Further To Fall

by Catherine Cowles

  I searched out Taylor and widened my eyes at her, the universal help-me signal in girl world. She sent a perplexed look back at me, clearly not understanding my intent.

  I needed out of here. Something about angry mountain man Austin had my nervous system fraying. Even though he was beyond rude, my attraction to him was a sharp and visceral thing. I hated myself a little for that.

  I pushed off the leather bench, but when I did, the edge of my palm skimmed the side of Austin’s muscular thigh. He jerked back as if he had been burned. “Sorry,” I mumbled. Turning to Taylor and the rest of the group, I asked, “Do you mind if we head out? I feel a killer headache coming on.” It wasn’t a total lie. The tension I’d been feeling for the past hour was bound to give me a migraine if I stayed put any longer.

  Taylor’s brow furrowed, and she stood. “Of course, sweetie.”

  Liam’s gaze traveled over my face, and his eyes narrowed. He always knew when I was lying. But he didn’t call me out on it this time, he just wrapped me in a warm and familiar hug. “I’ll text you later, and we’ll plan a day for you to come hang out at the Malibu house.”

  “Sounds good,” I said. I skirted around the table, avoiding Austin’s eyes and body like he was a bomb that could detonate at any moment. “Nice to meet you guys,” I mumbled without looking in Austin’s direction.

  “You too, gorgeous,” Ford said with a devastating smile. I was able to give a weak one back as I grasped Taylor’s hand and turned towards the door.

  The cool night air felt like heaven on my overheated skin as I marched towards the car. Taylor tugged on my arm. “What the hell is going on?”

  “I just needed to get out of there. That guy was such a jerk.” He was a jerk, but something in my gut told me I might be overreacting just a little.

  “I just thought he was a little dull. Hot, but dull.”

  I let out an exasperated huff. “Hotness does not compensate for rudeness.” While I firmly believed that, I had never felt such a strong instant attraction to someone. And to have that same person dismiss me at every turn…it wounded my pride.

  Taylor linked arms with me and started us moving again. “No, it does not. But it doesn’t hurt to have something pretty to look at right before you knee him in the balls.”

  2

  Austin

  Focus. Increased training. No distractions. I hit on each point as my feet pounded the pavement. Those were the things I could count on, the tools that would keep me in control. This is how I could prevent another loss, how I could achieve what I had dreamed of for most of my life.

  I would do whatever it took to keep my mind free of the stuff that shouldn’t be there. Right now, that meant running five miles before meeting up with the guys for our weekly flag football game. Five miles to cleanse my brain of the mental images that had awoken me from a dead sleep at 4:30 a.m. with a pounding heart and a pulsing dick. Five miles to forget about that strawberry blonde with the innocent smile and laugh that hit me right in the solar plexus.

  When I caught sight of Carter in the bar last night, I’d had a stirring in my gut that I’d only felt once before. That last encounter had left me bitter and broken. I needed another stirring like I needed a hole in the head. I’d just have to avoid Carter, it couldn’t be that hard. She was one girl, and this was a city of thousands. Famous last words.

  Ripping my shirt over my head, I wiped the sweat that was pouring down my brow. I came up short, my steps stuttering as I reached the park’s bleachers. Sitting on the second metal rung, long hair pulled through the back of a Georgia Bulldogs’ cap, was Carter. The way Liam had described this girl, I had pictured her as a klutzy tomboy, almost masculine-looking.

  There was nothing boyish about Carter, she was all long lines and smooth curves. Today, those dips and valleys were on full display as she wore ragged cutoff jean shorts that had my mind wondering if I could pull one of those loose threads and have them disappear altogether. Fuck. I did not need this.

  Striding purposely forward, I barked, “What are you doing here?”

  Carter jumped a little in her seat, but then she rolled her shoulders back and stiffened her spine. “I’m watching a football game. What are you hoping to do, make small children on the playground cry?”

  My teeth ground together, and my hand fisted my t-shirt. “This is a guys-only league.”

  Carter made a show of glancing around. “Is it a guys-only park? I must have missed the sign.”

  A snicker came from beside her, and my eyes shot to the same girl Carter had been with last night. I hadn’t even noticed her sitting there. Before I could respond, an arm slung over my shoulders, and a familiar voice started, “Ladies, how nice of you to come cheer us on.”

  Carter’s cool eyes suddenly turned warm, and she smiled—fucking beamed—up at Ford. I needed to hit something. Why couldn’t this be full-contact football instead of this pussy flag shit? “I’m going to go find Liam,” I muttered, extricating myself from under Ford’s arm.

  He sent me a wicked grin. “Sure thing. Just leave these ladies in my capable hands.” Carter and her friend giggled. I scowled and took off towards the parking lot.

  The game helped. Physical exertion helped. Imagining slamming Ford into the dirt helped, even though he was on my team. Seconds before the end of the second half, an opposing player snagged Liam’s flag just after he’d let a beautiful pass sail down the field. Before I could turn to the ref to dispute his lack of call, I heard yelling from the bleachers. Carter was on her feet, hands flailing about, full-out screaming at the ref and his lack of vision.

  Liam sauntered up next to me. “She’s something, huh?” I grunted in response. He continued on, “She gets real fiery about injustice. Anything she thinks is unfair, she’ll raise hell. One time, when she was in third grade, there was this bully of a sixth-grader, who picked on every kid younger or smaller than him.” A grin was spreading across Liam’s face as he got lost in the memory. “Shit, A, she sent him home in tears using words alone. He never picked on another kid again.”

  I said nothing as we stood there and watched as Carter argued her point with the ref, arms still waving in the air. She almost toppled over at one point, but her friend caught her elbow, steadying her. Finally, the ref threw up his hands and blew his whistle, calling an illegal flag removal and giving us ten yards. I fought back a smile. Shit, the poor guy probably knew we’d never get out of here if he didn’t give the woman her way.

  We took the field and finished out the last minute with a win. The backslapping and chest bumping commenced. Making our way off the field, I saw Carter bouncing up and down on her Converse-covered feet. She launched herself at Liam, throwing her arms around his neck. “Amazing job! You killed ‘em!”

  He grinned down at her, and I felt a prickling sensation at the back of my neck. “Thanks for your assist.”

  “That ref was blind!” she said, scowling in the black-and-white-clad man’s direction.

  Liam tapped the brim of her hat. “I can always count on you to have my back.”

  Turning back to face him, her face shone with that devastating smile. “Always.” I grabbed my water bottle with more force than necessary, and the plastic crinkled as I slugged down the cool liquid. The noise must have caught Carter’s attention because her eyes darted in my direction, and then they began to travel over my bare chest. My eyes narrowed, and I crushed the empty bottle, breaking her stare-off with my nipples.

  “Do you and Taylor want to come back to Malibu with us? Austin and Ford are going to come over to hang on the beach and have a few beers,” Liam said, tossing a few things into his gym bag.

  Carter’s eyes bounced between Liam and me and back again. “Uh, I actually need to go get a few things for work. Maybe another day?”

  Thank fuck. I needed distance from this girl, and I needed it now.

  Liam studied Carter carefully, and she began to squirm under his gaze. Finally, he shrugged, and Carter seemed to relax. “All right. I’ll te
xt you later, and we’ll figure out a day for you to come out to the house.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” Carter stood on her tiptoes and planted a smacking kiss on Liam’s cheek. My stomach churned.

  “I want a kiss. Where’s my kiss?” Ford reached out his arms to Taylor, who swatted him away with a laugh.

  “See you later, boys!” Taylor called.

  “Bye,” Carter echoed, avoiding my eyes.

  I watched her perky little ass until she was halfway to the parking lot when a hand smacked me upside the head. “What the hell is wrong with you, man?” Liam was glaring at me.

  “What?”

  “I know you’ve got this whole brooding thing down to a science at this point, but you’re being a real dick.”

  “I’m not being a dick, I’m just not real eager to play buddy-buddy with your childhood bestie. So, sue me,” I said, cracking my neck, trying to alleviate the growing pressure.

  “You don’t have to be her best friend, but you do need to be cordial. Grow up already. Not every girl is Hailey.”

  My jaw hardened. “This has nothing to do with Hailey.”

  Liam slung his bag over his shoulder. “If you really think that, you’re more delusional than I thought.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that Hailey was a manipulative, cheating bitch, but not every single girl has a heart of pure evil. You need to move on.”

  My back molars ground together. “I have.” It was true, I had moved on to dozens of women of all shapes, sizes, colors, and creeds. “I’m just not looking for a girlfriend. I need to focus on training and my fights. I don’t have time or energy for more than a quick fuck.”

  “Whatever you say, man.” And with that, Liam turned and took off for the parking lot.

  3

  Carter

  The sun beat down on my back, and as I listened to the crashing of the waves below, I could feel the stress of the last few days melting away. Rolling over, I grabbed the sunscreen to slather on another layer. I did not need to start the school year as a lobster. “This is a pretty nice setup you’ve got.”

  Liam sent me a devilish grin. “Not too bad for a country boy from Georgia, is it?”

  I snorted. He made it sound as if he’d grown up without running water and was forced to use an outhouse when, really, Liam’s dad was a lawyer and his mom a librarian. But they didn’t have Malibu beach houses, that was for sure. Liam’s current home sat on a private street that required a security guard lifting a gate for anyone to access it. Every house in the row sat right above the waves, and Liam said that during high tide, the waves actually crashed under the house. It was heaven.

  “So, when does school start?” Liam asked after taking a pull on his beer.

  “Next Monday.”

  “You ready?”

  “Almost. I just have to decorate my classroom.” I twirled the bottle of sunscreen in my hands, twisting and untwisting the cap. “I’m nervous,” I admitted.

  Liam’s face gentled. “You’re going to be great. You were born to do this.”

  “I’m glad you think so.” His support really did mean the world to me. “I can’t believe we’re both doing what we always dreamed of.” I let out a small chuckle. “Although your rise to glory is a bit more impressive than mine.”

  “Don’t belittle all you’ve accomplished. Getting accepted into Teach For Our Youth is no joke.”

  “All right, brother bear.”

  Liam’s phone buzzed on the side table, causing the remnants of my sparkling water to vibrate. He grabbed it and tapped at the screen while I lay back on my lounge and turned my face towards the sun. I could get used to the Southern California life. “Austin’s on his way over.” Liam’s words were a bucket of ice water on my blissfully warm skin.

  “Great,” I said, drawing out the word in a super mature manner.

  Liam raised himself to a sitting position, swinging his legs over his lounge chair so that he was facing me. “What is it with you two?”

  “He’s a jerk,” I said, setting the sunscreen back on the table with a clang. “I’m sorry. I know he’s your friend, but he’s rude.”

  Liam sighed. “I know he didn’t give the best first impression, but he did apologize.”

  “And oh, so convincingly.”

  Rubbing the back of his neck, Liam trudged on. “Look, he’s had a rough go of it. He got burned by his ex pretty bad. Do me a favor and give him another chance?”

  I nibbled on the corner of my lip. “Fine,” I said. What I really wanted to ask was what Austin’s ex could have done that had turned him into such a bitter Betty.

  “Thank you. He should be here any minute.”

  “Super,” I replied.

  “Love the enthusiasm,” Liam shot back.

  I stuck out my tongue, I was grown-up like that.

  About fifteen minutes later, Austin strode out onto the deck, looking unfairly gorgeous in workout shorts and a worn tee that clung to his broad shoulders and well-defined chest. Crud. His steps faltered when he caught sight of me, and his jaw hardened. Suddenly, my bikini had me feeling very exposed. I quickly stood and wrapped the towel I had been lying on around myself. “I’m going to grab some more water. You need anything, Liam?”

  “No, I’m good,” he answered as I scurried past.

  I let out a quiet “hey” as I passed Austin. He, of course, said nothing, simply glared in my direction as if I had run over his puppy. What a freaking jerk. Sliding open the glass door, I made my way into the kitchen and grabbed a Perrier from the ridiculously fancy fridge.

  The large picture window over the kitchen sink looked out onto the deck, and I could see that the guys were in a heated discussion. Liam was standing now, gesturing in an aggravated manner towards the house, while Austin just shook his head. Great. A few tense moments later, Austin said something and turned to head back inside. I had to fight the urge to sink to the kitchen floor or look for a pantry to hide in. Double crud.

  I heard the door slide open, and then there he was, filling up every inch of the doorway with his giant, angry, mountain man body. “Hey.” The word was low and clipped.

  “Hi.” Of course, my voice came out in a squeak.

  Austin gripped the doorframe, forearms bulging, and I found myself wondering if he could rip the wood out with his bare hands. His hands were very large. “Look,” he started, and I tore my eyes away from his hands and moved my gaze towards his face. “I’m sorry I was a dick at the club. I just got the wrong impression because of how you were dressed.”

  My heart stuttered, and I felt my blood start to boil. “Excuse me?”

  “Come on,” he said with a smirk. “You were wearing one of those stretchy miniskirts and hooker heels, I was supposed to assume you were Mother Theresa?”

  I was moving before I knew what was happening, and then I was poking him in his rock-hard chest. “You are a misogynistic piece of work, you know that? If some guy had groped me, would I have been asking for it?” The smirk he had been wearing fell from his face, and his eyes went stormy. “It’s guys like you that give your gender a bad name. But it’s clear to me that you’re just trying to overcompensate for some serious shortcomings.” I eyed his crotch with my last words, and before he had a chance to reply, I sidestepped him and bolted for the front door.

  4

  Austin

  “Dude, what in the actual fuck? What did you say to her?” Liam’s face was getting redder by the second, but I was just standing there slack-jawed. I hadn’t meant the words the way they had come out. I was just trying to explain how I could have mistaken Carter for a groupie. But something about this girl just brought out my inner asshole.

  Clearing my throat, I straightened. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to explain why I got the wrong impression of her at the bar. I apologized, she just took it the wrong way.”

  “She just took it the wrong way? Let me guess, her taking it the wrong way had nothing to do with you insulting
her in some way.”

  I grimaced. “Come on, she looked like a groupie! I saw her swiveling her hips over your way, and I jumped to the wrong conclusion.”

  Liam’s eyes bore into mine. “What is going on with you? Is your head really in that much of a fucked-up place? You assume every girl has their cat claws out, using whatever it takes to snag a man and then rake him over the coals?”

  “Not every woman. Just most. I’m not saying Carter’s that way, but I don’t know she’s not.”

  “Carter is one of the kindest and most genuine people I’ve ever known. Do you know why she moved here?”

  I shrugged. “You said she got a job.”

  “Yeah, a job that pays next to nothing teaching little kids in the ghetto.” I swallowed down the guilt that was starting to take root in my stomach. “She’s had one boyfriend in her whole damned life, and I’m almost positive she’s still a virgin. She might be a little naïve, but she has a good heart. And you have made her feel like dog shit on the bottom of your shoe.”

  I took a deep breath, rolling my shoulders back to alleviate some of the tension there. “I fucked up. I’m sorry.” Apparently, the ghost of Hailey was still alive, well, and wreaking havoc on my life. I knew that when she cheated the way she did and fucked up my life so royally, it had changed the way I looked at women. I didn’t want to let someone close enough to cause that kind of damage again, especially when it knocked me off my fighting game for so long. But that was no excuse for being such an ass to an innocent bystander. I was a dick. “I’ll fix it.”

  Liam let out a breath that whistled between his clenched teeth. “You better fix this. And soon.” With that, he headed upstairs, leaving me alone with my guilty conscience.

  I wiped a palm on my jeans as I balanced three boxes of cupcakes with my other arm. Were three boxes overkill? Probably. But the cupcake place that Liam said was Carter’s favorite had like fifty-two different flavors. How was I supposed to know what she liked? I bit the bullet, reached out, and knocked on her door.