Further To Fall

by Catherine Cowles

  “Good. Trained with a couple new guys who I think have potential.”

  I swallowed my bite of egg salad on focaccia and tried not to moan. “That’s great. Are you thinking that you want to move towards coaching more?”

  Austin was silent for a moment, and I turned my head towards him as he took a slug of water. “I think I’m going to retire from fighting at the end of next year.”

  I dropped my sandwich back to my plate. “Really? Why? You love fighting.”

  He toyed with the napkin that was lying across his thigh. “I love it, but I don’t love what it does to my body. I get just as much of a high when one of the guys I train wins as when I do. It’s not worth the risk of being turned into a vegetable from one too many concussions.”

  I was stunned silent. I had never heard Austin talk like this. He always downplayed any injury risks. I met his eyes and could see a hesitancy there like he was unsure if I would still want to be with him if he was no longer center stage. I reached over and squeezed his hand. “I think that’s great. Really great.”

  His shoulders sagged in relief. “What about teaching? Are you still loving it?”

  I took a sip of my lemonade and pondered how to answer that. “There are a lot of things I love about it, but there are a lot of things that are frustrating. I love interacting with the kids, figuring out how to best support and encourage each one, but I hate how many restrictions I have. I have to spend so much time preparing them for standardized tests. Tests that I’m not sure accurately measure anything and don’t truly help them learn. And there is a desperate need for after-school programs like the one you’re starting. All these kids need more support than they’re currently getting, and I wish I had the freedom to give it to them. I can get away with some things, but not on a broad scale.”

  Austin had been listening intently to everything I had to say. It was so refreshing. Even Kyle, a teacher himself, got annoyed when I prattled on about my frustration with the system. Austin brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I think it’s amazing that you care so deeply for these kids. I wish there was more I could do to help you.”

  “What you’re already doing is incredible. I heard some of the boys in my class talking about the flyers I posted at school. They’re going to ask their parents if they can join.”

  “I’m glad.” Austin set his plate aside and patted the ground between his spread legs. I scooted over, and he leaned me back into his chest. His heart beat against my shoulder blades, as my own started to speed up.

  We were silent as we watched the sun sink lower in the sky. When the horizon burned red, I tilted my face up towards Austin’s. His cheekbones flared a deep pink with the reflecting sun. Austin angled his chin down and gazed into my eyes. My heart rattled in its cage, but I didn’t look away.

  He brought his mouth closer, millimeter by millimeter, and then it was on mine. His lips were warm and softer than I remembered. He tasted of the vanilla cupcake we had split moments ago and something uniquely him. I couldn’t imagine a better flavor. He nibbled on my bottom lip before slipping his tongue into my mouth. I wanted, no I needed more. I needed him to touch me everywhere. Austin pulled back on a gasp. “Jesus, you’re going to be the death of me.” He brought his forehead down to mine as we both fought to catch our breath.

  My whole body was tingling, and all my nerve endings seemed to be firing at once. If just kissing Austin could turn me into a quivering pile of need, I couldn’t imagine what doing other things would cause. It might kill me. The reminder of the possibility of doing other stuff with Austin was like a bucket of cold ice water on my heated flesh.

  I pulled my forehead away from his and turned back to the sunset. I desperately wanted to do those things with Austin, but I was terrified at the same time. Scared I wouldn’t be any good at it, especially in comparison to the women he was used to. Petrified that I would give him my body, my heart, my soul, and this would all come crashing down around me. The cupcake I’d eaten soured in my stomach.

  Austin’s voice jarred me from my downward spiral of doomed thoughts. “What are you thinking so hard about over there, Firecracker?” I bit down on my bottom lip, unsure of what to say. He reached around and gently pulled my lip from between my teeth. “What’s wrong?”

  I glanced around to make sure that no one was within earshot. “I’m worried I won’t be any good at that stuff.” I couldn’t look at Austin as I continued, better just to get it all out. “I’m still a virgin, and I don’t have much experience with the other stuff.” I could feel my cheeks getting hotter by the second. “I just want it to be good for you when, I mean, if we do that stuff. You have a lot of experience, and I’m worried I’ll be a disappointment, and then you won’t want to be with me and then I’ll have to kick you in the balls for breaking my heart because I’m not good at sex.” I sucked in air, out of breath from my tangent.

  Austin grasped my chin, turning my head so I was forced to look him in the eyes. “First of all, we are in no rush. We are going to take this as slow as we need to. Second, based on that kiss that has me painfully hard, I don’t think we’ll have any issues in the bedroom.” I could feel that hardness up against my backside, I instinctively wiggled. He closed his eyes and groaned. “Dear God, please don’t do that, you’re making it worse.” I instantly stopped.

  “Carter, here’s the thing, I’ve had a lot of empty sex in my life. I wish that wasn’t true now, but I have. That kind of sex is never as good as when you have a real connection with someone. When you have time to get to know someone and know what they like and don’t, how their body responds to yours. I think it takes true intimacy to have the best sex, and I’ve never had that, so we’re in the same boat.”

  I looked into his eyes, desperately hoping that what he said was true. “Carter, we’ll take our time, and we’ll talk. I’ll teach you what I like. You’ll help me figure out what turns you on. We just have to be honest with each other. Can you do that for me?” I nodded. “I need your words, Firecracker.”

  I licked my lips. “I can be honest.”

  He closed the distance and hovered just shy of touching my lips. “Good.” His lips brushed mine with the barest touch, the sweetest embrace. “Now, let’s get out of here before I embarrass myself.” He jumped to his feet and lifted me to mine, enfolding me in his arms. “You’re perfect just as you are.” And then he kissed the tip of my nose.

  I helped Austin put everything back into the picnic basket, and we wove through the remaining people scattered across the lawn. Once we were back in the Range Rover, Austin turned to me with that mischievous grin on his face that I loved so much. “Your last present is back at my house.”

  I had forgotten all about the present I was supposed to get after our date. Apparently, Austin’s kisses had melted my brain. “I finally get to see your new place?” He had bought a house a couple of months ago that Liam had told me was killer.

  “Yup. I think you’ll like it.” Before long, we were headed out of Los Feliz and into the Hollywood Hills, my body tilting back and forth as we sped through the canyon roads. Austin pulled to a stop in front of an imposing gate and clicked a remote on his visor. The gates slowly swung open, and we inched up a curving driveway.

  I sucked in a breath when I first caught sight of the house. It looked like a magical Spanish villa. The driveway ended in a large circle with a fountain in the middle. The house itself had a tiled roof that met textured, white adobe walls. Balconies peeked out in regular intervals and were covered in deep magenta blooms. It was perfection.

  “Austin, this place is breathtaking.” I had slipped from the car before he had a chance to open my door.

  Coming up behind me, he slipped an arm around the top of my chest and nuzzled my neck. “Glad you like it. You want the full tour?” I nodded. “Come on, then.” He grabbed my hand and led me through an arched entryway into the house. Austin took me through room after room, all tiled floors or wide-planked dark wood filled with warm colors that ma
de you want to curl up and stay a while. He paused at one door. “This is my room. I would go in there with you, but I’m not sure I could keep my hands off you, so you’re on your own to check that one out.”

  I giggled and pushed open the door. There was a massive bed with a dark wood frame opposite an equally enormous fireplace. I ran my fingertips across the crisp, white comforter, imagining what it would feel like to slip beneath the sheets.

  I rounded the bed and meandered towards what looked like the master bathroom. I gasped, I couldn’t help it. I wanted to move into this bathroom and never leave. There was a giant bathtub set in front of a huge window that overlooked a breathtaking garden alive with vibrant greens and brightly colored flowers. Turning around, I took in the largest shower I’d ever seen with more jets than I could count on first glance, the wall covered in intricate, hand-painted blue tiles.

  It was all too much to take in. I had to get out of there, or I’d never leave. I walked back through the bedroom, not even daring to look at what I was sure would be a closet to die for. Austin was leaning against the door frame. “You like?”

  “I think your bathroom gave me an orgasm.”

  “Lucky bathroom.” He grinned wickedly and gave me a quick kiss, stoking the fire burning low in my abdomen. “On to the kitchen.”

  As we walked into the bright and airy kitchen, I heard a high-pitched whining sound. “What is that?” I asked, spinning around to face Austin.

  “That would be your final present. Stay here for just a minute.” He opened the door to what looked like a garage and disappeared.

  I bounced on the balls of my feet but froze when Austin reappeared with a wriggling puppy in his arms. The sight hit me right in the ovaries. My hands lifted to cover my mouth, holding in my gasp. When the puppy caught sight of me, he wriggled even harder.

  Austin bent over just as the puppy launched himself from Austin’s arms and galloped towards me. I let myself crumple to the floor to catch the gorgeous puppy in my lap. He was this magical gray color that almost looked blue with just a dash of white on his chest and a set of four white socks. Tears gathered in my eyes, and my voice trembled. “He’s for me?”

  “All yours.” I laughed as the puppy bathed my face in kisses. “He’s a blue nose pit. I adopted him at the shelter this morning. Pitbulls are super sweet but protective, and most people are intimidated by them. They think he’s about five months old, but when he gets a little older, we can get him trained to be a guard dog.”

  I blinked up at Austin, his intention behind the gift now clear. I looked back down at the puppy’s sweet face. He licked my nose. “Or we could just love him and cuddle him and not give him a job.” The puppy yipped as if agreeing with me.

  Austin groaned. “We have to get him some sort of training.”

  “Of course, but he doesn’t need to be trained to be a vicious attack dog.”

  “Not an attack dog, a guard dog.”

  “Semantics.”

  “I give up.” Austin sank to the floor next to me and the pup. “Liam dropped off a dog bed, food, and some toys that I got with Taylor while we were at the observatory, and I have his crate in the garage.”

  I leaned in closer to Austin. “Thank you so much for this, I have always wanted a dog.”

  “I know you have. And I can keep him with me at the gym while you’re at work.”

  I smiled at his thoughtfulness and touched my lips to his. “You’re the best.” Another touch. Just as Austin deepened the kiss, the puppy yipped and launched himself between us.

  Austin scratched behind the puppy’s ears. “I think we’re going to have to name you Cockblock.”

  “Austin!” I smacked his shoulder and cuddled the puppy to my chest. “I think we should call him Blue since he’s got this blue-gray coat and those soulful eyes.”

  “Blue.” Austin scratched his chin. “I like it.”

  30

  Carter

  I was packing up all the quizzes I needed to grade tonight when my classroom burst open, and a beaming Taylor came whirling in. “Oh my God, Carter, you will not believe this!” Before I could get a word out, she shoved her phone in my face. Plucking the phone from her hand, I stared at the screen. There, in high definition color on some entertainment news site, were dozens of pictures of Austin and me at the Griffith Observatory. Ones of us holding hands, kissing, our foreheads touching. My stomach dropped when I remembered all we had talked about while those photos were being taken.

  Quickly, I scanned the article. It started off with, “It looks like the reigning bachelor of the UFL may be off the market” and went on to say there was no confirmation of who the woman in the photos was. When I reached the last line, and no personal details had been revealed, I breathed a sigh of relief. “Carter, you’re white as a sheet, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I just had no idea someone was taking pictures, and we were talking about some pretty personal stuff when those photos were taken. I was freaked the photographer might have overheard, but there’s nothing in the article from our conversation.”

  Taylor’s own face paled a bit. “Oh, God, I’m sorry, Carter. I didn’t even think about that possibility. Everyone has been in a tizzy about you and Austin, and I got excited when I saw your hot lip-lock on the site. Now that I think about it, it’s got to be weird for you.”

  I handed Taylor back her phone and continued to organize my papers to take home. “It’ll sure take some getting used to, but he’s worth it.”

  Taylor did a little bounce. “Y’all are so stinking cute, I can hardly stand it! I know you gave me the date details last night, but seeing pics…holy shit, girl, I had to start fanning myself.”

  I laughed as I slid the last of my necessary belongings into my bag and hoisted it over my shoulder. “You are too much. I have to get going to pick up Blue at Austin’s. Want me to cook dinner tonight?”

  Taylor gave me a one-armed hug. “You are an angel from Heaven and the best roomie ever.”

  “I take that as a yes?”

  “You know I never say no to food I don’t have to cook.”

  “I’ve got you covered. See you tonight!” I called as I headed down the school hallway and out into the sunshine. I set my bags in the back seat and climbed in the front. My fingers slid across my phone’s screen as I punched out a text to Austin, letting him know I was leaving school before I dropped my cell into the cup holder.

  As I made my way through the Eastside and into Hollywood, my stomach started to churn with the anticipation of seeing Austin, feeling the heat of his body, the pressure of his lips against mine. I had become addicted to his touch. Even the innocent brushes fed a need to be as close to him as humanly possible. The desire ratcheted up a notch as I turned onto Mulholland but stalled for a moment when a black SUV appeared much too close for comfort in my rearview mirror. I glanced down at my odometer. Had I been traveling at a snail’s pace while lost in my thoughts about Austin? Nope, I was going five miles over the speed limit.

  LA drivers were so impatient. I tapped on my brakes, hoping the person behind me would get the message and back off. It must have just pissed them off because they pulled even closer. The windows were darkly tinted so I couldn’t tell if it was a man or woman driving. My stomach tightened as the SUV gained even more ground. What was this idiot thinking? One wrong move and we would both go sailing off a hillside.

  My heart thudded in my chest, and my knuckles turned white as I gripped the wheel as tightly as possible. Thoughts raced through my mind. How could I get out of this? Should I try to call 911? I glanced at my phone in the cupholder, but the idea of taking one of my hands off the wheel had my palms turning slippery with sweat. My body jolted forward as the SUV hit my bumper.

  I couldn’t get a full breath as I frantically scanned the road for escape options. Rock face on one side, a cliff on the other. Was this psycho trying to kill me? Hope flared as I spotted an overlook up ahead. I just had to make it to the pull off. “Come on, come on,”
I kept chanting to myself.

  I was seconds away from the lookout. I could do this. I would make it. The SUV slammed into me again. It was as though the world had shifted into slow motion. My head snapped as the seatbelt jerked me back into my seat. I pumped the brakes in a frenzied rhythm as my car spun onto the gravel turn-off. My eyes slammed closed as I prayed I wouldn’t go over the edge. Then, everything stopped.

  Ever so slowly, I peeled open a single eyelid. My car had landed three feet from the edge. The tears came then, hot and vast, streaming down my cheeks. Desperately sucking in air, I jerked my head around in search of the SUV, there it sat, idling in the middle of the road. My heart thudded so hard in my chest, I could feel the vibrations down to the tips of my toes. No concerned citizen or ax murderer exited the SUV. The engine revved, and it took off down the curving road.

  I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel, trying to take slow breaths to bring my heart rate down to within normal range, staying that way for I don’t know how long. When my heart finally slowed, I inhaled deeply and sat back. My chest burned where the seatbelt had kept me in place. Crap, that hurt.

  My hand shook violently as I reached out an arm to shut off my car and unbuckle my seatbelt. Turning around, I saw that the whole back corner of my car was smooshed in like an accordion. My Prius had been no match for the giant SUV.

  The only person I wanted in that moment was Austin. I started searching the car for my cell phone. It had long since left the cup holder. I was lucky it hadn’t flown up and smacked me in the face. My fingers finally found it lodged under the passenger seat, and my hand continued to tremble as I unlocked the screen and searched for Austin’s name in my favorites. Tapping his contact, I pressed the phone to my ear. He picked up on the third ring, and I could hear Blue happily barking in the background. “Hey, Firecracker, you get lost?”