02 Unforgivable - Untouchable

by Lindsay Delagair

  I sat on my bed, grateful it worked and I had some breathing room. I was restless tonight anyway because the show was only three days away. We were performing the day after New Year’s, and the two week delay only served to build the public’s anticipation for the finale.

  My bruises and marks were nearly healed as I stood in the bathroom and studied myself in the nude. They were light yellowish green now and the bite marks healed to fine pink lines that, hopefully, would fade in time. I filled the tub with hot sudsy water and slid in, letting the jets relax me. I was totally relaxed, forgetting about the show, forgetting about what was going on in the other bedroom, forgetting about Micah, forgetting…

  “Ah!” A thought struck me as I inhaled and sat up in the tub. Over the past fifteen days, I had forgotten some things too well. The longer I sat and concentrated on it, the more I began to see things clearly—especially things of God and things of purpose. Wow, what a difference a revelation could make.

  I was up before both of them the next morning. My hair brushed, makeup on, and I was in the kitchen putting together a big breakfast. The scent of fresh perked hot coffee drifted through the house and mingled with the tantalizing aroma of bacon, eggs, and biscuits. It didn’t take long for my aromatic wakeup call to work.

  They came out together, sleepy faced and puzzled, but smiling as they entered the kitchen and sat at the island.

  “Just in time. I’ve got breakfast ready,” I said as I began filling their plates, “I put cheese over the scrambled eggs. I hope you guys don’t mind.” I placed the plates in front of the silent pair, “You two look like you could use some coffee.” I poured two big cups and set them down in front of them with the sugar and cream containers, as I sat down and joined them.

  “What got into you this morning?” Ryan asked. “By the way, you look great.”

  “You must be feeling—better,” Candace seemed to be having a problem finding the right word.

  “I am.”

  Ryan looked suspicious now.

  “Honestly,” I defended. “I’m okay. By the way, Don called me early this morning and he wants me in studio, at the latest, by Wednesday morning.”

  “I can’t believe you’re going to actually finish the show,” Ryan stated. “I’m going with you. You know that right? I’m not taking a chance that he’ll get his hands back on you.”

  “He’s not going to bother me in a crowded studio and I don’t plan on being alone. It’s fly out, do the show, fly back the same night and…” I’d almost said a little too much.

  “And, what?”

  “And then I’m done. It’ll be all over with and I won’t be going back to L.A. ever again.”

  “I’m still going.”

  I could see the worry spread over Candace’s face. “I have an idea,” I said with a smile. “Why don’t we all go? Candace couldn’t go before because well, you would look like you were into polygamy, but she can now.”

  I watched her face brighten.

  “No,” Ryan snapped.

  “Come on,” I urged, pushing his shoulder. “We won’t be in any danger during the show and we aren’t going to hang around afterward.”

  “What if you win? They’ll expect you to hang around for a while.”

  “Nope, win or lose, I’m out of there right after I say goodbye to my friends.”

  “Please,” Candace asked, finally finding her voice.

  He was out numbered and hopeless to turn down the women in his life. “All right, fine. But if I see him coming around, both of you are out of there.”

  All the Remake contestants were back for the finale to a packed house. Tonight’s venue was completely different from how the show normally worked. The artists were to be a surprise. We would have less than a half an hour to meet and learn the song. Then we would perform with the artist and band, but we would be the lead vocal.

  I wasn’t surprised when I found out what we were singing. They had been hand-picked by ownership. I would sing ‘The Reason’ with Hoobastank, and Sadarius would sing ‘I’ll Make Love To You,’ with Boyz II Men. Micah was either trying to make me remember what we meant to each other or he simply wanted me to breakdown and cry on stage. I wasn’t crying tonight. The song he chose for me had too much meaning now to do anything else but give it my best.

  I had drawn the first slot and I went on stage and gave a stellar performance. I looked for him as I sang. I had a feeling, if he wasn’t sitting in his office watching on the monitor, he would be somewhere tucked away from the crowd and the cameras. Just as I was a verse away from the end, I saw him appear in the edge of one of the exit corridors. I knew he realized I’d seen him as he hesitated and seemed to be ready to back away from my gaze, and then he decided to stay as I finished the song.

  I took my seat as Sadarius prepared to sing. I watched the whole time to see if he would leave or stay. Sadarius did an incredible job with his song as well; Micah standing off in the distance watching. When we finished our performances, they opened the voting lines and the public had one hour to vote while all the contestants came on stage for a music medley. They played numerous clips from the first show all the way through. I was being careful to avoid Carrie at all costs, but she didn’t seem like her old self, she was actually smiling and happy.

  The big announcement had finally arrived as Sadarius and I were called to center stage. I had planned all along if I won I was giving the money to him. He was a decent, moral and kind person who deserved everything this opportunity could afford him. And, if he won, I’d simply be happy for him because he was truly an awesome singer, and I hoped he would get to fulfill his dreams of cutting a record deal after the show.

  Our emcee opened the envelope as the lights all around us dimmed and we were the only two remaining in the spotlight.

  “By a separation of less than three percent, the winner of season one, Remake is… Sadarius Collins!”

  The confetti and balloons were dropping from the ceiling as the crowd rose to their feet. Sadarius was hugging me so tightly, tears running down his face. He kept saying, “I don’t believe it! I don’t believe it!”

  “You did it,” I smiled over the roar of the crowd. But, what I didn’t expect was him to plant a big kiss on my lips right there, live on stage with millions of viewer watching as he dipped me slightly backward. I know my expression reflected my surprise as he righted me. He smiled and said we needed to give the tabloids more to write about. I laughed in spite of my dislike for the tabloids.

  All the contestants went back stage and Dobrey approached me and gave me a hug, slipping something in my hand as I thanked her and tucked it away. Ryan and Candace fought through the crowd to get to me. The three of us were taking off despite the huge party they were throwing at the Hilton’s grand ballroom.

  We were back in Colorado Springs by two in the morning, and they drove me home. Ryan was prepared to stay the night again, when I simply told him no.

  “You two are going home—your home. I’ll—”

  “No way,” he began.

  “I’m going to make sure everything is locked up tight. I’m setting the alarm and I’m going to enjoy some peace and quiet—go home.”

  We argued for a little longer until he finally realized that I would not relent. My mood had been so upbeat that I gave him no reason to worry and fret over me, and I could tell he was starting to give in. Reluctantly, he and Candace left for home.

  There was a lot to be done in a short span of time. I spent a couple hours packing and loading my car. Everything wouldn’t fit, and what was left would be bagged and set on the curb for one of the charity organizations to pick up. The rest of the time was spent cleaning the house and boxing food that I was leaving behind for Ryan to take home. I was finally getting away and he was not going with me. He had someone that changed his world and he needed to focus on her, not me.

  I’d called a local salon the day before the show and made a private appointment for early this morning. The long brown hair extensions
were going. I was getting a trim and going back to blonde, maybe even ultra blond this time. By seven a.m. I was in the hairdresser’s chair and losing my famous appearance; then it was back to the house by nine.

  I had just sat down to compose my letter to Ryan when a UPS truck pulled into the yard. The driver came to the door with a small package in hand. I signed and went back inside, wondering what it could possibly contain. I opened it carefully and pulled away the lid to the brown box to reveal a new Apple iPod with a note. The writing was Micah’s and had evidently been scrawled quickly. All it read was “No one has to pay me for this job. Micah”

  My heart was picking up the pace as I began looking around. He wasn’t far away the last time he had one of these delivered to me. I hated being afraid of him, but after our last meeting, and this odd note that seemed to lean toward murder, I was terrified. I got up and locked the door and turned on my alarm system and put my cell phone beside me.

  The iPod contained a single song. I knew the group, and the song sounded familiar, but I didn’t remember it. It was ‘Breath,’ by Breaking Benjamin. I slipped the earphones on as the song began to play. My heart froze against my breast, a lump rising in my throat and my hands began to tremble as I listened to the words, ‘…So sacrifice yourself…I'm going all the way…You take the breath right out of me. You left a hole where my heart should be. You got to fight just to make it through, 'cause I will be the death of you.”

  He had gone from being remorseful after he attacked me, to now letting me know he was going to end my life and no one had to pay him to get the job done this time. “Oh, Micah,” I whispered, “Why baby, why?” I had my escape planned before I received his threat, but I would be extra careful now because I couldn’t allow him to get anywhere near me.

  I was prepared to write a farewell to Ryan, but now my heart was heavy and what should have been a happy moment to let go of him had been darkly overshadowed. I wrote it and left it lying on the coffee table. I made no mention of the fact that I was, once again, on the run from Micah. I simply told him I loved him too much to keep being the thing pulling him away from the life he should have had before he met me. Just as I was finishing the note, my cell rang. It was Ryan. I didn’t know if I could get through a conversation with him without breaking down.

  “Hey handsome,” I said softly.

  “Hey, yourself, baby girl. Candace is at work today and I’ve got permission to spend my free time with you. I’m on my way over and I don’t plan on you turning me away.”

  I took a slow breath. I was really going to miss him. “Sounds good to me, just let yourself in when you get here.” I paused for a moment, “Ryan…”

  “Yeah?”

  “I love you.”

  I could hear the smile through the receiver, “Love you too, Leese. I’ll be there in ten.”

  I closed the phone and grabbed my keys. I would be long gone in ten minutes.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  It had only been two days since the show ended. Micah was finishing up the details as he prepared to head back to Louisiana. What he really wanted was to see Leese and tell her how much he honestly regretted what he’d done that day. But, like the lady she was, she came back and finished the show with her head held high and wouldn’t look away when she saw him.

  His health was back to normal. Once again he was rock-steady and under complete control, but the toxicology reports on his vial of blood came back as a near overdose of anabolic steroids mix with amphetamines. He knew D’Angelo spiked the food and probably the wine to make certain he was filled with rage and aggression when he confronted her. But, he couldn’t prove it, and D’Angelo had already denied any wrong doing when he questioned him. He couldn’t do anything about it at this point, and he still was furious over his own ignorance for going to where she was when he knew something wasn’t right, but what was done, was done. As far as he was concerned, no matter the reason or cause behind it, he made the worst mistake of his life.

  If Leese harbored any doubts between loving him or Ryan, he was certain he destroyed any chance he had of winning her back. He didn’t have a reason to live any more, but he knew the stigma and suffering it would bring to his family if he blew his brains out. He would keep doing the ever increasingly dangerous jobs D’Angelo had for him until someone took care of the problem.

  He neared the stage when one of Don’s assistants approached him. “This was just delivered for you, Mr. Gavarreen,” the young woman stated, handing the envelope to him and then walking away.

  He stared at the plain white envelope. There was no need to open what looked suspicious in the presence of others, so he headed down the corridor toward his office passing people in the hallway as he did. Curiosity wasn’t going to be delayed for complete privacy as his finger slipped under the edge of the flap and tore it loose. They were photographs, and from the small piece of hip that was exposed they were of a woman with very little clothing on. He reached his office door, oblivious to those around him as he carefully revealed what remained of the first picture. Everything within him froze; unbearable wasn’t the proper word for what he saw.

  Suddenly he felt two men on either side grasping his arms. He knew he didn’t have a chance. Their hold was like iron straps as they snatched the packet of pictures from his hand and pulled him into the office. He had no fight in him even if his reaction time had been faster. The pictures of Leese’s battered and bruised body had taken every ounce of resistance completely out of him.

  “Yeah, I thought a little reminder about your handiwork might make this easier,” Ryan stated calmly. “This isn’t going to be a fair fight,” he admitted as Andy and Ty gripped Micah’s arms. “But, then again, it wasn’t a fair fight for her either.”

  Ryan started swinging.

  By the time he finished, Micah wasn’t much more than just a body on the floor. He lifted the bloody face up for the final time. “You are such an idiot! I can’t believe she’s thrown her whole life away because of you,” he practically spit the words at Micah. “Are you really stupid enough to believe that she left you for me? You don’t know her at all! If she hadn’t been trying to save your… If she hadn’t been forced, she never would have done it.”

  “W—what?” Micah slurred, “Tell me—please.”

  “You aren’t worth it! At least I’ve kept my promises, but I never told her that I wouldn’t kick your ass for what you did. She wouldn’t call the cops and she wouldn’t let me take her to the hospital after you finished with her. I had to wait until the next day to knock her out with brandy to get these shots.”

  “She doesn’t drink,” Micah spoke, clearer than before.

  “There are a lot of things she doesn’t do, but you… You son-of-a-bitch, if I have to bury her because you sucked out the last of her will to live, I will be back and I will kill you!”

  Ryan threw the photos on the floor and the three of them left.

  Micah rolled onto his back, everything was throbbing. He was sure several ribs were cracked, his gut was on fire and everything had a red haze from the blood that was stinging his eyes. He laid there for a few minutes and then made it up on his knees. His head swooned as he staggered up on his feet and stumbled for his bathroom.

  He looked in the mirror with a strange sense of appreciation at the work-over Ryan had given him. He washed his face. The sting of chlorinated water in the cuts helped him become more alert. When he finally dried off, he assessed the wounds. He had cuts under both eyes, his lips were split and swollen, his nose was still bleeding, the side of his right cheek was thick and red and his eyebrow on the right was also split and still bleeding. He was right about the ribs, taking a breath was excruciating.

  Grabbing a few more paper towels he went back into his office and picked up the photos off the floor. He sat at his desk and stared. He didn’t know exactly how hard he had handled her in his fury. He had been filled with so much rage that he’d blocked most of that afternoon out of his memory, but looking at her, the image
s came vividly back. Her cheeks and eyes were black and blue from where he had slapped her so hard that he knocked her onto the coffee table. There was a shot of her back showing all the bruises she sustained where she hit it. Her lips were swollen and cracked just as his were now. Bruised skin covered her from where he’d gripped her throat and shoulders, to the places where he grabbed for her when he snatched her back from trying to escape. Ryan had even taken pictures of her ripped clothes and her bloodied undergarments. A wave of nausea hit him—what kind of animal had he been that day?

  But then Ryan’s words pricked his consciousness. What did he mean that she didn’t really leave to be with Ryan? Who forced her to run that day, and what did he mean when he said she was trying to save someone?

  There was only one person to get those answers from, but if she was willing to suffer through what he’d done to her and still not tell why she left, how would he ever get her to talk? And then another pain hit his chest; Ryan’s last statement made it clear that Leese was a suicide risk. She seemed fine the night of the finale, but then again she left with Ryan immediately after the show.

  He had to get to her. He had to find her and tell her he was sorry for doing what was unforgivable. But he had to have answers and he knew she’d still refuse him.

  He waited for the bleeding to stop before he headed to the airport. He knew her well enough to know if he got close to her, she would be more concerned about his injuries than her own safety. He shook his head; how could things have gone from the happiest moments of his life to the darkest?

  Hours later, when he arrived at her house, no one was there. He picked the lock and went inside to discover her belongings were gone. He called Nadia, cowering inside at the berating he was sure to receive, but evidently Nadia was in the dark about everything concerning Leese. She wanted to talk, but Micah had to cut the conversation short as he simply told her it was of extreme importance that if she called to please have her get in touch with him right away.

  He staked out Ryan’s house for several days, she wasn’t there, but another woman was. This woman was as young as Leese and evidently Ryan’s actual girlfriend. But, from the constant expression on Ryan’s face, he was extremely worried about Leese. She had to be on the run again, but why? He’d made no effort to bother her since the attack. Why would she take off? Unless she was planning something she didn’t want Ryan to witness.