hand and his presents in the other, studying the strewn faux holly and dancing flicker of candle light in the hall. He looks into his living room in awe. He studies the new mahogany and white furniture, decorations everywhere of tiny straw globes, green and red tinsel surrounding a great tree decked out likea Martha Stewart Christmas cover and overflowing with gifts. A sign that reads‘Christmas Luck’ is stretched over the mantle, stockings dangling and overfilled along its ledge, lined with even more candles all lit and dancing.

  “ ‘Christmas Luck?’ What the hell is‘Christmas Luck’?” he mutters.

  “You’re back!” CeCesmiles as she enters from the kitchen. “Just in time!”

  “Nobody’s here yet?”

  “Nope. They won’t be for another hour or so, so you have plenty of time to spruce up. Where’s Sharleen?”

  “I dropped her off at her place. She’s going to be here later. She wanted to get ready in her own bathroom. Where’s Alice?”

  “Alice did the same. She helped set everything up and then went home, too. She’s picking up Scott on her way here. How was your trip?” she asks as she removes the gifts from his grip.

  “Great. Beautiful. Really, really beautiful. We went to the aquarium.”

  “Did you? That’s nice,” she smiles.

  “Yeah…I think Sharleenwas a little bored. I loved it, though. Alice always talks about that place and she’s right, it is really something. Like a whole other world.”

  He starts to climb the stairs and stops. “Did my brother call? He hasn’t been answering his phone.”

  “Um, yes, I believe so. Alice spoke with him earlier. Your family will definitely be here,” she responds.

  “Great. It’s going to be fun,” he says through gritted teeth.

  “It will! Go get ready.”

  He steps out of the shower and grabs a towel, glancing at his phone. Not one call. He hadn’t heard a single word from Alice for nearly a week. Since the beginning of their relationship, he can’t remember having gone so long without hearing from her. Each time he tried to text or call, he felt it was forced and unnatural. When he told her he was leaving for a few days, the look on her face was completely unreadable. He couldn’t tell if she was mad or ashamed, or relieved. There
was a smile of sorts that played on her lips for a second but quickly vanished. They didn’t mention the parking lot at all, nor the horrible photo. And, like Mike said, the story died in its track as soon as Julian and Sharleen were photographed all over the bay dining and shopping. Rumors were made of their possible engagement.

  He snorts at the thought and sits on the toilet, scooping up his phone. There should be some communication. He should say something before he sees her. Letting it go this long has just made it even more awkward and uncomfortable for all of them. He scrolls to her name and hits‘text.’

  Julian: Hey.

  A few moments pass. He studies himself in the mirror, his freshly shaven jaw and slicked back hair. There are bags under my eyes, he thinks. Maybe I should get a facial tomorrow. His phone vibrates.

  Alice: What’s up, stranger?

  Julian: Nothing. I just got back. How are you?

  Alice: Fine. Getting ready for your big party tonight. Are you excited?

  Julian: Oh yeah. Thrilled. Can’t wait.

  Alice: Sarcasm doesn’t read well in text messages usually but that was very clear. Good job. How was your trip?

  Julian: Good. We went to the aquarium. I thought about you the whole time.

  He freezes, rereading the sentence before deleting it.

  Julian: Good. Just what I needed.

  There is no response for a while, a long while. He wraps the towel around his waist and brushes his teeth, staring down at the silent phone. Finally, it vibrates and he nearly drops his toothbrush trying to pick it up.

  Alice: That’s good, I’m glad. Do you need me to get anything for you on my way there? Last chance!

  Julian: No, I’m good. You think you could sched a facial for me tomorrow? If not, the next day?

  Alice: You got it, boss. Over and out.

  He frowns and tosses the phone on his sink. She’s never called him boss before. Never even hinted that she felt like he was her boss. His mind rapidly sorts through the hundreds of meaningless tasks he has asked her to perform, analyzing whether there was anything remotely‘boss-like’ in his tone. He dismisses the thought with a scowl and heads to his closet.