by SJ McCoy
Smoke grinned. “I might just do that. Thanks Pete.”
Pete walked back to the FBO building. Nate caught up with him at the door.
“You doing alright, boss man?”
Pete looked at him, he couldn't remember ever feeling this far from alright. “I'm beat,” he said.
Nate nodded, “Some weekend, huh? Want to get a beer?”
Pete thought about it. He wasn't looking forward to going back to the house, he couldn't even think of it as home without Holly there. She hadn't answered any of his texts or calls. All he was going to do was wander around the place thinking about her. “Why not? Come on, I'll give you a ride.”
They sat at the bar in a little place by the beach.
“Want to talk about it?” asked Nate.
Pete shook his head and took a long swig of his beer. There was nothing to say.
“You're not serious about ending it with her, are you?”
Pete snorted. “It's not up to me. She left. Won't talk to me.” He stared at Nate, trying to pull himself together, “And besides, I don't know what I was playing at. I don't have time for a woman in my life.”
Nate laughed at him, why did people keep doing that? He wasn't used to it! “You don't have time? And why's that, Pete?”
“You know damned well why!” Pete slammed his fist down on the bar.
Nate still smiled, unperturbed. He pointed his bottle at the chain on Pete's wrist, “‘Cause of that, right?”
Pete looked at the silver bracelet and sighed. “Yeah, that's right. Work.”
“But what does the other side say, boss man? What have you always preached to the rest of us mere mortals?”
Pete frowned. He didn't get where Nate was going with this. “Like you don't need the money?” he asked, confused.
Nate laughed again, “Yeah, you big old hypocrite! What have you always said? It's about so much more than money? It's about becoming all you can be? Building the best life you can, no?”
“What the fuck, Nate? That's what I do, it's what I am doing. What are you talking about?”
“I'm saying you are refusing to become all you could be and refusing to build the best life you could. When I first saw you with Holly, I couldn't believe it. I mean, not only did you have a woman with you at HQ, you had your arm around her no less! But watching the two of you together these last few weeks, I got it. You become something more when you're with her. The two of you could build a great life together, but you won't consider it because your only focus is on building a great business. Well, newsflash big guy, it's already built. It doesn't need you like it did in the early days. You've got a great staff, even if I do say so myself,” he grinned. “We're capable of taking up any slack while you get a life, you know.”
Pete looked at him, brows lowered, he unclenched his fist as he considered Nate's words.
“Don't give me the evil eye. I'm your friend as well as your employee, and since Jack isn't around to kick your ass for you, I see it as my duty.”
Pete didn't know what to say. Was he really doing what Nate said? What he'd accused Holly of doing? Using the business as an excuse not to grow in a new direction? No! He was following his plan, like he'd always done. He looked at Nate.
“Take some time, think about it. Just don't take too long. I don't think a woman like Holly will be too short on offers if you don't get your act together.”
Pete let himself into the house and stood in the hallway. His mind was still reeling from what Nate had said. That last part especially. She'd have other offers. Of course she would. But she couldn't. She was his! He was starting to understand how she'd felt about Jade. Just the thought that she might meet some faceless other guy made him want to throw something. How would he feel if he knew who she used to date and that she was seeing him again?
He unclenched his fist and walked into the den. Damn, how was he going to sit on that sofa without her feet in his lap? He slid open the doors and went out by the pool for some fresh air. So many memories out here too. Her first night here, falling into the pool together, making love, eating dinner as the sun set, indulging her CEO fantasies on the lounger, holding her close as they watched the stars.
He went back into the kitchen to get a beer from the fridge and leaned on the counter. One of her hair clips sat there. He closed his eyes as he remembered unfastening it so he could run his fingers through her hair as he kissed her. The way her eyes had shone up at him as her hair fell around her shoulders. The feel of her soft body as he'd held her to him. She was everywhere.
**********
“Berto, no. Thanks for asking, Sweetie, but I really don't want to.”
“But, Holls, I don't want you staying home moping all weekend.” He was getting that truculent look that she knew spelled trouble. Going toe to toe with Roberto was not a wise move, certainly not in her current fragile state. She decided to throw herself on his mercy.
“Please let me mope? I promise I'll let you help when I'm ready, but please, let me mourn for a while? It's what I need.”
He came and hugged her. “Are you sure? You know you can spend the weekend with me and John. You don't have to be all alone.”
“I know, but for now I need to be. You understand. Let me lick my wounds for a while?”
He gave a reluctant nod. “Alright, but I'm going to call you every evening.”
“You don't need to do that.”
“Perhaps not, but I want to. I just hate the way this is working out.”
Holly was relieved he wasn't saying he hated Pete. Roberto could be quite aggressive in his dislike of those he thought had hurt his friends. “It turned out the way I knew it would, Berto. He was honest from the start.”
“I know, but I thought he would come to his senses. I'm disappointed in him, Holls.”
“Oh, Berto, don't be. He's a good man.” She felt her throat close up. It had been almost a week, but she still felt as raw as she had when she left Summer Lake on Saturday night. She just needed time. The weekend loomed ahead, filled with nothing but time. “I'm going to get out of here, if you'll close up?”
Berto nodded. “At least we can thank him for that. He taught you that this place can survive without you.”
She nodded as she grabbed her coat. “Have a good weekend, Sweetie. I'll see you Monday.”
“I'll call you later.”
Holly took the bus home. Her old station wagon had been making some very strange noises. She needed to get it looked at, but she needed to make a bigger payment than usual this week on her grandmother's debt. She hated the fact that the loan sharks could ask for whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted and she had no choice. She'd gotten angry with their threats a couple of weeks ago, but they'd promised to pay the store a visit if she didn't shut up and pay up. Stupid men! The store was her source of income, how did they expect her to pay them anything if they smashed it up? She had to just bite her tongue and keep paying, there was no end in sight. She sat on the bus and looked around at her fellow passengers, a very different crew than the people she'd been spending her time with for the last few weeks. But still, she'd known all along that that was a short lived fantasy life. This was her reality and she had to get on with it.
When she got home, all she wanted to do was soak in a hot bath with a glass of wine. And cry. She'd already cried so much this week. Her plan to deal with it all on Monday hadn't worked. Weren't you supposed to have a good cry and get it all out? It wasn't working that way though. Instead of getting any easier, it seemed the sadness grew heavier with every day that passed.
She sank into the bubbles and sipped her Cab. It wasn't nearly as good as the one from Pete's friend's winery. She sighed. Nothing in her cold little world was as good as anything in Pete's, she had to get used to it. Her cell phone buzzed. She dried her hands to check if it was anyone she wanted to talk to. It was Missy.
“Hey, Miss!”
“Hey, Honey. How are you doing? I've been thinking about you all week.”
�
��Aw. Thanks Miss. I'm alright. How are you?”
“Never mind me. I'm fine. How are you holding up? I can't believe Pete is being so stupid.”
“Don't, Miss. He's not stupid.” Even now she couldn't stand to hear a word against him. “He's just sticking to his plan. He never lied to me. I went in with my eyes wide open.”
“Maybe so, but he's still being an idiot. He may be my oldest friend, but he doesn't get to hurt my new one.”
“Thanks.”
“Anyways, I also wanted to see what you're thinking about next weekend?”
“Not much.” Holly could see her weekends stretching out into the future, filled with nothing but bubble baths, sad movies and tissues, lots and lots of tissues.
“Well, are you coming Friday or Saturday?”
Holly frowned. “I'm not coming at all!”
“Oh, yes, you are. Emma and Jack get back late Friday, and Gramps is having a BBQ for them at his place on Saturday afternoon. As the Maid of Honor, you don't have a choice. You have to be here.”
“But I can't! I have to stay out of his way.”
“You've got just as much right to be here as he has,” Missy sounded pissed.
“I know I do. I'm talking about for my own sanity. Em will understand.”
“I don't think so, she asked me to make sure you don't wiggle out of it.”
“But, Miss…”
“But nothing. You don't have to be around him. You can stay at my house, but you do need to come, okay? At least think about it, Honey?”
Holly nodded, “I'll think about it.”
“He's a jerk with his stupid plan anyway. Sometimes life throws stuff at you and you need to make a new plan. You need...” Missy stopped abruptly.
“Hello?” Holly wondered if they'd been cut off, “Missy?”
“I'm still here,” laughed Missy. “But I've got to go. I just remembered something. Something very important. I'll call you in the week, Hon.”
“Okay,” Holly stared at her phone, trying to understand Missy's abrupt goodbye. Maybe Scot needed something? She couldn't go up there next weekend. She'd have to find an excuse. It'd have to be a good one too. She'd be letting Emma down, but it couldn't be helped. There was no way she was ready to see Pete again. She sighed. She wanted nothing more than to see him again, but she wanted to be with him. She couldn't simply be around him, one of the gang, just another friend. No. No way.
Missy hung up the phone and looked around her kitchen. She needed to knock some sense into Pete and he himself had given her the ammunition to do so; fifteen years ago. She dialed his number.
“Hey, Miss! S'up?”
“Hey, Hemming. Are you up here this weekend?”
“On my way now. Is everything alright?”
“It will be. I need to see you. What time are you getting in?”
“It'll be around eight.”
“Good. You can buy me dinner at Ben's place. I'll be in the bar.”
Pete sighed. “I don't suppose there's any point in my saying no? I was going to go crash at my folks place.”
“You know there's no point, so hurry up and get your ass up here.”
“Okay, but go easy on me, will you? I've had a miserable week.” He sounded wrung out.
“Aw, poor baby! You know your poor Pete crap isn't going to wash with me. You're the one who made yourself miserable. I'm the one that's going to fix it. I'll see you at eight.”
Pete found a spot in the square and parked the truck. He was dog tired. He'd been sleeping at the office all week, he couldn't stand being at the house. The pullout sofa in his office was comfortable enough, but he hadn't had much sleep. He worked his way through the crowded bar looking for Missy. What was she after anyway? If she wanted to give him a hard time, he wasn't going to stick around for it. He spotted her at one of the high top tables talking to Ben.
“Hey guys.”
“Hey, Bud.” Ben looked him over. “You look like crap.”
“Thanks. I was hoping to get some sleep, but bossy Melissa here demanded my company tonight.” He gave Missy a rueful smile as he leaned in to peck her cheek. “Want to tell me why I've been summoned?”
Missy smiled back at him. “Take a seat, order a beer, we'll get to it. You look like you've had a rough day.”
“Rough week.” He pulled up a stool while Ben went for their drinks.
“Oh dear. Why was that then?” she raised her eyebrows.
Pete wasn't in the mood to be messed with, not even by Missy. “Don't Miss. You know damned well why.”
Missy's face softened and she touched his arm, “Sorry, Hon, but why are you doing this to yourself, and to Holly?”
“Have you talked to her?” he felt his pulse race. He needed to know how she was doing.
“That's none of your never mind,” said Missy. “Now answer the question. Why are you doing this to yourself?”
Pete heaved a frustrated sigh. “You know why. I've got to stick to the plan. Why are you doing this to me? That's what I don't get!”
Ben returned with their beers. “I've got to go upstairs for a while.” He looked between them and grinned. “Give me a shout if you need a referee?”
Pete nodded. “I might be shouting for you to rescue me. She's got it in for me, Bud.”
Ben laughed. “Sorry, but you're on your own there. I'm no match for this one when she's pissed and it strikes me she's pissed.”
“I am,” smiled Missy. “And leave your phone on, it's me that might be texting you for help to get this big, stubborn....”
Ben grinned. “I'm outta here. Good luck, Pete. I think you're gonna need it.” He disappeared into the crowd.
“Can we at least order some food before you lay into me?” Apart from a lack of sleep, Pete hadn't managed to eat much since last weekend. His growling stomach was letting him know that now might be a good time to change that.
Missy smiled. “I took the liberty of ordering for us. We've got two big ole black and bleu burgers on the way. For old time’s sake.”
He smiled at that. “Wow! That's been a long time.”
“Yeah,” laughed Missy. “I realized when I ordered them that they must have been on the menu for fifteen years at least.”
“That's right. We were way too young to order beer with them when we started that tradition.”
“We've had some serious conversations over those burgers, huh Pete?” She was smiling at him.
He knew she was going to spring something on him, he just couldn't figure out what it was. “And you're spoiling for another one tonight, aren't you? So let me have it.”
“What I really want to do is remind you about the most important conversation we ever had. And to thank you for it.”
Pete smiled, he knew exactly what she meant. “You're welcome.”
Missy's eyes sparkled with tears. “It was fifteen years ago, Pete, and I've been grateful to you every single day since.”
“He's a great kid.”
“He's the best kid in the world. I hate myself whenever I think what I might have done. What I thought was the right thing to do.”
“Yeah, but Miss, you didn't do it.”
“Only ‘cause I talked to you that night.” She reached out and took his hand. “Pete, I was seventeen years old and scared out of my wits. I honestly thought I had to have an abortion, even though I didn't want to. My family were going to go ape. I wasn't going to be able to go away to college. I was supposed to be the first in family to go, you know. I'd had all these plans of how my life was going to be. Then there I was, pregnant with the father left town before he even knew. You were there for me.” She smiled at him through the tears that were running down her cheeks now. She made no attempt to wipe them away. “Do you remember what you told me, when I asked you what would happen to all my plans if I went ahead and had a baby?”
Pete nodded.
“You told me sometimes life throws stuff at you and you need to make a new plan. You need to look at what's about to change in y
our life and ask yourself if you want the old plan more than you want everything that comes with the new one.” She gripped his hand tight. “When you told me that it all became so clear. The old plan made sense before I was pregnant, but once Scotty was part of the equation, everything that had seemed so important before meant nothing anymore.”
Pete swallowed around the lump in his throat. He loved Scot, he was such a good kid. And although Missy never had gone away to school or done many of the things she had hoped to, he still envied her the life she had built in some respects. The relationship she had with her son was something he hoped to emulate some day with his own kids.
“Don't you see? I had to see you tonight to give you back your own advice.”
He ran his hand over his face and closed his eyes.
“Your plan has served you well until now, but, Pete, life just threw something at you, something that means you need to make a new plan. I'm scared that if you try to stick to your old one, you'll always regret it, just like I would have if I'd stuck to mine all those years ago. Can you imagine all the love and joy I would never have known if I hadn't had Scot? You saved me from making the worst mistake of my life. I'm trying to do the same for you.”
Chapter Twenty
Pete leaned back against the tree and watched the sunlight sparkle on the lake. He'd slept late this morning. There was something about his old room that gave him a sense of peace. He always slept well here, and he'd been exhausted after the last week. Jack sometimes ribbed him about going home to Mommy and Daddy, but he didn't care. He loved his parents and he loved this house. He appreciated how lucky he was to have grown up here, his family was his foundation. Thinking of his friends and their backgrounds, he had to admit he'd had it good. He'd known love and stability his whole life.
How many times in his life had he sat in this very spot? Underneath this tree. In good times and bad he'd been able to come here to figure things out. Even to mourn. He looked at plaque laid into the ground where his dog was buried. Kipper. He'd been such a good dog. One of the gang. He'd been as good of a friend as Ben, Missy, and Emma. He'd died just before Pete graduated high school. He still missed him.