Inked

by Mia Ford

  As she leaves my office, the gossiping girls stop, but I still know what’s going on. I’m sure everyone is curious as to what’s going on. They must have an idea, but knowing for sure is something else. I don’t care if they know or not. I’m not doing anything wrong by chasing my happiness with the woman I love. When she eventually caves and comes to live with me, everyone will know anyway. And as our baby is born, well we can’t hide it then, can we? Then there will come the day when I propose of course, and we plan our wedding…

  God, I can’t wait for the way when Lexi becomes my wife. It’ll be the best day ever. I can just see her now in a gorgeous white dress and a glittering ring sitting on her finger, making her my own. Sealing our love forever.

  “Oh fuck!” All of a sudden, I hear my father. He’s back to ruin my happiness yet again. He seems to have impeccable timing. Just as things start to look good for me, in he strides. And this time, it might be really bad because I’m sure that he has a revenge plan for me about to come to fruition.

  This is bad because Lexi is here today. I don’t want her to hear him saying shit things about her.

  “Staff meeting!” Dad cries out, trying to get the attention of everyone. “Staff meeting everyone.”

  “Staff meeting?” I mutter to myself. Usually he only wants to speak to me or Charlie. He leaves the day to day running to us, and the dealing with the people below him. He will go around and speak to them, showing off like crazy, making sure that everyone hears him as he gives me shit, but this is different.

  He might be about to kick me out now. Since I didn’t agree to his plan, this might well be his way of getting rid of me. This is just the sort of way that he’d love to do it. With an audience.

  As I leave my office, I jut my chin out and hold my head up high. Let him do this. It’ll suck, but I will survive. Plus, I really don’t give a shit if he wants to do it in front of everyone else to make a show. Let him.

  I stand at the back of the crowd and fold my arms to hold myself together. I glare at my father, letting him know just how I feel but he doesn’t even deem me important enough to look at. He gives every other person nice smiles and little greetings, but his own son isn’t damn good enough.

  What an asshole. At least he is teaching me one thing, and that’s how not to be a father. I won’t make any of these mistakes. I intend to actually be a good parent to my child, and build a good relationship. I’m going to be everything that he isn’t. I can’t wait to be the decent dad, to be an awesome parent.

  “Thank you all for coming over to me. I appreciate that.” Dad nods and smiles thinly, making a big show. “I know you all have a lot to do and I am always happy to see you working hard. But today, I have something very important to discuss with you. Something that affects us all. I mean, this company needs to work well for us all to have our jobs. That’s why we all want to make it a success, don’t we?”

  He looks around at everyone expectantly and they all give him what he wants by making agreeable noises. It’s almost laughable really. They are all walking headfirst into his trap and they don’t even seem to notice.

  “So, if people aren’t acting according to the employee handbook then they will have to go.”

  Okay, here we go… right towards the tunnel of doom. The focus will turn on me at any given moment.

  “Employee relationships are frowned upon. Obviously, we can’t always avoid them, but they certainly can’t happen under this roof here. That is incredibly inappropriate. I would assume that you all know that…”

  A small whisper bursts up. I don’t know why, it isn’t exactly like they don’t know who it is. I roll my eyes almost to the back of my head. This is fucking ridiculous. I can’t stand it. I wish that he would just get on with it already. Put me out of my misery. Let this day carry on without me.

  “So, with that being said, since there has been a relationship going on, happening underneath this ceiling, which has also led to unfair financial benefits as well, and offers that other employees wouldn’t have been given, plus there is now a baby on the way because of this… someone has to go.”

  My fists ball up as an ice cold anger over takes me. I didn’t tell my dad that so he could spread the information around. What sort of prick is he? Every single time I think he can’t get any worse, he does.

  “Lexi Tyler.” What the fuck? I can’t breathe. “You are fired…”

  She lets out a howl, unlike anything I have ever heard from a human being before, and she runs from the building. I want to run after her, but I’m frozen to the spot, trying to work out if this is a nightmare or not.

  “So, please,” Dad continues with a smirk that I know is just for me. “Take this as a warning.”

  There are sore words, but they don’t sink in. My brain is buzzing with sheer fucking anger and fear. I have no idea what this means, but I know that I have to do something. If that’s a way my father thinks is acceptable to behave, then I am done. I don’t need him in my family at all. It might mean that I don’t get to see my mom as much then so be it. I won’t like that, but I can’t exactly do anything about it, can I?

  “Fuck you…” Those words must come out of my mouth louder than I intend to because it silences everyone. All eyes swivel around to look at me, their eyes widen in surprise. I consider walking away for a moment, but then I realize that I have more to say, and now is the time. “Fuck you, Dad, you are an asshole. I can’t believe you would do that to me. To Lexi. You have no idea what you have just done. I mean, that woman… no, you know what, I’m not going to tell you because you don’t deserve to know. Especially since you have done this in the most embarrassing, public way possible. You’re a prick. So, fuck you. If this is how you do business, then I am out. I’m done with this place and you. Fuck you.”

  I leave an audible gasp behind me, but I know this is the right thing to do. It’s time to get out of this mess at last.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Lexi

  I run all the way home, tears streaming down my cheeks, anger rising through me as I go. I can’t believe that just happened. Isaac warned me about his dad being a prick, but this is… just wow. He thinks that I’m less than him, this much is obvious. Because I’m not rich, and I don’t look like he thinks I should, I don’t even deserve a private firing. I’m less than a fucking animal in his eyes.

  He wants me out of his son’s life, just like I knew he would, I just didn’t think he would go about it like this. That was low, manipulative, disgusting, the worst. I would never treat another human that way. I’m sure it’s given people a whole lot to gossip about, which they’ll love. Not that I really care. I have more important things to worry about, like money. I know that I might not have to pay for Jane’s treatment anymore, but I still want to be able to buy her stuff to make her time in the hospital more bearable. Plus, I have my apartment costs to cover. I don’t want to have to move in with Isaac out of need. If that happens, it would be better if it was because we want to. And my baby as well. I need to have lots of stuff for my child…

  I grab my apartment keys out of my bag and with a trembling hand I unlock the door. I fall through the door and without thinking much about it, I grab a giant bag out from the cupboard and start tossing things in it. I need to be away from this place for a bit, have a break, get my head together. I don’t intend to go too far because I need to be around for Jane, but I can’t be here. This has fucked me up too much.

  The lengths that he went to, in an attempt to split us up, just proves what I already feared. If Isaac remains with me, he will lose everything. I can’t ask that of him, it isn’t right. He will end up resenting me, and we’ll be doomed. I know that if my mom was still here and she didn’t approve, I wouldn’t be able to carry on, so I can’t expect him to. Just like my rational brain knew, outside factors are powerful enough to tear us apart. I got lost in the romance for a little bit – but I can’t again. My heart can’t take it. I already feel utterly shattered by this moment, and the deeper
I get, the worse it will become.

  Of course I’m not going to be lucky enough to have an amazing baby daddy. Why would that happen to me? I have never been as lucky as that. I don’t know why that would be different now.

  There’s a knocking at the door, which makes me groan so loudly my bones vibrate. I don’t want to see anyone right now, I just want to wallow as I pack and make my escape to God knows where.

  “Lexi, it’s me,” Isaac calls through the door. Of course it’s him. I should have guessed. “Please, let me in.”

  I run to the door, but then I pause there and hold the knob in my fingers. Do I really want this?

  “Isaac, I just want to be alone,” I reply in a trembling voice. “Please, just leave me alone.”

  “No, please. I need to see you. I need to talk to you. My dad can think what he wants, he can continue being the asshole that he wants, but it doesn’t affect us. If only I’d known what he was going to do…”

  “Don’t worry, I don’t blame you. I know that wasn’t your fault…” I try to reassure him.

  “Lexi, I want to be with you. I know you’re probably thinking right now that we can’t be together because of my family, but I don’t care. I want you, I will give everything up for you.”

  I rest my head against the door, sadness engulfing me. “But you will have to give up everything. You’ll have to sacrifice so much for me, and I don’t want that. I don’t want you to lose it all…”

  “But I’ve already given it up. I’ve walked away from the job, because it isn’t what I want anyway. You know I want my own business, that’s what I have always wanted. This is just the boost I need to do it.”

  I know what he’s trying to do, but I can’t accept that. “It isn’t just your business though. It’s your family.”

  “If my dad doesn’t want me to be happy, then that’s up to him. I don’t care. I love you, Lexi. That’s all that matters to me. We have got such a wonderful relationship, I don’t know why that has to be ruined.”

  “You aren’t seeing the bigger picture,” I warn him. “I have had my family taken away from me without my control. I don’t want you to walk away from yours because you’ll regret it.”

  He’s silent for a bit too long, I know that I have gotten through. That fills me with sadness and relief all at once. I need him to understand, but it still hurts.

  “Please let me in, Lexi. Let me just see you. I don’t want it to be this way.”

  It sounds more like he’s accepting this is a goodbye now, so I click the door open and let him inside. He steps in with a heaviness to him, a sadness that everything between us is falling apart. This is the worst moment of our relationship so far, because it’s an acceptance that no matter what we want, we’re done.

  “Lexi, don’t let my father take you away,” he pleads, going for it one last time. “I don’t want that.”

  I avert my eyes away. “Isaac, I don’t want to, you know that, and I’m sure that this won’t be the last time we see one another because we share a child now. I’m sure you’ll want to see your baby, but as for me and you… I won’t let us get in the way of your family. It isn’t right.”

  “You’re my family now. You’re the mother of my child. Why aren’t you listening to me?”

  I shake my head, my insides tearing apart. I so want to, I want to give into everything that he wants to give me, but for once I’m trying to be smart. I’m trying not to let my heart over rule my head.

  I lean forward and touch Isaac on the cheek, my heart shredding even further as I do. “I think that it’s best for us to have some space, don’t you? To work out how to make this work for both us.”

  His hand rests on top of mine. “But I already know that I want it to work with us. I want us to be together.”

  “I know, but we need some time to work out if we can make it happen. You need to sort out your relationship with your father, and I need to focus on Jane. I can’t add more stress to that.”

  He narrows his eyes for a couple of moments, staring at me in shock, but I’m sure he knows that I’m right. This is complicated, we both have so much going on in our lives, we can’t make us work out through all of that. There might be time in the future maybe, but I can’t make that promise, just in case.

  “Lexi, you are my favorite person in the world. I can’t stand the idea of being without you.”

  “But you don’t just need me. You need other people as well. You know that.”

  He takes a step backwards, as he lets my words wash over him. “So, what is this? Us breaking up? Can we communicate? When do I get to know what’s going on with us?”

  My head falls forward and sickness swirls around in my stomach. “I don’t know what this is, Isaac. I just think we need a bit of space, that’s all. Just to sort our lives out.”

  He steps closer to me and grabs my waist before pressing his lips to mine. The kiss steals my breath away, it turns my knees to jelly, it reminds me how good things were between us. I know that it’s crazy to give it up, but this is all I can do. Right now, this is the best thing.

  “Okay,” Isaac tells me as he eventually pulls back from me. “You want space? That’s fine. Just know that I will be there for you. Whatever you need, I’m here. I will spend some time sorting myself out, so you don’t need to worry about me. You just focus on yourself and come back to me when you can.”

  I can see this is killing him and it crushes me. It makes me feel utterly gutted, but I let him go. He keeps his eyes on me as he makes his way towards the door, not taking them away from mine and shaking the magic of the moment, and then he’s gone. He’s vanished into nothingness, leaving me alone.

  This is what I need. Space is the right thing right now, but it sucks. It doesn’t feel good.

  I head back to packing, needing to get out of here even more now. I can’t be in this place with so many memories, so many feelings. I need to be in a blank slate, with nothing. Walls that I don’t recognize, a place with no thoughts of my own to circle around me, that’s the only way I can think straight. I need to decide what my future holds, what me and Isaac are going to be to one another, what our future holds.

  I wipe the tears away from my eyes and get to it, my heart pounding in my chest as I do. I have never been great at goodbyes. It doesn’t get any easier, no matter the situation. Goodbye is such a horrible, final word. I would love to go through the rest of my life never having to say it and knowing that it’s the last one, ever again. I suppose that isn’t possible, but it’s a nice thought. I suppose the ideal life that everyone would like, but since I’ve already been too much of it, I deserve a break, surely?

  “It might not be forever,” I try to convince myself. “His father might back down…”

  But I don’t think that he’s the sort of man who would. He seems determined and stubborn, like he will do anything to make sure he gets what he wants. Even if it’s evil and manipulative.

  Once I’m all packed up, I take one last look around my apartment, feeling very weird about it. I guess a part of me thought that the next time I left this house with bags in my hands, I would be giving in and moving in with Isaac, just like he wants me to. I never thought that it would be this way.

  Fuck, my life has been an emotional roller coaster for the last few months. I don’t even know where I am anymore, what I’m doing. I’m just a mess. I’m hoping this space eventually breeds clarity and answers for both of us. We need to decide what’s going on once and for all. Me and Isaac can’t go back and forth forever. We need to choose a path and stick to it. For our sake, and for our baby’s as well.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Isaac

  If Lexi wants me to make things right with my family, then that’s exactly what I’ll do. I might be mad as fuck about the whole situation, but I understand what she means, what she’s trying to do. With Lexi’s complicated family situation, of course she is going to want me to make things right… but it isn’t ever as simple as that. This animosity between me
and my father has been going on for years, this is just the culmination of that.

  But I do have one key I can use, and that’s the only solution that I can see right now.

  “Mom?” I call out as I step into the hallway. This is the home where I grew up, but it’s always felt like more of a house than a home. But not because of my mother. She’s always done what she can, but my dad rules the roost. “Mom, are you here? Can I talk to you about something?”

  “I’m in the dining room, Isaac. Come through… but aren’t you supposed to be at work right now?”

  I roll my eyes. I guess Dad hasn’t told her that I walked out. Probably because he knows that he’s in the wrong. I head into the dining room, noting the way that everything is exactly in its place, just like it’s always been. Mom looks exactly the same, like she’s been sculpted to fit a mold. Dad’s mold.

  “No, Mom, I’m not at work and I won’t be ever again. I can assure you of that.”

  “Oh no. Have you and your father had a falling out again? I thought things were better now.”

  “Mom, Dad has done the worst thing he could ever do to me. Me and him are done forever.”

  She takes in a deep breath before speaking. “It must be bad if you’re talking to me about it.”

  “It is. Mom, I have met a woman that I love. And I mean serious love.”

  “You have not?” She raises her eyebrow doubtfully at me. “Are you joking me?”

  “No, Mom. I wouldn’t say this as a joke. It’s the honest truth. Her name is Lexi and we’ve been dating for a while now. Dad doesn’t like it because as he put it ‘high society wouldn’t accept her’.”

  “Why not?” Mom demands. “What could he possibly have to say that for?”

  I pull out my phone and show her a photograph. “Because she has tattoos and looks a little different.”