A Cowboy to Come Home To

by Donna Alward

  She just had to try harder to put him out of her mind. She went into the shop to do some arranging. It never failed to divert her thoughts as she worked with the different blooms and color combinations. Fall hues were in and she liked working with the asters and mums and carnations, all in cozy orangey-rusts. But after the second cheerful bouquet—this one set in a very traditional cornucopia—went all wrong she knew she might as well give up. Her head wasn’t in it today. Neither was her heart.

  She knew exactly where it was. It was at the Double C.

  She’d been surprised at how she’d opened up to Coop last night. Granted, he’d pressed her into it, but it had come as such a relief to finally just tell someone. And he hadn’t judged. At least, not much. Maybe because he’d been there when her whole life had gone into the toilet, and he understood the why behind her decision.

  Now she was reminded of the friendship they’d shared before. Maybe he’d made a mistake. No, not maybe; he had. But he had also been caught in the middle, trying to do what was right.

  Hmm. Was she forgiving him? She thought she had before, but now she wasn’t so sure. All she knew was that she wasn’t as angry. And that had come with the words she’d uttered last night about not wanting Scott back. She wished she’d found out about her ex-husband’s indiscretion a different way, but it would have been far worse to not know and spend years in a sham of a marriage. Her spidey senses told her that his affair wasn’t his first and probably wouldn’t have been his last. She’d been so wrong...about so many things.

  Cooper could never know how affected she’d been by that kiss. How everything had seemed to fade away until all that was left was the sensation of finally being in his arms. Finally knowing exactly what he tasted like, and even more disturbing, realizing that it was somehow familiar, even though it had never happened before. All the hopped-up, tingly sensations today made it feel as if someone had reached in and turned the clock back to age fifteen.

  But they weren’t love-struck kids anymore. They were adults. They’d been through stuff a lot more serious than not having homework done or losing a football game. More than ever, right now, Mel longed to be somewhere that felt familiar. Someplace like home, a touchstone to a past she’d once known and loved. The iron gates and majestic house at the Double C had sent a flood of familiarity through her last night, even in the dark. Maybe she’d take a drive out there today.

  Or not. That was a bit obvious, wasn’t it? Resolutely she got out a pumpkin-shaped bowl and inserted a foam core in the center. For several minutes she worked on adding orange lilies, yellow daisies and poms, peachy-orange roses and crimson-veined carnations into a Thanksgiving arrangement. Frowning, she reached for a few spears of wheat and bunches of artificial cranberries just for a teensy pop of color.

  She tapped her fingers on the work counter. She liked this one. And yet her mind kept straying to the Double C and Coop. What was he thinking in the clear light of day? People became single parents all the time, but normally because they got caught or their marriage had split. This kind of thing—intrauterine insemination—simply wasn’t done in a town the size of Cadence Creek.

  Melissa wanted to believe Cooper would keep the information to himself, but what if something like this got out? She had to make sure he understood. She’d been prepared to deal with questions after the fact, but now, when it looked as if pregnancy was a moot point, she’d really rather keep it hush-hush. No sense overturning the apple cart.

  And then it hit her—the perfect excuse. She’d never given Coop back his jacket, or Jean back her cookie dish. Mel could drop both off and say thank you for last night. And remind him—very nicely, of course—that he’d promised to keep her secret to himself.

  Before she could change her mind, she locked up the shop and stopped by her house for his jacket and the dish.

  The autumn afternoon was gilded in warm sunlight. When Melissa pulled up to the gate, she caught her breath. She hadn’t been able to see things quite so clearly last night in the dark, but she’d truly forgotten how stunning the Double C was. What had been dark shapes then were in full, vibrant color today. The house looked like a country club with its white pillars and creamy-beige stucco. Coop’s place was smaller but equally as beautiful, with a similar, downscaled design. To the right and beyond lay the immaculately kept stables and fields where the Fords made their fortune breeding stock horses.

  The Double C appeared to be doing even better than before. As she pulled into Coop’s yard she paused to watch a pair of chestnuts gallop along a pasture fence, manes and tails streaming. She sighed, watching as one gave a sassy little buck. Coop must love it out here, with all the space and freedom. She felt a bit of pride, knowing her friend was such a success. He’d always been focused and driven. Now he put that attention into the family business, and it was clearly thriving.

  She went to the door and knocked. His truck was in the yard, but there was no answer. Mel was heading back to her car when her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw a new text message on her screen.

  Watching football at the big house. Come on up.

  Her gaze swerved to Jean and Bob’s place. A figure stood in a big window facing her way, and as she squinted she saw him wave. With a laugh she tucked the phone back in her pocket, got in her car and drove the short distance to the mansion.

  Coop met her at the door. “Hey. This is a surprise.”

  She held up the jacket and container. “I was at loose ends. I thought I’d finally return your jacket. I forgot last night.”

  “You’re doing okay?”

  She shrugged. “Yeah. I guess.” It was nice of him to ask. Was she still bummed? Very. But she was giving herself time to settle, not make any rash decisions.

  “I thought you were going to go into the shop today.”

  “I did for a while. I got restless.”

  He seemed to accept that and stood aside. “Well, you might as well come in. We’re just starting the second quarter and there’s a rumor that Mom is making nachos at halftime.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.”

  “I’m sure.”

  Stepping inside felt familiar, even though she hadn’t visited in years. Despite their obvious affluence, the Fords had made their house warm and welcoming, with no pretense or airs. She followed Coop into the den, where his parents sat together on a leather love seat, eyes glued to the screen as the Edmonton Eskimos hit first down and ten.

  “Hey, look who I found,” Coop said, stepping into the room.

  Jean popped up from the love seat immediately. “Melissa! This is a lovely surprise.”

  “I brought back your dish,” she said, holding it out. “I know it’s the real deal and figured you’d want it back.”

  “Are you feeling better? Coop said he drove you home early last night.”

  Mel smiled, warmed by the concern. And feeling a little let down that she wasn’t spending the afternoon with her own parents. She hadn’t talked to them in a couple of weeks. “Much better, thank you. A good night’s sleep was just what the doctor ordered. I don’t mean to intrude on your afternoon, though.”

  “Don’t be silly,” Bob said, tearing his eyes from the screen. “It’s good to have you around again. Have a seat. We’re getting our butts kicked, but there’s still time to turn it around.”

  She sat on the sofa, a different one than she remembered. It really had been a long time since she’d been here. Cooper sat, too, but left the middle cushion between them. She let herself get absorbed in the game for a while, cheering when the quarterback made a great pass, only to have it incomplete. When the kicker missed the next field goal, everyone sat back in disgust.

  “I can’t watch. I’m going to put those nachos in the oven,” Jean said.

  “I’m going to grab another beer,” Bob added, putting his hands on his
knees and getting up. “You want another, Coop? Melissa? Get you anything?”

  “I’m fine, thank you,” she said, and Coop waved his dad off. As the halftime whistle sounded, they found themselves alone.

  “Why’d you really come today, Mel?”

  She tucked one ankle beneath her other leg and turned a little on the sofa so she was half facing him. Leave it to Coop to get right to the heart of the matter. “I was trying to put together some arrangements for tomorrow and I couldn’t focus. I just needed to get away, get some space, you know? These days my life is going from home to the shop, maybe to the Wagon Wheel or grocery store or post office, and back home again. I needed some room to breathe, I think. Especially if...” She paused. “Well, I can’t go on this way indefinitely. I need to figure out what comes next.”

  “So you came here. To me.”

  She frowned and looked away. “Gee, don’t make it sound like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like that.”

  He persisted. “Like someone who kissed you silly last night?”

  Her gaze snapped to his. She didn’t want it to, but it was a reflexive response to his question. For a moment tension snapped between them and she remembered his fingers digging into her bottom as he moved into a full-body press last night.

  “That shouldn’t have happened.”

  “Why?”

  He was undeterred. Mel stole a glance at the archway, but only heard muffled sounds of Bob and Jean talking and the creak of an oven door. No chance of being interrupted yet.

  “Because we’re barely even friends again. It just confuses everything. And I wanted to make sure you weren’t going to say anything about...you know.”

  He gave a snort of disbelief. “You mean about you trying to get knocked up by some anonymous donor with a turkey baster? Don’t worry, my lips are sealed.”

  She pursed her lips. “That’s exactly the reaction I’m trying to avoid. Thanks a lot.”

  He let out a breath. “Sorry. That wasn’t fair. What you do is your business, Mel. I’m more annoyed that you think I’d shout it to the rooftops or something. You should know me better than that.”

  She swallowed. “Fair enough.” She looked down at her hands, which she’d twisted together. “Coop, about three years ago... I need to get over that. After all, it wasn’t you who cheated on me. When Scott left, I had to have a place to put my resentment. I guess I chose you, because I felt betrayed by you, too.”

  “I know, and I’m—”

  She cut him off. “I know you’re sorry. And the truth is we can’t change it now. In some ways I wouldn’t even want to. The last few weeks reminded me of the kind of friends we were before. I’ve missed that. I guess I’m kind of hoping you’ll forgive me for holding a grudge for so long. And I’ll forgive you for being so snippy just now.”

  She looked into his eyes. They seemed almost green in the afternoon light, the color brought out by the green in the Eskimos sweatshirt he wore. Coop was so good-looking. He was a good guy deep down, he was successful, and she couldn’t imagine why some woman hadn’t snapped him up yet.

  And he’d kissed her last night.

  Remembering caused her to shift her gaze away, back to the television screen. There were ads on, but she didn’t register them.

  “So you’re not interested in me that way,” he said, more of a confirmation than a question.

  “I’m not interested in anyone that way,” she replied. “And besides, it would be a quick way to ruin a friendship.”

  “Food’s up!” Jean called from the kitchen.

  For a second Coop looked as if he was going to say something else, but he finally gave a crooked smile and relaxed his shoulders. “What do you think? You up for nachos?”

  Mel grinned, relieved he hadn’t pressed the issue. “Of course.”

  They made their way to the kitchen, where Jean had the platter set on the island counter, surrounded by bowls of salsa, sour cream and guacamole. Coop’s eyes widened when Melissa pulled several cheese-encrusted chips onto her plate, all topped with jalapeño peppers. For the next several minutes they chatted and laughed, and Melissa helped herself to a can of pop to counter the heat from the peppers and salsa.

  The game came back on, but the score got worse when a turnover resulted in a touchdown by the opposing team. When Coop asked if she wanted to go for a walk to stretch their legs, Melissa agreed—especially after eating that many chips and guacamole. The afternoon was warm, so they made do with what they were wearing as they wandered outside, gravitating toward the ranch buildings.

  “We’ve expanded some since you were here last,” he said, leading her past the main barn. “Business is good.” He pointed at a new structure. “We built an indoor ring, and use it for a lot of training. It’s quiet now, because it’s Sunday, but it’s usually pretty busy, working the horses, training them up. Stu’s good around the barns, but I’ve got a couple of first-class guys who really know what they’re doing.”

  The passion and pride in his voice was unmistakable. “You’ve got a good reputation,” she said, ambling beside him, feeling the warmth of the sun soak into her. “I mean...in business.”

  He barked out a laugh. “Not so good with the ladies?”

  She kept step with him as they made their way down a dirt lane toward a small pasture. “Rumor has it you haven’t been too active in the love department lately. Which is funny, because I seem to remember you enjoying female company quite a bit.”

  He was quiet for several beats, and she turned her head to look up at him, questioning.

  “I dated to put in time,” he confessed. “So that I wouldn’t be the single guy when everyone was pairing up. But I wasn’t looking for anything serious.”

  “So you changed girls like you changed your socks?”

  His lips twitched. “It was hardly that often.”

  “You never dated anyone more than a month or two,” she pointed out.

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “So why the sudden drop into celibacy?” They’d reached a fence and Mel stepped forward to rest her arms on the white painted rail. “Amy said she asked you out and you turned her down. I think you hurt her pride.”

  He did laugh then. “Amy seems to manage all right. One of these days she’s going to find someone and get her claws in good and tight. I sure didn’t want to be that guy.”

  “She thinks that someone broke your heart.”

  Coop’s gaze pierced Mel. “Since when did I become a hot topic of conversation around Foothills Floral Design?”

  “Since you brought me cookies,” she confessed.

  Instead of responding, he bent forward and gave a low whistle. About a half-dozen heads popped up, ears twitching, and then, as a group, the animals trotted over to the fence, all long legs and soft noses and wide eyes.

  “Oh, babies!” Mel smiled widely as the colts and fillies approached the railings. “Oh my goodness, Coop, they’re adorable!”

  “Aren’t they?” He reached through the gap and scratched between the ears of one buckskin colt. “I love them at this age. They’re full of oats, you know? All energy and cuteness. And all except for one is spoken for.”

  “Which one?”

  He pointed to a sorrel filly with a white star. “Her. She’s from Ford’s Firebrand and Morning Mist.”

  “Misty! Oh my gosh, you still have her?”

  He grinned. “Yeah, we still do. I remember she was your favorite. She’s fourteen now and has a number of offspring. I wanted one of hers here, you know?”

  “You sentimental, Coop?”

  He smiled. “Maybe a little.” The filly came over to the fence and Mel reached out and rubbed her soft jaw.

  “You really love this place, huh.”

  He nodded. “Always ha
ve. It’s my heart and soul. The only thing I ever wanted to do was work with Dad and take over the reins when the time came. I learned at his elbow. It’s not a job. This is my life, you know?”

  “I think I do. It’s rare, your connection. I love the flower shop, love what I do and how I’ve built it. But this...this goes deeper. This is right down to your boots, isn’t it?”

  “It is. The land, the horses, breeding them, training them...I can’t imagine doing anything else.”

  She was quiet for a moment as the horses drifted away, and then she sighed. “Can I make a confession, Coop?”

  He chuckled. “Why not? Hate for you to stop now.”

  She gripped the fence and stared at the fields beyond the small pasture. “How you feel about this place? That’s how I feel about having a family. It’s like there’s a part of me that’s missing. I’m proud of how I got back on my feet after the divorce. I love that I’ve made a go of my own business and I enjoy the business I chose. It’s not that I’m unhappy. But there’s a part of me that wants—needs—to be a mother. I can feel it in the deepest part of me, you know?”

  She looked at him and raised her eyebrows, asking the question that had bugged her more than anything the last months. “Does that make me less of an independent woman, do you think?”

  Coop reached over and put his hand on top of hers. “Of course not. What makes you strong and independent is making choices that are right for you no matter what anyone else thinks. Following your heart and doing what it takes to make your dreams a reality. And you know this, right? Believe me, Mel, having a career and being a mom are not mutually exclusive events. I know people don’t realize it, because she was always here, but my mom was—is—a fantastic parent, yet she also put in countless hours on the ranch. She’s always kept all the books and records, and wasn’t afraid to get her boots dirty, either.”