The Lane

by Maura Rooney Hitzenbuhler

  Genevieve held onto the possibility that Kate, having to move in the New Year, might relocate in Gory. Alas, it was not to be. Neither would Kate be going to Gory for Christmas, but to the farm where she and the child spent their holidays.

  Eoin told Ned and Mary that his other grandmother, Genevieve, wished he and his mother would go to Gory and join the McCormack family for Christmas dinner. Ned and Mary, not wishing to separate Eoin and Kate from either family, extended an invitation to Genevieve, her sons and their families, to come for Christmas dinner at the farm. They were welcome to stay as many days as they wished, and all meals would be provided during their stay. However, since the farmhouse was too small to provide sleeping accommodation, they would need to book into the hotel in the town.

  Rory, Gwen, and Genevieve accepted the invitation and arrived at the Egan farm on Christmas Eve, about an hour after Kate and Eoin. Kieran and his family sent their regrets. Mary’s warmth and cheerfulness made the dubious Genevieve feel very welcome, and they became good friends. Eoin showed his Grandma Genevieve around the farm and introduced her to his pony.

  Looking at her son, Kate noticed how Eoin gravitated towards Rory whom he stood beside as they sang during midnight mass on Christmas Eve. He basked in his uncle’s words and delighted in his humor. Although Eoin had two grandfathers who loved him, Kate realized how much her son craved a father in these growing years.

  When Francis returns, what will life be like? When he left, he left a terrible void in my life. His love was freely given, only to be abruptly snatched away. That intense hurt, which she had thought would remain with her forever, had to some degree faded in the everyday tasks, difficulties, and joys of living. Knowing she was not the same person she once was caused her to wonder in what way would Francis have changed.

  After mass, Eoin proudly introduced his uncle to the celebrant as they walked out of the church into the night air.

  Kate wished to know where the extra horse came from. Ned explained that since she had mentioned that her brother rode, and the only riding horse on the farm was Roan, Francis’ horse now ridden by Kate, he borrowed a horse from a friend’s farm seven miles away. Rory and Kate rode out together into the brisk air on Christmas morning. Gwen, who did not ride, helped the women prepare breakfast.

  “This is a wonderful place,” Rory said, as he and Kate rubbed down the horses. “So many other things went wrong in your life.”

  “Yes, Rory, and so many truly lovely things entered it.”

  Mary served goose and ham from their farm and their own creamery butter. Both red and white wine was served with the meal, followed by Christmas pudding, which was a delight to all when the brandy was poured on top and lit. Tea and brandy accompanied thick slices of the rich dark Christmas pudding as a most fitting ending to a sumptuous meal.

  Kate wondered how Francis would spend Christmas. She hoped he was with friends at this special time of year. The old year was ending and another would soon begin. Will this be the year Francis will return home? What exactly would need to happen to bring him home?

  As they sat around the fire in the living room, each family got to know each other through conversations and remembrances. Then the singing began. Eoin was the first to sing. Ned said he did not sing but would recite Yeat’s poem, “The Lake Isle of Inisfree,” which he executed flawlessly and with intensity. Mary had a beautiful, soft sweet voice. Gwen and Rory did a hilarious song together which had everyone laughing. Then they urged all to join in the chorus, which they did with great gusto. Nobody wanted to call it a day, and so the evening became night, followed by morning before they retired to their beds.

  CHAPTER 12

  It took a year and a half to resettle all the lane people. Kate Egan and Eoin O’Toole, who had a house to move into, chose to stay in the lane until all the elderly, especially those whose children were in “far away lands,” as the older people called any country further than the British Isles, were resettled. Eoin O’Toole saw to it that their old age pensions were transferred to the post offices nearest their new homes. Eoin and Kate walked with them to the post office, introduced them and inquired on what day their pension money could be collected. Then they would take them to the parish church, obtain its mass schedule, and information on other services and activities. After locating the apothecary, the hospital, the greengrocers, and other shops within easy walking distance, Eoin and Kate treated the older people to lunch before returning with them to their new accommodations. Then they bade them goodbye and wished them happiness in their new homes.

  All the women who had banded together when anyone was in need—Liz, Siobhan, Monica, Kathleen, Tara, Peg, and Kate—agreed to get together for a day, once a year.

  “That makes parting a bit easier,” Tara said holding back the tears as each one of them left. They hugged and wept in each other’s arms.

  “God forgive them,” Kathleen said as she left the lane.

  Some turned back to wave and take a last look, but others could not look back at the devastation of the only home they, their parents, and grandparents had ever known. Who they were as a people was being buried in the rubble.

  At age six and one half, Eoin Egan was a happy boy. He made friends easily, and his passions were hurling and soccer, both of which he played at school. The strand was just downhill from his new home. Unlike the adults, Eoin was not burdened with feelings of loss on leaving the lane, and instead delighted in his new surroundings.

  As Eoin and his friends walked home from school on a beautiful autumn day, they kicked the leaves from the curb and watched them fly into the air, as they talked of Hallows Eve, just a fortnight away. Eoin also looked forward to his birthday at the end of November when he would become seven years old.

  Their frolicking came to a sudden stop as a car pulled up to the curb.

  “Eoin Egan,” a man seated in the back seat called out as he lowered the window.

  Eoin, astonished that a person he’d never before met, knew his name, stopped. The man opened the car door.

  “You lads can walk on. I just wish to speak to Eoin.” The man’s voice from within the car addressed the two other boys who had stopped to see what this interruption in their walk home was all about.

  After a moment’s hesitation, they did as the man suggested, although one them looked back asking his friend as he did so, “Shouldn’t we wait for Eoin?”

  “The man knows him. Didn’t he call him by name?”

  “Yes, but look here, John, the man pulled Eoin into the car. Now if Eoin wanted to get in, why would the man need to pull him into the car?”

  “It looked to me like Eoin got in by himself. All the man did was hold out an arm to him.”

  “Before you turned around, I saw him pull Eoin into the car! What if Eoin is being kidnapped?”

  “You need to be rich and famous like Lindbergh before anyone would bother kidnapping a person, and I never heard of anyone being kidnapped in Ireland.”

  Niall saw the truth in his friend’s words, and his uneasiness with what he saw, or thought he saw, faded.

  Eoin’s pleadings to be released so that he could return home were in vain. He recognized Dun Laoghaire harbor for his mother had many times brought him there to see the sailboats and sometimes there were larger boats docked in the harbor that transported people and their cars to England, France, Spain, and Holland. With panic of such intensity never before known to him, Eoin knew that they were about to leave Ireland.

  “Where are we going?” the boy asked with fear in his voice.

  As the woman drove the car onto the boat, the man warned Eoin against speaking to anybody or drawing attention to himself. If he should do so, the man said, he would never again see his mother. To further convince the boy he should do as he was told, the man mentioned his mother by name and the hospital where she worked. Eoin, who did not want anything bad to happen to his mother, obeyed this man.

  Once inside the boat, they got out of the car and walked to the enclosed deck abo
ve. Very few people were on this level for it was without sun on this beautiful sunny day. The open deck above was crowded with people eating, sunning themselves, and playing cards, while children ran around in play.

  Eoin wondered who the woman was who had driven the car and was now traveling with them. As though the man could read his thoughts, he said, “This here is Maude. I’m Harry, and I’m your real father.”

  Eoin tried hard not to think, afraid the man might read his mind again, but thoughts came regardless of how hard he tried to suppress them. He did not believe this man was his father.

  Maude must be his wife, Eoin thought, and wondered why then did they not have children of their own, and let him go back to his mother. This man Harry did not look at all like his father in the picture of his father and mother on their wedding day. His mother kept it in the top drawer and told Eoin he could look at it anytime he desired to do so. Besides, his father’s name was Francis Egan, and his own name was Egan. Harry did not mention his surname. Well, if he can read minds, the boy thought, maybe he’ll tell me his last name.

  Nothing but silence followed until Harry addressed Maude.

  “Get us some beer and chips and lemonade for the lad.”

  “Well, aren’t you going to give me the money for the beer and chips?”

  “What do you do with all the money I keep handing you?”

  “Do you want beer or not?”

  Harry took some bills from his pocket and handed them to her.

  Harry held onto the boy throughout the trip. The loving father with his arm around his son’s shoulders was the pose most used. One hand on Eoin’s knee while Harry ate, and at times around his waist, all of which Eoin knew was to remind him to keep quiet and not cause anyone to become suspicious.

  While Maude was getting the beer and chips, a middle-aged couple walking by smiled at Eoin. Eoin’s eyes implored the woman to rescue him. Instead, she asked him if he would like some chocolate. Knowing he must not speak, he nodded his head.

  “Is the boy all right?” the woman asked Harry as she handed Eoin a piece of chocolate.

  “Fine, why do you ask?”

  “He doesn’t look well,” the woman answered as though trying to figure something out.

  “No, it’s just a touch of sea sickness he’s got. He’ll be as right as rain after we have landed.” Harry reached over, took the chocolate from Eoin and pocketed it saying, “I’ll give it to him later when he’s feeling better.”

  The woman was very sympathetic, but of no help to Eoin who had seen the woman as his only hope of escape before landing on foreign soil. Her husband, who had not uttered a word, smiled at the boy as they walked away.

  In putting the beer, lemonade and potato chips down, Maude, who had witnessed this scene from the sidelines, said in a loud whisper, “You’re a smooth one, Harry Browne.”

  Through his downcast spirit, which covered him like a wet newspaper, Eoin heard the name. Although he never believed that Harry was his father, now he felt he had proof positive that Harry Browne had lied to him.

  Half an hour before the boat arrived in port, Harry told Maude and Eoin it was time to get into the car. Sitting in the dark interior of the car, Harry asked Maude if she had a nail scissor in her handbag. Maude routed around in her handbag and drew out a small scissor.

  “Cut the school emblem off his blazer pocket. We don’t want anyone looking at that and wondering what school it is that he attends.”

  Maude carefully cut the emblem off, as the boy’s eyes filled with tears, which did not fall.

  “It’s all right, ducks, I’ll sew it back on when it’s time for you to go home,” Maude softly assured him on seeing the boy’s distress.

  Shortly, other people came down to the car level and got into their cars, preparing to leave as soon as the opening doors were lowered. Would my mother know where to find me? Is this where my real father lives? If this was another country why did it not look different? Would people speak like Maude did, here in this place? How could I find a policeman and if I did find one, how could I speak to him with Harry ever at my side? Eoin’s thoughts were interrupted as the opening was unsealed. Soon the cars are moving off the boat. Maude drove on the boat, but it was Harry who was driving off it. They drove for quite a long time without stopping. It was dark when they came into the city of London.

  “Don’t you think we should get something to eat?”

  “And how are we going to do that without advertising what we’re up to?”

  “It’ll take us forty-five minutes or more to get to the flat, and there’s nothing to eat when we get there.”

  “There’s a chip shop around the corner. You’ll go out and get us some food! You better watch it! Your brain is going to rust from lack of use.”

  “Brains cannot rust. They have no metal parts!” Eoin joined in the conversation.

  “I thought you said he was asleep,” Harry said under his breath.

  “He was.”

  “We’re almost there, ducky. I bet you’re hungry. We’ll get something to eat as soon as we reach the flat. Do you like fish and chips?”

  “Yes.”

  “What a dumb question to ask him. Don’t you think they eat fish and chips in Ireland?”

  “How am I supposed to know? I was never there before this trip.”

  “Are you planning on sharing any more vital information?”

  “Sorry.”

  Eoin tried to read the writing on the walls as they climbed up many stairs to the flat, but the light was very dim, and Harry walked very fast and told him to stop dawdling. Harry told Maude to pick up a newspaper when she went out for the fish and chips, and when she returned he seemed more interested in the newspaper than the food. Harry spread the newspaper on the coffee table, the only table in the flat.

  Eoin, who was very hungry, ate his share of the food from the bag with his fingers while sitting on the grimy furniture in the dirtiest place Eoin had ever set foot in.

  “Well?”

  “Nothing yet,” Harry answered.

  At night when they went to bed, Harry stated that Eoin would sleep in the room with the double bed while he and Maude would take the other room with the two dilapidated single beds. Maude questioned Harry’s reasoning on this but Harry ignored her. Later as he went to bed, it became clear to Maude and Eoin why Harry had come to this decision. Eoin stated that he had no pajamas to sleep in, so Harry told him to sleep in his underwear. After Eoin was in bed, Harry tied a rope from the doorknob of Eoin’s room to the bathroom doorknob. The other bedroom was without a doorknob, and didn’t close properly.

  “Where am I going to pee during the night?” Maude asked.

  “Don’t know. Don’t care. This bathroom is now off limits.”

  Eoin had been living in this filthy flat in a rather unsavory part of London for a week and lamenting every day to both Harry and Maude about missing so much school. He had asked Maude, “Why don’t you and Harry get a child of your own?”

  Maude laughed. Seeing the serious and confused look on the boy’s face, she apologized.

  “We’re not married, duckie. Harry’s not the marrying kind.”

  “If he’s not married, how can he be my father?”

  Maude, hearing Eoin’s question, knew she had said too much, and was glad Harry was not there to hear what she had said. This is a smart boy. I wonder what his mother is like. Harry said she was a nurse. They seemed to produce a hell of a lot of nurses in Ireland. Even in our hospitals, one is bound to run into Irish nurses.

  “He is your father. That’s a fact.”

  “He’s not married to my mother, so he cannot be my father.”

  “It’s complicated, Eoin, and you’ll figure it all out when you’re older. Harry’s not the most honest person, but the truth is, he is your father.”

  Yes, it was complicated, and he was very confused. This conversation had hit a brick wall, and his head was still spinning. Yes, too complicated.

  “When do you
think I can attend school? I’ve lost a whole week already.”

  “Can’t tell you that, Eoin, for I don’t know.”

  “My clothes are getting all mussed up. My shirt has lots of creases in it.”

  “We can’t do much about your clothes, ducks.”

  “Harry said I’d never see Mom again if I didn’t do everything he told me to do. Well, I’ve done everything he asked, and I’m wondering when I can see Mom again. ‘She’ll be worried sick’,” he added, using an expression he often heard in the lane.

  Maude had no answer to give him.

  He wished he were back in the lane where everyone made sure all were safe, and this kidnapping could never have happened.

  CHAPTER 13

  For the first time in her life, Kate found she could not function. Inconsolable, she sat in the rocking chair where she had breastfed Eoin as a baby and recalled the past almost seven years of his life. Even before Eoin was born, Francis’, Eoin’s and my life were entwined. In trying to protect this unborn child, I found the courage to engage Francis, a total stranger, in conversation. It was my need to protect Eoin, even before birth, that brought us together. It was also my misdeed that put him in danger. Would Harry actually harm Eoin? Harry was furious with me for preventing him from taking Eoin in order to save his marriage to Kit. But would he hurt our son? No, he had many faults, but I doubt that he would intentionally bring harm to Eoin. I pray I’m not wrong in this.